Ben rings the doorbell and shoves his hands in his pockets, suddenly self-conscious. In his excitement to see Rey again, he'd somehow managed to sort of forget that she lives with his uncle, and the man never passes up an opportunity to give him shit.
"Ah, the dark knight has returned for his princess," is Luke's amused greeting as he opens the door.
"Knock it off," Ben grumbles, face flushing.
"Well I know it isn't me you've come to visit." Ben wants to tell him that he would come to visit if Luke weren't such an ass all of the time, but he doesn't. It isn't true anyway. His uncle is annoying, true, but Ben doesn't visit because he himself is an ass, and he's been harboring a grudge towards his uncle ever since he refused to take him in. He'd asked to live with Luke every time he ran away, and every time Luke told him that he needed to stay and work things out with his parents.
His parents who were never home.
Luke had tried to explain it, that he and Ben's mother had become very invested in activism during college, that she worked hard to make improvements to a system that she believed was broken, and that she did it all for Ben's sake, so he'd have a better future.
And his father...well, his father had always been restless, either in the military or traveling, and he wasn't one who could be stationary for long periods of time. He called Ben every day, mostly on Skype, and he was home for weeks at a time on occasion, but it wasn't enough.
They didn't have to work, but they did, and often. They could be spending more time with him but they weren't.
Meanwhile, Luke became a philanthropist and did volunteer work. He took in Rey and made time for her.
Ben wasn't jealous, he just wished his uncle wasn't so stubbornly set on making him stay with his parents. Or that his parents would maybe take a page out of Luke's book.
"It's good to see you Ben." His uncle sounded more sincere now, but it was fleeting as he patted Ben's shoulder and said, "She's upstairs in her room. Go get her lover boy."
Rey changes out of her school clothes into something more comfortable. Jean shorts, a plain olive-green t-shirt, and her hair pulled into a messy bun.
When Ben arrives, he knocks gently on the door to her bedroom and she lets him in.
He looks around, taking in the bare walls and minimalist decoration. She has white sheets on her bed, a blue quilt, sheer beige curtains over the windows. Luke had told her to make the space her own, but the only personal belonging in it besides her clothes and makeup, are the flowers that Leia gave her.
She hadn't wanted to personalize the space yet. Personalizing it would make her get attached, and it wasn't hers. At least, not until Luke adopted her, and then maybe she'd feel more comfortable adding her own flair.
Ben doesn't say anything about it, he just sits on the foot of her bed, uncertainly, like he isn't sure if he should.
It reminds her of the last time a boy sat on her bed. Finn had made himself at home, before they'd come up with their brilliant plan to fictitiously bone at Sabines party.
Rey wonders why Ben isn't comfortable there, wonders if she should suggest they go somewhere else, but he seems to relax when she sits down in her desk chair and not on the bed with him.
Is he worried she might jump him?
The thought of sitting in his lap had made a brief appearance in her mind before she'd shut it down with logic.
He's a friend, she reminded herself. No matter if she got herself off at night thinking about him, in the real-world Ben was only a friend.
And he'd come here to talk, hadn't he?
"Thanks for coming," she tells him, breaking the awkward silence.
"No problem," he tells her with a shrug. He's wearing black again, forearms resting on his legs, but he is without his leather jacket today and she can see the pale skin of his arms. He reminds her of a James Dean type, the iconic bad boy, the rebel without a cause. It's sexy.
And very distracting.
"What happened?" He asks her when she hasn't said anything else for a moment, and she smiles, because at his core, Ben is a good guy too.
"Where do I even start?" She wonders, more to herself than to him, "After the rumors started, about me and Finn and then me and...y'know, you," she adds, blushing, "The stories kept getting bigger. And I couldn't deny them, not the ones about Finn at least, and no one believed me when I tried to deny the others, so I thought I'd just accept it." She scrunches her nose, realizing how it all sounds rather lame.
"We're reading a story in my English class, about a woman who was made an outcast for committing adultery. She was publicly shamed and forced to wear a red A on her clothes but she took her punishment and, in the end, everyone realized they were wrong about her and backed the fuck off."
He hasn't said anything, he's just listening, and watching her. His eyes are so expressive that she can almost see the thoughts behind them. She can see that he's worried about her, that he has a sincere interest in what she's saying. He's so intently focused on her that she feels her heart skip a beat, buoyed by his rapt attention.
"So, I've been wearing the A to school to make a statement, but it hasn't had the desired effect. Yesterday Mitaka offered me money to let him spread a rumor about me and him. I took it," she admits, regretfully, not meeting his eyes. "He was going to spread it anyway, I thought at least I could try and control the narrative, and get something out of it in return, but..." she shrugs, her eyes narrowing angrily, "He told a much different story than the one we agreed on."
Ben stiffens and sits up, "I will kick his ass for you, if you want." His tone is dangerous and completely serious.
Rey feels her breath catch in her throat, her heart picking up in an unsteady patter, thrilling at his words, at his offer to do that for her. Again.
But, "He isn't worth it."
Ben looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn't, he just nods and waits for her to continue.
"A lot of other people are saying that I was with them too now," she tells him, "And then someone vandalized my locker, and Mr. Griffith said that even he has heard the stories. And worst of all, since everyone heard from Mitaka that I do things for money now, I had some offers. Not for pretend stories but real ones. Really shitty ones."
Getting all of this out has begun to stir up feelings of hurt and disgust. Not only at others, but at herself. It's made her feel raw, abraded.
"I think everyone hates me," she says quietly, "Or they see me as someone they can use. Truth is, I'm starting not to like myself very much either."
She feels herself tearing up, and wipes her eyes on her shirt sleeve. "You must think I'm very stupid for this," she says, sniffling.
His reply is immediate and entirely honest, "No. I think you're amazing."
Ben surprises even himself with his boldness, but he doesn't take it back. Instead he seems to feel unexpectedly bolstered by it, using it as a spring to propel himself into saying more absolutely crazy-but no less true-things.
"I shouldn't have fucking said that shit to you when we met, I'm sorry. But you're not stupid, Rey. You're perfect."
Watching her like this, he wonders if any of what he had said to her on the first day of school had made her feel this way. He wants to kick his own ass for it. "Anyone who doesn't think so is a fucking idiot, and all the poorer for having never known you."
Rey is crying in earnest now, tears falling freely down her face. Ben might have panicked, thinking he'd fucked up or something, but she's smiling at him. "Thanks, Ben." She sounds so moved, her voice so full of gratitude, as if hearing that from him was something she'd needed. He can't imagine why, but he doesn't question her about it, instead he says something really, really stupid.
"Rey, if I promise not to tell anyone, could I kiss you right now?"
To his immense surprise she doesn't yell at him to get out of her room.
She nods and gets out of her chair.
To sit next to him on the bed.
He swallows, a few moments ago the thought of being this close to her, in her room, on her bed, had made him timid. He'd never been in a girl's room before, and it somehow felt off limits, like it was her space and he was invading it. Not to mention the inconvenient boner that had appeared at the sight of her legs in those shorts, and if she sat near him she might notice.
But fuck, now he was going to kiss her.
Thankfully, his nervousness over his inexperience with kissing keeps his anatomy from getting too excited about it. He has no idea how to do what he is about to do, but he scans his eyes over Rey's face, taking in her expectant expression, her tear stained cheeks. He reaches up to cup the side of her face with his hand, brushing a tear away with his thumb. Magnetically, he slowly drifts towards her lips, finding that he couldn't pull away even if he wanted to.
He really doesn't want to, though.
He wants to kiss her until she forgets every asshole they go to school with, until she knows how important she is.
His lips meet hers, just a light press at first, soft and slow, testing the sensation of it.
There is a wave of warmth that rises, it tingles and fills every corner of his body, all of his senses full of her. She tastes like lemonade, smells like fruit, the skin of her cheek beneath his hand is soft and warm. He wishes he could touch more of her skin, but he isn't about to be greedy, thankful for this unexpected and very much welcome opportunity to touch her, to taste her at all.
It is just a brief touch of his lips to hers, but it is possibly the most significant moment of his life. He pulls back slightly to look at her, grinning like an idiot. She is grinning too, but then she closes the space between them again, with her mouth on his.
He doesn't taste like cigarettes. He tastes like mint toothpaste and Ben, but she only gets a brief sample of it before he pulls away. He grins at her, and she grins back, but she isn't done with him yet. She wants more.
His hand is still on her face, and she brings hers up to run it through his soft hair, her lips on his again. This time, it's more than just a press. Rey's kiss is more insistent, more seeking, her lips dance over his, and she parts them, running her tongue over his bottom lip, seeking entrance to his mouth. When he grants it, she caresses his tongue with hers, trying to find a rhythm.
It's a sloppy thing at first, teeth bumping, tongues uncertain, but what they lack in experience they make up for in ardency and, soon enough, they've found a balance that works, a sweet give and take that makes them melt into each other.
Rey has never felt anything more perfect than his hair as she runs her fingers through it, the electric feeling of being kissed breathless, his tongue exploring every nuance of her mouth, and hers doing the same in his.
When they finally pull apart to catch their breath, they rest their foreheads together. Ben tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.
"You're so beautiful, Rey," he whispers.
In an instant, she captures his lips again.
This time, when Rey draws him back into another mind-blowing kiss, a soft groan escapes his throat. Somehow, the sound seems to inspire her, and the kiss she gives him has a little more heat, becomes a little hungrier than the last. He returns it with every bit of his own fire.
Their position becomes awkward though, and is soon uncomfortable. Rey sits up on her knees, leaning over him now, bringing both of her hands to the back of his head and burying them in his hair. Unsure of what to do with his own hands, he drops them to Rey's hips, and she throws one of her legs over his, straddling him.
Oh fuck.
This is teetering dangerously on the precipice between something that is just a kiss and what is something more. Already his hands are itching to pull her hips down until she is flush against him, to move her against his erection in a bid for friction. Or perhaps go higher, to palm at her breasts and feel her nipples pebble under his hands.
But he doesn't do any of those things, Rey seems to have caught on to their plight and reluctantly, yet mercifully, breaks the kiss.
For a brief moment she stares down at him, and he stares up at her, pointedly trying to ignore the fact that if he were to look down, he'd be confronted with the very appealing visual of her tits being right in his face.
"That was very nice..." she says breathlessly, moving off of him.
He'd like to protest that, bring her back and run his hands all over her body, but he smiles instead, taking in her breathless, awed expression.
"It was," he agrees.
They are silent for a moment, the sound of their heavy breathing filling the room. Ben's mind is a fog of happy bliss, but one thought pokes through the haze, and he can't help but ask her, "Can we do it again sometime?"
She grins, and he has at least enough presence of mind to feel a fresh blaze of adoration towards her.
"Definitely," she answers, which leaves only the question of when, and Ben reckons he might have a good answer.
"Can I pick you up from school tomorrow?"
Rey agrees to let Ben pick her up, and then she walks him down the stairs. Neither can wipe the smile from their faces, and she thinks she sees Luke in her periphery smiling too.
He asks Ben if he'd like to stay for dinner, but Ben mentions that his dad is home and he's going out with his family tonight.
At Ben's car she gives him a hug, and kisses his cheek. She's certain that if she kisses him again it won't be so easy to let him leave.
"See you tomorrow," she says, and he gives her an adorable crooked smile.
"Later," he tells her, and as she turns to walk back towards the house, she can almost swear she sees the curtains move, as if someone (namely Luke) had been peeking through them.
She doesn't even care.