Author's Note: Still going strong ;) I have changed a few things in the preceding chapters and am updating them as I go. Mostly little stuff, like time line and locations to match the real world a little better. If you catch a glaring error, I would appreciate the head's up. And again, thank you for the wonderful reviews!

Chapter 10-Mistaken Failures

"So, why are you really coming with me," Gemma asked the man in her passenger seat bluntly. "Watching me shuffle papers and count cat pills will be far less entertaining than Lisbon and her police work."

"Can't I just want to spend time with you?" Jane asked, his blue eyes wide. Gemma gave one of her little snorts and eyed him. Jane realized he had missed her little snorts and gimlet stares. He had just missed her, and hadn't realized how much until he found her again. "Okay, guess not. Look, we've lived different lives for five years, and I'm curious."

"Curious?" Gemma replied. "You know everything there is to know about me, Janey. You've known me my whole life."

Jane shrugged, and held the handhold over the window tighter as Gemma's truck whipped a corner. "Not really, Gemma, not since you moved up here six years ago. To be honest, I've never really tried to understand why you came up here. But I'm trying too."

Gemma was silent for a moment. Jane saw too much, more than she did sometimes. "And what have you decided?"

"You came up here to connect," Jane said, looking at Gemma. His eyes were shadowed as he looked at this woman he had known since she was a little child stealing his watch and wallet. "But I have a question for you."

"Do you want the real answer?" Gemma asked in return. Jane nodded.

They were too alike, and both had a talent for brutal honesty they had learned to temper with each other to avoid unnecessary hurt. Of all the people in the world, they never bothered to lie to each other. Omit, yes, occasionally mislead, but never out and out lie. But to give a "real answer" was to not soften the answer, and never given without warning. It had taken Jane's wife almost a year to start to understand their private language, made of code words and ritual gestures that became a communication shortcut. Whole conversations could occur without anyone else the wiser. Between two people who could read each other so well, words and sentences became a hassle, so they had simply eliminated the chaff.

"Where did I fail you?" Jane asked after taking a deep breath. "I've made so many mistakes with my life, and they have cost me everything. They cost my wife and child even more, cost you nearly everything too. But I can't quite figure out where I went wrong with you."

"Who said you failed me?" Gemma asked in surprise as they pulled up to the clinic near her home. "Most would say you succeeded. I'm a former pick pocket, con artist and car thief who now has a graduate degree and her own business. I was even asked to sit on the county tourism board last year. You have to admit, I seemed to have turned out alright."

Jane hopped out of her truck, and followed her inside the office. It was a small, square building painted off white with a mint green trim. The large painted sign outside proclaimed Gemma's name and business to the world. As they made their way inside the front door, Jane spotted a stall attached to the side for large animals, set up to allow easy unloading. It looked like a custom built set-up, and he suspected Gemma had designed it.

The lobby was simple and functional, with comfortable and easily cleaned chairs and pictures of random animals on the wall. A large aquarium filled with brightly colored fish burbled on the far wall, and Jane could see small fingerprints on it from children despite the sign forbidding touching. A few product advertisements were sprinkled on the tables, and the strong, peculiar scent of pet cleanser filled the office.

"Sparky, you went to an expensive, private school in Malibu. Your friends were the children of movie stars and the ridiculously wealthy," Jane pointed out. "You could have done anything you wanted, yet here you are, living alone and working as the underpaid veterinarian in the boondocks. And you aren't happy."

Gemma blinked. "Janey, where is this coming from?"

Jane caught Gemma's arm and turned her to face him. He looked deep into her eyes, and put his hands on either side of her face. Gemma saw the look of concern and affection in his blue eyes as he pushed a few of the midnight curls back that had escaped her ponytail.

"You aren't happy," Jane said again.

Dark almond eyes met worried blue, and Gemma gave a small, sad smile. "Maybe not. But I'm not unhappy, either," she said as she gently slipped his hold.

Jane's lips narrowed, a flash of irritation in his eyes. Gemma saw it, and sighed as she walked away. "I'm not lying to you, so don't even start."

"I'm trying to understand," Jane called as he followed her into a small, lightly cluttered office. "Just help me understand, Sparky. Please."

Gemma sat at her desk, and looked into Jane's pleadingly innocent eyes. Her eyes flickered to the small loveseat across from her, and back. Jane took the hint, took off his jacket and sat heavily, waiting.

"The great Patrick Jane,"' Gemma started with a gentle smile. "Psychic to the stars, gifted stage performer, and charming as all hell." Jane shifted, looking away in embarrassment. "You are a self-made man, Janey. You have always ignored what got in the way, or changed the game to favor you."

"Before…."Gemma paused, before starting again. "Before we lost them both, you believed in nothing but yourself. Not God or religion, not social strictures or even simple human decency. None of it had any intrinsic value, except how you played it."

"I was an arrogant, egotistical and vain man," Jane agreed softly, guilt haunting his expression. He ran a hand through his curly blond hair, and swallowed. Gemma waited until she caught his gaze again.

"You were also loyal, kind and generous to the people who cared about you," Gemma continued. "That's what your wife saw in you. Because even when you were at your worst, we never doubted that you loved us with your whole being."

Gemma turned her chair and looked out the window, silent. The silence dragged on, but Jane just tilted his head, eyes narrowing slightly as he waited.

"I knew about the money, you know," Gemma finally said, ignoring Jane's surprised look. "The money you sent to my mother from the time I was 8 until she died. There was no signature, but I knew it was you. I had to take it before she found it, hide enough for food and rent while she drank the rest away. I was so grateful, and so bitter about it. Grateful that you sent it and so very bitter that you had to."

"I couldn't let…" Jane started to say, before Gemma waved him quiet.

"I know. Believe me, I know," Gemma interrupted. "I tell you this because you doubt yourself. You have been taking care of me for almost as long as I can remember, and you didn't have too. But what is wrong with me, it started long before you even met me. This is one fault you cannot claim, because it isn't yours."

"What does that mean?" Jane asked gently.

"Until I came up here, I spent my whole life as a reflection of those around me," the dark eyed woman continued. "My mother taught me to steal for her. Your father pretended I didn't exist. My aunt thought of me as a trouble maker, and I stole a car. When I came to you, you expected a co-conspirator, and so I was. Your wife got the sister she missed. That expensive private school saw a genius whiz kid. Those friends? They wanted a rebel, different enough to be exciting, but similar enough to not be threatening. And I pleased you all. But I didn't please me."

Jane leaned forward. "I'm sorry. I didn't see it."

Gemma waved off the apology. "How could you? I didn't even know I was doing it. But you did the right thing by me, Janey. You let me go. I didn't understand why I was pulling away, not really. But you still let me go, and made sure I knew I could always come back."

The morning sun caught Gemma's glossy black hair, with just a hint of blue. Her coal black eyes were serious, but also affectionate in the look she gave to the older man sitting across from her. "Maybe I'm not happy. But I'm content here, I can actually feel like I have filler and am more than a hollow shell. I have hated, hated, these last five years without you in my life, Janey. But it also meant I had to take a good, hard look at myself, and figure out what I wanted."

"You didn't fail me, Patrick Jane. You saved me," Gemma said with a bright, sunny laugh."Can't argue with that, now can you?"