Legal Stuff: I don't own Galaxy Angel yadda, yadda, yadda.
Notes: I got the idea for this chapter while shopping in a supermarket a few weeks back...
Coming to a Store Near You!
"Hiya guys! How's it going?"
This voice belonged to Creta, the female mechanic of the Elle Ciel. She had come to pay a visit to the Galaxy Angel Guys, who welcomed her warmly.
"We're doing just fine!" said Takuto, who was sitting on a chair near the table in the middle of the room. "Albeit a little tired, and hungry..."
"What he means is that we're completely bankrupt and we still have barely enough food to keep ourselves alive." added Lester, who was standing by Takuto's side. "By the way, what are you doing all the way out here, Creta?"
"Well, since the emblem frames aren't being used for the time being, I don't really have much to do around the Elle Ciel anymore. Oh, and I also finished repairing that space pod you broke."
"Now all we have to worry about is paying off our debt for planet Pluto that we destroyed..." said Kuromie, who was sitting cross-legged on the ground with Space Whale Jr. in his lap.
Creta sweatdropped. "Yeah, I heard about that incident... Anyway, I've come to help you-"
"Pay off the debt?" put in Lester quickly.
"Get us food?" added Takuto hopefully.
"No, I've come to upgrade your gadgets!" said Creta happily. The G.A.G. sighed at this. "Aw come on! You won't regret this decision!"
"But we don't really need to upgrade our gadgets now." said Kuromie, standing up. "What we need is money—about 80 million of it..."
"Well, you'll need better gadgets if you want to complete your missions!" said Creta winking. "And, you'll also need more defense. I've heard that the Hell Hounds have been bothering you guys lately."
"Yes, that's true..." said Lester, considering this.
"So what do you say? I'll even do it for free!" added Creta.
"Okay, we'll do it." sighed Takuto, knowing how stubborn Creta could be when she had her mind set on something. "But what gadgets are you planning on upgrading?"
"The best gadgets are ones that are easy to carry, disguisable, and one that you use often. So, is there any item you each have that fits this description?"
"Oh, I know!" said Takuto, ripping off the triangle shaped crystal from the front of his uniform and handing it to Creta. "Do you think this will work?"
"Hmm, the chrono crystal, a piece of the lost technology. It'll be perfect!" said Creta, scooping up the crystal from Takuto's hand carefully.
"You can take this watch." said Kuromie, offering Creta the watch that Luft had issued each of the Galaxy Angel Guys. Creta accepted it.
"And you, vice-commander Lester?" asked Creta.
"Well..." started Lester, hesitating.
"How about your eyepatch?" suggested Takuto.
"WHAT?(!)" cried Lester, putting his hand protectively over the eyepatch.
"Well, since you already wear it all the time, I thought it would be a good choice..."
Lester hesitated some more, then eventually said, "Fine."
Commander Sherry shook her head in annoyance. This was the second time she had to rescue one of her crew. Camus and Guinness sat solemnly in Sherry's ship. Sherry sighed.
"Alright, it's your turn Chianti." she said into her walkie-talkie.
"This is the place!" said Takuto to the two other members happily. The G.A.G. were now standing in front of a studio. Creta had gone back to the Elle Ciel to upgrade the items. And since the G.A.G. weren't expecting any new missions for awhile, they had to get another job in the meantime.
"We're gonna audition for a commercial!" exclaimed Takuto excitedly. "Isn't that great?"
"Not really." said Lester, who had bandages wrapped around his head and covering his left eye where his eyepatch would be. Losing the eyepatch had apparently put him into a very bad mood.
"What commercial are we auditioning for?" asked Kuromie, who, as always, brought Space Whale Jr. along.
"Mew." went Space Whale Jr. happily.
"Some type of food commercial." answered Takuto. "I saw the ad in a newspaper. We'll be able to make money AND get something to eat at the same time!"
"I have a really bad feeling about this..." said Lester.
"Aw, stop being so emo." said Takuto patting Lester on the back.
"Emo?" asked Lester agitatedly as they entered the studio. "I am NOT emo."
Unfortunately, Lester's bad feeling was right, for when the G.A.G. entered the studio, a long line awaited them. The Galaxy Angel Guys groaned in unison.
After hours of waiting, Takuto and co. were finally up. A bored woman handed all three the scripts and waved them to the stage. Three critics were sitting in front of it. Two were male, one was female. They all looked as equally bored as the woman who handed out the scripts.
"Alright, we don't have all day, so let's get to the point." This was said by one of the male critics. He was holding a board with papers on it. And he was bald. "What we want-" he continued, "—Is someone with energy, charisma, enthusiasm, and more energy."
"Well we have lots!" said Takuto, a little over excitedly, and in his nervousness, he threw his arms back and accidentally whacked Lester in the face with the script.
"Wonderful. Yeah. Just great." said the other male critic, who was busy talking on a cell phone.
"Just read the script." said the female critic, who had way too much make-up on.
"Umm, okay..." said Takuto, looking down at the script. "Umm, you start first Lester!"
"Why me?(!)" he whispered, outraged. But, seeing that the critics were watching, he mumbled some curses under his breath, then read the script.
"Poor turkeys..." Lester said, in a tone of utter loathing. "Thousands of them are slaughtered every year for Thanksgiving—Hey wait, it's the middle of June! Why are we doing a commercial for Thanksgiving now?"
"It takes a while to film the commercial, edit it, then put it on air." responded the female critic. "Just continue please, we don't have all day."
"Fine." Then Lester proceeded to read the rest of the script in the driest, most hatred-loaded voice ever. "Thousands of them are slaughtered every year for Thanksgiving. Isn't it sad? Isn't there a way to live with them in harmony? I believe that somewhere out there, there is a heaven where all the slaughtered turkeys go to—goddesses, this is so retarded." Lester couldn't continue reading the script anymore. The critics, however, were in tears.
"That was the most beautiful acting I've ever seen..." said the bald critic, wiping a tear from his eye.
"You're perfect for the part!" exclaimed the female critic.
"It almost seemed like you mean it!" said the other male critic, who finally got off his cell phone.
"I do MEAN it." stated Lester flatly.
"That's great!" said the bald critic. "Just what we needed—an emo actor!"
Lester's mouth hung open in disbelief. "I am not emo!" he shouted angrily. The critics ignored this comment, however, and then turned to Takuto and Kuromie. "And what can you two do?"
"Umm, I have LOTS of enthusiasm!" said Takuto, who in his nervousness, threw back his arms and hit Lester accidentally in the face with the script again.
The critics whispered amongst each other. "It's a long shot, but he can probably do it." said the bald critic. "Okay, now for the kid with the whale."
"Well, I can-" started Kuromie, but he was interrupted by the female critic.
"Wait. We have the perfect part for you. You can play the turkey."
"W-W-What?(!)" cried Kuromie.
"Congratulations. You three have the job." said the critic with the cell phone. He had started talking on it again. "Meet us at studio 7. We begin filming right away." The three critics then shuffled out of the studio.
Lester then turned to Takuto and Kuromie and said simply, "This is SO retarded."
"I hate this place, I hate these people, and I definitely hate this suit." said Lester, whose bad mood had worsened. Especially now that he had to wear an ugly orange tux with a neon green tie. "Goddesses, these people have no fashion sense whatsoever."
"And you say you're not emo..." said Takuto jokingly, who was wearing a light blue tux, which was thankfully a hundred times better than Lester's.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"Guys, calm down, please..." said Kuromie weakly. He too, was rather stressed, since he had been forced to wear a smelly old turkey costume. Space Whale Jr. was floating by Kuromie's side this time.
"Look what the cat dragged in." came a voice from behind the gang. It belonged to Riserva Chianti. He was in his normal clothes, wearing the same baggy pants, the same shirt and tie, and the same fancy white fur coat.
"Riserva!" cried the three G.A.G. members simultaneously.
Riserva looked at each of the members and then stopped at Lester. "Nice suit." He said.
"You wanna die?(!)" cried Lester angrily, lunging for him, but Takuto and Kuromie held Lester back.
"What are you doing here, Riserva?" Kuromie asked, although there was a hint of hatred in his voice.
"Haven't you heard? I'm the star of a new commercial."
"Wait, it isn't the same one as us, is it?" asked Takuto worriedly.
"Hmph, like I would star in your stupid tofu turkey commercial."
"Tofu Turkey?(!)" cried Lester. "Is that what we're filming? This just gets more and more retarded..."
"Anyway, that's my cue." said Riserva, as someone hailed him from the other side of the studio. "I best be off. Good luck. You'll need it."
"Well go and break a leg, why don't you? And I mean that literally!" Lester shouted as Riserva walked calmly away.
"Places everyone!" This was said by the bald critic, who also happened to be the director of the commercial. Then he asked Lester, "So how's my emo star doing?"
"I hate you and you're head's shinier than a waxed car." shot Lester angrily.
"Great, perfect! That's the spirit!"
Lester rolled his eyes, and then muttered under his breath, "Moron."
The director then asked, "Did you guys remember your lines?"
"Ah—er..." went Takuto who obviously hadn't memorized any.
"Don't worry, we have cue cards just in case. Just read what it says, and you'll be fine; got it? Good. Rolling in five, four, three, two, one, ACTION!"
Lester gave a long sigh, then started his melancholy "soliloquy".
"Poor turkeys..." He said, in an extremely flat and listless tone; "Thousands of them are slaughtered every year for Thanksgiving. Isn't it sad? Isn't there a way to live with them in harmony? I believe that somewhere out there, there is a heaven where all the slaughtered turkeys go to—No wait, I believe there is a whole galaxy full of turkeys, and all they do is eat and be happy..."
"Squabble..." went Kuromie, reading his cue card.
"NO! No, no, no!" cried the critic/director. "With FEELING!"
"Squabble?"
"You must become one with the turkey—you are the turkey! Try it again!"
"Squabble!"
"Louder..."
"SQUABBLE!"
Lester slapped a hand over his face, sighing, and resisted the urge to comment. Kuromie was greatly humiliated at this, and Takuto had to clap a hand over his mouth not to laugh out loud. Space Whale Jr. was watching from the side, since space whales weren't allowed in the commercial.
"Perfect! Now try it again—and flap your wings too."
This time, Kuromie let out a sigh almost as deep as Lester's.
"SQUABBLE!" Kuromie screeched, and flailed about, waving his "wings" crazily, feathers flying every which way. Unfortunately, this effect made it look like he was a turkey that was being murdered, but the director didn't seem to notice.
"Good, now continue on with the conversation Tom."
"It's Takuto."
"Whatever, Timmy."
Takuto ignored this comment and began reading the cue card.
"Not to fear, my friend!" he said to Lester. "For with this new product, turkeys and humans can finally live in harmony!"
"Great." said Lester, his voice dripping with so much sarcasm that it could probably drown the whole studio. "What is it." Lester was so fed up, that he didn't even bother to make it sound like a question.
"It's tofu! It's turkey!" Takuto continued. "It's TOFURKY!" Then Takuto burst into laughter and couldn't stop.
"CUT!" screamed the director in annoyance.
"I'm sorry, it's just such a funny word..." said Takuto, whose laughter finally subsided as he wiped tears from his eyes.
"It is NOT a funny word." said Lester flatly.
"Yes it is! Say it and try not to laugh."
"Tofurky."
Takuto burst into laughter again, while Lester looked on unamused.
"This is going to be a long day..." said Kuromie sweatdropping. Space Whale Jr. mewed from the side.
"That. Was. Horrible." said Lester, sounding out each word with hatred. He and the other two members had put their old clothes back on. "The tofurky didn't even taste good!"
Takuto burst into another stream of laughter, while Kuromie rolled his eyes.
"How about we pay a visit to Riserva?" suggested Lester suddenly, his eyes glinting evily.
"Why? He hasn't really done anything..." said Kuromie, as Takuto finally sobered up again.
"Don't forget, like the other Hell Hounds, he's probably on a mission to kill us." added Lester. "This is the perfect chance for us to finally strike first." With this, Lester grabbed a bunch of cue cards and a thick black felt pen from a desk nearby. Takuto seemed to understand quickly, and started grinning as he followed after the vice-commander.
"I have a bad feeling about this..." said Kuromie, following along as the two older members went over to Riserva's side of the studio.
"Just do whatever the cue card says." said another director to Riserva, who was lying lazily on an expensive couch.
"Fine." said Riserva standing up and going over to the set where the filming would start.
"Hurry, he's coming!" said Kuromie as Riserva approached. Kuromie was playing look-out while the two older members tinkered with the items on set. The set was made to look like a kitchen, complete with a table and two chairs. On the table, there was a plate of spaghetti and a bottle of drink—the product that was being commercialized.
"Okay, I'm done here." said Takuto, who had spiked the drink and spaghetti.
Lester was putting the last few words on the cue cards that would be used for Riserva's commercial. "Okay, I'm done here too. Let's split!"
As Riserva finally arrived on set, Takuto and co. had already scampered off the set, and were watching from the side. Fortunately, Riserva was too busy looking at his reflection in a hand mirror he held to notice that the set had been tampered with.
"Now what?" whispered Kuromie to Lester, even though the set was bustling with so much noise that Riserva wouldn't have overheard even if Kuromie had used his normal voice.
"We wait." said Lester grinning evilly.
"Takuto... what did you put in that food?" asked Kuromie worriedly, not wanting to go to jail in case Riserva died from their practical joke.
"I changed the juice in the drink to lime juice and I mixed loads of hot sauce into the spaghetti!" Exclaimed Takuto proudly.
Kuromie raised an eyebrow. Apparently he didn't understand how playing this practical joke would possibly give them a head start on their opponent. But it was too late to do anything now, as Riserva had just gotten on set, and had sat down in one of the chairs.
"Five, four, three, two, one—ACTION!" shouted Riserva's director. All the lights were now pointed down on Riserva, and the camera started rolling.
"Are you sick of drinking ordinary soda?" said Riserva. "Need something to go with your spaghetti?" With this, Riserva took a generous bite of the spaghetti on the table. Then his eyes widened, and his face started turning a deep shade red.
"Well worry no more..." continued Riserva, although in a raspy voice, for the hot sauce had done its job. Tears were welling up in the corners of his eyes from pain. "...Because with this..." continued Riserva in a strangely squeaky voice now. "...With this new drink, Plus One, you'll never want drink any other soda ever again!" With this he gulped down the liquid in the bottle, just as the cue card said to. A look of relief spread over his face, but then it was replaced with something else, for the drink was EXTREMELY sour. Riserva tried his best to keep smiling, but the corners of his mouth twitched oddly.
"Plus One has a refreshing tart taste that will leave your taste buds screaming..." Glancing at the cue card, Riserva found that he had to take another gulp from the bottle. He did, though rather reluctantly.
"Yup, it's the best soda ever... (sip) You won't be disappointed... (sip) And that's a guarantee... ugh... (sip)." His voice faltered as he took more and more sips of the lime concoction, and tried to keep his face from contorting at the same time. Meanwhile, Takuto and Kuromie tried not the crack up as they watched from the side. Lester, however, just smiled at this.
"And CUT! That was perfect!" said Riserva's director, patting Riserva on the back. But Riserva didn't hear a word of what the director said, for he had spotted the G.A.G. and was advancing on them murderously.
"That's our cue to run..." said Takuto quickly, as he and the other two members quickly climbed up a nearby ladder, their smiles gone.
"It was YOU!" yelled Riserva, breaking into a run now, and chasing after Takuto and co. On his way up the ladder, Riserva grabbed a spear from his closet on the set.
"Don't tell me he's got a weapon too..." groaned Lester.
"Yup; and by the looks of it, it's a spear." said Kuromie, who had taken a quick glance behind him.
"EEK! A dead end!" cried Takuto. Indeed, the G.A.G. had reached a dead end, for the ladder had only led them to a bunch of ceiling beams that hung over the studio. One slip, and they would fall to their deaths. The iron beams were set in a grid-like manner that made perfect squares. From these beams hung wires, ropes, and lights.
"You three almost ruined my chance at becoming a star!" came Riserva's voice, as he too reached the top of the ladder, the spear tucked under his arm. Then, grabbing one of the ropes for support, he swung the spear with the other.
"Hey watch it!" cried Takuto, as he, Lester, and Kuromie had to back away to avoid being flayed. Each of the G.A.G. members were now standing precariously on one of the beams. Lester then noticed that the rope Riserva was holding was attached to a pulley. On the other side of the pulley, the rope held a sandbag that hung near Lester's side. He suddenly got an idea.
"Do you trust me?" said Lester to his other two teammates.
"Yeah..." said Takuto hesitantly.
"No!" shouted Kuromie.
"Too late!" Lester said, as he pulled out his gun and shot at the knot that held the rope with the sandbag in place. With that, the sandbag quickly fell, as Riserva was pulled up with it by the pulley.
"Grab the rope!" yelled Lester, as he grabbed the rope with the sandbag, and descended with it. The other two followed, and when the sandbag finally stopped at the bottom, Lester, Takuto, and Kuromie were deposited safely with it. Riserva, meanwhile, was left dangling in the air, forced to hold on to the rope lest he fall.
"Get me down!" Riserva ordered, still holding on to his spear.
"Don't worry, the police will do just that." said Lester, grinning.
"Ha! You got served!" said Takuto, striking a pose.
Lester and Kuromie sighed.
"You know what?" said Lester. "I feel like having some turkey tonight."
"That's really cruel..." said Kuromie sweatdropping.
"Mew." went Space Whale Jr.
To Be Continued!
(Yes, another long chapter done! Yeesh, my chapters just keep getting longer and longer... At least this one was fun to write.
Yay, the tenth chapter! Thank you, to all who've taken the time to read and review my story. You know who you are. Just asking, but is this fanfiction funny to any of you? Being the writer, I can't really tell...)
Character Bio:
Riserva Chianti:
Gender: I'm pretty sure he's male, but some people have said that Riserva is female. Until I know for sure, I'm keeping him male. (Going by the manga, he's supposedly male…)
Age: Late teens
Height: He's the second shortest of the group. (Vermouth is the shortest.)
Job: Member of the Hell Hounds.
Looks: Like Camus, he looks very feminine. (He even has a beauty mark under his left eye!) He has short light purple hair and dark purple eyes. He usually wears fancy clothes, like a shirt and tie, and a fur coat.
Personality: He's a bit stuck up, and claims that he's rich, but no one really knows if that is true.
My Opinion: I think Riserva is cool. He's my second favorite character of the Hell Hounds. (You'll have to wait to find out my favorite!) I've heard a lot of people saying that they support Riserva x Mint. I, however, support Mint x Kuromie! ((runs))
THANKS FOR READING THIS FAR!