Alternate Power to the Pizza

Duncan had often been called oblivious but he felt that he was an excellent observer of human nature (especially when it came to his friends).

It was obvious, that when Veronica had decided to sit elsewhere at lunch that it was Logan's fault. Because Logan always picked and prodded at her; Logan liked attention. Especially when the attention came in the form of their petite blonde friend.

Duncan sighed and stared expectantly at Logan, "What'd you do, man?" He half nodded to the table that Veronica was currently located.

Logan's lips twisted in a frown. "Why do you assume I did something? Maybe you did something," he fired back. Duncan Kane causing trouble without Logan Echolls? It was unheard off.

"The last time I talked to her she thanked me for picking up her eraser that I'm pretty sure you threw," Duncan remarked.

Logan silently huffed. He was just returning her eraser, it's not his fault Mr Huffleson decided to alphabetically assign seats. (Why'd he have a surname like Echolls anyway? If only he was Logan Lester, his life would be so much easier.)

"I didn't throw it at her," Logan defended. "I threw it to her."

"Whatever, man, just apologize," Duncan advised, knowing that there was no point in arguing with Logan when he was in a mood.

Logan picked at his food, his eyes trailed onto Veronica and he wondered if Duncan had been right.

With a decisive look in his eye, he'd sprung up from his seat and made his way to the petite blonde with Duncan and Dick following from behind.

"Ronnie!" Logan swung his arm over Veronica's shoulder.

Veronica twitched before shrugging his arm away. "Personal space, Logan, ever hear of it?"

When Veronica had befriended Meg's friends, she'd been hit with a ton of questions and had come to discover the answers to a few important questions of her own. Like, why girls didn't generally stay friends with her. And why boys didn't romantically pursue her. And why a few girls even despised her.

And the answer was the three boys that had now infiltrated the table.

She sighed when the scene unfolded before her. Duncan struck up a conversation with Meg while Dick flirted with the other girls. She hoped they didn't grudge her for Dick's loose attitude towards girls and Duncan's misunderstood politeness. She was unsure as to why Logan was sullenly pouting at her, he hadn't lost out on any make-out buddies because of her while she had because of him.

Her new friends were sure that all the boys saw her as Logan's girl. And that was just ridiculous. Sure, she had a secret crush on Logan when he'd first moved here but that was a long time ago.

She hadn't known how to deal with the "Logan's girl" situation. She was certain that if she'd uttered a word of this to Logan, he'd laugh in her face. And even though she'd really liked her relationship with him, she also liked the prospect of having a boyfriend.

Logan poked Veronica's hand, he wanted her to pay attention to him, obviously, so why wasn't she? She absentmindedly picked at her food and he hadn't known what to do. Veronica wasn't usually upset with him. And when she was, she'd made it clear as to why and it was usually arbitrary reasons that would lose its purpose sooner rather than later.

He sighed dejectedly and then he'd felt someone touching his arm. Tammy Forrester. He arched an eyebrow and she clearly started to flirt with him and he'd just gone with the flow.

Veronica huffed, this was exactly the reason she had no other friends.

Veronica wasn't sure how her love life became center attention, considering she didn't exactly have one but the next thing she knew, she was in the girls bathroom denying any and all rumors of the ridiculous 'Logan's girl' prospect.

And of course Madison Sinclair was amongst those girls.

"Excuse me?" Veronica turned her attention onto the blonde.

"I'm agreeing with you," Madison plumped her lips. "He clearly sees you as one of the guys, Ronnie."

Veronica couldn't help but glare as Madison retreated from the bathroom, all high and mighty with a stick up her ass.

She couldn't disagree with the assessment. Ronnie. She'd always disliked that name but she let it go after a while because Logan's intentions had been good when he'd given it to her. As she grew, the dislike had gotten buried by promises of growth.

But as high school neared, girls in her grade and her best friend had grown and she was stuck in this abnormality of shortness and booblessness.

Madison's words had hit closer to home than she'd liked and what was worse was that Madison knew it too.

"Hey Ronnie," Logan casually greeted, opening his locker.

Veronica's lip twitched at the nickname that had been mocking her since the early am of the day but she'd managed to turn it into a tight smile. Logan's brow arched as he switched out his books. "You okay?"

Veronica nodded. "I'm fine."

His hand held the locker door, his brown eyes on her. "Yeah, you see, in my experience, fine is a euphemism for I'm upset and I don't want to talk to you about it but you should know it's your fault and fix it."

She should have expected Logan to confront her on her lack of presence this week but she didn't think he'd care with Tammy Forrester hanging off his every word.

She met his concerned gaze and offered him a soft smile of reassurance. "And sometimes fine just means fine, Logan."

"Ronnie," he let out, reluctant to let it be.

"I'm going to be at the library during lunch," she thickly informed him, the name reminding her of everything she'd wanted to forget. "See you later, okay?"

He bobbed his head and she walked away with feelings she couldn't quite understand.

The library had once been Veronica's fortress of solitude. She could study without disruptions or even take a quick nap without the fear of someone (Logan or Dick) scribbling on her face.

It's not like no one else knew about the library; they just didn't care about it unless research assignments were due. Most of the student body preferred to have their lunch outside and Veronica did too, sometimes she just needed to get away from the outside world.

"Hey Ronnie!" She heard Dick holler and the librarian quickly hushed him up.

Veronica took in a deep breath. "What are you guys doing here?"

Logan shrugged, grabbing the seat next to her. "Wanted to give you some company."

She sighed. "Fine. But I'm not going to be responsible for Dick."

"Only me, then?" He grinned cheekily, eyes bright and teasing.

She smiled just a little, there was something about a hopeful and bright eyed Logan Echolls that strangely melted her worries and annoyances into a blissful void, even if it's for just the moment.

"Have been since we were twelve," she quipped, smiling and proud.

He smiled back, unabashedly, happy that she was talking to him and not running away again. He's not sure why she's been so evasive recently, what he does know is that he misses her and if she needs time, he can give her that by not questioning her for the moment. But he doesn't want to fall out of contact with her, he doesn't do well with Veronica-less days.

Before he could respond to her, their attention was caught by the giggling blond.

Dick whimsically held the book up for them. "Games You Can Play With Your Pussy," he read out, laughing. "So this is why you love the library so much, eh, Ronnie?" He giggled loudly before being reprimanded again.

Logan caught the book in his hand and continued to read, "And lots of other stuff cat owners should know."

Dick burst into giggles once again when he found another book. Veronica closed her eyes, instantly regretting allowing Dick to stay at the library, she knew he was now purposefully looking for these titles.

"Dick, Dick, What Did You Lick?" He giggled, like the ridiculous fourteen year old boy he was and pointed excitedly at the book cover. "This one's about me."

Veronica cringed while Logan laughed along with Dick. She lowered her head and hoped that she wouldn't get tossed out with them.

Veronica doesn't understand what she's done to make Madison Sinclair hate her so much. There's a time that she'd thought they were friends and then suddenly, there was the constant snide insults.

"Admit it, Veronica Mars, you like Logan and all he sees you as is Ronnie. All anyone sees you as is a Ronnie."

Madison walked away smug and proper and Veronica was left with anger bubbling within her.

She had many conflicting thoughts.

No, she was not a name.

She was more than what her body was, she was intelligent and compassionate and she was more.

She knew that but it didn't stop her from feeling two inches tall and a bitter feeling of resentment for the physical qualities that she lacked.

The day goes by, she avoided talking to people because for some reason anything that's said somehow annoyed her more than she already was.

She ignored Lilly's texts for the moment, she knew most of them were complaints for how annoying Logan was being with his why is Ronnie so pissed at me and why won't Ronnie talk to me texts.

She couldn't bring herself to read or even hear the word Ronnie for the day, so she avoided Logan and Dick and everyone else that could possibly say the word.

She felt annoyed at herself for getting annoyed at something so trivial, it shouldn't matter, it really shouldn't. Logan didn't know about all of this underlying meaning, he didn't mean to make her feel so small about herself and she shouldn't be relating any of what she's feeling to him.

But it does matter and the reminders from him, however unintentional, makes her feel worse than Madison Sinclair smugly walking away from her.

She spent her last period in the library and she'd successfully managed to avoid people. She knew she could go home and deal with her issues. She just needed time to get over it, she hoped.

There was the rustling of the chair beside her and she didn't have to look up to know that it was Logan.

"Hey," he whispered, soft and nervous.

Her eyes close tightly for a second. She immediately felt bad for her behavior this week but she couldn't help herself, her head hurts and she doesn't understand so many things and that just made everything worse.

"Not now, Logan," she whispered, gathered her books and got up from her seat.

"Ronnie," Logan hurried called, getting up and immediately following after her. "Ronnie!"

She let out a harsh breath, her hair flailing about as walked faster away, "Stop calling me Ronnie!"

Logan stared, stunned at her command and the sound of undeniable anger in her voice. "What's going on? Can you please just tell me what I did wrong?"

She stilled, breathing heavily, she felt even more like crap. She doesn't understand why she's so angry at Logan. It wasn't his fault.

"Nothing," she said it bitterly and she's not sure why all of her words were filled with anger.

It's not Logan's fault.

Stop being mean to Logan.

Ronnie.

"I'm sorry, okay? For whatever I did, I'm sorry," his voice was achingly soft and it hurt her heart.

"It's not your fault," she admitted, slowing down, trying to gather her courage to face him.

"What's going on? Ron-" he haltered, her bitter tone telling him to stop calling her Ronnie echoed in his mind.

She closed her eyes, taking a breath, for the first time since she's thought all of her insecure thoughts, she confessed, "Just because I'm not the girliest girl doesn't mean that I'm one of the guys. I'm Veronica. In all my paradoxical glory. I'm just Veronica."

She let out a breath, trying her best to remain composed. She hadn't meant to tell Logan. She's sure he's going to laugh and tell her she's worrying about all of these things for nothing. That she's made him worry for nothing.

It was nothing.

Except it wasn't.

He swallowed, slowly digesting the new found information. His brown eyes looked her over with concern, his voice soft and cautious, "I didn't know it bugged you that much."

She clenched her jaw, annoyed mostly at herself. "Well it does, okay?" She felt defensive and she didn't understand why but she followed it. "I hate it. I hate the way it sounds. I hate what it implies."

"It's just a nickname," he softly said, lightly touching her shoulder. "What do you think it implies?

She took in a deep breath, shrugged off his hand and started to walk away. "Just forget it."

"You just blew a fuse over it," he followed her. "I'm not going to just forget it."

"You wouldn't understand."

He caught her wrist, stopping her movement and said, "Explain it to me."

She sighed, she's exhausted with all of her conflicting thoughts of why this doesn't matter and why it actually does. She doesn't really know for sure, she doesn't know if her explanation will make him understand because she doesn't know if she's reached a conclusion herself.

But she opened her mouth and let Logan in on the whirlpool of thoughts swirling in her brain, "Ronnie is someone I don't want to be. She's the tomboy that has no boobs and can't get a guy to look at her as anything but one of the guys. She's always going to be the friend and never the girl and I don't want to be that anyway. I don't want to look like a twelve year old."

She sounded whiny and insecure and everything she hated. She felt horrible and it's worse that Logan had to hear all of her thoughts on something so insignificant.

"Twelve year old Veronica was hot," he easily remarked. He wasn't good at the comfort thing. But this was Veronica. Veronica had never failed in her attempts at comforting him so he'd try for her. "And so is fourteen year old Veronica."

She let out a breath, surprised at his words. She'd expected him to laugh off her silly concerns. She hadn't expected him to call her hot.

She hadn't expected that to make her laugh. It's a small laugh, but she's relieved that he hadn't brushed away those thoughts of hers that made her feel bad about herself. "Of course you'd say that. I just yelled at you."

"I didn't know it carried that much meaning for you," he watched her cautiously, apologetically and with undeniable concern.

"I know," she nodded with understanding, relatively calmed down from moments ago. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm so-"

He touched her arm and shook his head. "Hey, no, I'm sorry. I liked calling you Ronnie to annoy you, not make you feel like crap. There's plenty of other names I can use to pester you with."

She chuckled, her headache slowly dissipating and her heart my lighter.

"By the way, you are hot."

She's sure he's teasing her at this point and she tried her damniest to ignore the way her cheeks flushed at his word but she's positive Logan knew, if his wide grin is any indication. "Shut up."

"I'm just saying. You know, a rose by any other name smells just as sweet."

"At least you learned something from the reading," she remarked, smiling and he gave her a wink, allowing her the change of topic.

Despite what he'd said, he knew she was right. Ronnie was that girl. The innocent best friend that should remain as such. Veronica was the girl he'd had a crush on since he first saw her on that soccer field in all her paradoxical glory. He'd mentally separated them and blissfully went on with his life.

But now she was back to being Veronica.

And she wanted him to know.

Always the friend, never the girl.

Was that her way of hinting at something? Did he want to be hinted at?

He swallowed and shook his head. No. Ronnie and Veronica were one person. His friend. He couldn't bring her into the mess of his life. She'd try and save him, like she always did. He'd let her, like he always did. But this was real life and out here, the monsters did win and she didn't need to know that. Not yet. Not because of him.

"Logan!" They heard the call of John Enbom.

Logan sighed, turned to his friend and called back, "I'm busy."

"Dude!"

"He'll be right there."

"No, I won't, we're not done talking."

"Logan."

"Veronica."

"It's not important."

"Everything that happens to you is important to me."

"Thank you," she smiled, appreciative.

There's a magnet on our fridge suggesting we accept the things we cannot change.

Veronica walked into the quad, Meg smiled and waved her over. "Hey, Veronica, we missed you yesterday. You're coming to sit with us today?"

Veronica smiled back. "Rain check?"

I refuse to believe it.

Meg bobbed her head. "Anytime."

The duo split ways and Veronica plopped on her seat next to Logan. "Hey," she snagged a chip.

He'd wanted to snarkily quip about how he existed again but he was just happy that he did.

"I'm sorry I've been so MIA these couple of days," she apologized to the group.

"I thought it was because of Logan," Cassidy piped.

Veronica glanced at Logan and shook her head. "Nope. Anyone wants to trade strawberry surprise for something chocolatey?"

Duncan raised his milkshake, accepting the trade while Logan leaned in and whispered, "Was it me?" It's been bugging him all week, the answer to that question. And while he'd gotten Veronica to talk about some of what was bothering her yesterday, he knew that wasn't all of it.

She found his eyes and softly told him, "I thought I missed having a girlfriend in school. So I tried making new friends."

She decided it was best to leave out the little rumour about her being his girl and the deductions from the girls in their class. It wasn't true and therefore unimportant.

"Aww someone's missing Lilly," Duncan said.

Veronica smiled. "Yeah, Lilly Kane can't be replaced."

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. "She would be pleased to hear that."

"Hey," she licked her lip. "Lilly's not the only one that can't be replaced." She playfully bumped her shoulder onto his.

If this week has proven anything, it was that Logan Echolls cared about her and if certain people couldn't handle her friendship with him, that was their problem.

A toothy grin graced his face. "Things girls will say to get pizza."

She laughed, snagging a slice from the box he pushed toward her. "Food of the Gods, my friend, food of the Gods."