A/N: I wanted to apologise for people not receiving proper replies to reviews- for some reason I haven't been being alerted to them (BFF IRL informed me she had been reviewing some stuff and I was like say what? So I had double checked and I had reviews but no alerts)… LONG STORY SHORT, thank you all and I'm glad you guys have stuck with me. I'm also kind of psyched because I never thought this story would take v well (especially with the Rathan so thanks guys, seriously)
So the thing is, Lucas isn't really used to getting what he wants. He's always had a way with the ladies sure but in the long haul not much joy has fallen straight into his lap. So although it's awesome and brilliant and he's discovered Nathan is the only person ever to be able to kick his ass at pool- Lucas taught him well- and Brooke seems to think he's some sort of go-to style guru because she keeps shoving fluffy white dress samples at him and asking for his opinion, it didn't feel real. It felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop.
And sure not everything had changed, if anything Rachel's pregnancy hormones have made her more likely to yell at him- like right now- she was shouting at him for taking the last piece of chocolate cake the cafeteria had. And seriously everyone in the room was staring at him like he was the freaking devil or something.
"Rach!" He interrupted her and pushed the plate across the table, "have it!"
She hiccoughed and then broke out into a sunny smile, "oh Lucas thank you, you are just the sweetest."
He decided not to ask her to repeat that for his camera and let her eat in peace. Halfway through she dropped her fork and pulled a face, "oh my god did I just say that to you?"
Lucas grinned, "yup. I was touched."
"I think I'm gonna be sick!" She announced before dashing from the room.
"More cake for me," he murmured, pulling the delicious cake back across to its rightful owner.
"Did you just make Rachel hurl on purpose for cake?"
He choked on the piece in his mouth and lifted his eyes to scowl at Peyton, "mfno!"
Fortunately she was smiling and she sat down in the seat previously occupied by her best friend, "kinda seems like you did."
"It's good cake man, waste not want not."
"You're right," she said easily before literally taking his fork and helping herself.
He would say something but Peyton Sawyer was being freaking nice to him and he really didn't want to send her running to the bathroom.
That was the other thing. The big thing that had him on edge. Over a month had gone by and he still hadn't managed to make her look like she wanted to push him off the roof. Yeah there were still times when she got in his face and yelled at him about decisions he made that were technically hers to make but hey- he's never been a guy who followed the rules and he can't change now- mostly it's because she looks fucking awesome all in her element chewing him out about something.
But seriously, it's kind of stressing him out how well they're getting along.
This would be where Nathan laughs his ass off at the irony.
"You need something Doctor Sawyer?" He drawled easily, rocking back in chair.
Peyton rolled her eyes and jabbed at his knee with his fork, "actually I wanted to ask-"
"Peyton," both of them look up with equal distaste on their faces as Julian smiles down at them, "do you have a minute?"
"Does it have to be now?"
Lucas had to admit, it made him feel kind of smug not to have the pure venom in her eyes not directed at him for once.
"Unless you're free later?"
"No," she said shortly, "I'm not."
"Ahh, busy socializing tonight?" Julian flicked his eyes over Lucas was amused disdain and Lucas reminded himself that punching the dude wouldn't impress Peyton; it would make her yell at him for damaging his hand.
"Not really," Peyton said sweetly, "more, washing of my hair, mopping my kitchen floor, sticking needles in my eyes if it means I don't have to spend more time with you."
To his credit Julian didn't even seem ruffled and Lucas had to find out what his secret was for letting poisonous shots like that roll right off his back, "yeah fantastic- don't make yourself blind or anything though- be a shame if anything were to happen to those eyes of yours."
Peyton clenched her teeth together, "what do you want Julian?"
"I want to run a clinical trial with a patient of yours-"
"No," Peyton cut in before he could finish.
"You haven't heard my proposal."
"You're right but the answer is still no."
"It's for Jason Skyes."
Something in Peyton's jaw twitched and Lucas braced himself to jump up and pull her away if he needed to.
"There's no way in hell I'm letting you anywhere near Jason."
Julian's smile darkened somewhat and he shrugged, "I've already cleared it with Robbins."
"Robbins is an idiot," Peyton spat out, "and she doesn't have rank over me. If I say no it's no."
"I'll pull seniority if I need to Peyton, this was just a courtesy request."
She stood up, her chair screeching across the linoleum floor and Lucas pushed his cake plate away to stand too; she looked like she was about to maul Julian.
"Fortunately for the children of this hospital I have the last say in cases like Jason's."
"Maybe but I've got permission to take it to the parents and that you can't stop me from doing. Read the damn file Peyton," Julian dropped it in front of her on the table, "it's the best option the kid has."
"There's always a better option than screwing with his brain Julian."
"His brain's already screwed."
There wasn't even a second's pause between the end of Julian's sentence and Lucas sensing he needed to catch Peyton's arm as it swept back, "don't," he murmured.
"What and you wouldn't?" Her eyes flashed as she turned to look at him and he was yet again impressed by the passion raging in them.
"But I'm stupid."
She wrenched her arm away, shoving the file back at Julian and shaking her head as she backed away, "there's not a chance in hell this is happening Julian- you forget how long I've known you and what you're capable of. I'll fight you every step of the way if I have to." And then she stormed from the cafeteria, the door crashing into the wall with a dramatic bang as she left. He had to give it to her, she knew how to do the awesome entrances and exits.
He glanced back at Julian who, for the first time Lucas had ever seen, was displaying signs of irritation, "could you please see that Doctor Sawyer gets this?"
Julian held the file out to him but Lucas shook his head, "no way man, I'm not forcing something on her she doesn't agree with; this is your shit, don't make me your errand boy."
Suddenly Julian was in his personal space and Lucas raised an eyebrow amused, like this scrawny kid could take him. "Look I don't know who you think you are but I've been working at this hospital for nearly a decade, I've known Peyton for just as long and if you think you're her little favourite now just wait till her expectations get too high for you, you fall short and then she'll fuck you over like a rag. Do yourself a favour and pick the right team here Scott, give her the damn file."
Lucas leaned in even closer and watched as Julian's eyes clouded with surprise and yup, definitely a little bit of fear before he backed off slightly, "I'll tell you what man, why don't you try and do yourself a favour and back the hell off? I'm pretty sure of the two of us, I'm not the one who'll come off worse here."
Julian narrowed his eyes, "I want this trial to happen Scott; you might as well get princess back there to accept it."
"Princess?"
"Luke!" They were broken apart by Chris flinging an arm over his shoulder and squeezing way too tightly as he tugged Lucas back a handful of steps, "sorry I'm late for our lunch bro- let's go now ok?"
"Yeah," Julian scoffed, "leave with your girlfriend Lucas."
He twisted out from under Chris's arm and turned back, "oh a joke about Chris being my girlfriend? Dude you can't get more lame than that. Also, for crying out loud, you're thirty something, wearing a doctor's coat and you're supposed to be saving lives, grow the hell up and learn about how to treat the people you work with right!"
"Is that supposed to be ironic coming from you?"
He shook his head, "I'm a quick learner man, you say you've worked with these people for ten years? I'd say you haven't learnt how to show respect to a single one of them."
Chris's eyes were as wide as saucers as he followed Lucas out of the room, "ok I don't know what I missed but I am so pissed at the guy who fell on a saw and cut his arm off right now because damn that looked awesome!"
He rolled his eyes and leant against the wall briefly, trying to compose himself, "I shouldn't have lost it like that."
"What are you kidding me? Julian treats everyone around here like crap, it's about time someone got all badass on him and told him to go fuck himself."
Lucas couldn't help but chuckle, "so why haven't you?"
"Have you seen me? He'd snap me like a twig! Chris Keller is way too pretty to get his brain chopped up and thrown in a dumpster."
"You realise when you refer to yourself in the third person like that, it makes you sound lame right?"
"It makes me sound cool bro," Chris retorted airily, pulling out his phone- no doubt to twee the entire hospital about what he'd just witnessed, "you just wish you could do the same."
"Two minutes ago you were calling me a badass!"
"I'm over it, move with the times newbie!"
Chris flashed him a wide smile and disappeared down the stairs, Lucas rolled his eyes, still grinning and then ran a hand over his face. In every conversation he and Peyton had shared over the last few months Julian's name had come up once, maybe twice, and even then it was in passing and to do with a procedure. She had never revealed anything about their personal history and if it had itched under his skin before, now he was burning to know what the hell had happened between them.
He could see why she was against a risky trial, especially for one of her kids; hell he'd learnt damn early how protective she was of them. But he knew a fair bit about people, and about their reactions to things and this one? Peyton had kinda blown out of the water a little bit.
The wind bit at his face as he pushed open the door to the roof and he exhaled with some relief when he saw Peyton leaning on the railings on the far side.
"Don't do it!" He called, smiling crookedly as she turned round.
He could see her rolling her eyes from across the concrete and he shoved his hands into his pockets as he made his way over to her. She crossed her arms as he got closer and he decided to keep some distance between them, just in case she wasn't ready for contact, "you ok?"
She sighed, picking at the paint on the railing, "not so much; was I really bad?"
"What? No! You were fucking awesome."
"Luke!"
He laughed, "I'm serious."
"That's what I'm worried about!" She turned back to look over the edge and he took a chance, moving to lean right next to her. They were silent for a second and he watched the wind whip her hair around her face, a frown darkening it.
"I wasn't over reacting you know," she said finally.
"Ok."
"I wasn't!"
"I believe you." She was actually pouting as she tried to glare at him and he grinned, "you don't scare me anymore Sawyer."
"What? Why not?"
"I got immunity- you were mean to me for a long time- I can take it now."
"But I'm still mean to you."
"Yeah but I'm used to it."
She bit her lip, "really? That makes me sound like a bitch."
He shrugged, "I know different."
"You sure about that?"
"Oh man you know you can't let one jackass mess with your head like this. The Peyton I know wouldn't care even if everyone in the freaking hospital thought she was a bitch."
She smiled faintly, "I'm having an off day I guess. I just, I remember what I was like back then- what he was like… And I don't think straight."
"You were together," he said in a strangled kind of voice, clearing his throat immediately and wincing, he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the details now they were heading that way.
"Yeah," she said softly, "and he was... God he was an arrogant bastard even back then."
"So you've got a type," he said grinning, trying to break the mood.
It worked for a second as she rolled her eyes at him, clearly trying not to smile back. Then her face clouded again and she sighed, staring at nothing.
"We had this patient, he was sixteen, and- and Julian thought he could handle him. This kid, he crashed like that," she snapped her fingers, "and it was just me and Julian in this room, four in the morning and I told him we needed help, but he wouldn't listen! He was so certain he knew what he was doing. But he had no idea. He screwed up and this poor kid, this kid Luke. He didn't even get a freaking chance to live, because Julian thought he was god."
"So how did Julian stay on the program?"
She shrugged, "Bryant said it was his fault; that he'd given Julian too much freedom too soon. But I knew, I knew I should have gone and got help."
"You couldn't have predicted how it was going to go down. You can't control someone else's decisions like that."
"I should have though, I should have trusted my own instincts and known Julian was in over his head. But I- I had faith in him I guess."
It explained why Peyton had flown off the handle at him the first night he'd let Blake deal with the central line- she couldn't bare it when kids were put in danger without experienced physicians right there- and he could understand that.
"I'm sorry."
"You weren't there; it's not your fault."
"No I mean with Blake, when you know- that night- shit if I had known-"
"It's a teaching hospital Lucas; interns need to learn. I should have handled that differently."
"But you like to keep a close eye on them- I should have respected that."
"I've learnt the hard way. I'm probably overzealous with what I do and don't let my students learn. It's why I don't have them often; I can't handle keeping an eye on them twenty four seven, worrying about what they might be doing by themselves in my patient's rooms."
"It just means you care Peyton; it means you're a damn good doctor."
She snorted, "but what if I'm using this? What if by not getting past what happened a freaking decade ago, I'm not giving Jason a chance?"
"He's your patient, you know what's best for him."
"Yeah but what if I don't? What if by not letting Julian try, to do what he does best and take a risk, I don't give Jason the best hope he's got?"
There was absolutely no way he could give her the answer she was looking for, no-one could make this call but Peyton.
"I don't know Peyton," he said finally, "I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you."
Her eyes met his and she stared at him for a moment, he felt like his skin was on fire with the scrutiny and he had to resist squirming under the intensity, then she smiled, a barley there quirk of her lips and said, "you're doing ok so far."
He wondered whether it would be inappropriate to ask her to repeat that. What was with all the women in his life suddenly saying nice things to him when he wasn't prepared?
Without another word he straightened up and tugged her close, pulling her into a hug. She seemed to stiffen for a second and he wondered if he'd overstepped and then finally, she wrapped her arms around his back.
"So are you," he said quietly into her hair and seriously, she had such gorgeous hair and up close it even smelled gorgeous, "even if you think you're having a bad day. You're still gonna do the right thing."
She pulled back slightly and looked up at him, "I hate to sound cliché Luke, but how the hell do I know what that is?"
He shrugged, chuckling, "trust yourself I guess. Do what I did with Nate last month and rip the band aid off- if you think the trial will help Jason then put the stuff with Julian where it belongs, in the past. But if you think it's not what's gonna be best for him then say no, fight like you said you would and- and I'll have your back either way ok?"
She tilted her head to one side, considering him again, "Lucas Scott, being a softy and a good person, who knew."
He narrowed his eyes at her, "shut up," and before she could protest he pulled her back into a hug. Just you know, to keep warm on the roof.
He didn't take her hand as they moved back across the roof but he sure as hell wanted to. It was like the other shoe had dropped but it wasn't where he was expecting it to be. He had no idea what box he and Peyton fit into now. Were they friends? Were they more than that? Were they just colleagues who hugged?
Would she start dating Julian again if they worked together? Would Rachel help him kill Julian if that happened?
If it wouldn't be fairly insensitive considering her current state of mind he'd stop and ask her to break it down for him but he suspected she had enough on her plate right now.
"Hey," he said suddenly, remembering their conversation before Julian had sauntered up and ruined a perfectly good cake eating session, "what were you gonna ask me earlier?"
"Oh-" before she could say anything else he stopped dead as they turned the corner towards the nurse's desk. "Luke?"
Peyton was frowning and waving a hand in front of his face but he couldn't move.
"Luke, you're freaking me out, why have you gone a weird colour?"
"Peyton," he managed finally, "is there a guy, about six two with dark hair over by the nurse's station or am I hallucinating?"
He could feel her turning round but he couldn't glance down at her, he couldn't take his eyes off the man in the uniform talking to Brooke.
"Yeah," Peyton confirmed, her voice quiet as if she knew why Lucas was freaking out, "he's here to talk to you right?"
As if to leave no doubt his pager buzzed and he finally snapped out of his daze to look down and see Brooke had paged him to inform him he had a visitor.
He scrubbed a hand over his face, "fuck me."
Peyton touched his arm, "you ok?"
"I- no. I gotta go." Before she could stop him he turned on his heel and strode towards the nearest elevator, stepping inside and pressing for the top floor, there was no way he could be here right now.