"So this is your favorite bar?" Cora said as they sat down at one of those small tables that you have to hoist up onto. "Oh my I haven't been this high up in awhile."

"Do you approve? I know it's not as fancy as some of the bars and clubs you frequent."

"Oh it'll do, darling, I can fit in everywhere. I can't stand these tables."

"Oh mama, these tables are great. You can study people."

"I guess that's neat," she said offhand. She was eyeing couples on their first dates or maybe their fiftieth, whatever it was-they were happier than Cora was.

"So how are you?" Mary asked.

"Darling, let's not talk about me, so what about this Matthew?"

"Oh god, we need a drink before we discuss it. What will you have?"

"Mhmm, a vodka martini will be fine."

Mary came back and her mother the drunk and sat down, "Okay fine, I confess Matthew asked me out tonight."

"How wonderful!" Cora said with excitement. Mary was not old by any definition, but she was the only daughter unmarried. She knew Mary was very self-absorbed and happy how she was, but having her settled would make her very happy.

"Please I didn't say yes."

"Do you not like him?" she said and tok a drink.

"I do…I just." She shot her mother a look. "I don't feel right being happy and in love when you're miserable."

"Mary, don't make yourself miserable on my account. Seeing you happy would make me happy. Plus I won't be this miserable forever, I hope."

"Alright, mama. I don't intend to accept, not now. I want to take care of you."

Cora drained her drink, "Just never let me be an excuse for you not to be in love. I still believe in it, you know."

Mary smiled, "I won't. Now let's have fun, I'll get us more drinks.

Hours passed, both Mary and Cora were pretty well gone. Cora felt happy for the first time. Yes it was alcohol-induced, but it was something. She knew if anybody was in her mind right now, they would call her stupid for missing Robert. After twenty plus years of marriage, you don't quit loving the man over night even if he was awful. He was an addiction. Mary was dancing with a man. Cora sat sipping her drink in her own littler world. She skipped out of the bar, and headed to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, laughing at her intoxicated state. She ran her fingers through her hair; she still felt beautiful for her age. She stepped outside, hoping to find someone with a cigarette. Mary didn't allow her to smoke in the apartment; she was itching to smoke. There was a woman with a long black sleeveless dress, smoking. She had cold eyes and a queer look about her, but Cora approached her with kindness. "Excuse me, I'm Cora Crawley, I don't know why I told you my full name, anyway, May I have a smoke?"

The woman handed her a smoke and lit once Cora had it perched in her mouth. Cora distanced herself from the women, fearing she had been to forward. "I'm sorry for bothering you, I'm not usually like this, I'm rather buzzed."

"It's alright," the woman puffed out the smoke, "have you been to this bar a lot?"

"I have not. I'm here with my daughter. It's her place. Have you been here long?"

"No, I just moved here, for a job as a police officer."

"Oh well, I was going to say," Cora said moving closer, "You didn't look familiar, I know everyone in this town."

"You don't know me."

"Well, we will soon know each other. Come and sit with me indoors," she said putting out her smoke and waiting for the woman at the door.

"That's my daughter, Mary, see her dancing there," Cora pointed as she sat close to the women. "Could I get you a drink?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

Cora found her a little odd, but like her company. Devoting herself to her children and family, she gave him much, moving away from everyone she knew and all her friends. Her friends were now friends of her husbands and the others from charity work, they were never deep or personal.

An older man approached their table. If Cora wasn't drunk and desiring closeness, she would have had rejected him. And wanting to dance, she accepted his offer to dance. It was a slow dance, she pressed against him.

"You are rather beautiful, has no one asked you to dance?" he asked

"No, I rather think I'm all washed up, never to be loved again.

"No, your eyes are like sapphires that would entice any man," she looked up at him, as if looking up at a god.

"Oh stop," she said. The funny thing is that he looked just a bit about Robert, or maybe she was imagining it. To be held so close and gently, she didn't want to stop her imaginings-it was all she wanted. "Oh, Robert," she said softly before she noticed him trying to feel her up. "What do you think you are doing?" she said softly but harshly as she tried to get away. He held her until the woman, who Cora was acquainted with my spirit if not by name, came up behind him, "Take your hands off her, I will have you arrested." she fibbed.

"Fine," he said turning away and loosening his grip. Cora gave him a push and away, led by her new friend.

"I wonder where my daughter got to. I really don't feel much like being here anymore." Cora said fighting tears. It's not that she was surprised that this had happened. It had happened a million times in her youth and even when she danced after her kids had flown the coop. But it was different now, she wasn't jolly anymore-she was down on her luck.

"Her she is." the woman said.

The unnamed women filled Mary in what had happened; Mary could see that her mother was a little shaken and ready to go, "Oh thank you for being there for her. I'll take her home now. Do you want anything?"

"No. I'm just glad she's okay. You never know what kind of people are lurking about."

Mary nodded. "What is your name?" Cora asked as they walked out together.

"Sarah."

"I'm such a frightful drunk. I didn't even think to ask earlier.

"Nevermind that."

"Call me, my number….Mary's number is in the book," she said as Mary led her to a cab. Sarah nodded and disappear as Cora walked away.

"Mama, I'll brew up some tea. I'll bring it up to you."

"Thank you, darling." She said with a weak smile and ran upstairs to her room.

Minutes later, Cora was joined by her daughter. "I'm sorry I took you out tonight. I thought it would help."

"Don't apologize to me. If I wasn't so broken up about everything. I would have laughed at him."

Cora took a drink of tea, "The truth is I wouldn't be so upset if he didn't have a likeness to Robert. It was my fault, really. Me and my stupid fantasies. Your papa did once treat me well, indeed. I hope for those days, though no hope should be found seeing how things are. I just want him to look into my eyes and see sapphires instead of cold chunks of ice that he has to chip away. But as it is, it was just a fantasy, I was rudely awoken from.

"Mama, it will get easier," Mary said. "I know it doesn't feel like it now."

"Will it?" Cora said putting down her cup and turned over to lie down. Mary left silently, brushing her fingers through her mother's hair before she went.

The image of oneself was hard to reach when it was lying in a mirror that hadn't been looked into for years-no matter how much Cora wanted to see her reflection. It would take time for the present. She wanted something more-the fantasy, the reality was to disappointing for words on that starlit night. She was not quite ready to let it go, not yet.

Note: Robert will make small appearances for awhile. More Sarah/Cora friendship and Mary/Cora. Also Cora/happiness :)

Spoiler: Edith's coming to town next chapter :D