"No!" I heard my little girl self scream. "Not that one! I want a pink one!"

I opened my eyes, sat upright in my bed and there I was. I was standing there only in my underwear as Dill helped me pick out a dress. I couldn't keep my eyes off of the little girl who stood before me: she was a beautiful girl and I can't believe I didn't recognize her before.

"But you want white!" Dill protested, holding up the dress that I suppose he wanted me to wear. "Bride's wear white."

"Well, I'm a bride and I want to wear pink!"

"Okay," Dill huffed as he gave up and hung my white dress back on the rack. "But don't come crying to me when Hank divorces you!"

"If he divorces me over that, he's stupid!"

I couldn't help but laugh at this scenario playing out. I could have swore that this actually happened to me and maybe it did. I laid on the other end of my bed as I watched little Dill get up on his tiptoes and grab my pink dress. I giggled at the sight of him trying to help me put it on.

"You got to button me because I can't," little me told him.

"It's a good thing I can or I don't know what you would do," little Dill said as he did what he was told.

"Hurry up, Hank and Jem are waiting for me!"

"I'm going, I'm going! There you go."

"Good, now walk me down the aisle!"

I laughed out loud when I heard my little self say that. I was a fiesty little shit! Little Dill took little Scout by the hand and lead her down the hallway. He was always there for me like that. I got up from the bed and looked down the hall where little Jem was waiting to officiate my wedding and little Hank was waiting to be my husband.

"Dum-dum-dee-dum," Jem began to hum loudly.

"Wait!" Dill hollered as he ran to the bathroom.

"Oh, come on, Dill!" Hank hollered. "I want to get married!"

"Shut up!" little Scout yelled. I had to stifle my laughter but I lost it when Dill came running out of the bathroom with a white towel from the towel rack and put it over my head as if it were a veil. I watched as Dill took her by the hand and ran her down the aisle. Jesus, what a kid he was!

"Have at her!" Dill yelled in Hank's face as he ran to the couch to sit down.

"Dearly beloved," Jem began as he cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today to celebrate this man and this brat..."

"Hey!"

"...In holy matri-matri-marriage! In holy marriage. Now do you, Henry Clinton take Jean Louise Finch to be your awfully wedded wife?"

"Hey!"

"I do."

"Now do you, Jean Louise BullFinch take Henry Clinton as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"How come you ain't picking on him?"

"Do you or don't you already?"

"I do, okay!"

"Dill, do you have the Cracker Jack box ring for Scout?"

"Yup," Dill said as he walked back to Hank with my ring and he stayed there while Jem proceeded with the rest of the ceremony.

"Now, Hank, put that ring on Scout's finger," he ordered.

"Okay," he said as he slipped the ring on litte Scout's middle finger of all fingers. "Can I kiss the bride now?"

"No!"

Dill said that, not Jem. Before I knew it, Dill grabbed little me by the face and kissed me hard.

"Hey," Hank said as he shoved Dill. "This is my wedding!"

"I want to kiss her, though!"

"Well, you can't!" Hank hollered.

"Yes, he can!" little Scout yelled as I shoved Hank.

"Don't shove your husband," Jem said as he shoved little me.

"Don't shove your sister," little me said as I shoved him.

"What's going on in here?" Atticus said as my dream began to fade out with all four of us yelling and shoving each other.

I woke up with thrust of energy and I sat up to see Atticus in the doorway. He looked at me rather concerned but I felt a smile on my face that wouldn't go away. I went to brush some hair away from my face but my hair was sticky and wet. I must have been crying and laughing at the same time.

"I woke you up, didn't I?" I asked, still smiling.

"I was already awake but yeah, I heard you laughing," he said as he came over and sat on the edge of my bed.

"I had a hilarious dream," I confessed. "Atticus, did we use to play weddings?"

"Once I remember," Atticus remembered with a smile. "By the end of it though, I didn't know if you were playing weddings or wrestling."

"So it really did happen? Funny, I dreamed about it."

"It's funny what occurs to you during times like these," he said, pretty solemn. The smile ran away from my face then.

"Are you okay, Atticus?"

"I will be," he said as he took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

"It's okay not to be okay sometimes, you know?"

"Oh baby," he said with a laugh and a pat on my knee. "Thank you for giving me permission not to be."

"Anytime," I said as I took his hand in mine. I smiled but I couldn't help but think long and hard about what he said: permission...