Sasuke didn't see Sakura for a week after their fight, but it wasn't from her attempts at avoidance. She'd been dispatched on another mission and he knew exactly how far away she was just from the tingling of his marks that ran over his skin. He knew the moment that they were returning, because the pain began to ease and the ache in his palms faded.
He knew the moment she was home and for the first time in a long time, he was beginning to feel like he was where he was supposed to be, too.
The next day was normal or at least Sakura did her best to make it seem as such while she made her rounds throughout the village. Only this time they both received stares, hearing whispers when they passed.
Sasuke didn't feel that it was necessary to cover his marks and Sakura was too focused on her duties to care. But it was getting to her, that much he could feel. She hid it well just as she hid everything else.
Sasuke grinned down at the three year old that ran into his arms at the orphanage when they made their way inside. Sasuke wasn't as young as the boy was when he became parentless but he knew that he should've accepted the care that was always offered back then. He knew he should've done a lot of things differently but there was nothing to do to change it except do his best to make sure it didn't end up for this child like it had ended up for himself.
Sakura was curious, her eyes never leaving him as he held the boy's hand while Kazue showed him his pictures and finger paintings.
There was a question on the tip of her tongue but he knew she wouldn't ask, so he answered it so she didn't have to. "I did your duties while you were gone. Although, you'll have to teach me which sweets they prefer, because I got the wrong ones and I've been trying to win back their trust ever since."
Sakura blinked and broke into a smug grin, "That's an S-ranked mission, I'm not sure you're up for it."
"I'm willing to learn."
"Hm." She left it at that, but Sasuke could feel her mood shifting into something more relaxed as they kept moving through town toward another construction site.
She glanced back at him with a smirk, her hair falling loosely out of the bun she had atop her head and Sasuke thought she looked a bit mesmerizing. Never in his eighteen years had he ever used that word to define anything.
"I see you couldn't set the pillars though."
Sasuke tilted his head and looked down at her when they came to a halt, "Of course not. You're the strongest person this village has."
Sakura looked as if she was about to laugh at him, she cleared her throat instead, "It must pain you to be weaker than me."
"It's quite the opposite, but you're still not willing to believe that I mean what I say."
Sakura didn't respond, just took off to help the workers and occupy her mind while Sasuke stood off to the side and watched once more in wonder as she lifted tons of concrete with ease and precision. He started to wonder what else she could do and if maybe one day she would be willing to show him.
There was a point that Sakura would reach where she needed to get away. Away from Sasuke, Naruto, everyone. She would disappear without a trace or at least she used to be able to. Now it was like trying to hide behind a sheet of glass. Sasuke was never too far away, she could feel his distance and was grateful that he gave her enough space, but it still unnerved her to know that there was no escaping him.
The monument was her favorite place to sit and look out at the world and down upon the village she had given so much for. Yet she still felt like she wasn't giving enough.
Maybe the mythical mystery running across her skin wasn't such a bad thing. If the book was true, she could protect everyone, even Naruto. But at what cost? What did joining hands mean for them? They could already speak without words. She didn't like to think about how much more he would be gaining access to if she agreed to go along with it all.
Sakura sighed as she felt Sasuke draw near, "What do you want?"
His footsteps came to rest beside her where she lay staring up at the sky, "Some relief."
She shut her eyes understanding exactly what he meant. The ache in her chest was building like it had each day since they last fought. The feeling of too much energy with no outlet, no release. It was borderline unbearable and he undoubtedly felt the same way.
Sakura fixed the fingerless glove on her hand a bit tighter to protect her palm from his grasp before she lifted one finger up at him and waited. Sasuke reached out and gently touched her fingertip with his own and the pressure on their shoulders faded, like taking the lid off a boiling pot of water.
He sank to his knees with a sigh, lying down beside her once the pull in his chest gave him room to breathe. "Thank you."
Sakura pulled her hands behind her head and focused on the clouds above, "Those are my least favorite words."
A stillness fell over them for the first time in two weeks and it was nice, but the pressure was already building again. It was both infuriating and interesting at the same time. Sakura loved learning about new things, legends, and long lost jutsu. Deep down she wanted to plant her feet and bury herself in research by herself. But she couldn't, not with Sasuke needing to be within three hundred yards of her within the village at all times for the sake of their sanity. She was still his watch, still responsible for him until he was deemed safe.
She never would have defined Sasuke as 'safe'. More along the lines of 'proceed with caution' or 'approach at own risk'. Those were rules to live by for Team Seven.
"We didn't have a childhood did we?" Sasuke interrupted her thoughts.
"Not exactly. We were ninja at a very young age."
"Do you regret it?"
Sakura thought hard about it, but in the end she wouldn't change a thing about her decision to protect the village and everyone in it. At one point that included Sasuke, but the moment he chose not to protect them in return was the moment she accepted reality.
"I only regret who I used to be."
"Hn." Sasuke watched an eagle soar high above them, "You and I both."
"But, ma'am -"
"No buts, Sakura. I order you to spend time with your friends and take time off from your duties." Tsunade folded her hands firmly in front of her.
"I do that already, shishou."
"Other than Naruto, you don't."
Sakura looked down at her feet and decided it wasn't worth the argument she knew she wouldn't win, "As you wish, My Lady."
Hokage-sama wasn't wrong because Sakura couldn't remember the last time she'd spoken to Shikamaru outside of training his genin, or the last time she'd spent the night with her best friend. She couldn't even recall the last time she sat with Sai by the stream while he painted a still life portrait of her that he hung on his wall, adding to his collection of paintings of his friends.
Sakura ran her hand through her hair that she'd let fall freely that day, it tickled the base of her bare back. Through the district she walked aimlessly, Sasuke always vaguely in tow keeping silent and unseen. She was in her own world when Choji walked in her path with a cheerful grin.
"Hi, Sakura! Long time, no see!"
She smiled up at him, noticing that he had Nara and Kiba in tow. "Hey, guys. It's good to see you other than in the hospital."
Shikamaru grinned lazily, "We're off to get some grub, want to join us? We'll split the bill this time, I promise."
Sakura blinked curiously. Somewhere along the way over the years she had forgotten she really did have friends and bonds than existed outside of her own team. It made her slightly cheerful that they wanted her around, "Sure."
Kiba nudged her shoulder as they made their way through town to the hibachi grill, "He can come, too, ya know. We know about the . . . myth thing, whatever you wanna call it."
He gave her a sweet sympathetic grin and she knew he could smell Sasuke, wherever he was.
"I'm not so sure."
"Come on, I'm starving!" Choji whined as he held open the door.
Shikamaru looked up at the rooftops then back down at Sakura, "A man has to eat."
She deflated and rolled her eyes, "Fine."
"Sasuke."
He was behind her in an instant at her call in his mind. Sakura waited by the door, resolve weakening when Sasuke grabbed the frame and held it open like he had done the last time they had eaten together, refusing to move until she went ahead of him.
"Such a gentlemen." She huffed.
He followed her inside ignoring the stares, "My mother taught me to be."
"A good woman." Sakura noted and took her seat, not bothering to gripe when he sat beside her.
Choji squeezed in with them and she felt herself curse as she was pressed into the wall. Sasuke tried not to make an unpleasant sound.
"Gods, give me strength." Sakura said to herself.
"I think you're already maxed out in that department." Sasuke replied in his mind and had the audacity to look over at her and grin.
"Forehead!"
"Hey, Pig." Sakura chuckled as Ino swept her into a hug that was always welcome. She embraced like a mother and there was never a moment when Sakura thought about pushing her away.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in years!" Ino released her, holding her at arms length to assess her looks. "Those marks are so badass, I'm jealous."
Sakura laughed, "Don't be. They hurt like hell and now I have an unwelcome guest inside my head."
Ino grinned slyly, "Speaking of, where is the beautiful traitor?"
"Never too far behind. Get that smug look off your face." Sakura smacked her shoulder and groaned. "I'm leaving."
"No you're not!" Ino tugged and began pulling her in the opposite direction. "Tenten and Hinata are already on their way, we are having a girl's night and there's nothing you can do or say to get out of it."
"I am being punished."
Ino tossed her head back and laughed, "Come on! You used to love doing this."
Sakura gave in and gave Sasuke a blind wave, knowing that he'd understand that he had free will to roam on his own while she was held captive. Although she knew he wouldn't stay far for long, because the moment he moved away she felt the usual unwanted pull in her chest to go too. Her marks hummed in protest but she ignored it the rest of the night.
"Ow." Sakura said emotionlessly. Yanked hair was a pain that she barely felt. Once you'd lived through the worst pain imaginable, a hand through your chest, everything else was miniscule.
Ino paid her no mind and continued to comb through her long pink hair.
"I vote that we give you a Tenten hairstyle. Buns would be cute on you, Sakura." Hinata piped as she painted Tenten's nails and deep shade of burgundy.
"Okay." Sakura played along and let them do as they pleased, even going so far as to stay silent and still while they dressed her face in makeup.
"Gorgeous!"
"Can we take it all off now?" Sakura whined after she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked too much like a princess and it was throwing off her self esteem.
"Don't you like it?" Hinata asked quietly.
"Of course I do, I'm just not used to indulging in this kind of thing. I'd rather be in a cut-off and shorts with my hair doing whatever it wants to."
Ino came up behind her to admire their work, "That's what girl's nights are for. To be silly, dress up for no reason, and have fun for a bit."
Tenten jumped from the bed, "Why don't we go up to the roof and watch the sun set? I brought drinks and some fruit. We can tell each other secrets!"
Sakura sighed and for the second time that day, she gave in and followed them up to watch the clouds turn different shades of pink, purple, eventually to settle into a deep blue that looked so familiar it hurt.
She leaned against the railing as the girls' chatter became distant in her ear. The town outstretched below them was alive with laughter, lights, and faint music. Her fingers reached up and released the pins holding her hair up, until it fell around her shoulders and tried to run away with the wind.
All the while Sasuke's silhouette sat patiently in the distance atop a water tower he'd once destroyed, minding his distance.
The next few days went without incident and Sakura was feeling more like herself other than the fact that she had to stop what she was doing at least twice a day just to let her hand brush Sasuke's to relieve the heavy burden that resided on their skin.
It was part of her duties now and she grew accustomed to it, waking up and stepping through his window to press her fingertips to his shoulder just before he rolled over to start the day.
She fell into the comfort of routine when she's head in for the night and he'd wait in the middle of the road, palm outstretched each time asking, "Take my hand?"
Sakura stopped rolling her eyes at some point, instead choosing to touch the tips of his fingers, giving him that much before saying, "Goodnight, Sasuke."
Sometimes she walked slowly enough to hear him say it back.
It was the most time they'd ever spent together, even more than when they were genin and wildly uneducated in terms of teamwork. But once they learned, she lived by it. It was the only reason they kept running after him. Because they had been a team.
Her naive girlhood crush had festered into something else beyond that of simple attraction. She had cared for him, had wanted to bring him back. More than anything wanted him to know that he still had family even if it wasn't by blood. She wanted him to know that he was still loved and she was a fool to think that her past unwavering devotion would ever die out. Her past self still haunted her.
Sakura had punished herself for it, making sure everyone got what they needed, that the injured always had a healing hand, but made sure she neglected her own needs in atonement for never being able to move on. For this, she felt she deserved all of her misfortune, even if she had been blessed with kind friends and the admiration of the entire village. Her silent suffering was welcome.
Each time Sasuke approached her, gave a warm grin, spoke into her mind, touched her fingertips . . . Sakura felt like she was crumbling inch by inch, failing to rebuild her walls back up quickly enough before he showed up to tear it all down again.
She was losing her resolve, losing the daily fight she had with herself in which she had tried to tell herself that she hated him and wished him dead.
Sakura held it together long enough to eat her Tuesday ramen with Naruto and take another batch of medicine to Kazue at the orphanage before she felt the tears stinging at her eyes. The dam was about to break.
The second she considered saying Sasuke's name, he was there before she could even call him.
"Are you alright?" He asked calmly, knowing she wasn't, but he accepted her lie anyway. If he knew one thing it was that you had to give Sakura her space or her fists would do the talking.
"I'm fine. Go home, please." She took a deep breath, refusing to look at him but he could tell she was holding too much back. "You need to get away from me, Sasuke . . . please."
Sasuke clenched his jaw for a moment before he took a huge risk and reached up to touch his fingertips to the back of her neck, easing the pressure that distance always filled them with. He heard her sigh briefly before she let her head drop.
Sasuke let his fingers slide over her skin until his palm was flat against her neck, the pressure was almost completely gone the longer he held onto her. Sakura stiffened in a split second and spun, eyes glossy. The jade was amplified from the salty tears and once again Sasuke thought she seemed other-worldly.
She slapped his hand away and took a step back and in that moment she was fragile, a much younger version of herself that he had known once upon a time; a girl he almost killed.
"Go home." Sakura repeated herself and didn't wait for Sasuke to leave. She vanished into thin air and for once Sasuke began to understand what she had felt like all those years ago, pleading with him to say anything, to stay. It made him feel sick, ashamed of who he was and who he had been.
Because in the end, all he'd accomplished was murder, broken friendships, and misunderstandings. He'd ruined his own life and pushed away the only people that had truly cared.
For this, Sasuke stood still in the street, enduring the pain that flooded his chest the further Sakura ran. It would never be enough. No punishment would be equal to his fingers brushing past her feverishly beating heart.
Sasuke swallowed his guilt and watched his breath fade with the Autumn air before he made his feet move, taking him home.
Kakashi was tired. He felt like he'd been tired his entire life or perhaps it had just been boredom. Before three kids had interrupted his lazy routine, he hadn't found much purpose. He was awful at taking care of anything, the dead flora on his window sill was a testament.
But when it came to family, his dogs, his three shinobi . . . Iruka. Those were things he wanted to take care of. Those things made him feel awake and aware, cautious of the possibilities that could take them away from him. That gave him purpose.
So, when he heard a light tap on his door and found Sakura looking up at him pitifully like she used to when she was thirteen and full of emotion, he gave her face a gentle brush of his hand and led her inside.
"Kaka-sensei . . ."
Kakashi blinked, momentarily in shock since she hadn't called him that in six years. But he quickly wrapped her up in his arms securely just as she choked and poured her tears onto his shirt. He stroked her hair once he got her to the sofa and pulled her down with him. Sakura sank into his hold and it was good to know that she still trusted him enough to break in front of him.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled against his chest, "I'm sorry I never talk to you like I used to. You kept telling me I wasn't alone and you were right, I just didn't want to accept help that I felt like I didn't deserve."
Kakashi tucked her hair behind her ear, "What made you change your mind?"
Sakura tightened her hold on him, "I used to run to my father when I was upset . . . I can't do that anymore. But, I feel the comfort that he gave me whenever I'm with you, sensei."
Kakashi smiled against her head, "Are you calling me an old man?"
Sakura sniffled but giggled quietly, "No, of course not. You're still relatively spry for a ninja in his thirties."
Kakashi chuckled into the room before he spotted the books he'd forgotten about on his kitchen table, "I have something for you."
She rubbed at her eyes after she pushed herself up, waiting for him as he dug around in the pile of books. He returned with scrolls and two heavy books that were fraying at the spine.
"What's all this?"
"Information about the Phoenix. Or as much as I could find. The scrolls are from Suna and were given to me by Gaara himself. He wishes you luck."
Sakura grinned and ran her hands over the old parchment, "Thank you. I still don't know how to deal with this. Mostly, I don't know how to deal with Sasuke."
Kakashi sat down beside her again, "I know it's difficult after everything he's done and maybe he doesn't deserve to have such trustworthy and incredible shinobi as friends, but he's been alone and I don't think he knew how to deal with it. He didn't think any of us would understand, much like what you're going through, Sakura."
"So, what am I supposed to do?"
"What's the first thing you ever learned from me?"
Sakura looked down at the thick book in her hand and finally understood. Even if she didn't particularly like it, she would do what she had to. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei, for everything."
She tugged one side of his mask down to press her lips to his cheek, then she whispered, "Iruka-sensei is at the door. I'll sneak out the back. You know how flustered he gets when he thinks he's interrupted something."
Kakashi cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips in mock thought, "Then maybe you should go out the front door."
Sakura covered her mouth to keep from scolding him. Instead she hissed as she passed by him to leave through the back. With a loving smack to his head she whispered, "You're such a dog, sensei!"
Sakura smiled to herself the entire walk home. The village was quiet and she was feeling a lot lighter, mentally. Although, physically she was drained as she took the stairs to her apartment instead of jumping up to her balcony window. Her palms were itching again, so she let her chakra flow into her hands to ease the inconvenience.
The sun was going down and as she washed her hands, the books and scrolls were catching her attention where they sat waiting to be read on her kitchen table. The oak furniture that her second captain, Yamato, had made her as a gift when she moved into her new home. It was scuffed from late nights spent sharpening her kunai and threading needles through fabric for Ino who always wanted her clothes to fit just right.
She drifted into her room and slipped into a cut-off and shorts, comfortable, just the way she liked it. Her hair fell down her back once more and as soon as she sank into her bed, a headache formed. It was unusual. She hadn't developed a pain in her head in months. With a sigh she threw her covers back and contemplated.
It wasn't her headache. It was Sasuke's. Kakashi's words fell into her mind.
"What's the first thing you ever learned from me?"
"Teamwork."
Sakura swallowed her sorrows and her pride and got out of the bed. Her fingers flipped the light switch on to her kitchen once more and she called to him.
"Sasuke."
His response was immediate, "Sakura."
"Come over. You're thinking so hard it's making my head hurt. The front door is unlocked."
She didn't have to wait more than five seconds before she heard the door open and silently fall shut. Sasuke was unsure of her motives and she grinned at his uneasiness. "Relax. I'm not going to punch you. Sit down."
So he did, taking a seat at the table eying the book in front of him. He focused on her as she fixed two cups of hot tea. He noticed the lean muscles exposed from her sleepwear, two dimples at the base of her back, thighs that could probably break his neck if she kicked hard enough. Sakura was a petite machine and Sasuke was completely aware. Her black scars were a beautiful contrast to her peachy skin tone.
He bowed his head when she handed him a warm cup and took a seat across from him. Sasuke was doing his best not to thank her for anything since those two words were her least favorite. The same two words he'd left her with.
Sakura grabbed the book and opened the cover, running her fingers over the picture of two figures intertwined, markings displayed over their bodies, wings of chakra tendrils threading together to form wings.
"Kakashi-sensei found these for me," she looked up at him, the man who wasn't so different from her, "for us."
"Us." Sasuke repeated but it was more of a question.
"Us." Sakura gave a small nod, "If we're going to learn what we are then we need to do it together."
Sasuke tapped his fingers against the wood, "We always were the best at teamwork, weren't we?"
"The best."
"Until I shattered it all into a million peices."
"No, just two."
Sasuke looked up at her through hair that was ridiculously long nowadays. Sakura's eyes were filled with memories and she smiled sadly, "Just two. Us and you . . . Sasuke, we will always be Team Seven. Always. Nothing can change the bond we all made when we were kids. That's why it hurt so much when you tried to sever it over and over again."
"You never gave up on me." Sasuke said softly, his voice carrying in the quiet apartment as night fell over the village sending the crickets into an uproar. "Not until I almost killed you."
Sakura tilted her head, face resting on her hand, "Everyone needs a rude awakening and I suppose that was it for the both of us."
"It still keeps me up at night and I hate the sound of birds." Sasuke admitted and Sakura could really see him now. The quiet little boy that had fears and regrets like anyone else.
Sakura let her hand fall to the table, "I hate the color red. That's why I wear black."
"Why did you keep the scar? You could've healed it completely."
"I didn't want to forget."
"How could you ever forget?"
Sakura smirked, holding back a small laugh, "I couldn't, but it does look pretty cool. Ino was head over heels in love with it, I needed something to hold over her head."
Sasuke broke into a smile, "I suppose some things never change."
"No." Sakura stared at him. Sasuke, smiling and vulnerable. It made her heart beat a little faster. "Some things never change."
They were caught in a mutual curiosity, watching each other, trying to figure out what they were and how after all the times they had fought, screamed, and ran from each other . . . how they were still friends in the end.
"So, shall we read over this ancient history together and figure out some way to make this work without killing one another?" Sasuke asked, feeling his marks hum in approval when Sakura sat back and smiled true.
"Sure." Sakura stood and walked to her fridge, "But first, I'm starving and I have enough ingredients for four helpings of tomato and egg stir fry if you want some."
Sasuke got up and without asking where her things were, began pulling pots and pans from her cabinets. He turned with dishes in his hand and met her halfway at the stove where she dumped the ingredients beside them on the counter.
"I'd like that." Sasuke said, then added, "Teach me?"
Sakura glanced up at him with a quizzical brow, "Alright. But I've got to ask, when the hell did you get so tall? You and Naruto both make me feel like a flower in the middle of a forest."
Sasuke gave a small hum as he cracked an egg and emptied it into a bowl, "Sixteen was when I stopped growing. You?"
"Fourteen."
"I'm sorry for missing out on all the things we could've done as a team. I'm sure Naruto made it worth while with his idiocy."
Sakura chuckled as they stood shoulder to shoulder at her stovetop; her cooking, Sasuke observing.
"You have no idea. There are so many stories to tell."
"Tell me."
Sakura found it surprisingly easy to talk to him and that's how they ended the night, laughing at Naruto's shenanigans and flipping through pages of an old book that hopefully held answers for their future.
The smell of stir fry and tomatoes filled the room and Sasuke felt like he had a friend again. One he shouldn't have lost in the first place.
One he wouldn't lose again.