A mother's HATE
Sheila was in heaven.
She hadn't been totally convinced by Jenifer's reassurance that the rachni was friendly, but the newly come alien and her translator were both very patient. It had taken Illia and Jennifer almost an hour to convince Sheila to let the rachni touch her. But as soon as she did, the music had swelled in Sheila's skull and she had sunk back, blissful. The rachni kept its claw touching Sheila's head and she wasn't sure she could move at all.
It was… She had no words. She didn't need any words. She could feel the rachni's gentle nature soothing her as she lay there, listening to the alien music. It was so beautiful. Parts were sad, parts were proud, parts were just plain alien. But it was all beautiful. The rachni was making the sounds, but they were not audible. Sheila did not want to stop listening, but she had to. She knew she had to. The rachni did too and the song worked its way to an ending that was beautiful as the rest.
"My friend Mishka would give an arm to hear this." Sheila finally said into the silence that had enfolded her. "She is a singer and..." She sighed in loss as the music faded completely from her mind. "Oh my. Is this addictive?'
"Not in the way you might think." Jennifer sounded almost as relaxed as Sheila was. Then again, Illia was sitting on her lap and Sheila pointedly was not looking at what the two were doing. "Is it habit forming? Oh yeah. Most pleasant things are. Will you die if you don't hear it? Not without a lot more exposure to them."
The next reply came straight into Sheila's mind. She didn't know how the rachni did it. All three of them said it wasn't telepathy. It just seemed like it.
I live the songs. I can sense others feeling them however and it generally feels like sensing Illia taste human chocolate. C-Flat Amethyst said into Sheila's mind. Sheila looked at the asari who smirked and nodded. Very tasty, but I can live without it. There have been those who did become too intertwined in our songs however. We do what we can for them. She sounded sad for a moment and Sheila had to fight the urge to comfort her.
"Some of us had little choice." Illia said quietly. "Wouldn't go back to what I was for all the credits in the galaxy though." Sheila looked at her and the asari shrugged. "I was dying. They saved my life. In doing so, they opened my eyes to a lot of things I had ignored or forgotten. Hard not to change when something like that happens."
"Yeah." Sheila blew out a deep breath and smiled at the rachni. "Thank you."
You are most welcome, Sheila. The rachni moved her claw and laid it beside Sheila. The girl laid her hand on it and was comforted. We feel other music in your mind. It is different from anything we have encountered before. But it is also oddly insistent. It is almost a probe.
"I belong to a group back where I came from." Sheila said slowly. "They are almost certainly looking for me." She paused and then spoke her deepest fear. "The one who took me. He wasn't the one who hurt me. He is known for twisting the minds of people. Making them serve him. I… I am afraid he did it to me."
The human and asari looked at one another and then at the rachni. C-Flat Amethyst made an odd noise, almost a groan.
I wish I had a definitive answer for you, Sheila. The rachni was sad. Perhaps my queen would be able to tell, but I cannot. Your notes are sad, lonely and some are discordant. But that could be from your pain and fear. You are calmer now and your pain is fading.
"Yes.'" Sheila sighed in contentment. "Thank you." She repeated.
This is what we do. The rachni replied. We are happy to soothe errant notes into harmony. It was what myself and my sisters were made for. It is not easy, but it is always rewarding.
"Is anything that is easy ever rewarding?" Sheila asked as she wiggled a bit, stretching just a tiny amount. She felt very good, but she was also very tired. She needed to sleep, but she was still afraid.
Not in my experience. The rachni replied, her tone super gentle. You still fear.
"Yes." Sheila's voice was a whisper now. "She has come to me in my dreams before."
So evil. The rachni sounded upset now and who could blame her? Sheila I do not know if we can ward your dreams, but we will do our best.
"That is all you can do." Sheila said philosophically. "I… If this doesn't work… If I can't..."
She broke off as Jennifer took hold of one of her hands and Illia the other. C-Flat Amethyst moved her claw back to Sheila's skull where it opened and slowly closed around the girl's forehead. It should have terrified her. It didn't. She knew the rachni wouldn't hurt her.
"No matter what, Sheila." Jennifer said quietly. "You are not alone. She will try to make you feel that way. You are not. Remember that."
Whatever Sheila would have said was lost as the bed started to spin gently underneath her. She didn't try to fight. Instead, she surrendered to the feeling and was falling.
Sheila landed on a soft surface. She tried to open her eyes and they wouldn't.
"Silly girl." The voice of the clone came from nearby. "Did you really think to escape me?" Sheila did not respond, simply hoarded her strength for what she knew was coming. When the clone spoke again, it was almost sad. "You are everything I had hoped for. Everything. You will be everything you should have been all along when I am done with you." Again, Sheila did not respond. This time, the clone chuckled. "The silent treatment? What are you? Three?"
Actually yes. Sheila said, but only in the deepest recesses of her mind. I am almost four.
She did not react as hands touched her, sweeping her wrists together and binding them. She did not react as her legs were yanked cruelly apart and also restrained. She did not react as something cold and slimy was slathered on her skull, a whirring and tugging heralding her hair being shorn off. She did not react as cold things were plastered to her now bare skull.
The clone clucked at her. "Come on girl, scream. Make it interesting." Sheila did not react and the clone sounded upset. "You think you are smart? Better than me? I will show you the truth."
White hot spikes tore into Sheila's mind from whatever was attached to her skull. She could not restrain a scream and didn't even try to. She would need her strength.
"That is more like it, girl." A hand traced Sheila's chest and touched her in very inappropriate places. "A twist here, a nudge there and you will see things my way. We are going to have so much fun together here in this odd place."
"You don't know where we are, do you?" Sheila was amazed her voice was so clear. She was gasping, but her voice was clear.
"It doesn't matter." The clone said with a leer in her voice. "We were linked, you and I. When you were brought here, I came along for the ride. We came out different places, but I am part of you now. You will never be rid of me. You can never escape me." Something narrow and cold invaded Sheila's body low down and she gasped.
{It works both ways.} What was that? Sheila didn't know that voice. Did she? It didn't sound human, whatever that voice was. It also did not sound like a rachni. It was almost mechanical. Almost.
The coldness inside Sheila expanded and she gasped as something hurt. But the pain faded.
"Hmm..." The clone sounded bemused now. "You are fertile here in this odd place. That was unexpected but not unwelcome. I think.. Yes. Once the overlay is in place, you will serve nicely. And if you bear children for me, so much the better. Less chance of you escaping and then they will serve."
Suddenly, everything seemed to slow. Sheila had never before encountered this feeling, but she had heard about it. She had been angry, yes. More than she could recall. But this… This was something far more. She had never understood how rage could be both hot and cold. Now she did.
The clone gasped as Sheila flexed her muscles and the bindings surrounding her flew off. Sheila snarled as she sat up. She was lying on a colorful bed in a small room. The walls of the room were covered in art work that look juvenile. The bed was the only furniture in the room. The doctor was clad in scrubs, and holding some kind of instrument, but her face held fear now.
Suddenly, they were not alone in the room! Jennifer, Illia and C-Flat Amethyst stood with Oracle Janet and the Reverend Mother of the Clergy! All of the humans and the asari opened their mouths in unison and when they spoke, the sheer power seemed to flatten Sheila back to the bed.
{We will say this only the once.} The combined voices were not angry and that was somehow worse. {You do not know what you are doing. Leave her alone!}
"She is mine!" The doc screamed, stabbing Sheila's arm with the instrument before the girl could move. It flashed. "She is my daughter now! Not yours! Go away!"
Something tore through Sheila. A feeling she had never known. A taste of… She felt a smile blossom on her face as her assembled friends stared back at her in horror. A cruel smile.
"Sheila… don't..." Janet begged, but Sheila had reached out with a hand that seemed to move so very slowly to touch the doctor's hand where it still sat.
"You did this to steal a daughter.' Sheila said savagely as her hand clamped down on the doc's wrist. The doctor jerked and then stared at Sheila. Her face was suddenly afraid. "Oops."
"Sheila stop!" Janet begged as power flared around Sheila's hand.
A sound came from the rachni and the from the Reverend Mother. Both were singing. But the music didn't quite touch Sheila thought her rage. The doctor screamed as Sheila's hand started to smolder.
"You like pain?" Sheila demanded. "Pity. You won't ever feel it again." Her hand flashed red and orange.
"SHEILA! NO!" Janet screamed loud enough to deafen. She took a step forward, but could not reach the girl. Sheila stared at her adopted mother then at her hand. She released the doctor and the woman fell to the floor, clutching her wrist and sobbing. It was charred black.
"I..." Sheila stammered but then everything stopped as a red and black armored form appeared beside her.
"Well done, girl." Stalker said in a mocking tone. "I knew you had it in you." Then he turned to the others and wonder of wonders, clapped. "Well played Oracle but this match is over. You lose this one."
"You of all people should know better than to boast before the end, Stalker." Janet was beyond angry now. "The war is not over."
"No, it has barely begun." Stalker agreed. "I would hope you are more civilized than to punish Anisette for being my pawn."
"She is a good kid." Janet said flatly. "And if she ever gets a shot at you? She will take it after what you did to her mom. And to her sister." She nodded at Sheila who couldn't move now however hard she tried. Jennifer, Illia and the rachni hadn't moved. The Reverend Mother was still singing.
"It is all right, Oracle." Stalker replied. "This is for the best. Sheila is a monster and I know all about being that."
"Do you?" Jennifer spoke for the first time. "Do you really?"
"You and your family are scary, Jennifer Solinus." Stalker replied with a half bow to her. "We are not enemies. The Oracle and I are enemies and she has done my family a terrible wrong. You helped the girl and stopped a criminal."
"Yeah." Janet's voice was silky, dangerous. "The fact that you kill anyone you choose because you don't know any better makes you such a great judge of character."
"You don't know me, Oracle." Stalker warned.
"Is that so, Arbiter Kat?" Janet spit the last bit and Stalker stared at her. "I know where you hide. I know where each and every one of your copies are secreted. My threat stands. You may delay my return. You cannot stop it. You know what I will do. I will burn every copy, every hidey hole to ash."
"Mom…" Shea's tremulous voice broke the tableau and everyone looked at her. "No."
"Girl..." Stalker started, only to pause as Sheila sat up. Her state of nakedness did not bother her. She wasn't human no matter what she played.
"I am not a girl." Sheila said flatly. "I am not your plaything any more than I am hers." She kicked the clone who cried louder. "You did this. You pushed the Oracle into this."
"I did not do that to you." Stalker said evenly. He actually recoiled as Sheila nearly exploded.
"BULLSHIT!" Sheila was off the bed and in his face. "You stole my mind! You gave me to her! What did you think would happen? Hmm? You knew she would hurt me. You knew how the Oracle would react. Then you sent me here! You knew her mind would follow, didn't you? No. I refuse to be your plaything. Mom, I am sorry. Please go. You cannot be here when I pass the threshold."
"Sheila no." Janet said weakly as Sheila knelt on the floor beside the sobbing clone. She seemed to collapse, but the Reverend Mother caught her and held her as she reached out feebly to the girl.
"You would kill for me, Mom but I do not want that. I was made to be a monster but I refuse to be one." Sheila said sadly even as Stalker grabbed her arm. She shrugged his grip off effortlessly. This was her mind after all. Her rules. "Go away!" She snapped and his armored form vanished.
"Sheila." Jennifer was staring at the girl now, her face ashen. "What are you doing?'
"He will keep coming after me." Sheila said sadly. "This was just the latest of his plots. He is vengeance crazed and he kills because he doesn't know anything else. I can't let my mom kill thousands of innocents for me, Jennifer. I can't."
"No." Jennifer said quietly. "You wouldn't be able to stand by and let that happen." She looked from Sheila to the Oracle who was crying. "So you die?"
"It is the only way to escape him." Sheila said with a growl as she kicked the clone again. "She and I are linked and he can track her! I am screwed."
"You are wrong." Jennifer has a small smile on her face now. "Oracle? Go home. It will be okay. But you won't be able to contact her for a bit. We will find a way to free her and get her home."
"What?" Sheila and Janet chorused.
"We do odd things for those we love." Sheila jerked as Jennifer was suddenly beside her, hugging her tight.
"No!" Sheila said savagely. "Let go! If you are in my mind when I pass, you will die too!"
We know.
That wasn't Jennifer's voice! Rachni music slammed into Sheila like a run away truck and she was flying. But she wasn't afraid now. She wasn't angry. She wasn't...
Somewhere else
She could see and hear, but she was detached. She couldn't feel anything even as the rachni that was far larger than C-Flat Amethyst crooned to her. Arms that was longer than she was tall bent down, scooped her up and held her close.
You are very brave, Sheila, but there are limits. The clone did program you but she did not know what she was doing. You are not human. She had no idea the heights and depths that your mind can reach or the power that lies within it. Your body is reacting in ways you cannot control. She had no idea what she was unleashing.
"I am scared." Sheila said weakly as she was held close to the warm chitin. "What I did… I wanted to… I was going to..."
I know. The other said gently. A threat to you, you could handle. But a threat to children in your presence was your tipping point. You have had to help hurt children before. The clone didn't know that. She isn't omniscient any more than your adopted mother is. Such a threat was an error. Your empathy is strong. Perhaps too strong for you to endure.
"What am I?" Sheila begged as soothing tunes pulled her in and bouyed her up. "What am I becoming?"
I don't know, Sheila. Only the wisest of beings ever truly know what they are. The massive rachni said gently as she rocked Sheila. We will help you discover what we can of what you are and why. The Solinus clan will aid you as well. They are good people.
"Good people get hurt around me." Sheila was fading, but she couldn't. She couldn't just surrender to the feelings.
Some things transcend species. The rachni said after a moment. Good people do what they do, not for reward or other gain. But because it is the right thing to do, Sheila. This is the right thing to do now. We will help you.
"But..." Sheila couldn't must the energy to articulate her concerns and she could feel the queen's amusement.
We have an ulterior motive. The queen sounded distinctly amused now. Sheila stared at her and the queen chuckled.
How else can we learn that really cool music in your mind?