Week 18
Rachel/Quinn-Lima
Rachel stepped over Sugar as she snuck into Brittany's den and climbed onto the fold out sofa and cuddled up beside Quinn. Sugar had insisted she share the den with Quinn claiming her Aspergers entitled her to special arrangements and had caused such a stink about it Rachel didn't argue. Anything she said would have drawn attention to the fact that she desperately wanted to share a room with Quinn and Quinn couldn't handle them being outed. Not right now. Rachel had been tossed in a room with Tina, Kurt and Blaine but had been unable to sleep. She wasn't used to sleeping around strangers, she was used to sleeping alone, or with Quinn. Wendy hardly ever made it home at night and when she did Rachel was usually already asleep.
Quinn wasn't sleeping either, her eyes were on the door when Rachel walked in. She'd sent her a text a moment ago on the off chance the girl was awake and had lucked out when Quinn answered. Quinn asked her to stop by for a few minutes to cuddle and Rachel couldn't say no. It was their last night together before she head back to New York.
She hated the idea of leaving Quinn in Lima to go back to the city. She'd worked so hard getting out of Ohio to make it to New York and become successful and now that it was actually happening all she wanted was to climb into bed with Quinn and sleep. Fame and stardom seemed an silly trade off.
All her life she'd dreamed of Broadway and success, fame, fortune, riches, and adoration. It had become such a staple of who she was that when she stepped out onto a New York street and encountered her first fan she'd nearly freaked out. The fan was young, probably thirteen or fourteen at the oldest but she was inherently Rachel Berry-ish. Young determined and full of questions. She'd asked a dozen questions most of which Rachel didn't have the answers to and finally left with an autograph and a cell phone photo.
Rachel was shocked by the attention. It was the video. The response to the thing was overwhelming. Rachel had done it as a favor but she hadn't expected anyone to see it. She hadn't said anything, the role hadn't required any dialog. All she'd been asked to do was cuddle up with Pistol Pete and Dog Face in a rented apartment and sit by disinterested while they fought over her. At the end of the video she'd dumped them both for yet another boy. It had taken nearly a full day to shoot but Rachel hadn't expected anything to come of it. It was a favor, and a resume builder.
The performance of Janis Joplin on the other hand she hadn't even remembered doing. She'd gone out with Carol to a blues bar and had practically blacked out afterwards. Watching herself sing was a miserable sight. She only listened to Joplin when she was feeling unusually sad about something and knowing she was fighting with Quinn when it had been recorded only made her performance seem all the more desperate and lonely. When she was sent a link to the video on the internet she'd nearly died from embarrassment. The fact that she was the only one who minded that she was in a drunken stupor only made it all worse. A star making performance fueled by shame and alcohol. Yippie.
"We have to be quiet, Sugar sleepwalks," Quinn said in a whisper as she wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist..
"What!" Sleepwalks. Rachel had never met anyone who actually did that. It was always something she saw on TV, a comedic activity television used for fun.
"That's why she wanted the room with the fewest people in it. She just did like a hundred jumping jacks and ran in a circle while singing the theme to Flashdance."
Rachel chuckled. "Really?"
Quinn fought back a laugh. "Seriously, it's a real thing. I called her name and everything but she didn't even answer me. I bet she won't remember any of it when she wakes up."
"So it's like she's not even here?" Rachel asked playfully.
"No, not with her lying right there. What am I some exhibitionist?"
"We won't see each other for like a month," Rachel began to plead.
Quinn still wasn't convinced. "Not with Sugar sleeping on the floor Rachel."
"I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm going back to New York and Sophie keeps telling me that my life is never going to be the same again. Who knows when we'll get another chance to be alone together."
"What does that mean?"
Rachel shrugged. "That things are changing. I signed an autograph before I left, did I tell you that?"
"No, you didn't. You haven't been telling me much lately. It's like since our fight we're a million miles apart. And with you going back to New York I don't have the time to fix it."
Rachel nuzzled closer. "Nothing's broken. We're fine. I just have to wrap my head around what's going on in my life. And we need to make time for one another."
Quinn offered her a kiss on the face. "All your dreams are coming true. I always knew you could do it. You're a star Rachel. It's your time to shine."
"What about us? What if things change?" It was the one thing that had been bothering her since things started happening for her. Change. Things were going to change and yet they couldn't if she wanted her relationship with Quinn to work out.
"We're going to be fine Rachel."
She sounded like she knew what she was talking about but Quinn always sounded that way. She was so confident and comfortable. Lima Quinn was Wonder Woman. New York Rachel on the other hand was just pretending to be Wonder Woman.
"Why don't you come visit me more? Will you consider doing that?" Rachel finally asked.
"How much more? Once a month is what we decided."
"Every three weeks. That's not too much more but it's more." Rachel had actually done the math, it was at least four more visits a year.
"What's this about Rachel? Am I missing something obvious, because I've mentioned quite a few times that I'm not good with feelings and emotions. We didn't do that stuff at my house. And in the spirit of being a supportive girlfriend I want to help you take over the world. So I'm asking what's wrong so I can say something supportive to help you fix it."
Rachel closed her eyes and did her best to shut off her brain. "Let's just lay here for a while. I want to see Sugar do jumping jacks."
"Fine, but this conversation isn't over."
Week 21
Quinn-Yale
Quinn closed her laptop and checked her clock. 5:02pm. She was late, two minutes late but late none the less. If Quinn had been late Rachel would have freaked, but Quinn wasn't Rachel. She surely wasn't going to freak. Rachel was working, on Broadway, fulfilling her dream. Complaining about a phone call wasn't very supportive. Or helpful.
When her phone rang she answered right away. School had been back in session for a week and Quinn was doing her best to find her stride. Her reviews from her professors for her role in Church of the soul were great. She'd been given an A for her portrayal of Rosanna. Despite her reluctance to take the lead Quinn had fun on stage. It was the first time in months she was able to block everything out and simply have a good time.
"Hello."
"Quinnie baby, this is your dad." Quinn's heart deflated almost immediately. Her father had been calling a lot lately. He'd been taking his role as local big shot to heart these days. He was suddenly on all sorts of committees and local boards and was even talking about running for local office. He was completely ridiculous, acting like he'd invented the wheel. Bragging about his connections. It was making Quinn sick because he was constantly calling and asking questions.
"Daddy, I'm in the middle of something," Quinn said hoping to get him off the phone. She'd much rather talk with Rachel.
"I'll make it quick pumpkin," he said sounding totally silly. Pumpkin. He hadn't called her that in years. "What was the name of that start-up your friend started again?"
"Gecko." A stupid name. Jeff was right about that.
"Did you make him sign those papers you got from Roy?"
Frannie's husband Roy was a lawyer who had given Quinn a stack of papers to make Ollie's new programmer sign so he wouldn't get scammed. Quinn's biggest fear had been forgetting something and ending up in court one day explaining why SHE was given such a huge responsibility and how she'd blown it. To combat this she'd asked Roy for advice and he'd jumped at the chance to help. He'd given her a stack of papers to have the kid sign. She'd done as she was told and handed everything over to Ollie. He'd responded by sending over paperwork promising two percent of the total company to her and Jeff. Jeff had handled the interview personally while Quinn sat silently and did her best not to say anything stupid.
"Yes daddy. I handed everything over to Ollie."
"Good. Gecko you said?"
"Yes." Quinn said. "It has something to do with some famous trader or something Ollie said. He said it's named after Michael Douglas."
Her father laughed. "Watch the movie Wall Street Quinnie. It's important to what's going on. If your going to be involved you should at the very least know what the hell the company does."
"Daddy this is just some thing they're doing. Jeff and I don't think it's going to go very far." Jeff had used the words train wreck on several occasions as a matter of fact. Expecting this to amount to anything was a mistake. Ollie was a good guy but he had the attention span of a house fly. She couldn't imagine him running any sort of business.
"Don't say stuff like that Quinnie, not out loud. As a matter of fact I think you should invest a little money. True it may be money thrown down the drain but these kids will remember it."
Quinn forced herself from being snide. Her father could do this all day long. Network and plot. Quinn understood what he was saying she just resenting him calling out of the blue interrupting her time with Rachel to tell her this, it was just so random.
"Okay daddy," was all she said. She wasn't sure what else she could say.
"Good. Now tell me which one of these boys you have your eye on. Your mother wants to know."
Quinn did sigh this time. Her mother hadn't asked one question about boys the whole Christmas break. They spoke about a lot of things, clothes, classes, her show, but boys hadn't come up once. Boys hadn't come up since she'd gotten pregnant. It was suddenly a taboo subject for them.
Quinn heard her call waiting click on the phone and her heart leapt. "Daddy that's my call waiting."
"We're almost done pumpkin," he said confidently. Quinn wanted to cry.
She spent the next ten minutes dancing around the subject of boys. She considered telling him the truth, that she wasn't dating boys. If she did that though he'd want to know why. It wasn't a good idea. Instead she listened to him give insulting advice on how to spin her pregnancy into a plus. By the time she finally got him off the phone she felt like she'd needed a shower.
She dialed Rachel back but her phone went straight to voice mail. She left a quick apology and hung up feeling cheated. Her phone chimed with a message reminder and she saw she had a text message from Rachel.
Hey, sorry I was late don't be mad. I called but you didn't answer. I have to get ready to go on so I won't be available for a few hours I'll try and call later. If I don't reach you, I love you. R.
Quinn fought the urge to pout but looked forward to talking to Rachel later.
It was after midnight when Rachel called. Rachel was distracted, laughing and chatting with someone on the other end of the line when Quinn answered her phone. Quinn hadn't gone out partying tonight, she'd chosen instead to spend the night in with Jules catching up. At least that was the excuse she'd been telling herself. Actually she'd been excited to speak to Rachel again.
Jules had began to feel trapped in her fake relationship with Dustin. She claimed to be annoyed by him but Quinn knew better. The truth was she getting lots of attention from boys these days and was starting to wonder if a real relationship was out there. Dustin it seems had done wonders for her reputation. Dustin's reputation as a skirt chasing playboy was now notorious and Jules' seeming taming of him was now the talk of the school. Dustin had even gone so far as to say that Jules was great in bed. Normally this sort of thing would have driven her crazy but Dustin had been sure to explain that the girl wasn't prone to sleeping around and was serious about guys showing her a real commitment before they slept together. According to Dustin she didn't simply 'hook up' but when she did get comfortable with a guy she was a wildcat. Quinn had even heard half the guys calling her Wildcat behind her back. The whole thing was insane but Quinn was sure that when Jules and Dustin finally called it quits she'd be snapped up by another guy in record time. Jules it seems was ready now.
"Quinn hey baby," Rachel said eagerly. She sounded a bit slurred but Quinn didn't mention it. It was after midnight on a Friday night. Of course Rachel had been drinking.
"How was your show?" Quinn had been forcing herself to be more attentive to Rachel's feelings. The girl was keeping her cards close to the vest and it was starting to get annoying. She figured if she could close the gap between them Rachel would be more open and more likely to share her secrets.
"Great. It was unreal. It was everything I ever wanted it to be. I wish you were here. I was born to be on that stage Quinn."
"I'm coming up to see it next weekend."
Rachel said something to someone in the background and began to laugh.
"Who is that? Wendy?"
Rachel laughed harder. "God no. This is Myra. She's the new Wendy. Wendy dropped out when she got her recording contract."
Myra. She sounded nerdy and boring Quinn thought to herself. "She sounds like a hoot."
"She's great. She's a singer too Quinn. She's new to NYADA this semester."
They were having such a good time Quinn wasn't sure if she should hang up now or not. She was starting to feel like a third wheel, even though Rachel had been the one to call. Instead she chose to change the subject and regain control of the conversation.
"So you like the show? I mean of course you had fun but did you actually enjoy the role."
This was the sort of question Rachel would usually prattle on about for twenty minutes. Tonight was different though.
"Yeah, it's okay. Oh, did I tell you that Sophie is getting interest from Record companies?"
"Record companies? I thought you wanted to be a Broadway Star. A recording artist is a totally different thing Rachel. Are you sure you're up for that? It would leave you very little actual time to do Broadway."
This seemed to get under skin. "Sophie says I can do both." There was a hint of something in her tone that Quinn had become quite familiar with lately. Annoyance. Instead of arguing she simply said okay.
"Well good. I hope it works out, look Rachel I have to go to bed, we have auditions for the second semester play in the morning and I want to be ready."
"Oh yeah?" Rachel asked. She sounded skeptical but Quinn ignored it.
"Yeah we're doing The Deadline. I'm going for the editor role."
"Deadline? Don't you guys do any musicals?"
"This isn't NYADA Rachel, this is an acting program. Musical theatre is a whole other thing, you know that. I don't want to be a singer."
Rachel made a funny sound with her mouth. "You don't want to be an actress either remember but yet there you are."
Quinn wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. Instead of picking a fight and asking she simply decided to cut the conversation short. Fighting with Rachel on the phone was sometimes fun but tonight it was getting under her skin.
"Rachel I have to go, I'll talk to you later."
"Next weekend," Rachel said finally sounding a bit sad that the call was ending.
"I'll see you then too, I'm coming to your show, don't forget."
"I won't. Love you." Rachel said.
"I love you too."
Week 22
Rachel-NYADA
Sophie was tapping away on her Black Berry as Rachel stared at herself in the mirror. She'd been doing the show for a week now and the butterflies she felt before every show were like old friends at this point. The audience was like an old shoe, uncomfortable at times but so familiar she couldn't imagine her life without it.
Sophie tucked a strand of her loose blonde hair behind her ear and crossed her legs for the fiftieth time since she'd come into the room. Sophie was in her early forties but you couldn't tell that by looking at her. The first time Rachel laid eyes on her she thought the woman in her late twenties at best. Smart pretty and tastefully dressed the woman was a force of nature. Sophie was a manager's manager. She wanted to be kept in the loop about everything and Rachel was more than happy to oblige. Rachel had grown to trust her implicitly and Sophie always had a trick up her sleeve.
Today that trick had gone missing. When Sophie finally cursed to herself Rachel finally allowed herself to worry. Sophie was always in crisis but she never cursed.
"What happened?"
"Myra, is what happened. You're getting a new roommate ASAP. . She posted on Facebook about you. Did you know that? Rachel's GF is coming for a visit so I have to make myself scarce this weekend."
Rachel didn't see the harm. "So."
"So! Rachel this isn't just about Broadway anymore. This is your whole career. It's one thing to be a lesbian and not confirm it, A la Jodie Foster. It's another to be out. This girl has just outed you. It's already starting. Bill just sent me a text telling me to handle it."
Bill the record company guy was always calling it seemed. "This is New York Sophie nobody cares that I'm gay."
Sophie was out of her seat and closing the distance between them. "Rachel sweetheart it's not just about New York anymore. A recording contract is national. Downloads are international. Nobody cares on Broadway, there's an unwritten rule that nobody outs anybody else, but we're not just talking about Broadway anymore. And Myra just set us back. Whether she knows it or not nobody will ever trust her in this town. Everybody is reading what she wrote about you and nobody is ever going to share anything with her again. Between the two of us I'd be surprised if anybody ever hired her in this town. She'll make people uncomfortable forever. One Facebook post Rachel, that's all it takes, one mistake and its all over. That's the thin line we're dealing with."
Rachel didn't see the doom and gloom like Sophie did but she trusted her agent. "So what do we do now, I can have her try and take the post down?"
"Bill said handle it so I have to handle it. I have a car picking up Quinn and taking her to my apartment. From now on you two are never to be seen together in public."
"What? Quinn won't like that." Rachel knew Quinn would hate it. Even if she agreed with Sophie's opinion she'd hate being told what to do.
"Rachel this is about her as much as you. Those Upper East side Blue Bloods she's tight with will not be okay with her being gay. Their kids may be okay with it, but they won't be. And their parents are the ones holding the purse strings. I think you both should reevaluate what it is your doing. Sometimes hiding is okay. From now on when she wants to come see you the two of you can meet in my apartment. Nobody will bother you there, it's on the West side."
"Sophie," Rachel started to say.
"Rachel trust me. Once you're established we can loosen the strings a bit, but until then you have to do what you're told. You're under contract."
"Not yet, we haven't signed the deal with Bill's people yet."
Sophie reclaimed her seat and re-crossed her legs. "Yeah but you are going to do it. You know you want to. Broadway is the first stop on a long train. And even if you try recording and it doesn't work out the way you want it you can always come back to New York. There isn't a person in this business here who wouldn't take this shot. Trying and failing isn't a bad thing in New York, not even trying is toxic in this town Rachel. Nobody will respect you if you don't at least give it a shot. Barbra did it all, movies, Broadway, recording, all of it. So did Bette Midler. It's the smart play here Rachel."
"That's a cheap shot, bringing up Barbara."
Sophie began typing away on her Blackberry again. "Hey this is business. Win or go home. And you should call Quinn and tell her what's going on. I have a guy coming to escort you to dinner tonight. He plays on your team and he got the same speech from his agent this morning that I just gave you. Quinn may be upset seeing you with a boy so if you're smart you'll smooth it over before hand. But that's up to you. I'm an agent not Dr. Phil."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Dr. Phil has tact."
"Don't be mad at me, I said that I'd make you famous not that I'd fix your love life. You can be as miserable as the rest of us as far as I care."
"I don't understand," Quinn said as she looked around Sophie's apartment. "It's some post from some girl that nobody even knows. And you said she took it down. Now you have to move out and we have to go to DEFCON One."
"Quinn it's necessary. Sophie says."
"Who the hell is Sophie that she gets to make all the rules? I don't take orders from Sophies. Or from Rachels for that matter." Quinn was freaking out. Rachel had expected her to but there was something about actually seeing it first hand that always put her on edge. She expected to be called Man Hands or Treasure Trail at any moment.
"Quinn stop," Rachel said softly.
"And who the hell is this boy? Skuzzball part II?"
"Quinn it's just business, and not only that he's gay. I told you that."
Quinn shrugged and gave the room a closer look. "This is a really nice place." Her sour mood had seemed to dissipate right away. Knowing Quinn it would rear it's ugly head at the most inappropriate time.
"She makes a very comfortable living. She's always working though. Non stop."
"She gets to tell you what to do non stop too now huh. Must be nice."
"What is this about already? Did you come all the way down here to start a fight with me? I thought we were supposed to be having fun."
Quinn gave the room another look then offered Rachel one of her patented phony smiles. "We are having fun."
Rachel shook it off. Quinn was always doing this, as soon as things got a tad bit uncomfortable she went all Lima on her and shut down. It was a constant pain the butt and always causing a problem for them. She was always wondering if something she said or did would set Quinn off. It made her afraid to say anything most days.
"Fine, then let's have some fun. Put your bags in the back room and let's go cuddle."
"Maybe I don't want to cuddle," Quinn said defiantly.
"Great, if you decide to grow up anytime tonight I'll be in the back bedroom."
Rachel felt Quinn's hand slip through her hair and she forced herself not to scoot away. The constant fighting was getting old fast. The last thing she wanted to do was spend half of their time together bickering about nonsense but Quinn seemed insistent on fighting with her about every single thing.
Instead of fighting against Quinn's touch Rachel rolled over and opened her eyes taking the girl in her sights. She was red eyed as if she'd been crying but there were no tears. She closed her eyes instead of comforting her and forced her mind to shut off. She could use the release, she'd missed Quinn so much but now more than anything she missed her touch. They'd talk tomorrow. Tomorrow was another day.
Week 23
Quinn-Yale
"A record deal? Like a real record deal?" Jules asked.
Quinn nodded with a smile doing her best not to show her annoyance. A record deal. A freaking record deal. It was like Rachel had forgotten the whole reason she'd gone to New York in the first place. Getting famous so she'd have an easier time finding work and making a living was one thing. Getting a record deal was another. How was she supposed to take on Broadway from MTV studios?
"Yeah, it's really exciting. I mean most of us don't have a billion dollar empire to fall back on."
Jules didn't take offense. She hadn't been taking offense for months now, no matter how hard Quinn prodded the girl was cool as ice. It was almost as if she'd become immune to Quinn's surly demeanor. The same thing had happened to Santana and Brittany back in Lima. The whole Glee club in fact had learned to ignore her mood swings. As a result Quinn knew she could get away with being a little nicer to the girl. As long as she threw in a verbal barb here and there Jules didn't seem to want to make waves.
"Well you should get her something nice like flowers or something. Or plan something romantic as a surprise. She'd like that."
It was good advice but Quinn wasn't about to let Jules tell her what to do. "Thanks but I don't think I'm going to be taking advice about romance from a girl dating a gay guy."
Jules simply stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "Okay what don't I know?"
Quinn laughed. "I can fill a library with the things you don't know."
Jules ignored her. "Are you guys fighting again? God you two fight more than my mom and my dad's mistress."
Quinn wasn't sure if that was a joke or not but she laughed. "Your dad has a mistress?"
Jules shrugged. "Of course," she said as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"And your mom knows. Why doesn't she divorce him?"
Jules laughed. "Are you kidding? My mom isn't going to leave daddy. Why would she? She doesn't care that he has a girlfriend. She told me most guys cheat anyway it's better that they keep things somewhat civil and organized."
Quinn couldn't believe her ears. Her mother had been heartbroken when she found out about her father's affair. She'd done everything a good wife was supposed to do in her mind and yet he still strayed. She took this as a fault in his DNA instead of her own self worth. That's why Quinn was so surprised when she'd taken him back. It was a betrayal of everything she'd been taught.
"I thought you said they fight all the time," Quinn questioned.
Jules laughed. "Not over HIM. My mom lives in Burbank, my dad's girlfriend lives in New York, they never have to see each other. They fight over silly things like who gets to buy what Chanel bag and who gets what week of vacation in July. They call each other names and bicker but they actually like one another. Although neither will admit it."
Quinn's mind was going to explode but instead of asking another question her phone rang. Rachel's call.
"Hey."
"Hey you. I just got a few minutes so I thought I'd call. What are you up to?"
"Talking to Roommate about her dad's mistress."
"So the show's going well. I finish my run in a couple of days and I move on to the next thing. I have to meet with a producer about a song."
Supportive. Be supportive. "That's great Rachel."
Rachel apparently didn't think it was so great. "That's the thing. It's in California."
"California? You're going to California now?"
"Quinn it's for my career."
Quinn sighed. "I know. Good luck I guess."
Rachel sighed this time. "You know what maybe we should talk later."
Quinn didn't have the strength to argue today. "If you don't want to talk to me you don't have to pick a fight. I'll call you next weekend."
"Fine. I love you."
Quinn let herself chuckle. "Are you sure?"
Rachel scoffed. "Of course I'm sure, now stop fighting with me and tell me about your week."
"I thought you were hanging up on me."
"Well I changed my mind. We'll talk about California on Monday but for now let's talk about you. Tell me what's going on with Quinn."
"Rick wrote a feature about me in the school magazine. People to know. Half the school is trying to get to know me."
Rachel laughed. "They have their work cut out for them."
Is it me or are the relationships that give you the most personal growth the ones that annoy you so much that you often consider throwing them away because they're so much work? I don't think poor Rachel and Quinn realize how very good they are for one another. It's funny, great things happen for them when they're together but they're both too blind to see it. Since this story is ending soon (Yeah I know it may feel abrupt but if you've read my stories before you know I tend to do that) let's see if we can give them some personal growth. Of course it won't come easy but let's face it, if love was easy everybody would have it!