Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter because, news flash, J.K. Rowling already does.
Tea With A Dead Girl's Parents
The Vandors apparated them outside their house. It was exactly how it had looked only a few years ago when Sirius had come here for the first time.
But it gave off a different vibe.
It gave off an aura of despair and gloom, craning his neck Sirius could see that curtains were shielding the French windows from the prying eyes of the rest of the world, looking down he noticed the wild grass that had once been so neatly trimmed and well kept. The hedges that had once guarded the four walls of the stately house well were now turning brown. To top it all off the clouds had completely blocked out the sun making it completely grey. Generally, sorrow oozed out of the place.
Mr. Vandor passed straight through the gate and gestured for the others to follow him. The 7th years looked at each other uncertainly and walked through the large iron gate as well. Gravel crunched under their feet and up close the house looked even drearier.
As they neared the house, the grand door opened and a small elf peered at the incoming visitors. The creature planted itself outside the door and stared at the ground dutifully.
"Show our guests inside," said a hoarse sounding Mrs. Vandor. ", And prepare the refreshments and food."
Rink bowed with flourish, his squashed nose brushing the floor. "As Mistress wishes. Come guests."
It led them through a dark hallway that Sirius vaguely remembered as being bright and sunny. As his eyes adjusted to the night like atmosphere he noticed that everything in the house had a thing layer of dust. His footprints made tracks and every time he exhaled deeply particles of dust flew everywhere.
It pained and touched Sirius.
He was pained because he could clearly recall that this house had not long ago been a majestic and beautiful place to be. Everything had been perfect.
But he felt touched because for the first time he realized just how much the Vandors had loved their only daughter. It was evident from the state of the house and from the state of the Vandors themselves that without Grace there was only darkness in their life.
As they navigated through complex corridors Sirius wondered if his parents would have done the same.
Unlikely.
He was after all disowned.
But for Regulus they would. He knew that much.
At the memory of his brother Sirius's blood began to boil. It was his fault that the Vandors were miserable, that he was miserable. He was responsible for all of it.
Did the Vandors know what he had done?
No, of course they didn't, they had let Sirius in, hadn't they?
If they had known the Regulus was the reason for all the misfortune in their life they wouldn't have even let Sirius in. That was just the way it was. But as he glanced quickly at Mr. Vandor he noticed that the older man was giving a sort of wild stare, which he averted quickly.
But Sirius had already seen. And he already understood.
Mr. Vandor thought that he was the reason Grace was dead. He hadn't tried to stop her, hadn't gone with her. Crazy as it seemed, in their eyes it was all Sirius's fault in some twisted way. Grief put strange ideas in one's mind.
Trying not to dwell on the fact that the Vandors probably hated his guts at the moment Sirius focused on where the elf was taking them.
The small elf opened a grand looking door and lead them into the drawing room. White sheets covered all the furniture and the cabinets were cleared of the silver and glass ornaments that once littered the shelves. It was a shell of it's former self. The elf straightened the living room hurriedly; ripping the sheets off sofas, wiping down the table and arranging food with a few snaps of it's fingers. Rink ushered them to the newly cleaned chairs and forcibly sat them down.
Professor McGonagall sat on an ornate chair looking flustered. "Well," she began, "isn't this nice of them to invite us to tea?"
Lily glanced and James, successfully plastering a smile on her face, albeit an uncomfortable one. Smoothing down her dress and glancing about she said, "Yes… it is."
McGonagall nodded, satisfied with the answer and stayed silent.
It was painfully quiet and Sirius had a feeling that he would spontaneously combust in a few minutes. "When do you think they're going to make an appearance?" he blurted out.
Remus gave him a stern look. "Sirius," he said threateningly, "don't."
"What?" Sirius snapped defensively.
"Don't be an arsehole." James deadpanned. "They've just come back from their only daughter's funeral –might I add, the one you still love- try to be a little sensitive."
"How am I not being sensitive?" he shot angrily.
"Forget it." Remus sighed heavily. It was nearing that time of month and Remus was getting more crabby and irritable by the day, which greatly annoyed the others as Sirius was acting like that too.
But for entirely different reasons.
Deciding that it wouldn't be practical to aggravate everyone anymore Sirius settled with being quiet and waiting for the grief stricken Vandors to return. Finally a few minutes later they entered the room. Gemini Vandor was clutching a tissue box tightly, her eyes red and puffy while Corvus Vandor steered her into the room with a grim sort of manner. He nodded at the students and the professor and settled in his chair.
"Rink," he said tiredly waving his hand, "pour some tea for the students and Professor McGonagall."
The elf jumped into action and poured tea into elegant china teacups with little Japanese cherry blossoms painted on the sides. Rink gave each of them a cup with shaking hands; Sirius accepted his and took a small sip. He almost choked on it, a hacking cough shaking his body. It tasted awful and very strange. The Marauders and the girls whipped around with alarmed expressions.
Mr. Vandor smiled grimly at Sirius's display. "I'm afraid with all that's been going on we haven't been able to buy any new tea leaves. Honestly, I had no idea we had any left, say Rink, where did you manage to scrape these from?"
Rink's face contorted in what was supposed to look like a nervous grin. "From the back of the cupboard. It was the strange Chinese blend that Miss Grace loved. The one that she drank."
Mr. Vandor nodded wisely. "Oh, that tea. Yes I remember, Grace wanted to try it, Pu'erh tea I believe, Gemini was against it though," he said shooting a sad smile at the sniffling Mrs. Vandor, "thought it was too expensive for such a strange blend of tea. But Grace was stubborn, insisted that she had to try it. Ended up buying a whole box."
Alice nodded and smiled reminiscently. "Yes, Grace was always like that. She always wanted to try new things."
Emmeline sat straighter and grinned. "Remember that one time Grace wanted to see if a house elf would look good wearing a teal dress with bright orange spiked heels?"
Lily, Marlene and Alice laughed and the image of the strangely dressed elf managed to evoke a few smiles from the men too.
Sirius remembered it well.
"Please, please, please?" begged Grace.
The house elf stood steadfast and refused to look her in the eye. "Tubbie doesn't want to wear dress and shoes." The elf said stubbornly.
Grace got down on her knees and clasped her hands pleadingly. "But Tubbie-"
"No!" exclaimed the little elf jumping up and down. "Tubbie will not!"
"I promise you'll be able to keep the clothes! I just need to see how it looks!"
Sirius was standing in the sweltering heat of the kitchen, beads of sweat annoyingly clinging to his forehead. Growling, he advanced at the elf that made a quick escape and ducked under one of the tables.
"Sirius!" yelled Grace appalled, she desperately grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back. "You can't just go after an elf!"
"Watch me." He snarled, glowering menacingly at the elf.
His patience was wearing thin; first he had to stand in the kitchen that was currently resembling an inferno and now the stupid elf wouldn't put the damn clothes on! He knew in the back of his mind that he should actually be mad at Grace, but he couldn't bring himself to be mad at someone like her. Someone so innocent. All she wanted to see was the puny elf wear the dress and shoes, and Sirius would make sure it happened if it was the last thing he did.
"Tubbie will not!" cried the little elf, still hiding under the table. "Tubbie will not, Tubbie will not, Tubbie will not!"
"Come on Sirius," said Grace disappointedly, "let's just go."
Sirius glared at the elf and then turned to Grace. "Are you sure? I could always-"
"No." she interrupted gently. "It's fine. I can't force someone to do things they don't want to."
"It's not a someone," he spat, "it's a thing!"
"Sirius!" cried an admonished Grace. "How can you say that?"
"It's true!" he yelled defensively.
"You say the worst things." Said Grace admonishingly. Sirius opened the kitchen door for her and bowed; as she passed she shot him a scowl.
"Do tell, what do I say that is so 'horrible'?" He asked with a smirk.
"Well you call Severus Snape a 'greasy, slimy git' for one." She listed.
"Hey, he deserves that."
"He is a human being!" she exclaimed. "How can you bully and antagonze a fellow human being, Sirius?"
"The same way the Slytherins antagonize me." He answered gruffly.
"I suppose so, but you do prank them…"
"You're defending the snakes?" he gasped.
She rolled her eyes. "Sirius, you're being dramatic."
"Yes, but you love me for it."
"- And that time she tried to make a potion with only ashwinder eggs and doxy eggs! That was hilarious!"
He snapped back into alertness at the sound of laughter. Free laughter. A sound he hadn't heard in a long time. He looked up from the floor to find Professor McGonagall, the girls, the Marauders and Mr. Vandor laughing, even Mrs. Vandor had managed to crack a watery smile at the tales of Grace's many crazy adventures.
"Yes, she was so bold." Said Lily wistfully. "That was why she was sorted into Gryffindor."
Students, professors and parents alike settled into a thoughtful silence. And Sirius realized something.
"No." he said quietly.
Heads turned to look at him, but he was concentrating on a small flower on the corner of a large Persian rug sitting at his feet. Something that Grace had surely loved. She would have said something crazily silly about that little flower, about how it was brave enough to be alone on that large rug, all by itself, with only paisleys for company. About how sometimes you needed to be brave, because what would the Persian rug have been without that little flower? It would have been incomplete. She would have said that you sometimes had to sacrifice things for the bigger picture. And he knew.
"She was sorted into Gryffindor because she was brave. And you know what, she stayed brave until the end. Until the very end."
He slowly raised his heads and was met with anguished faces. Mr. Vandor looked especially pained and now Mrs. Vandor was sobbing freely, wailing and shaking, tears pouring down her once plump cheeks. She stood up and flew out of the room, tea forgotten, house elves dressed in dresses forgotten, Grace remembered.
Perhaps the thought of Grace would have made Sirius feel happier, the thought of her and her crazy ideas, but instead it brought him pain. Like she had been brought back to life and killed all over again. It was a never-ending cycle.
Sometimes he wished he could forget.
For a little while.
Until the pain stopped eating him away, until the pain stopped killing him. Yes, he was dying on the inside, and if he didn't get a hold of himself, he'd start dying on the outside too.
But honestly, what was the point of living if she wasn't part of his life?
Sirius could see none.
That was why he wished to forget. A simple memory charm, a potion, anything. But then again, there were more permanent things to help him forget. He looked around the room and glanced at a suit of armour, a sword grasped firmly in its metal hands. A wand, forgotten in Mr. Vandor's robes, in Professor McGonagall's hand. It would be so simple. A few words. A few motions. Everything would be over and he would find peace, he would be with her again, forever.
"Sirius."
The gravelly voice of Mr. Vandor dragged Sirius from his suicidal thoughts and he forced himself to look the man in the eye. His pain was reflected in it, ten times more.
"I'd like to speak with you for a minute." The elderly man who had not long ago seemed young and vibrant turned to the others. "Please, drink your tea."
He left the drawing room and Sirius followed suit. They entered a room that Sirius guessed was the study from the extensive accumulation of books and general paper lying around. There was a smaller table in the middle of the room, with a few comfortable chairs clustered around it. But instead of imploring Sirius to sit, Mr. Vandor staggered forward. Feeling alarmed Sirius moved backwards knocking into a bookshelf. He noticed with panic that Mr. Vandor's hand was jammed into his robe, undoubtedly clutching his wand.
Glancing around wildly as Mr. Vandor advanced slowly Sirius realized that there was no escape.
It was over.
The end.
His pathetic existence was about to come to a final stop.
As Mr. Vandor pulled his wand out of his robe Sirius braced himself. Better to embrace death willingly, than to go kicking and screaming.
Why would he scream, after all, he was going back to her.
This was a good thing.
He closed his eyes tightly.
Good-bye.
And hello.
0o0
He waited, and waited some more.
Why had nothing happened?
Sirius was still breathing, his heart was still pumping blood, and it was still beating.
He was supposed to be dead.
Why wasn't he?
Was Mr. Vandor going to torture him first, make him feel the pain of losing your only daughter?
Was that it?
Cracking open one eye he found to his shock that Mr. Vandor was holding in actuality a small, old looking chess piece. A castle to be precise. It wasn't screaming its protests or flailing around so it must have been muggle, but it was beautiful nonetheless. It was off white, most likely ivory, and polished to perfection but Sirius could see small scratches along the sides. It had been well used.
Mr. Vandor stood awkwardly holding it. Unsure of what to do Sirius exhaled quickly; slightly disappointed he wasn't free of his misery.
"I wasn't going to kill you." Said Mr. Vandor quietly. "We don't blame you Sirius." He fingered the chess piece. " We never have. Grace often wrote letters telling us about the many games of chess you two played. If that is true, you must be aware of her soft spot for the castle."
Sirius nodded weakly. Memories of playing chess on cold winter nights and on a few precious spring mornings flooded his brain and he fought to stay alert.
Mr. Vandor held the piece out to Sirius. "Here. You take it, she would have wanted you to have it."
Sirius shook his head vehemently. "I can't." he croaked. "It-it… she would have wanted you to have it."
"Sirius," said Mr. Vandor gravely, "strange as it is, Grace was the happiest she had ever been when she was at Hogwarts, and I have reason to believe, that it was because of you."
Mr. Vandor's bluntness surprised Sirius and for a moment he could only stare at the chess piece, remembering the many occasions on which Grace had idly played with the Castle, holding it with a certain fondness.
"Please Sirius." Said Mr. Vandor. "Just do this for us. Take this piece. We won't be packing Grace's things when we leave and I want you to have something of-"
"You're leaving?"
He nodded sadly. "Yes Sirius, we're leaving. To Bath, Gemini has family there. We obviously can't stay here any longer and I can't bear the thought of moving things in Grace's room."
"Are you selling the house?" he demanded.
"No, we just can't live here."
"When are you going?"
"In a few weeks time. I just want you to have it, I know how much she would have wanted you to keep it." He smiled forlornly. "Don't worry about us, we have some things of hers too, things we couldn't bear to leave behind." He patted his chest and for the first time Sirius noticed a small piece of yarn on which little beads had been strung. The beads were purple and blue with little letters on them, spelling 'GRACE LOVES FATHER'.
And so Sirius took chess piece, gripping it tightly in his sweaty hand, long fingers curling around it protectively.
As Mr. Vandor left the room he placed a hand on Sirius's shoulders.
"We don't blame you Sirius. How could we? You made our daughter the happiest she ever was. It wasn't your fault. It never has been. We're leaving Sirius. We're leaving for good. Maybe… you should try too."
And he was gone.
And Sirius knew that he wasn't talking about leaving the house.
But he'd never be able to leave Grace.
Never.
AN: 10 chapters! What a milestone! Thank you to my lovely reviewers MilliePrue-BellatrixLestrange, katchile94, invisibleink90, Starlight1746 and sparrowflyaway! You guys are amazing and your reviews mean a lot to me! Considering that we have reached 10 chapters I would love it if you guys got me to at least 65 reviews! That is my goal- 65 reviews at chapter 10. If you guys get me to 70 I promise to post the next chapter on Monday! It would mean so much to me if you did this! I thank you all very much!