A/N: I was really pleased by your responses for the previous chapter! Thank You :D

I don't own anything ;)

Chapter 10. Catch & Release

"Everybody got their reason
Everybody got their way
We're just catching and releasing
What builds up throughout the day

It gets into your body
And it flows right through your blood
We can tell each other secrets
And remember how to love"

"Catch & Release – Matt Simons"

"Where's Caitlin?"

Barry had just finished cleaning himself up and Caitlin missing in the room was the first thing he noticed as he joined his friends in the living room. They had come back to the beach house, about one hour ago, to find their three friends worried about how long their walk on the beach was taking. Caitlin and Barry had told them the whole drowning incident and Patty and Iris had spent about half an hour shooting worried questions at them. Eddie had been dumbfounded the whole time, not believing what had happened not that far from the house, how they had almost lost a friend.

Caitlin had then very calmly explained everything, the doctor persona taking the upper hand, and had told them that Barry was supposed to take it easy so the two women should lay off the questions. Barry had been grateful for her intervention and had gone straight to the bathroom to take a long and warm shower.

Now that he was back, he could see his girlfriend and his best friend eyeing him like they were expecting him to collapse at any moment. He could also see all the questions begging to escape their lips. Barry perfectly knew they wouldn't be able to hold on for long. Thankfully, it was almost midnight and Barry really felt like going to bed.

He just wanted to see how Caitlin was doing first – they hadn't talked alone ever since they had come back – which shouldn't be surprising considering it had only been an hour or so.

"Hum I think she's outside on the beach." Iris replied. "She wanted to take some air."

"As if she hadn't taken enough already." Patty mumbled quietly and Barry almost thought he had imagined it. He simply decided to ignore it. He was too tired to try to understand what was going on inside his girlfriend's mind.

"Okay," the young man nodded, "I'll go check on her. I'll be right back."

"Barry, let her be." Patty stopped him, laying one hand on his arm as he passed the couch she was sitting on, clearly annoyed by her boyfriend. "She can manage one hour without you."

"She probably can, but she doesn't have to." Barry stated, not really appreciating his girlfriend's tone. He carefully freed himself from her grip. "But I promised her I'd be there for her when things got tough – though I hadn't planned to drown and make things tougher. So I'm not letting her deal with things alone."

Without another word, Barry opened the sliding doors and stepped outside. Darkness was drowning the beach but he managed to see her silhouette thanks to the full moon. He carefully closed the doors behind him and made his way towards her. She was sitting on the sand, knees drawn to her chest, arms crossed above them, chin resting on her arms, facing the agitated water but not close enough to touch it.

Silently, he sat next to Caitlin on the sand. She didn't spare him a single glance, she just continued staring at the cold and wild water, her hands clutching at her arms.

Barry waited a moment, wanting to see if she would say something – anything – but she didn't. And it confirmed his assumption that she was mad at him. This was actually new to him. Caitlin Snow had always been the kind to shout and yell when she was angry with someone. She would never keep it in; she always spoke her mind. Sometimes her anger was a real contrast to her sweet appearance. You wouldn't expect someone looking like her to get mad like she did. She had never given him the silent treatment, not like this. Barry honestly though he preferred her shouting at him than not talking at all.

Ever since she had come back, he had felt those walls around her, walls she had built to protect herself and her heart. They were different from those she had back in high school. The old ones had been frail and Barry had gone through them without much problems. The new ones were thick and threatening, as if she had put layers on layers at each heartache she had gone through. And Barry couldn't blame her for it – she had been through so much… It just saddened him to see her like that.

Right now, he just wanted her to simply look at him and maybe forgive him. Somehow, he had a pretty good idea for the reason she was mad at him. He didn't know how he knew, he just did.

He sighed and finally decided to break the silence. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you leaving like that…"

"It's okay, I get it." Caitlin cut him off, finally glancing sideways at him, her empty eyes making his heart squeeze. "You had to go. It's just…" She took a deep breath, looking back at the water, before continuing. "That's the last thing that Ronnie said to me that night… when the particle accelerator exploded."

A faint gasp escaped Barry's lips. He had no idea. No wonder she had reacted that way. He must have brought so many bad memories, on top of almost dying in her arms.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't know."

"It's okay." Caitlin shrugged, although her voice was thick with emotions. "You saved a man tonight, and I could never hate you for that."

Barry shook his head. The last thing he wanted was for her to think that her feelings weren't worth being taking into account. He didn't want her to find excuses for him. "Still, it was a bit reckless from me."

The young doctor let a bitter chuckle escape her lips. "That's an understatement." She groaned.

Silence settled in between the both of them as the water's wild movements captivated their gazes. A shiver ran along Barry's spine as he remembered how cold and threatening the water had felt against his skin a couple of hours ago. He was really thankful to be here to witness that shiver. Because it meant he was still alive. He had come close to death, but he was still here.

Caitlin seemed to be having the same line of thoughts as she whispered, "I don't know what I would've done if I had lost you tonight."

Her voice was frail and all he wanted to do was gather her in his arms. But he didn't feel like he had the right to at the moment.

"Hey, you don't need to think about this right now." He said soothingly. "I'm still here, Cait. You didn't lose me."

"But I almost did." She croaked, almost choking on her newborn tears. She turned to face him, her pleading eyes meeting his. "I already lost too many people I really cared about, Barry. I can't go through that again."

Barry's heart broke into millions of pieces at the sight. He knew not many people got the opportunity to see Caitlin Snow in that state. And, selfishly, he liked being the person she felt so comfortable with that she could shed her defence walls and confide herself in.

"Come here." He murmured, draping one arm around her shoulders and gathering her in his arms. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here." He promised.

Barry didn't care if he deserved having her in his arms or not, all that mattered was that she needed the comfort. And he would gladly give it to her. Her sobs died down pretty quickly, but she didn't pull away from him.

He didn't know how long they stayed like this, but after what felt like hours – or maybe just a few minutes – he decided to break the silence. He knew the wheels were turning inside her head, and he was really curious about what she was thinking about. "Penny for your thoughts."

Caitlin lifted her head off his shoulder and pulled away to sit straight again, his arm falling back down to the sand. Her lips curled up into a smile. "I was thinking about the guy you saved."

"What about him?" Barry frowned.

"Well, I'd like to go check on him tomorrow, see how he's doing." She softly explained.

"Hum…" He paused for a second. "They took him to the hospital, right?"

"Yes," Caitlin nodded, "they wanted to keep him in observation for a bit. He stayed in the water longer than you, he's bound to have a few residual effects from the drowning."

"And he doesn't have his personal physician to keep an eye on him." Barry added, sending her a wink.

Caitlin rolled her eyes and thanked the darkness around them that hid the light flush of her cheeks.

She shook her head. "Anyway, maybe I'll go see him tomorrow."

They stayed silent for a minute and then Barry asked, "Do you mind if I come with you?"

The young woman turned her head to him and the moonlight shined on her smile. "Not at all."

They stared at each other for a moment before Caitlin looked away. "Speaking of personal physician," she spoke softly, "yours is recommending some quality time with your girlfriend and a good night of sleep."

"Quality time with my girlfriend?" Barry repeated with a chuckle.

Caitlin nodded. "Yes. Patty's worried about you. You should go put her mind at ease."

Barry sighed silently before answering. "You're right, I'm going back inside." He stood up, took a couple of steps towards the house and turned again towards Caitlin when he realised she wasn't following. "You coming?"

Caitlin glanced at him over her shoulder and shook her head. "You go first, I'll stay here a bit longer. See you tomorrow, Barry."

"Goodnight, Cait."

After a long restful night, Barry let a hand run through his hair as he walked down the stairs leading to the open living room / kitchen of Joe's beach house. No matter how many times he tried to tame his wild strands, it seemed he would have permanent bed hair for the day. He let his hand fall and grabbed the car keys on the kitchen counter.

Patty, who was sitting at the dining table with her computer, lifted her head as she heard the key-jingle. "Where are you going?" She inquired with a light frown.

Barry joined her, standing next to her chair and dropping a kiss to her hair. He had followed Caitlin's advice and had a long talk with Patty about his drowning incident.

"I'm going to the hospital with Caitlin. I promised her yesterday that I would accompany her to see how my drowning buddy is doing." He joked lightly.

Patty tensed up at the information. He didn't know if it was because he was joking about his drowning experience or because he had said Caitlin's name. It seemed it was the latter.

"Well can't she go with someone else?" She asked curtly, looking back to her computer. "I think Eddie's free." She added innocently, as if she actually didn't care. But her tone completely betrayed her.

He frowned at her behaviour, not being used to Patty being cold like that. "She can," he spoke slowly, "but I already promised her I would go with her. She needs some distraction right now."

"Yeah and you're the distraction…" Patty mumbled.

Barry frowned at that. "Excuse me?"

Patty slammed her laptop shut and turned to face Barry. "Well, can't she find somebody else's boyfriend to be her distraction?"

"Hey, there's no need to be mean." Barry snapped, his patience wearing thin. "She just wants to see if that guy is okay. Oh, and by the way, I want to see him too. Plus, it'll keep her from brooding on the beach. She's doing enough of that as it is."

"Oh come on!" Patty spat bitterly. "She has you wrapped around her little finger and you can't even see it. It's probably all just an act."

"What? You're kidding right? She lost her fiancé and her career!" Barry gaped at her, not believing what he was hearing. He shook his head in despair and made his way to the front door. "You know what? I'm not having this conversation now. Caitlin is waiting for me outside."

"Yeah, I bet she is." Patty spat out.

Barry stopped dead in his tracks. Enough was enough.

He turned around and walked back towards his girlfriend. "Okay, what's your problem?"

Patty stood up to face him, resting her hands on her hips in a threatening position. "My problem is you spending all your free time with your high school sweetheart!"

"That was a long time ago! She's just a friend!" Barry protested, his tone raising. "And I thought you were okay with that!"

The blonde woman rolled her eyes. "Well obviously I had to say I was okay with you hanging out with her! I knew better than to forbid you from seeing her." She shook her head. "And honestly, I really was okay with it when you were just hanging out from time to time. But keeping from me the fact that you two dated really didn't play in your favour Barry. I can't help but think there's a reason why you kept this."

Barry tried to take a step towards her but she stopped him. "There's nothing going on, I swear. You have nothing to worry about." He tried to convince her.

"So why are you spending so much time with her?" She squeaked, her eyes welling up all of a sudden, as if she had bottled up all of these feelings and they were all coming out now.

"She needs me." Barry simply stated, trying to ignore the hurt twitch that appeared on his girlfriend's features.

"And I need you." She whimpered. "And last time I checked, I was your girlfriend, which makes me your priority… not her! I finally got a few days off work and you don't even spend time with me." Angrily, she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, taking a deep breath as if her next words were physically painful to utter. "I really hate to be that person but I'm going to ask you to choose. It's her or me."

"Patty…" He started.

"I mean it!" She cut him off, not letting him the opportunity to manage to change her mind.

Barry shook his head. "I can't leave her, she really needs the support right now."

Patty let out a humourless chuckle as she shook her head. "I knew it… I'm not even surprised. I see the deep connection between you two. I never stood a chance…"

"Don't say that…" He croaked, his heart suddenly very heavy and a lump creating itself in his throat.

"The worst thing is that you don't even realise it." Patty pointed out. "She could find help with anyone of us. We are all here for her too. But there's something about you and her, and I really don't want to be in the middle of it."

"Patty…" He trailed off with a strained voice.

"I'm sorry, Barry," she shook her head again, "but maybe we should take a break."

He gaped at her. "A break? What does that even mean?"

"It means that if you walk out that door to join your ex, then I'll pack my things and be in my car in less than an hour. I'll go back home and when you come back in a few days, we'll see where it leaves us." Patty took a deep breath, her face suddenly strained by the fight. "But I wouldn't put too much hope in us getting back on track. Maybe your mind hasn't caught up with your heart yet, but I did. You still have real feelings for her."

Barry shook his head and took a step forward. "It's not like that. We just have a lot of history together."

Patty shrugged sadly. "Exactly." She simply said before gathering her computer and heading towards the stairs. "Goodbye Barry."

The young man looked at his girlfriend – or ex-girlfriend – disappearing into the stairway. "Bye." He whispered.

What had just happened? He really hadn't expected this turn of even when he woke up this morning or when they left Ryker Neve or even when he asked Caitlin to join them. Had he really ignored Patty as she said he did? Had he really been inconsiderate towards her?

Without dwelling too much on it, Barry chased the single tear that had rolled down his cheek and left the house – he'd think about it later. Caitlin looked up from her phone when she heard the front door open. She was casually leaning back against the car waiting for him.

The smile she had been wearing instantly fell as she saw the storm in his eyes. "Everything okay?" She asked worriedly. "I heard some shouting."

Barry's features softened at her tone and waved her comment aside. "Nah, don't worry, it was nothing. Everything's peachy." He cheered, contouring the car to get in the driver's seat.

Caitlin frowned as she also got in the car, not completely believing his statement, but deciding to let it go for the time being. She, better than anyone, knew not to push someone to talk if they didn't want to. She knew that Barry would tell her what was bothering him, if he wanted to.

Well she hoped so at least.

After asking for information at the front desk, Barry and Caitlin made their way towards the room 358 where Anthony Knus was currently residing. They found the man Barry had saved sitting on his hospital bed, playing with the television's remote control, not finding any program to his taste.

His face immediately brightened up as he saw the two young people enter the room. "Oh there's my favourite couple of lifesavers!" Anthony exclaimed himself

"Oh we're not…" Caitlin blushed furiously while shaking her head.

"How are you holding up?" Barry spoke before she could finish her sentence.

"Like I drank too much salty water?" Anthony joked. "But I'm good, I'm actually being discharged now. I'll be home in a couple of hours."

"Well I'm glad to hear that." Caitlin softly said.

"What about you? Everything's okay?" Anthony asked in direction of Barry.

"Yeah, I think so." Barry smiled before gesturing towards Caitlin. "But Caitlin here insisted that I get a last check up, as we're already at the hospital anyway." He added, with a fake annoyance tone to his voice.

Caitlin glared at him. "Well they have way more tech here to make sure that you're okay." She explained seriously, not liking that Barry was taking his drowning so lightly. "I really want to make sure everything's fine." She added with a softer voice, her eyes never leaving his, almost forgetting about the actual patient in the room.

But he didn't seem to mind; Anthony just watched them with a big grin on his face. Their behaviour did nothing to contradict him jumping to conclusion that they were a couple.

Barry seemed to realise that they had been staring at each other and he cleared his throat, turning his attention back to Anthony. "Can I ask you a question?"

Anthony shrugged. "Sure, it's a free country."

Barry chuckled, slightly shaking his head in amusement. He liked that guy. "Why were you in the water in the first place?"

The careless expression on the man's face immediately fell, replaced by strained lines and a pained twitch of his mouth. "I'm not proud of it but… My fiancé dumped me a few days ago, one freaking week before the wedding… I tried to change her mind, but she firmly stood by her decision. I couldn't do anything to make her stay. She wanted to leave." He let out a deep breath, not quite meeting his visitors' gazes. "She gave me all of her reasons – which were valid – but I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault even when she said it wasn't. I couldn't help feeling that it was because I didn't give her enough reasons to stay with me."

Barry shook his head. "Hey, it's not your fault if she didn't love you as much as you loved her. It happens."

"I know that," a weak smile appeared on Anthony's lips, "I just couldn't handle it. I felt dead inside, like I couldn't feel anything anymore. I knew that going in the water was crazy, but I needed to feel something, you know?"

Caitlin gave him an apologetic look, relating a bit too much to what he was saying.

"When you lose something you love like that, you don't know what to do." Anthony continued, letting the words flow out of his mouth as if he had been dying to confide himself to someone. "It was like I was fighting against a ghost. I can't do anything concrete to actually move on, you know? She left and I was alone with a void. How are you supposed to deal with that?" He let a hand run through his hair before shrugging. "Going into the water was giving a tangible form to what I was fighting against." He finally admitted.

Those words struck a chord inside Caitlin. It was as if they had snapped something back in its place. She perfectly knew how it felt to be left with a void and not knowing how to deal with it, wanting to fight it but not knowing how. Because how do you fight something you can't see?

"I know it was reckless," Anthony continued, "but for the first time in days, I felt like I had something to fight against, I had a reason to live, I didn't want to die. I just wanted something to fight against. And when I realised I wouldn't be able to get out of there, I panicked and immediately regretted my decision." He finally lifted his eyes to look at his visitors. "So believe me, I'll never do that again. I learned my lesson. And I'm really grateful for both of you for saving my life. I'll never be able to repay you."

Barry shrugged and genuinely smiled at him. "Do me a favour. Just live your life fully, don't look back."

Anthony simply nodded. "I'm moving on."

Those words rang like a mantra inside Caitlin's mind.

I'm moving on. I'm moving on. I'm moving on. I'm moving on.

And she knew it was time for her to do the same and not just pretend to do it.