A/N: I'm baaaaack! So, I had refrained from putting long author's notes on my last few chapters because I thought I might be annoying you all.
But I know, deep in your hearts, you've all probably missed them.
Probably.
Well, brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one! Well, okay, to you spoil sports out there: you may skip my insightful note. I will forgive you. Well, actually, I won't know. I'll just assume you all read it.
So here we go.
My computer went kaput a few weeks ago, and all my files went... Into the great unknown. I've dropped it at a local techno place, so we'll see, but... I don't know. Keep your fingers crossed.
Anyway, I typed this here thing on my phone!
Here is the story of how this fic came to be:
Me: Ya know, I don't need to write! Maybe this is a sign. I shouldn't feel pressure... I'm not obsessed or anything. I can break away. Any time. Any time at all.
*phone rings* *It's TWW theme song*
Me: The call of my people!
And so. I typed a fanfiction on my phone.
I am obsessed. I cannot break away.
OH WELL.
...Anyway, love you all! I'll try to have more up soon, regardless of whether I get back my precious files.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I do not own TWW. As previously stated, I typed this on my cell phone.
Reviews: I love my reviewers as though they were family. (Reviewers, if you're creeped out, it's okay. Don't fight the love.) Feedback is always appreciated!
And without further ado, here is... A thing!
Yay!
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxxxXxXxXxXx
Having finished coffee with Colin, Lisa makes her way slowly upstairs to her daughter's room. Their conversation had done little to ease her anxiety, which is currently rising with every step toward the closed door. But the instant she can see through the tiny window, she's awash with relief.
Her daughter's eyes are open, a tired smile on her face. Her lips are moving, only slightly, but at least she's talking. That's surely a good sign. And, of course, there's Josh. Sitting on the bed beside her, his back to the window. One arm is across her hips, the other hand on her arm. He's leaning in very close.
She almost doesn't want to disrupt the scene.
But she does anyway. This is her daughter.
Upon her entrance, Josh stands up quickly, as though she's of tantamount rank to the president. He shoves his hands in his pockets. "Hey, Mrs. Moss."
Donna's face lights up. "Mom!" She holds out her arms and Lisa rushes forward to hug her. She feels her daughter wince beneath her and draws back.
"Oh god, sweetie, I'm sorry."
"No, I'm fine. I'm fine." Donna smiles at her reassuringly.
"You're fine." Lisa feels tears rolling down her cheeks of their own accord. "You're... awake."
"I'm awake."
"God, I was so worried, I... They said there might be permanent..." Her voice becomes lost in her tears.
"I'm fine, mom. I'm still here."
At this, her gaze flicks past her mother for just a moment. Lisa takes notice.
Wiping her face with a sleeve, she turns around to face Josh. "Josh. It appears you're still here as well."
He smiles slightly. "Yeah."
"Good of you to stay. I can't remember if I asked when I first arrived, everything was very... Well. How long have you been here?"
"Uhh.." He's losing track of time. Uh-oh.
"Well, he's been here since the first time I woke up. A day or two ago." Donna supplies.
"Longer." He says softly. "Night before that."
"Wow." Lisa says appraisingly. "That's a long time to take off work."
"I guess so." He shrugs.
Lisa scrutinizes the man before her. He looks nearly as ill as her daughter. "When's the last time you ate something, Josh?"
"Hmm?" His gaze had drifted to Donna again. "Oh. I don't know. I think I had breakfast."
"It's 11:30 at night, Josh."
"So it's been awhile." He attempts a small smile.
"...would you like to go and get something?" She prompts.
"I'm fine."
"Josh." Donna speaks up now.
"Yeah?" He looks at her with concern.
"Go eat something."
"Oh. Okay." He starts for the door. "I'll uhh, be back."
Lisa stands as well. "I'll be back in a second, dear." She says to Donna. "Josh, a word?"
He looks mildly worried, but mostly tired. "Yeah. Okay."
They stand outside Donna's room, closing the door behind them.
"Josh?"
"I'm so sorry, Lisa."
She looks at him in surprise. This is one of the few times he'd ever used her first name, despite numerous requests. "What do you mean?"
He runs a hand over his face. "I.. I didn't know this would happen, I had no idea when I sent her, I really thought she'd be safe, this is all my-"
"Josh."
"Yes, Mrs. Moss?" Ah. Back to the title.
She smiles softly. "Josh, I don't blame you. It's not your fault."
"You don't?"
"No. And you shouldn't either." She reaches out a hand to touch his shoulder. "I was actually going to thank you."
"Thank me?"
"You have no idea how much easier it made things to know that you were here with her. And calling us, when all we'd been hearing up until that point was abc news... It meant a lot to us. It was all we had. And that she woke up to a familiar face, had someone to care for her..."
"I think Colin had the greater effect on her there." He says semi-bitterly, seemingly unable to restrain himself.
She smiles softly. "You'd be surprised. Anyway, the fact that you flew halfway around the world at a moments notice... That's really something, Josh. Thank you."
"I... No problem. Yeah, I mean, I... didn't really think much about it. I just came."
"We're grateful."
His face reveals all that he's been through in the past few days. The stress, the anxiety, the tragedy, sporadic elation, hope. The whole roller coaster. "No problem."
She wraps her arms around him, hugs him tightly. After a moment, he returns the embrace, and they take solace in each other for a moment.
She smiles at him when they break apart. "Alright, Josh. Go get something to eat. Take care of you."
"Yes ma'am." He mock salutes, and walks away slowly.
Lisa turns back to the room, brushing away another tear. Donna looks up at her entrance.
"Hey, mom."
"You really should just marry him, already."
Her daughter looks at her skeptically. "You really liked Colin that much?"
She sighs with exasperation. "Oh, Donnatella, you know who I'm talking about."
Donna shifts guiltily. "Mother."
"Fine. I won't say anything. Other than that he loves you, and it's obvious, and I'm sure that you love him, despite your protests, and you shouldn't let work get in the way of something like this." Lisa says all in one breath.
"Mom."
"Yes?"
"You just said you wouldn't say anything."
"Oh. Well, I'm done now." She takes the seat beside her daughter's bed, gripping her hand. "How are you feeling?"
Donna snorts. "I love how that's the second thing you say."
Lisa sighs. "Obviously a little better, as your sarcasm has returned." She answers her own question.
Donna smiles. "I'm alright, mom."
"Good."
They chat for a while longer, slowing drifting into amicable silence. After a while, Donna begins to notice her mother's eyes drooping.
"Mom. You're tired."
"What? No I'm not."
"It's going on 12:30, and you're jet lagged. You should go to your hotel, get some sleep."
Lisa seems to debate this for a moment. "I would fight this out with you, but something tells me that Josh will be back any minute to hover over you."
"Mom-"
"I wasn't going to say anything!"
"Good."
"Other than that I will gladly pay for the wedding."
Donna looks away, blushing. "You did it again, mom. The whole promising not to talk and then talking."
"Oops." Lisa bends down to give Donna a kiss on the forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetie. I love you. Be well."
"You too, mom."
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Lisa's prediction, as luck would have it, was correct. (Well, all of her predictions were correct, in the long run, really, but we're talking about the short term). Josh walks in within about ten minutes of her exit.
"Hey. Your mom still here?" He resumes his earlier position on the edge of her bed, gazing into her eyes.
"No, she left. To get some sleep." She gives him a slight smile, secretly glad that her mother was right.
"Ah. Okay. How you feeiing?"
"I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Josh."
"What?"
"Maybe you should do the same."
"Do the same what?"
"Go get some sleep."
"Oh." His eyes don't leave hers. "Nah, I'm good."
"You look exhausted." She persuades half-heartedly. It was her job to take care of Josh, but right now... she kind of just wants him to stick around.
"Really? I think I look great."
"Not so much."
"Well, compared to you." He gives her a teasing grin, which she returns gratefully.
"Hey. I was blown up a couple days ago, remember?"
His gaze darkens only briefly. "Well, considering that... Actually, no, even without considering that, you look great."
She laughs. "Okay. Now I'm thoroughly convinced that you're sleep deprived."
"What do you know? You're high."
"Fair enough."
"I'm not going to leave you here alone." He says adamantly.
"Josh, I'm in a hospital. There are doctors, and nurses-"
"-And me." He smiles at her slightly.
She sighs. "Okay, Josh. Have it your way."
"Ah-kay." He stands. "...do you really want me to rest up?"
"Yes." No.
"Well then, scoot over."
Her face breaks into a grin of its own accord. "Josh."
"What?"
"No."
"Donna, quit being so lazy. All you had was a compound fracture and a pulmonary embolism. Now move your ass."
"A multiple compound fracture, Joshua."
"Whatever."
"That's where the bone protrudes from the skin in multiple places-"
"-Okay, okay!" He scrunches up his face and she laughs. "I get it, now will you please move over?"
She sighs, mock-disgruntled. She starts to move to the right side of the bed. "I'm pretty sure this is against hospital policy."
"Nurse ratchet can kiss my ass." He says as he climbs in beside her, on top of the covers. He's careful not to upset the set-up of her broken leg. "We did this all the time when I was shot."
"Yeah. We did."
"And let me tell you, it made me feel better."
"It did?"
"Yeah. You good?" He looks her over, making sure all the tubes and things are still in place.
"Yeah. You?"
"Oh, never been better." He settles back against the bed, which is still angled upward for a reclined seated position. "Do you want me to lower this thing?"
"No. Just sit with me."
"Ah-kay." After a moment, he offers his right hand. She accepts, interlocking her fingers with his. They rest their clasped hands between them. "Hanging in there?"
"Yeah." She smiles. "I'm feeling pretty good."
"Good."
They stay like this for god knows how long. Donna is the first to fall asleep.
Josh, in his semi-awake state, thinks vaguely that this really does remind him a lot of when he was shot. Not the position, not the smell of antiseptic; rather, the freedom of their dynamic.
It was like a twilight time, veiled and enchanted. Their were no questions asked, no second guesses. Just the two of them, together, needing each other. And it was only in this unsustainable twilight realm that this was okay.
An incredibly bittersweet feeling arises inside him.
He dreads the day that they will have to return to reality, though of course he wants her to recover. She'd adapted after his recovery, surely he could do the same.
Though he was certain he'd do so with much less grace.
This was going to be hard for him.
He thinks of what Colin had said, and knows that never, never again will he take her for granted.
He loves her.
He's just not sure how he's supposed to deal with that.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
A nurse, "Nurse Ratchet", passes by the room of the young blonde at about 3:00 am. Surveying the scene in front of her, she changes the IV as quietly as she can with a small smile on her face. No need to tell any one about this. Despite the fact that the man was utterly obnoxious about his cell phone use, she must admit, they look pretty adorable there. Her head on the inside of his shoulder, his arm around her and his chin resting on top of her head.
I mean, it wasn't hurting any one. It would be their little secret.
At around 6:00, another man walks by her new favorite room. A handsome fellow. He peers inside, and seeming to debate something within himself for a few minutes, he walks away. He sits down in one of the chairs and pulls out something to write with.
Nurse Ratchet strolls over inconspicuously. She takes the seat beside him.
"You a friend of hers?"
"Yeah." He smiles, with the smallest hint of sadness.
"They're pretty darling, don't you think?"
"Oh, entirely darling." He says in a charming Irish accent.
He writes for a just a minute longer before handing her a folded page. "I've gotta run. But... Will you tell her I was here? Give her this?"
"Sure thing. You take care, now."
"You too."
Nurse Ratchet (her real name is Kathy, but she's rather embraced the title) resumes her strolling, occasionally checking in on the pair. At one point, they're awake, talking quietly and laughing.
She bustles in (discreetly, of course) to "check" on the monitors.
"Josh, you're probably screwing up the readings."
"Why, do I make your heart race?"
"Oh yes, that's definitely it." The blonde says sarcastically.
"I knew it."
"A little full of yourself, don't you think?"
"Nah, never." He looks up at Kathy/Nurse Ratchet. "She doing okay?"
Nurse Ratchet melts. His face is so full of concern. "Yupp, all looks good. You want any more morphine, sweetie?"
The blonde ponders this. "No, you know, I think I'm okay."
Josh turns to look at her. "You sure? You've gotta be in pain."
"Not too much." She says softly. "Do you have anything weaker? I don't wanna be high the whole time I'm here."
"Donna, if you need morphine-"
"I'm fine." She says firmly.
He looks at her with resignation. "Alright. If you're sure." He holds her a little tighter, perhaps subconsciously.
"Yeah. I'm good." She smiles at him.
"It's probably just because you're high on my charm."
She snorts. "Somehow, I don't think so."
"I do."
"Well, then you're high."
"Only on you."
She blushes. "Oh, shut up, will you?"
"Ah-kay."
Kathy starts. She probably should've left the room a couple minutes ago, not stayed smiling dopily at the couple.
"I'll go, uhh, get you some other meds."
"Thanks." They say simultaneously.
Later, at around eight, an older woman ambles in and peers through the window, her expression rather akin to Kathy's. Nurse Ratchet walks over, her own grin in place.
"You her mother?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes. I'm Lisa."
"I'm Kathy, nice to meet you." The women shake hands before resuming their surreptitious watching.
"You've got a nice daughter, ma'am."
"Thank you."
"And you really lucked out as far as son-in-laws go."
The woman turns to smile at her slyly. "You know, Kathy, I truly agree with you."
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Donna,
Love, I had a fantastic time with you in Gaza. You have a unique view on things that really brought perspective to my work, and for that I will be forever grateful.
But I'm sorry to say, this is most likely a good-bye. And I don't just mean my depart from Germany, I mean that I doubt we should pursue this. I would've told you in person, but I was hesitant to wake you. Or Josh.
And there, we've reached the reason for this good-bye. Don't ever think that it was because I lack feelings for you; rather, I have realized that you are not mine for the taking. I know with whom you will be happy, and it is not myself. It is the man I happened across in your hospital bed this morning.
And that's okay.
We had a good long chat while you were in surgery, Josh Lyman and I. I don't think he's overly fond of me, but I can imagine why. Don't ever doubt that he loves you.
And if ever he has trouble getting his act together, don't be shy to call him on it. I already have, so I'm hoping it won't be an issue much longer.
If only I'd met you first. Though, undoubtedly, he would've stolen you from me.
Don't be shy to stay in correspondence. I'd always love to hear from you, as friends.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Yours,
Colin Ayres.