Author Diddy: Well, this certainly was more work than chapter nine of this monstrosity, but I'm happy with it – the plot's finally getting a move on! Many thousands of apologies for the two month gap between updates!

To all of my reviewers; I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

Also, kisses to both my beta Cassandra, and my hundreth reviewer viv!!

Disclaimer: You stick your right arm in, you stick your right arm out, you stick your right arm in, and you shake it all about, you do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!

Chapter 10 – Nothing to Lose But My Mind

Sleep still heavy in my limbs, I blink as my bed dips with added weight. Crimson eyes swivel to catch my blurry gaze, the corner of his mouth rising. "I have to leave." Warm body cuddling close to my side. "And I figured Deo would prefer not to wake up alone."

"Muh," a yawn interrupting me, I drape an arm over Deo's bare shoulder, "Will you be back tonight?"

Fingers carding through my brother's hair he shrugs, "Not sure, I have an easy raid planned for tonight. There are a few new recruits to replace the ones Deo massacred during the summer."

"Easy?"

"Just a routine muggle raid. I have Bella and Rodolphus taking them to the house of one of Deo's childhood tormentors; Piers, if I'm not mistaken."

"Why not his muggle relatives?"

Halfway to the door Marvolo twists to gaze back at me with an unreadable expression. "He wishes to kill them himself."

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Wind howling through my robes, I swing my legs; one hand gripping the stones beneath me. Too tired to care I hum under my breath as a particularly strong gust tosses my untied hair up around my head. Mama and Papa would kill me if they knew I was risking my safety to sit on the ledge of the Astronomy tower simply for the view and solitude, and Draco, Draco would close his eyes and sigh before hopping up to join me. Marvolo . . .

Heart clenching with loss I sniff, a single tear escaping from the corner of my eye. Now, two weeks into the new year, I had settled fairly well into the Slytherin circles. Being a Malfoy really did help with that. All the new students were awed by my name. So like the Boy-Who-Lived shit I've put up with my entire life.

No matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you're still just a freak boy.

Shake my head in denial. It wasn't true, the Malfoys – they loved me? Didn't they? Why else would they have taken me in, named me as their own, and put up with me all summer?

They're using you, just like you're using them. Selfish little freak, using those proud, wealthy people to escape from yourself. Can't do anything on your own, can you?

Door creaking behind me I twist to stare as a group of Sixth Years fills the space behind me. Picking out a few familiar faces I alter my seat on the ledge so I face them. "What do you want?" I say, breaking the heavy silence.

"Tired of having your adoptive brother protect you little Malfoy?" one spits.

"He wasn't, Draco was helping me to adjust to the school and crowds."

Liar, you know he was watching your sorry ass.

"Did the ferret's father kill your parents as part of a raid? Is that why he took you in, to keep you from spilling his secrets to the Ministry?"

"The Dark Lord killed -"

"Oh? The Dark Lord is it? Taking on to your new family's path so soon?" Fingers tighten on the ledge as they begin to advance on me.

"Do you spend the nights having tea and biscuits with You-Know-Who?" Cold, haughty words spewed from the lips of some I had called friend last year I flinch.

I like these kids, even if they are freaks like you, at least they know you're worse than they are.

"Or maybe, you bend over and take it like a good little Death Eater whore?"

Ha! they know you're nothing but a good for nothing slut!

Trembling I struggle to keep myself in the now, memories clamoring for my attention. Memories of the times before, when I'd heard similar words spat at me in disgust. Eyes squeezed shut I whisper, "Don't say that."

"What, that you take it up the arse? That you're a whore for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

Slut! Freakish little whore!

"I'm not a whore," tears burning my cheeks I peer through the blurs at my new tormentors. Wind picking up around me I gaze blankly at them. "I'm not a whore," I repeat.

Mouth curling in disgust, one of them snaps, "Then are you a slut? Giving it up for free?"

Little whore! Freak! Worthless boy, too good for anyone! Selfish! Always getting those you love killed because of your own stupidity!

Purple faced behemoth looming before me, distorting the jeering students, I shriek in fear. Arms rising on their own accord to shield my face I wail, "I don't want to remember! Please, please go away!" Ignoring my pleas a meaty hand yanks my head up using a fistful of my hair. Heedless of the punishment I know I'll receive I claw at the grip on my person. "Let me go!" Nails and fists connecting with me I writhe, not willing to give in to him. Never again will I allow him to touch me.

World swimming I moan as my skull cracks against the stonework, blackness rushing to smother me before the memories can.

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Blackness peeling back slowly I moan. Feels like I've been trampled by rampaging Hippogriffs.

"You cannot be serious Albus - my son was maliciously attacked by other students, and you still refuse him the extra protection his bodyguard Ra could give him."

"Lucius, I cannot be seen giving special privileges to random students."

"Cannot, or will not Headmaster? You certainly have no issues giving Mr. Potter these 'special privileges'."

Papa seems angry for some reason. His voice was tight and clipped, much like it was when I freed Dobby from him after the Basilisk.

"Harry is different Lucius -"

"Like sodding hell he is! If you refuse to aid me in protecting my children I will remove them both from your 'care'," sharp rap of his cane against the floor, "and with them goes my funding for this establishment."

"Now, now Lucius, there's no need to be hasty."

Whimper as I blink, the lights of the hospital wing stabbing at my retinas. Cool gloved fingers brush across my cheek as Papa's face fills my blurry vision. "I am not being hasty, my children are my life Headmaster and I will see them safe." Pressing a kiss to my hidden scar he whispers, "I am sorry you had to endure those student's hostilities little Deo."

Struggle against the covers binding my arms I freeze as his bloated, red face floats over Papa's shoulder. Hospital wing dancing madly around me I fall free of the bed as the face, and the fists associated with it dart at me. Scrambling to my feet I whirl around, hundreds of him leering at me. "Oh no, no, no, no," I moan, trying to find a way to escape from the circle trapping me. Hands covering my mouth to hold in a scream I jerk away from one of them as he goes to touch me.

Leather covered fingers dance lightly over my shoulder, snapping me back into the present – he never wore gloves when he touched me. Concerned silver eyes watch me silently as I stare at him. "I am taking him down to Severus and Draco, and then we shall discuss this Headmaster." Eyes never leaving mine he holds both of his hands out to me, "Come little Deo, let's get you back to the dungeons." Giving me a soft smile he drops his cane into my hands and sweeps me up into his arms. Lock my legs around his waist, cane held behind his back, as he heads for the doors. "You alright with me carrying you Deo?"

Bury me face against his neck, breathing in his unique scent of vanilla and mint, and shake my head, "Isn't it a bit out of character for you Papa?"

"Can't always be the feared-supposed-Death Eater," low chuckle, "plus, I do believe it is time for a bit of a persona change. Marvolo has been reviewing his goals for the future, and he wishes for us Malfoys to be seen as slightly more approachable then we have been."

Ache blossoming in my chest I sigh against his neck, "Where has he been Papa?"

Shifting me in his arms he enters the main halls of Hogwarts, pointedly ignoring the sudden silence from previously chattering students. "He has been busy little Deo, but I brought Ra with me when I heard of your attack."

"Is he?"

Mouth curving into a brilliant smile he nods, "Yes, I left him with Severus and Draco while I dealt with the Headmaster." Unable to help myself I bounce a bit in Papa's hold, drawing an amused chuckle from his throat. "You, my son, are entirely too light, whatever have you been eating?"

"Er," cheeks burning I hide my eyes against his shoulder.

Steps halting Papa dumps me on my feet, arching a brow at me, "Deomor Frei Malfoy, did your mother and I not make ourselves clear prior to you leaving? You are to eat child. No more of this not eating for days." Ruffling my hair he mutters, "I certainly do not want to explain to that dratted Molly Weasley why my son is a living skeleton; so, if you don't mind, eat something at every meal."

Bob my head in understanding, don't want to make him mad at me – or Molly mad at him. Malfoy smirk on his lips I screech when I find myself tossed over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Empty fist pounding at his back I holler, "Papa! This is most undignified! Put me down this instant!" Push against his ribs, flicking my eyes over the slack jawed students behind us I spot Professor McGonagall with her hand to her mouth, attempting to hide the shocked amusement beneath it. "I'll tell Mama on you if you don't put me down!" Kind laughter my only answer I grunt and drop my head to rest just above his tail bone.

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Snickering from my sprawl in Sev's lap I watch as my father carries Deo into the room. Feet kicking lightly he squirms to be set free. Rising from his chair, Marvolo strides up to the both of them. Fingertips dancing up Deo's legs he leans forward, pressing a chaste kiss over Father's lips. "Thank you Lucius," whispered across the mouth beneath his he lifts my brother from Father's shoulder.

Inclining his head our father sighs, "I go to fight the Headmaster over allowing Deo a guard, even after he's been attacked by fellow students for his name."

Well meant wishes following his back I settle more comfortably in Sev's lap. "Marvolo? Why is it that you often gift Father and Severus with kisses?"

Lifting his shoulders he nuzzles at Deo's neck, teeth raking over the pale flesh. "Habit little Dragon." Mouthes meeting in a smoldering kiss the two clutch at each other.

"Habit?" Sev's fingers were tangling in my hair, prompting me to shift.

"Mm, when I first rose to power they were my closest servants." Crimson eyes lift from his lover to trap me with their gaze, "If I asked it of them, they shared my bed after revels." Lift my eyes to my lover's, seeing his words confirmed in those fathomless black orbs. "Prior to my corruption we had managed to forge a bond of inseparable friendship beneath the trappings of formality. They were the reason I maintained my sanity for so long a time after all my delving into the Dark Arts, but in the end even they could not stop my descent."

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With my cane gripped in my hands I perch on the edge of one the Headmaster's chair-like monstrosities. It has been over an hour since I left Deo down in the dungeons. An hour of pointless arguing on both our behalves. I wanted Deo to have a guard, Dumbledore did not, and that seemed to be all we could agree on. Pause and sigh, opening my mouth to give the coot yet another reason why allowing my son to have personal guard was the only sane thing to do, when the door to his office opens. Turn away from the old man to find McGonagall with her arms folded over her chest.

"Honestly Albus, it isn't like the child's guard would be attacking students in his spare time," flicker of kindness directed at me, she had seen me carrying him through the halls and seemed to like this new side of the haughty Malfoy family, "and, I do believe the poor waif should have someone to watch out for him, in case the other students don't understand the position we take on attacking unarmed students."

"Minerva, he put three of the group into Pomfrey's care for a day, you cannot possibly -"

Sharp stamp of her feet silencing him she snaps, "Albus, you're a wonderful Headmaster, but even I know that young Malfoy's magic was only trying to protect him from more injury. It isn't as though the three will be suffering permanent damage from their injuries." Waving a hand in my direction she maintains eye contact with her superior. "In fact, as Deputy Headmistress, I insist that we allow the boy his guard. Unlike his brother Draco, Deomor is fragile. Lucius only wants what is best for him, and I'll stand by his request should we have to take it to the Ministry to get you to give the boy protection."

Gaze at the Gryffindor with something akin to shock in my eyes. You would stand by me now McGonagall, but what if you knew the identity of the boy's guardian? What if you learned that Ra is not merely my son's protection? If you found out who Deo really was.

Hands folded Albus stares at me with those blue eyes, anger lurking within them. "I assume it shall be the man I saw him with at the Weasley home?"

You hate me, I can see it in your gaze. What's one less Malfoy to this world? Right? "Yes, Ra is his name."

"Will you require him to remain by Deomor's side at all times?"

Do you suspect their relationship? "As close to that as possible; Ra is a capable flier should Deo decide to take to a broomstick, and an expert at sinking into the background. I trust he will not upset any of the Professors by sitting in on Deo's lessons."

"And his glasses?"

Ah yes, the glasses, you wanted to see his eyes. To know what he was looking at. To gage his emotions. "If I ask it of him he will agree to not wear them while inside the castle; the sunlight truly does irritate his eyes." Too much of the Dark Arts had made Marvolo more attuned to the darkness then light. More willing to move while the moon bathed the world in her softer radiance. It had corrupted him, taken the man I had grown to love from me in one fell swoop – made him into a monster the whole world feared.

"Tell me Lucius, am I correct in assuming that you brought him with you this afternoon?"

Incline my head in agreement.

"Very well, tell the man that he may stay. I shall alert the house-elves to him and have an extra bed added to the boy's room."

"My thanks Headmaster." Bow my head as I rise, bursting to tell the others the news.

"May I join you Lucius, I wished to speak with you."

Arch my brow at McGonagall, she wished to speak with me? Was that her reason for coming to the Headmaster's office? "Of course, we may talk as we walk, if that is alright with you? I wish to check up on both of my sons as soon as possible."

"Not a problem Lucius, although I must say, that was quite a stunt you pulled earlier in the halls. Never thought I'd live to see the day Lucius Malfoy unbent and carried his son through Hogwarts."

Warm chuckle escaping me I shrug, "Deomor is good for us."

"Indeed he is," soft touch of her fingers on my arm, "You are good for him too, I haven't seen him smile and laugh this much since his first year here." Missed step, did I just hear that? "Keep moving Lucius, you heard me correctly." Oh Merlin. "By mistake I overheard one of Deo's breakdowns early this week, before Draco could silence him he mentioned his former family, and I made an educated guess. I've told no one, but I would like to tell him that I support his choices."

"Do you?" Reach Severus' chambers, fist raised to knock, waiting for her nod. Opening the hidden door as she nods, I guide her over to an unoccupied chair. Resealing his wards Severus adds his stare to the other three locked on me. Ignoring the Potions Master, I turn my eyes to Marvolo, "She knows."