A/N: As promised, early chapter. Enjoy.

ooOoo

Chapter 10: What I've Been Missing

There was a terrible silence. Haru wouldn't look at Baron, and Baron's eyes were too focused on the page before him to notice. Or if he did notice, his mind was far too preoccupied to mention it.

Eventually he spoke.

"Fiancée?" he echoed hollowly.

"You never knew?"

"Fiancée?" he repeated disbelievingly.

"How can you not know you're engaged?" shouted Haru.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Baron roared back.

There was an uncomfortable pause between the two of them, until Haru in defeat dropped her head. She sighed and looked away. "I'm... I'm sorry," she mumbled. "It's just..."

"Weird," they said in unison.

Haru flipped the book shut, getting up in the same moment. "Look... maybe this is all just a coincidence..." she offered, but even she did not seem convinced. "Maybe we're just looking too deep into this..." She glanced to the window, suddenly to emotionally tired to deal with any of this. "It's late; maybe you should be heading back to the Bureau."

It was a dismissal of sorts; a polite, requested one, but a dismissal all the same. He shouldn't have shouted at her, he reflected miserably. But instead he only replied with, "Of course." With a tip of his hat he headed back to the window.

Haru stepped away as Baron leapt easily onto Toto's back, turning her head away.

Fiancée?

She clenched her eyes shut, but one tear snuck past her defences.

"I'm sorry Baron," she whispered. "I'm so sorry for what you've lost."

ooOoo

"FIANCÉE?"

The books that were unlucky enough to be perched on the edge of the desk were sent flying to the ground, quickly accompanied by the files on Kinkan.

"How can I not know I'm engaged?" Baron growled, sinking into his chair while his shoulders visibly shook. He clenched his eyes shut, dropping his head into his gloved hands.

Toto cawed softly and flew down to the ground level of the Bureau. "Baron, you knew that your Creation status puts you at risk of such–"

The half-cat raised his head brokenly from his hands. "But ... engaged, Toto? I find it hard to believe that something that... that major could just be... could just be forgotten."

His eyes slid down to the files he'd swept off the desk in his initial anger and his eyes closed in resignation. His voice lost some of its original rage, receding into a lost tone instead. "I know, I know Toto that being a Creation means that I'm easier to be affected in stories, but... but still... how can something that important be just...?"

He sighed again, but didn't open his eyes. "I wonder what happened to her." There was a pause as both considered the possibilities. Not many of those possibilities were particularly appealing. "I wonder what she looked like," he added tiredly. Then suddenly his eyes flew open and he got out of his chair, turning to his left. Walking past an old grandfather clock, he faced a portrait of a young white cat, as if seeing it for the first time.

"Although... I'd imagine... she looks... like that."

Toto hopped carefully over to the Cat Creation, whose emerald eyes were lost in thought.

"Baron, do you ever remember putting that picture up?"

Jadedly, Baron shook his head. "It's just always been here. Like a part of the Bureau itself." He dropped his eyes down, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But... If You Listen Closely mentioned some picture like this in the description of the Bureau."

"And that's why you reckon it's here?"

"Yes. Probably the author was just making a reference to the real Louise."

Suddenly both the Creations struck upon the same idea. They glanced at each other.

"Of course. The author."

ooOoo

Haru shuffled her feet awkwardly at the train station, peering into her bag for the fifth time that minute. "Are you sure you're okay?" she mouthed to the cat doll sitting calmly amongst various scarves she had placed to make him comfy.

Baron nodded, but couldn't stop a small twinge of nerves settle inside him. Haru had been able to track down the name of the shop that Shizuku Amasawa had found him in, but there was no guarantee that it would hold any answers.

The question was, even if it did give answers, would he want to hear the truth?

A screeching of wheels told him the train had arrived and Haru carried the bag carefully on one shoulder as she tried to get onto the carriage without letting the bag get knocked about too much by the crowds. Even so, there was a certain amount of relief present for both the brunette and the Cat Creation when Haru managed to claim a seat.

Haru stared longingly out of the window, suddenly nervous now that she was back on a train. She couldn't help remembering the nightmares that had occurred last time she'd been on one.

Inside the bag, Baron could see Haru's face suddenly tense, as if batting off unpleasant memories. It seemed he wasn't the only one battling with some hidden demons. Remembering where they were, he resisted placing a gloved hand on Haru's hand that tightly gripped the bag's strap. Several times she almost let the lull of sleep claim her, but each time she seemed to violently shake herself out of it. Baron watched, puzzled by this behaviour. Sure, she probably didn't want to miss the stop, but still...

"...it was just – just a nightmare. Just a dream..."

Haru's words from the other day returned to him. Was that it? Just a simple case of nightmares?

Somehow Baron doubted it was that simple.

ooOoo

"Are you sure we're at the right place?"

Haru moved nervously from foot to foot, glancing down at the address in her hand, then at the building before her. "Quite sure," she said hesitantly. "Remember, it was quite a while ago since Shizuku found you here – maybe it's gone out of business since then."

"Maybe."

They both regarded the quaint shop before them, trying to imagine a young Shizuku Amasawa first discovering the wooden form of Baron. Eventually Haru added, "It does look a little like the Bureau."

"That's probably because Shizuku got the inspiration for the Bureau layout from here."

"Oh." Still new to the idea that certain writers could affect reality, the explanation seemed reasonable, if a little strange. "Yeah, I suppose." She bit her lip nervously. "It looks a little abandoned."

"The only way to find that out is to knock."

"Yeah..."

Feeling a little foolish at standing awkwardly outside the shop, she made to move forward to tap at the front door, but at her touch, the door revealed itself to be only ajar and so swung inward at her contact.

"Hello?" The room was dark, although a lamp in the corner dimly lit the room. Haru's hand gripped the bag strap for reassurance, unsure what to make of this complication. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

A form appeared at the bottom of the steps at the far end of the room, although the form seemed distorted. Violently squishing back the urge to run, Haru stood her ground and waited for the person to reveal themselves. A few moments later the shadow arrived at the top of the stairs, now on the same floor as Haru, and it became clear that it was just a person carrying a large cardboard box. He seemed equally shocked to see someone standing in the doorway.

"Can I help you?"

"Um, yes... have you heard of a wooden cat figurine called Baron Humbert von Gikkingen?" It was a long shot, but it was the only lead she had been able to find. "You probably don't have him anymore but..."

She trailed off, but only because the stranger was now staring at her. He was quite tall, dark haired and must have been about ten or so years older than her. He quickly dumped the box – which Haru could now be seen to be full of antiques – and stared at her with some emotion Haru couldn't pin down.

"You've seen the Baron?" he asked hoarsely.

"So you have heard of him?" Haru replied excitedly.

"Yes... well, not for... not for a long time."

"How long?"

"It's been nearly a decade."

"Did... did you also have another... doll? One called Louise?"

Now the man gave a strained laugh. "No, no there never was the Baroness here. My grandfather only ever acquired Baron – the Baroness was taken by his sweetheart, but the war separated them. We never discovered what happened to her."

"Oh." Her eyes flitted down to the floor, feeling Baron's disappointment even without looking at him. "Thanks for your help all the same." All this, all this way. For nothing.

Before she tried to leave, the man grabbed her wrist. "Have you seen the Baron?" he repeated.

Haru hesitated, but then saw the longing in the man's eyes. She placed a hand into her bag and felt Baron revert to his wooden state before bringing him out. "Was this the Baron you remember?"

His dark eyes widened; his hand moved towards the wooden figurine. "May I?"

Haru nodded and passed across Baron, ignoring the sudden irrational possessive feeling she had as she released the Creation from her hold.

'Cut it out,' she mentally scolded herself. 'He doesn't mean any harm, and Baron doesn't belong to you.'

"Yes... there have been a few changes – the coat is a slightly lighter shade, and the bowtie and vest have been altered entirely, but that was to be expected," mused the stranger, turning round the Baron in a thoughtful manner. "His eyes still shine though. That's good. And he still has the cane and top hat." He grinned a little ruefully. "Can't imagine him without those."

Haru smiled to herself as the memory of him wielding the cane before two cat guards rose to her mind. "He's been needing a new cane though," she added.

For some reason, this made the man laugh. "Yes, well after his adventure in the Cat Kingdom, I'm not surprised. He even mentioned that he needed a new one."

Haru stiffed. "Sorry?"

"Oh, sorry. What you said – it just reminded me of the story that was based around him."

"Oh." Haru laughed at her mistake in forgetting about If You Listen Closely. "Yes, I've heard of it. Does... does Shizuku still visit this place?"

Suddenly, the laughter in the man's eyes died. He placed Baron gently down on the table. "She used to."

"Do you know where she is?" Haru asked eagerly. "Do you think I could talk to her?"

"I'm sorry, I should've introduced myself sooner," the man said, his hand gripping the table tightly to keep it from shaking. "I'm Seiji Amasawa."

"You're Shizuku's husband? So you know where–"

"Yes, I know where Shizuku is," he cut in. "Unfortunately, she isn't in a position to be of any help. I'm sorry – did you know her?"

"She's my first cousin once removed, I believe."

The wooden form of Baron suddenly seemed to topple, almost falling off the table. Haru's hand shot out and caught him, spotting the look of pure shock even though he was still wood in her hands.

Seiji shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said – again – "but you obviously didn't get... didn't get told. We tried to contact everyone we thought might have known her..."

Her hand still around Baron, she tensed. "What happened?"

"A year ago she... she was involved in a... in a train accident. Do you remember the one on the news last summer?"

Haru nodded mutely.

"She didn't survive."

"Oh... I'm... I'm sorry."

His dark eyes dropped sorrowfully to the wooden doll Haru was now clutching possessively. He idly wondered whether she knew she was even doing so. "It's okay. I'm still coming to terms with it, but it's a shame you never got to meet her." His eyes phased out, perhaps remembering the redhead he loved.

"Can you tell me about her? About... her writing?"

He flicked his gaze back to the young brunette before him. "Yes, I suppose. She only ever wrote If You Listen Closely, but she spent a lot of time on it. She told me later she had had a different idea on the storyline she wanted to write; which based itself more on the loss of the Baroness – or Louise, I suppose – but although she never forgot it, she decided to change it in favour of the Cat Kingdom adventure. However, she did make one reference to Louise in her finished story – there's mention of a portrait that matches Louise's description if you read carefully – but she didn't bring the Baroness into the story directly."

"Why?"

"Why? I think she said something about how it'd make more sense for Takara to develop feelings for the Baron if the Baroness wasn't present. Also it gave him more of a sense of mystery if he didn't seem to have past."

"Oh."

"Shizuku wrote him as if he had never known a Louise, but she couldn't resist putting in one mention of her all the same."

"Oh," Haru repeated, struggling to find anything else to say. She supposed that explained things. Still... it just seemed so... so cruel. Shizuku had had no idea just what pain she would be causing when she wrote out the Baroness. Finding the subject painful even to consider, Haru glanced mutely around the old antique store. "Is the owner of the store around – could I–?"

Seiji shook his head again. "He passed away last week. In fact you were lucky to catch me – this place is going to be sold off and I was clearing everything away." He patted the cardboard box consolingly. "You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff he had crammed away. But then, he always did like to collect things."

"Did... did you know him?"

"He was my grandfather."

Haru winced and closed her eyes. 'Every time I think I find a safe subject, it turns out someone's died.' Out loud she said, "I'm sorry. How did he die?"

"He passed away in the night peacefully, so we're glad that at least it was a dignified death."

Haru nodded, but found that to be not much of a comfort. She gave a quick bow of her head. "Well, thank you for your time, sir; I think I should be going."

"Wait, can you just tell me where you found Baron?"

Halfway through dropping the wooden form of Baron into her bag, she froze. Technically, Baron did belong to Seiji; would he ask for him back? "I... acquired him. He just sort of fell into my life."

"It's just that the Baron disappeared shortly after Shizuku finished her story. We didn't know what happened to him." Seiji glanced at Baron in Haru's possessive grip. "If You Listen Closely seemed to take a lot out of Shizuku; she never quite had the drive to write again – not like she did with the Cat Kingdom story anyway. And then he went missing. We didn't know whether he had been stolen or just lost, but there were much more valuable things in the shop so why anyone would just take him, we never knew."

"D-do you want him back?" Haru was hating herself for asking, but her conscious wouldn't let her avoid it. "I mean, I just found him... or rather he found me... so he is yours... technically..." Her voice trailed off miserably at the end.

Seiji smiled at the young brunette, noting the way her hand curled around the Baron like a lifeline. He shook his head. "No, I don't need him," he said softly, amused by the surprise and relief that flooded onto the girl's face. "A decade is a long time and I've moved on. No, it seems as if he's found a new owner."

Haru grinned ecstatically. "Thank you!" In her delight she suddenly wrapped Seiji in an impulsive childlike hug. "I can see why Shizuku liked you; you're cool."

Seiji chuckled a bit at the praise. "Thank you. Does the Baron really mean that much to you?"

Haru released him and glanced down at the cat doll in her hand. "He's helped me get through a lot," she said truthfully, meeting Baron's emerald eyes to show him her authenticity. "I don't know where I would be without him." Even though his wooden state, his smile seemed to warm a little.

Seiji smiled. "Then he is certainly more use to you than to me. It was nice meeting you, Miss..."

"Haru."

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Miss Haru. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help to you."

"Oh, no. You've explained a lot."

'More than you could imagine.'