Author's note:
Dear readers,
another update for you to enjoy. I hope that you still like reading my story and would appreciate some reviews. Special thanks to the two guests that have reviewed my story and makoon555 for adding it to his story alert list. Your positive reactions and suppor make my day and motivate me to write more.
Best wishes,
Vani12
Chapter 9 – Moving on
The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, January 2000
Molly Weasley was still stunted into silence by the news of her only daughter. She couldn't compose herself enough to utter her total disappointment, rage and primarily concern in some harsh words. She had always thought that her little girl had everything under control, could handle her life without her naggings and aimed for a higher position in the Ministry. Ginny had always had clear visions of her future and had tried to turn them into reality. As a little girl, she had loved to dress her favorite dolls into fancy dresses. But their money troubles hadn't allowed them to buy her a set of different ones, so she had used her accidental magic to change them to her liking. As a second year, it had been her dream to gain a position on the Gryffindor-Quidditch-Team, so she had improved her physis, played Quidditch daily with her brothers during vacation and started to play with more confidence. As a consequence for her efforts, she had eventually joined the team.
As a teenager, she had had a crush on Harry and dreamed of marriage and children with him, so she had tried to gain his attention by dressing up, making him jealous with little teenage romances and being a good friend to him. In the end, he had developed feelings for her, reciprocated her love and asked her to be his girlfriend. Now, they enjoyed the passions, happiness, and excitements of being in love. Sure, Molly knew, that the war had also left scarres on her daughter's soul, especially her tortures by the Carrows and the death of Fred. But Ginny had always been such a strong, defiant and self-confident young woman that Molly had believed in her well-developed coping mechanisms.
Naturally, Molly hadn't been so self-absorbed with her own psychological issues and grief to not notice the lack of a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, happy smiles on her lips or a carefree spring in her steps, but she had trusted in her ability to open up about her sorrows to her family and friends. And every time she had asked her if something was bothering her, she had looked her straight in the eyes and responded that everything was fine; she just missed Harry terribly or had a bad day at work. Molly hadn't questioned the truth of her answers because she had been sure that she wouldn't lie to her or mask her unhappiness. Arthur and she had always tried to bring up all of their children with values like honesty, respect, tolerance, kindness, and politeness; to establish in them the knowledge that they could talk with them about everything that bothered or burdened them without fears or a sense of shame and to not pressure them with career goals or surreal societal expectations, for they only wanted them to be happy, feel loved and trust in them.
Perhaps, she didn't know her daughter's emotions, dreams and burdens as well as she thought, she realized wistfully. Her own demons must have made her ignorant and insensitive to the emotions of her loved ones, for before the war she had noticed with one look in their eyes if something was wrong. Sure, she knew that her own battle with depression has numbed her feelings and compassion for others somewhat. It had blocked her observing skills, for she hadn't been able to face all the waring emotions and unhappy faces without being reduced to tears. She had also noticed that her family had wanted to shelter her and walked around eggshells in their interactions with her in the first months.
A fact that had saddened her and cut her to the quick, because she hadn't been able to resume her role as the strong mother-hen who smothered her kids with affection or scolded them with fury for their foolish acts if they didn't talk openly with her. At first, she had felt isolated and useless as a mother, but her therapy sessions after her nervous breakdown had taught her to accept her feelings and negative thoughts, to show her vulnerability and to talk about her emotions. She didn't have to be ashamed of her depression and could only start getting better by letting her family in again and robbing them of their false belief to do her a favor by sheltering her. Perhaps, Molly had thought naïvely that Ginny could comprehend this and would talk openly with her. Alas, it seemed, that she had bottled everything up in herself without talking to her friends or family and masked her unhappiness and despair under a mask of fake cheerfulness and satisfaction.
She knew that screaming at her for her dishonesty or deception wouldn't help her one bit and would only cause her to hurt, negative feelings as well as distress. She would likely only drive her more into isolation, so she ruled her facial expressions and stated to Ginny's anxious sounding request,
"Ginny, I can't act as if I'm pleased with your decision to quit your job and start studying courses in the highly public, vicious and often times unfair fashion business, but I support your new way of life nonetheless. I hope that you are aware that your dad and I only want you to be happy and achieve something in life. If you have decided for yourself that your current life situation and job made you unhappy and you felt like missing out on something important, I'm proud of you for admitting this hurtful truth to yourself and having the courage to change something about it. I'm pleased that you thought your change in careers through, have already enrolled at the university and secured your first deal with a renowned company, for this proves that you didn't act impulsive and without a concrete plan in your head. But I can't stop to warn you in advance.
I can imagine that the fashion business is a tough, merciless and often times bullying environment, in which your success depends heavily on the whims of your customers, the rules of the business market, the critics of the fashion experts and the opinions of the press so that you will be constantly in the limelight, exposed to the praises or mockings of the public and have very little privacy. I know that you can handle this pressure and are exceptionally talented in creating your own uniques fashion designs, but I want to caution you for the shadow sides of being a famous fashion designer. Stay assured, that your whole family will always support you, defend your reputation, buy your designs or lend you sympathetic ears. But you should start growing yourself a thick skin, for the start of your business, the backlash of the press and the reviews of your foes will be hard and time-consuming.
That doesn't mean that I'm not proud of you for living your dreams. On the contrary, I'm especially proud of you for being brave enough to take these huge risks and face every challenge that life as a fashion designer will implement. Know, that you can always talk with us without fears or shame, for we love you unconditionally, Ginny", Molly ended her long monologue by stepping in front of her daughter, shedding some tears and taking her in a loving embrace. Overwhelmed by the support of her mum, Ginny started to break down in sobs and enclosed her mum in a tight embrace.
She mumbled between sobs with a tear-stained face and hoarse voice, "Oh, mum. … You can't imagine how relieved I'm to hear your positive reaction. … It really means the world to me that I will always be loved and supported," Ginny composed herself, looked her mum gratefully in her sapphire eyes and stroked her cheek lovingly, before she started to talk in a more steady, clear voice, "I know that I should have talked to you or dad, opened up about my sorrows and discussed my career paths with you. But I was too afraid of your judgment and too ashamed of my supposed failure. Hence, I bottled everything up in myself. I know that I need to work on my psychological issues like the nightmares with images of my tortures that still hunt me, my anxiety disorder to disappoint my family or my low self-confidence.
So, I have decided to have therapy sessions with a Muggle psychologist that I friend of mine recommended to me. I promise you that I will use all my energies to find my way to happiness again and start moving on from the horrors of the war. But these changes will take time and I can't promise you to always discuss any progress with you. I also know that there will likely be some setbacks and difficult obstacles on my way, but I will try to master them as best as I can."
Molly studied her daughter with mixed emotions of sadness, pride, and astonishment battling in her heart and answered her honestly, "Ginny, I know that you can master anything you want because you're a strong independent and brave young women with a kind heart, a sharp mind, and an open worldview. I'm proud that you have decided to work on your psychological issues with professional help. From my experience, I trust that this will slowly heal your wounds. But let's stop talking about distressing things. Tell me all about your dreams and how you managed to get a deal with the mysterious brilliant CEO of "The Prince's Peferct Potions" Sage Prince so fast? ," she needled her daughter nosily because she wanted to have some gossip and lighten the mood.
Ginny blushed, tried to control her facial expressions and answered in a business-like tone to not make her mum suspicious, "Mum, do you always have to needle me for some gossip? Actually, I met Sage Prince just yesterday in a London pub, where we exchanged our life stories and realized that we are kindred spirits for we are both hunted by the ghosts of our pasts and search for a way to be happy. I know that this story sounds bad, like we stumbled upon each other in a shady pub, drowning our sorrows in alcohol and pouring our hearts out to the next person who would listen, but it wasn't like that," Molly raised an eyebrow, signaled her to go on and listened with rapt attention, "Sage noticed our instead connection as well, made me the offer to listen to my story in exchange for his and encouraged me to start living my dreams, because he had moved on from some bad things in his life two years ago and started to focus all his energies on researching, inventing and improving potions, cures, and remedies together with his employees.
He opened my eyes and reassured me that it was still possible for me to be happy again and study fashion design. As I mentioned my financial woes, he generously offered to pay my tuition fees in exchange for my work on a new working clothesline for his company. Naturally, I had to take this chance because working for such a famous respected and renowned company could really bust my reputation as a fashion designer and Sage became my friend in such a short time that I couldn't say no. I know that you will probably caution me to not take advantage of his generosity and feel indebted to him, so that he can make me do things that I'm not comfortable with, but I can guarantee you that Sage would never hurt my trust by demanding inappropriate things, mocking my skills as a fashion designer or talking bad about me, for he is a kind-hearted nice young man with values, manners, and decency."
Molly looked a little doubtful but gave away her mistrust in the end. "Ginny, I trust in your ability to judge character and your intellectual faculties, so that I believe your description of Sage Prince. Naturally, I don't know him and everything I heard about him comes directly from gossip papers, the "Daily Prophet" or talks of other people. Therefore, you can never know what is a true story or totally rubbish. Besides that, most reports praise him for his genius potion skills, his generosity in donating and ambition to invent new potions as well as cures to the benefit of the Wizarding World. I'm excited that you can build a friendship with such a well-respected wizard, get to know him better and design some clothes for him. When you see him the next time, thank him in my name for waking my little girl up and instilling some hope in her again. But let's talk about your first ideas or sketches for your new fashion designs now, for your aura always sparkles with excitement when you talk about fashion and design. So, what does a modern witch wear today?"
Molly and Ginny spent the rest of the afternoon talking about new colors, materials, and patterns, that are trendy in the Wizarding world, and how Ginny wanted to combine them in her designs. The time moved quickly as they chatted pleasantly with a cup of tea and a slice of cake about her ideas, first sketches and next steps on the way to her first clothing line. Ginny felt carefree and she didn't have to fake her smiles. Thence, she recognized hat moving on and starting fresh could not only be deliberating but also fun.