DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN NARUTO. THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, KISHIMOTO?!
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I heard the teardrop hit my pillow before I even knew I was crying.
~Amborella Oltre
"Then let me be pathetic for loving someone enough that I would allow a sadistic bastard like Hidan to cut off three of my fingers because I tried to save them! Let me be pathetic for wanting to die because I thought the girl I loved had died as well! Let me be pathetic if it means that I have feelings!"
Sakura woke when her old friend began to yell, but kept her eyes closed, wishing for a few more minutes of sleep. That wish immediately went away when she heard what he'd said.
Deidara... did that for me?
"I suppose from your point of view I'm pathetic. I can see that. And you're right, I'm remorseless. But that's why I'm able to kill like I can. From your point of view I am pathetic. But who's more pathetic? The man who grew up without parents and love as a result? Or you? Remember this, Deidara: even after hearing of her death you chose to stay with Akatsuki. Why? Because you're not only pathetic, you're a coward." Sasori was twisting the knife in the wound, even as he was leaving him standing in front of the woman he loved and lost. "If you'd left, you would have been hunted down and killed, and would surely have seen her again. You say you wanted to die, so why didn't you?"
No.
He's not a coward.
Living for two years thinking your loved one was dead isn't cowardice.
It's strength.
What he must have been put through... The tears began to leak out, hard as she tried to suppress them without letting the two men know she was awake.
She'd hated him without knowing the whole story for two years that couldn't be replaced.
She was... such an idiot.
She pulled Kasumi close with her good arm, her injured wrist throbbing, even as she heard the one Deidara had called Sasori leave. Then, so softly she almost couldn't hear-
"I'm sorry, Sakura."
She held back a fresh wave of tears until she heard the door click shut quietly, then let the tears come pouring out.
---
One month later
Sasori groaned as the little brat began to cry again. She'd already been there a month already, and should have been used to waking up in the dark by now, but every single time she woke up, it was the same thing all over again.
He placed the crook of his elbow over his eyes to shield them from the dim morning sunlight filtering through the sheer white curtain and groaned.
He hated the arrangements they'd had to made for their two permanent houseguests.
He and Deidara were in the living room, him on the couch, Deidara on the floor. Sasori hated the couch. It was saggy and the springs poked into his sides and other uncomfortable places he wouldn't mention. Still, it was better than the floor, which could have had who-knows-what on it knowing men -though he himself was a man, he considered himself higher than others of his gender. He wasn't taking that chance. What irked him though, was that Deidara hadn't whined once about the floor. Sasori had deliberately claimed the couch, hoping to get a rise out of him, and all Deidara had done was nod and give him a small smile.
That had really taken the fun out of the couch.
That and the fact that Deidara acted like he knew exactly what had happened on it, and didn't care much to sleep on it -or even sit on it for that matter. That was more than enough to make Sasori rather wary, and he now tried to avoid making skin contact with the cushions. So of course Deidara had noticed and his amusement had only grown. Sasori wanted to strangle him.
One of the two remaining bedrooms had been cleared out for use as a holding cell for the rich people they were still kidnapping about once a month or so. They'd reduced it from one every couple of weeks to suit their reduced numbers (courtesy of Deidara). Sasori hadn't let him forget about it either. The reduced number of kidnappings meant less income and therefore less food. So Sasori had decided that their permanent houseguests would be the ones suffering from the budget cuts, to Deidara's displeasure.
Kisame and Itachi were sharing a room, to Deidara's amusement, and at first, Sasori hadn't understood why he'd thought it was so funny until he began to hear some really suspicious thumping noises late at night. After that, he'd tried to be in as deep a sleep as possible when night came.
Which the brat ruined every time.
He growled murderously when she screamed as loudly as she could, deliberately, of that he was certain.
There was a thud and she quieted suddenly.
Probably Sakura.
Quieting down the brat was the only thing she could do properly around the apartment. He always hated that soft knock she used to signal that she or her spawn needed to use the restroom. He hated her weakness, her dependence, her hair (which was now pink at the roots and looked absolutely ridiculous), and that polite tone she used when she spoke to any of the other Akatsuki members (but not Deidara. He wasn't going to allow those two to speak to each other- ever).
He considered briefly about having the brat dropped off a bridge, but doing so might make both Deidara and Sakura cause trouble for his organization, and he couldn't have that. He liked things the way they were, he wasn't about to let anyone mess it up.
---
Sakura fell off the edge of the daybed, not for the first time since her captivity, surprised into wakefulness by a scream from Kasumi.
"Kasu, sweetie, what's wrong?" she asked, rubbing her elbow, which had somewhat broken her fall.
Kasumi didn't reply, and Sakura couldn't tell if she'd made any motions with her head in the blackness of the room.
They weren't allowed to turn on the light (couldn't, actually, they'd taken the bulb out of the light fixture), so anything they did in the room had to be done in the dark. Not that it was difficult, considering that the daybed was the only furniture they could possibly have hurt themselves on.
"Kasumi?" she asked again, dragging herself in the direction of the door.
"I- I- I'm" Kasumi was crying, making herself hard to understand. "H- h- hungry, Sak- Sakuraaaaaa!" the girl wailed.
"I know, I know. I'm hungry too." As if to emphasize her point, her stomach growled loudly.
They were fed twice a day, always balogna sandwiches and milk. Never anything else. Frankly, both of them were sick of eating that every day, and would certainly never touch them when they finally got out.
Which would hopefully be soon.
She knew Deidara came in while she was 'asleep' and she knew Sasori wouldn't allow the two of them to talk, so she always feigned sleep.
Lately, he'd been concocting a plan to get them out, but it would mean he would have to kill the other members of Akatsuki, and he hated killing. She could hear it in his voice. Could feel it in the shaky touches he granted her.
He wanted her to be free badly enough to kill.
She hoped he wouldn't.
He'd become a killer for her twice now. She felt, deep down, that if he killed for her again, he'd lose himself.
He'd never be her Deidara again.
And she couldn't bear the thought. She'd thought she'd lost him once. She wasn't going to lose him again for real. Not while she was around.
"I'll see if I can get us some more food." Sakura said gently, motioning for Kasumi to seat herself on the bed.
It's pointless. Sasori hates us already, there's no way he'd give us more food.
Sighing, Sakura rapped softly at the door and waited.
One mississippi...
Two mississippi...
Three mississippi...
Four-
There was a thud and a muffled curse as someone tripped on something in the room beyond, probably the coffee table. Sakura snorted, wondering who it was, then stopped when the door was flung open to reveal a very angry Sasori.
Oh, shit. Not him.
Anyone but Sasori would have given them some extra food, knowing how Deidara felt. But Sasori, Sasori was different than the others in the group, which had had its numbers nearly pared in half. Knowing this did not make Sakura any less fearful of the red-haired man, who was now giving her an intensely unpleasant expression.
"What could you or the brat possibly need now?" Sasori growled from beneath tightly clenched teeth.
Whoops.
Sakura gulped before managing to choke out, "Kasumi is hungry. Is there any-"
"No, there isn't any way I'd give you some extra food. You'll be fed at noon and again at five as always."
Sakura gave him a piercing look, unsure how it was possible that the normally emotionless man was this angry. She had never seen him show a display of any sort of emotion, yet in less than five minutes, he had shown anger. Now that was interesting.
Sasori gave her one last parting glance before slamming the door behind him, making Sakura jump.
Behind her, Kasumi began to cry again, and this time, Sakura didn't try to quell the tears. If Kasumi crying was what set Sasori on edge and got him riled up, it was all the better. Anything that made Sasori angry was fine in her book, because Sakura was used to Kasumi crying, and could sleep through it if she wished. If Sasori hadn't learned how to yet, well... he was gonna have to learn.
---
Deidara entered the apartment wearily, shuffling his feet, eyes half-lidded with sleep-deprivation and fatigue. He kicked off his tennis shoes, not caring where they landed, then sat down heavily on the floor in front of the couch, hands resting on knees.
"Tired, eh?" Sasori's cold voice asked from the couch Deidara was currently leaning back against. He opened one eye with difficulty and gave Sasori his best fuck-off look.
Kisame appeared suddenly from his and Itachi's shared bedroom, panting heavily and only wearing his boxers.
"Oh, hey, Dei. Didn't realize you were back. How'd it go?" Kisame asked, opening the refridgerator and pulling out two bottles of Coca-Cola, one for him, and one for Itachi.
"Exhausting. I ended up having to kill the bastard because he wouldn't come quietly. Then, his fucking wife had to wake up and start screaming her fucking lungs out and I had to knock her out. Then I had to get away from their dipshit of a security guard because he came into the room with that idiotic dog of theirs. So, mission failed. I'll get one of the kids tomorrow. I'm beat." Deidara sighed heavily, running his left hand through his hair absentmindedly.
"You're turning into another Hidan, kid." Kisame said, grinning crookedly. "You cuss almost as often as he did."
"Don't mention that bastard ever again. I will never forgive him." Deidara hissed, both eyes suddenly open and narrowed in anger.
"Whoa, hey, just sayin. Can't have an opinion around you, can I?" The older man rolled his eyes and went back to the haven of the bedroom.
"Not about him, you can't." Deidara growled, unclenching his fists. His right hand twinged and, for a moment, Deidara saw Hidan's laughing face as he swung the machete down-
"You've made a serious error tonight, Deidara." Sasori told him gravely. "Missing the target? That's going to cost you."
"Hey, I fucking tried okay? Everyone makes mistakes." The blonde told his ex-partner defensively.
"Trying amounts to nothing. What matters is that you've failed. This will set us back to where we were last month. The bitch and her brat are going to have to settle for one meal a day now, because of your mistake." Sasori waited, to see what Deidara's reaction would be. Deidara had protested when Sasori had announced they were to have only two meals a day. Now two meals was being reduced to a single meal a day, and Deidara had seen, just as well as the others, that both Sakura and Kasumi were underweight. Sakura moreso than Kasumi, and both men knew why. Sakura was giving most of her share of the food to her daughter.
"Don't. You. Dare." Deidara hissed, turning and placing his face dangerously close to Sasori's. "You know she'll die if you do that, she cares that much about her daughter."
"What does it matter to me? I don't care about them. But you, Deidara, you do. Now, either go back and retrieve that widow immediately, or the new meal schedule will begin."
"Fine."
Sasori watched as Deidara stood stiffly and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door closed with unnecessary force. It really was too easy to get him to obey. All he had to do was threaten the two females in the next room, and the bomber would do anything he wished.
Which reminded him of the look that Sakura had given him earlier. That look, that look of knowing that had suddenly flashed across her face just before he left her in there. It unnerved him. It was as if she had seen something she hadn't realized was there before. It had been eating at him all day, especially after the brat had begun to cry again after his departure and she hadn't tried to stop the crying. Sasori had eventually had to leave the apartment to escape the highpitched screams of the brat.
She had seen something.
But what?
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A/N: My interest in this story is beginning to flag. I updated because I noticed I haven't in a month, and that's a long wait for some people. But it may be just as long again for the next chapter, so stick with me, I'm gonna try and wrap it up soon. If you have any ideas, PLEASE tell me. R&R as well to let me know you still wanna see how it ends.