The sound of ink on paper can be heard scratching.
Nothing of interest happens today, but at night…
THE VENGEFUL CONTRACT
Escape the nightmare
"Hey, kid. This contract is kind of special."
"What do you mean, isn't this just a copy of Security Breach?"
"Good guess, but actually no. It might seem like Security Breach, but it's even harder!"
"Please, I've already beaten this challenge in the game."
"Ah, but this one is special. You see, aside from the penguins and owls those peck neck directors recruit, their newest star is also a target you have to avoid. Get caught by her and it's an instant death and a reset back to the beginning!"
Lincoln gulps nervously.
"Still think you can shake your tail feathers on out of here?"
The challenge is even harder since Lincoln is nowhere near acrobatic enough to even perform dives like Hat Kid can!
"Let's mak' this movie happen! Owls! In position! Action!"
Oh no, that peck neck Conductor is nearby making his prequel remake of the reboot of the first western he's ever made. It appears that this means that DJ Grooves will win the 43th BMA, since not even birds like pre-sequel remakes of reboots. DJ Grooves' movies may be hot garbage, but at least they're original! Lincoln sneaks past production and moves on to the next section of the studio.
He has to disable the electronics to slip past some of DJ Grooves' lackeys, but since the switch is broken, he gets electrocuted each time he uses it! Thankfully, he only had to use it once. Lincoln still has 3 HP left, but he hears something that wasn't there originally.
"What happened to the lights? The avian public can't see my beauty!"
Lincoln swears that sounded like Lola, but there's no way Jonas Kaerlev knows who any of them are (not to mention the Snatcher killed him already) since he's in Denmark. Something is amiss. Well, at least the cutscene shows that Lola has a vision cone three times bigger than any bird (which is weird, since birds have better eyesight).
The homing rockets start to track Lincoln and he can't exactly dodge…
But he's near the end, so he manages to persevere and complete part one of the contract! With 1 HP left, too!
"Amazing job! We got some quality footage, but now for part two."
Snatcher teleports Lincoln to his arena, a broken tiara is shown on the floor.
Uh oh…
"LINCOLN!"
Suddenly, Death Wish music starts playing!
He immediately gets whacked with an umbrella. Adding another death.
"Hey, number 27! That's a new record!"
Restarting the battle again, the contract updates itself.
THE VENGEFUL CONTRACT
*Is it getting hotter in here, or is it just me?
Main objective: Defeat your sister
The bonuses are scratched out.
"Kid, you sister has the powers of some alien that defeated me ages ago. If she can beat me, you'll never be able to win!"
Snatcher was right! Not only does Lola have an umbrella; She also has all of Hat Kid's hats! Lincoln got 2 more deaths from getting killed by the ice and brewing hats, but eventually, he managed to deal 10 hits to her!
Mist covers the arena and Lincoln can barely make out Lola's silhouette.
"Damn you, Lincoln…"
"I feel… so weak…"
Please…have mercy…"
"Please…"
Lincoln investigates closer
"Chill out!"
A shadowy talon extends from the mist and turns Lincoln into an ice sculpture!
The contract reveals the bonus objectives.
THE VENGEFUL CONTRACT
*Is it getting hotter in here, or is it just me?
Main objective: Defeat your sister
Bonus: Defeat my crazy ex-girlfriend (is this even possible?!)
Bonus: Do it with only 1 HP
"Was that…?!"
"Yes, kid. I made a contract with her to amplify your fun! You should be grateful! Now, we're going to be watching the fight 250 meters away from here. Let's see if we can get to 200 deaths!"
"What was the contract?"
"Trust me, you do not want to know. Back to dying now!"
Well fuck, Lincoln not only has to deal with an enraged Lola. He now has to deal with the scourge of Subcon Forest herself, Queen Vanessa! She was unkillable in the original game, so is it even possible to defeat her now?!
Vanessa's attacks consist of summoning a hailstorm of icicles to impale him, summoning a blizzard to obscure vision, transforming into her shadow demon form to slice him, turning him into an ice sculpture just like in the original game, rushing him and to freeze him from the inside out!
Lincoln would just like to defeat Lola, bring her back to her senses and finish this sadistic syndication that the Snatcher setup! Vanessa takes 20 hits to defeat, but she has at least 3 different one hit kill moves!
After clocking 8 more hits on Lola, she uses the time stop hat to use a dead Jojo meme, as well as combo Lincoln! He dies from this attempt as well. As well as about 56 more times due to sucking, or getting killed by one of Vanessa's one hit kill moves. Eventually he manages to knock Lola out and finish the contract!
CONTRACT COMPLETE!
And with that, every contract is complete! Lincoln and Lola escape the nightmare, leaving Snatcher to contemplate his next move…
Death count: 87