title: in the game of love
notes: This was originally saved as dating for the stupid in my files. I don't even know, man. I don't even know. Have some date show fun.
-.-
"Welcome to the first ever Hounnoji Academy dating show, Hounnoji Academy Love-Love Line! I am your host, Mankanshoku Mako, and today we have Sanageyama Uzu-senpai trying to find his perfect girl. On the other side of the curtains are three possible candidates: A-ko, B-ko, and C-ko! They have traveled from far and wide to get their chance –"
"Will you speed this up, I don't have all day."
"And that was B-ko, ladies and gentlemen! Doesn't she sound fabulous? I can't wait anymore so let's get this started. Why not have our three contestants say a little something about themselves? Let's start with A-ko."
"I am merely here as a favor to someone because she didn't want to come on alone."
"Well, still nice to have you here with us, A-ko! B-ko, what about you?"
"I can't believe you're actually doing this. This is so pathetic, even for you."
"Are you calling me pathetic, Jaku–"
"And C-ko! Your turn!"
"I promised my friend I would come on."
"Whew! What a couple of introductions right? So, Sanageyama-senpai, you have ten minutes to ask each contestant whatever questions you want and at the end, when the buzzer goes off, you choose who you think is most suited for you! And start!"
"Uh. Right. So, what's your idea of a good time?"
"Ha! Seriously? That's your question? Even Froggy could come up with something better."
"Can we just skip Jakuzu–"
"Her name is B-ko, Sanageyama-senpai!"
"Ugh. Can we skip B-ko?"
"No. Now, A-ko, do you have an answer?"
"Drinking tea and looking out for my little sister."
"Mm! Family is very important! B-ko?"
"Taunting Monkey."
"Dammit Jakuzure!"
"B-ko, Sanageyama-senpai! You aren't supposed to know who they are! That completely destroys the idea of anonymity between you and the contestants! The mystery of it all is what makes it so romantic!"
"But it's Jakuzure!"
"Like I was trying to hide my identity."
"Let's hear C-ko's answer!"
"Hanging out with friends, being able to just relax, and having a good sparring match."
"Excellent answers from all of them! I think we're getting to know them all a lot better now, don't you agree, Sanageyama-senpai? Do you have another question?"
"What quality do you look for the most in a guy –"
"Do you, like, rip these questions off lame dating websites? Are you that desperate?"
"C-ko! I choose C-ko!"
"But, Sanageyama-senpai, you still have a lot of time left –"
"C-ko!"
"But –"
"I am not choosing Jakuzure and I'm pretty sure A-ko is Satsuki-sama. C-ko!"
"Like I want you to choose me, Monkey!"
"Okay! It seems as though Sanageyama-senpai has just made the fastest choice ever made on Hounnoji Academy Love-Love Line! And he's chosen C-ko! Will C-ko please step out from behind the curtains? And it's Ryuko-chan! Congratulations to Sanageyama-senpai and Ryuko-chan for finding love here on Hounnoji Academy Love-Love Line! I'm your host, Mankanshoku Mako, and tune in next time where we help Inumuta Houka-senpai find his girl!"