Ellie glanced up at the knock on her door, setting her Savage Starlight comic aside. "Come in," she called to the unseen person on the other side, and Joel stepped into the bedroom. The angle of the fading sunlight threw his face in sharp contrast, one side completely shadowed while the light deepened the concerned lines and furrow of his brow on the other side, making him look ten years older.
"Something wrong?" Ellie titled her head as Joel sat at the foot of the mattress, making it dip.
"I should be asking you. You haven't left your bedroom since you came back from the barn at lunch," he returned.
Ellie's eyebrows drew together, mimicking Joel's concerned expression. Have I really been up here for that long? she thought, feeling the urge to draw her hoodie higher as Joel's gaze rested on her neck. "No, everything's fine. Jason just let me go early and I had nothing else to do," she said unconvincingly, biting her lip.
"Does it have anything to do with those scratches on your neck?" Joel gestured to the tiny, red semicircles marking where Jason had dug his fingernails into her skin.
Ellie self-consciously rubbed at her neck, as if it would make the scratches go away. She dropped her gaze, anxiety twisting her gut as she realized what it had to look like to Joel. In fact, she could see his shoulders tense as the silence between them wore on, like he was getting ready to pull out the pistol she knew he had tucked into his waistband, and beat Jason bloody with it before possibly shooting him.
"It's not what it looks like. He didn't 'get mad' at me, if that's what you're thinking," Ellie answered the unspoken question between them, remembering their conversation about Jason a little while ago.
"So he tried to choke you in a friendly way, is that it?" Joel narrowed his eyes at her, his dry sarcasm laced with a hint of impatience, like he had already made up his mind to beat Jason and was just waiting for her to finish talking so he could throw the first punch.
Ellie shook her head vigorously, trying to find the words to explain the situation to him. But then something dawned on her; she couldn't tell Joel anything without revealing Ian's map, and Jason's plans about going to see Riley. She fidgeted nervously, dropping her gaze.
"Ellie." Joel said sharply, snapping her head up, reminding her that he was still waiting for an explanation. Ellie opened her mouth and closed it, her brain working feverishly on something that would deter Joel from beating Jason to a pulp, and still keep both his and Ian's secret safe.
"We were making out," Ellie finally blurted.
Joel's borderline furious expression went slack with disbelief, the tension in his muscles giving way, making his shoulders drop. "You were making out?" Joel repeated, eyes skeptical. One eyebrow lifted, silently asking for elaboration. Ellie wasn't sure if he fully believed her, but she wasn't going to let Joel's momentary shock pass without taking advantage of it.
"Yeah, we were fooling around in the hayloft, and Jason got a little rough. That's all," Ellie shrugged casually, hoping she had distracted Joel enough from his anger to make him believe her.
She could see the cogs turning in Joel's brain as he regarded her with ever-present skepticism. Ellie kept her expression as calm as possible, eyebrows just slightly lifted in what she hoped looked like honesty, refusing to let the anxiety lapping at her insides make her shoulders hunch.
"Did you tell Jason you were infected before you started making out with him?" Joel queried, cocking his head to one side.
Shit, Ellie swore. "I…I made sure we weren't French-kissing, so you know…we couldn't swap spit or anything," she quickly recovered, nodding like she was trying to convince herself.
Joel slowly bobbed his head, pursing his lips as he mulled over her words. Eventually he said without a smile, "S'long as you're being smart about it."
Ellie expected him to leave, but he didn't. She watched him tap his fingers on his thigh, like he wasn't quite convinced or he wanted to say something else, she couldn't tell which. "What is it?" she ventured to ask.
Joel worked his jaw, the sunset tinging his black beard a deep orange. "I know I mentioned this before, but you're spending a lot of time at the barn," he remarked, his words hesitant and halting like he wasn't quite sure how to approach the new topic.
"And…?" Ellie prompted, wondering herself where Joel was going with this. It couldn't be about Jason again, they had just settled that matter.
Joel's lips twitched in a half-smile, like he was almost embarrassed to broach the subject. "I, uh…feel like you've been doing that to avoid me," he said after a long pause, and then let a breath out like a burden had lifted from his broad shoulders.
Ellie almost laughed out loud, but she noticed the serious glint in Joel's eyes, and decided against it. "You think I've been avoiding you?" she echoed, imitating Joel's expression again as her lips formed a thin line. If someone as stoic and reserved as Joel was bothered by her lack of interaction with him, it had to be serious.
"Yeah. I think I know why," Joel nodded slowly, his jaw clenching again, like Jason's when he didn't want to remember a painful memory.
A sinking feeling settled in Ellie's stomach, and she drew her knees up to her chest as she thought back to their car ride on their way from Salt Lake City. It felt like some surreal dream, her waking up in the back seat in the hospital gown, with Joel telling her the Fireflies had stopped looking for a cure. Though Jason provided more than enough of a distraction, she still felt that pervading sense of confusion when she stared up at the ceiling at night, that sense of emptiness that came from unanswered questions. It always felt like something was missing ever since their conversation on the hill top.
"I don't know what to think," Ellie replied honestly, briefly glancing up at Joel before dropping her gaze to her socks again.
"All I want you to know is that it wasn't for nothing," Joel said quietly, his voice gruff with the drop in volume.
Ellie glanced up at him again, this time in disbelief. "Then what was it for? You said the Fireflies stopped looking for a cure, you said everyone else like me didn't do any good."
You said it and you swore. You promised it was true. You promised!
"Why couldn't I talk to Marlene, or one of the doctors? Or-" Ellie's confusion gave way to frustration as her voice rose.
"Marlene's dead."
Ellie's jaw went slack as she stared at Joel in shock, and he stared back with equal grimness. A heavy silence settled between them, the only sound the clinking of utensils as Maria set the table downstairs. As the silence wore on, Ellie swore she could hear Maria's wooden spoon scraping the bottom of a pot on the stove.
After what felt like hours, Ellie finally breathed, "What?"
"You can't talk to Marlene, or any of the doctors because they're dead. They wanted to kill you so that they could harvest your brain, to get at the fungus growing on it. I wouldn't let them," Joel said gravely, his face becoming impossible to read. Ellie couldn't tell if he felt guilty, angry, or anything at all. What scared her the most was the last option.
Ellie's lips parted, but no sound came out. It was like her voice stopped working. She stared in disbelief at Joel, and then at the wall behind him, and then she was focusing on nothing at all.
The edge of the mattress rose up again, the weight making it dip gone. She heard a whoosh of air, and it sounded tired. Boots scraped the wooden floor, fading to silence as they receded down the hall.
Ellie wasn't sure how long she sat with her knees to her chest, letting the lines of her wall blur where wall met door and ceiling. It must not have been long, because Maria's voice calling her for dinner partially sucked her out of her daze. Ellie dragged herself down the hall, halting at the top landing. The first bit of emotion fizzled in her stomach, and she vaguely recognized it as anxiety. As she descended the stairs, she thought it felt strange to be anxious about facing Joel.
Ellie robotically pulled the chair out from the table, sitting across from Tommy. Joel was already seated beside him, and Maria took her place beside her. "Smells good, honey," Tommy complimented as he spooned a mixture of peas and carrots onto his plate. To Ellie he sounded far away, like he was whispering from across the room.
"Ellie, aren't you hungry?" Maria queried from beside her.
Ellie picked her head up, glancing around at everyone else's full plates, and then down at her empty one. "Oh…yeah," she shrugged, taking the bowl of boiled potatoes and forking a few pieces onto her plate. Once it looked like everyone else's, she ate a few bites of her pork chop, but could hardly make herself swallow. It felt like trying to swallow a golf ball.
So, while she tuned out Maria and Joel's discussion on crops and hen houses, she chased her peas around her plate with her fork.
"Something the matter, Ellie? You're awfully quiet," Tommy noted, his casual tone carrying an undercurrent of concern.
"I guess I don't have a lot to say about farming…" Ellie mumbled in response.
Maria seemed to pick up on Ellie's change in behaviour as well. "How are things with Jason?" she asked.
Ellie chewed her lip, hesitating for a moment before replying. Guilt pricked her insides at the mention of Jason's name. She felt his secret fluttering around on her tongue, just waiting for her to open her mouth so it could be set free. She silently lifted a shoulder, clenching her jaw to prevent its escape.
"Hmm," Maria said quietly, then guessed. "He's still thrown off by Dominic?"
Ellie bobbed her head, wishing they would stop talking about Jason. She met Joel's eyes from across the table, and he had that glint in his eye, the one that silently let her know he was concerned. The guilt gnawed at Ellie, begging her to tell Jason's secret so he wouldn't get killed, but the memory of his fury and his hand clamping around her throat prevented any sound from escaping. Anxiety squeezed her chest at the thought of what would happen when Jason's parents, Tommy, and Maria discovered Jason had disappeared, and what would happen when they found out she had been in on it.
Then she thought back to the car ride again. Joel lied to me. He killed Marlene, why did he kill Marlene? The doctors didn't deserve to die, either!I could've made a difference. I could've been the cure! He took that away from me!
"Ellie? Ellie, what's wrong?" Maria's concerned voice jolted Ellie back to reality.
"Huh? What?" Ellie drew her brows together in confusion, and then even more so as she wiped wetness from her cheeks. Since when had she started crying?
Maria's blue-gray eyes held sympathy as she pushed her chair back, "C'mon, let's go upstairs for a minute." She cocked her head in the direction of the staircase, and Ellie drew a shaky breath as she nodded, following her.
When they reached the top landing, out of earshot of Tommy and Joel, Maria bent down so she was eye-level with Ellie. She placed comforting hands on her shoulders, the sympathy blending with concern in her eyes. "I know something's wrong. Tell me what it is," Maria said in a firm, but gentle voice.
The tears on Ellie's cheeks had been wiped away, and new ones didn't replace them. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, Maria's arms preventing her from looking anywhere but at her concerned face. Ellie knew she couldn't lie to her without her detecting it.
"Jason's going to see his ex-girlfriend," Ellie confessed, and a bit of the guilt trickled away, leaving a bit of relief in its wake. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either.
Maria smiled a bit, as if she were expecting something worse. "I don't see anything wrong with that. Why were you so upset about that?" she titled her head, the last phrase accompanied with a light laugh.
Ellie bit her lip, bunching the fabric of her hoodie. "I'm not, it's just…she lives outside Jackson. Somewhere south, I think. I don't know," she replied honestly, trying to remember what she could from the map. But there were so many scribbles in red writing on it, she didn't have a chance to see what they said, or determine which one was Ian's group's camp. All she remembered was Jason wrinkling his brow at something on the south part of the map.
"I see. How does he know where she is?" Maria asked.
The relief of telling someone filled Ellie with a sense of peace, and the departing guilt in her mind felt so good, she didn't want it to stop. "Ian gave him a map," she willingly answered, another shot of relief rippling through her body. It was like a drug, and she didn't care if she was being selfish for taking it. She didn't care if it would stop Jason from seeing Riley, and at the moment she didn't care what he would do or say to her when he found out she ratted on him. All she wanted was for the guilt to be gone.
"And if Ian knows, then Jason's ex-girlfriend must have lived with him, right? In that group Jason was talking about that came from Denver?" Maria presumed, filling in the gaps from hers and Tommy's conversation with Jason in the barn from earlier.
Ellie nodded. More anxiety faded away, untwisting her stomach a little.
"So how do you feel about Jason wanting to see this girl?" Maria inquired, and laughed a bit when Ellie blinked at her in surprise, parting her lips as if to speak, but no sound coming out.
"I…I don't know. What do I have to do with it?" Ellie stammered quickly, willing the heat to stop rising up her wanted to tell Maria she couldn't care less if Jason wanted to see Riley, that all she cared about was keeping him from killing himself on the way there, but more heat on her cheeks replaced the words.
Maria smiled, amusement dancing in her blue-gray eyes. "Nothing," she said in that way that clearly implied the opposite. The amusement darkened to seriousness again, and a frown tugged her lips downward. "How does Jason plan to see this girl? Is he going to go with Ian when he gets better?"
Ellie shook her head. "No, he wants to do something stupid and go alone tomorrow."
"Alone?" Maria's eyebrow lifted in surprise. "He hasn't been properly outside of Jackson for an entire year. How does he expect to face what's out there?"
"That's what I said!" Ellie huffed. "But he doesn't care, all he can think about is his stupid ex-girlfriend! It's like once Ian started talking about her, his dick replaced his brain."
Maria giggled, ruffling Ellie's hair. "Trust me, that's what happens to most boys when they start thinking about girls they like. I'll talk to Ian and Jason, and maybe we can work something out. Thanks, Ellie," she smiled, patting Ellie's shoulder as she released her and motioned for her to come join the boys downstairs for dinner again.
The absence of the guilt left only the emptiness Ellie had felt after Joel's confession, only it wasn't as overwhelming now. The emptiness was more like a familiar friend that had accompanied her during the past winter and spring. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to be angry and spiteful towards Joel, or grateful to him for saving her from certain death at the hands of the Fireflies. The familiar numbness settled around Ellie's shoulders as she caught Joel's eye when she resumed her place at the table again, and she focused on her food for the remainder of dinner.
Ellie yawned, glancing out the window at the dark night sky and the squares of yellow light marking the windows of the cottages all along the street. The floodlights outshone the twinkling stars, but she could still make out the brightest ones that hadn't been washed out by the lights. She had grown tired of her comics and now one of the books Maria had lent to her. In her opinion spaceships, galactic battles, and outer space beat pirates, buried treasure, and frigates any day.
Ellie arched her back, the vertebrae in her spine giving a satisfying crick. She closed the worn, yellow-paged book and placed it on her nightstand, reaching over to pull the cord on her lamp and burrow under the covers. She wasn't sure how long she had been up reading after dinner, but her sore back implied it had been quite a while. The thin pillow between her and the wall didn't provide much comfort in the long run.
Her fingers curled around the lamp cord, ready to welcome darkness and sleep, but a commotion downstairs stayed her hand. She heard Maria and Tommy's urgent voices as the screen door ricocheted off the wall with a sharp crack of wood on wood. She lifted an eyebrow at the third voice: Jason's.
Door hinges whined on her right, accompanied with Joel's heavy footsteps. Curious, Ellie likewise opened her door and descended the stairs behind him as he irritably questioned the newly arrived trio in the kitchen, "What's going on? Do you have any idea what time it is?" He covered his mouth as he gave a wide yawn, rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. The graying black hair on one side of his head was askew, like it had been pressed against a pillow.
Ellie likewise yawned, feeling the tendrils of sleep clinging to her body tighten as if wanting to pull her back to her bed. She caught sight of Jason, and his livid glare he aimed at her snipped those threads of sleep, leaving her wide awake. The muscles in his shoulders were bunched underneath his thin plaid shirt, looking ready to release in a lunge at any moment.
"You," Jason's upper lip twitched as if to curl back in a snarl. "You told them."
Ellie clenched her jaw at his deadly growl, making fists at her sides. "If I didn't, you would be dead by this time tomorrow," she shot back.
"You ruined my chance of finding Riley, now everyone knows! My parents, Tommy, Maria, Joel, everyone fucking knows about the map!" Jason's voice rose to a furious shout, and he made to lunge for Ellie. Tommy hooked his arms around Jason's shoulders, as did Maria, restraining him. Joel held a hand out, backing Ellie further away from Jason's thrashing.
Tommy struggled as Jason jerked violently from side to side, trying to wrench himself free. "Hey! Hey, that's enough! Ellie did you a favor!" Tommy tried to reason with Jason, but the boy didn't seem to hear him.
"Kid, you don't know what you're asking for. Out there ain't like Jackson; people are savage, merciless bastards that'll skin you just to steal your food," Joel added, his voice terse and gruff. Jason's attempts to escape from Tommy and Maria's grips faltered as he processed Joel's words.
Jason shook his head, "I know it's dangerous, but I'll risk anything to see Riley. But Ellie had to go and rat, and now that chance is gone!"
"Why is it gone? I just made it safer for you! Now other people can go with you so you won't die!" Ellie protested defiantly.
Jason's chest heaved as he panted, exhausted from his fruitless fight to get free. His legs shook and one knee gave out, and he dropped to the ground with a dull thud. One half of his plaid shirt hung off his shoulder, and sweat glimmered on his exposed collarbone under the lights overhead. His dark bangs obscured his face, making it impossible to see his expression.
"You don't know what you've done," Jason's voice was barely above a whisper, wavering as if he was on the verge of crying. Ellie had to strain her ears to hear him. "Nobody was supposed to know about that map."
"Why?" Ellie asked, worry creeping up her back, tensing her muscles.
One word and Jackson burns to the ground. Ian's voice echoed in Jason's mind, still just as vicious as if he were in the room, hissing in his ear. He wasn't stupid enough to take Ian's threats lightly. "Because," Jason said, his voice grave, "you've unleashed a Cobra and the King of Dragons."
"The hell's that supposed to mean?" Tommy wrinkled his brow in confusion, as did Maria and Joel.
Jason picked his head up, looking straight at Ellie again. This time there was no fury in his eyes, only fear and anxiety. Ellie cocked her head, vaguely recognizing the name. She suddenly gasped, fitting the pieces together.
"Ian's going to attack," she translated, and Jason nodded.
A/N: Sorry for the super-late update, but as some of you know, it's exam season. I don't have tons of time to work on chapters :( Also, I'm a little concerned with the lack of attention both this story and Quarantine Zone are getting. I'm not sure if it's the infrequent updates, or the fact that both stories are technically something you've seen before and it's boring for you, but I would like to know your thoughts on the matter so I can do something about it (if I can).
Speaking of Quarantine Zone, I'm not sure if the people reading that are same ones reading this story, but if so, what would you like to see in Quarantine Zone that you didn't see in Denver's Finest? What would you like changed from Denver's Finest, character or plot-wise (This could also apply to Remnants and No Sound, Please)? This could include more backstory on minor characters, more development of Riley and Ian's relationship, a smoother transition of Riley's grieving over Jason to her attempted suicide, the list goes on. Please let me know, I can't improve if you guys are silent. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!