A/N: I'm really sorry for how long it took to get this chapter up! I just feel like I haven' had the time to do much of anything lately. But here it is! Chapter 10, and probably one of my favourite chapters so far.

Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin

XXX

I have nothing left to give
I have found the perfect end
You were made to make it hurt
Disappear into the dirt
Carry me to heaven's arms
Light the way and let me go
Take the time to take my breath
I will end where I began
And I will find the enemy within
Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin
Dear Agony
Just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear Agony
Suddenly
The lights go out
Let forever
Drag me down
I will fight for one last breath
I will fight until the end
And I will find the enemy within
Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

I smiled wide as I parked the truck outside the large stable house and cut the engine.
I hadn't been out to the stables since before Dally died, since I wasn't a fan of winter riding, and I'd been occupied since then.
The stables was my favourite place to come when things were going wrong; everything just seemed so peaceful, and riding around the small track was always relaxing. I'd come here after any fight Dally and I'd have, and I'd groom any horse that was free and then I'd go out for a ride around the trail before taking a ride around the track. The only problem about the stables was that it'd been Dally's favourite place to go as well when he was angry, so we'd always run into each other. But whenever we had a fight and met up here, it was like the fight never happened, and we'd saddle up horses and go around and around the track; testing how fast we could go.

Now I just needed a quiet place to think, somewhere were a certain someone wasn't going to find me without talking around to people.
"Hiya, Mia." I turned to see Denis walk out of his small office connected to the stables. I smiled as I stepped up to shake his hand. "Been awhile." I nodded and shoved my hands into my pockets.
"Yea, things have been a little weird since Dally died." I said, and he gave me a sympathetic look.
"Sorry to hear about that." He said. "Always nice to see young kids around the horses; so long as they're good to them." I smiled.
"Dally loved the horses; he was a little horse crazy." Denis chuckled and started towards the big doors that lead outside.
"I got that impression from him. Listen, after you're done riding, I got a new horse that needs some breaking in; wanna try?" I nodded eagerly and he smiled. "Thought so. Sally's in her stall, you can ride her if you want." I nodded and turned to walk down the stable with all the half doors on both sides. Some of them had horses in them, but others were empty; their owners having taken them out for the weekend shows.
Denis owned the stable yard, and rented out stalls for people who wanted a horse, but didn't have the space at home for one. He also loaned out horses, and had some instructors giving lessons. Buck kept the few horses he used for his bootlegging schemes here, though he'd told me that he'd sold a few of them since he was more concerned with the bar now. But he still did a little on the side.
Now, Sally was the calmest horse I'd ever been around, and she'd been my favourite since someone brought her in after she'd been abused at her previous home. For some reason, no one could get into her stall except for me, and it made me proud to have a horse that was practically my own; since no one else could get her out to the pastures or anything.
Denis had taught me ways to get a horse to trust people again after it'd been abused, so eventually Sally had learned to trust people again, but was still a little nervous around strangers. She was too nervous to be used as a school horse, or sold out for someone else to own her, so Denis kept her as his own; though I was one of three people who were allowed to ride her.
"Sally?" I called into her stall, and I watched with a grin as her ears perked up and she turned her head away from her water bucket. "Remember me, girl?" As if in response, she came over and nipped gently at the sleeve of my shirt, as if to say 'where have you been?!'
I laughed and rubbed a hand over her nose.
"I missed you too girl. How about a nice brushing, then we'll go for a ride?" Sally bobbed her head in agreement and I smiled as I opened her door and stepped in. I took hold of her bridle and walked her over to the grooming station; hooking her up to the ropes that spanned across the space before I picked up a brush and rubbed it down her neck. She shook her head and stomped her hooves in happiness, and I grinned as I felt myself relax.

It was going on 2:30 as I lead Sally back up the trail path to the stables. It'd been amazingly quiet in the wooded trail, and I'd been able to think in peace for once.
"Mia!" I looked over to the gate of the track to see Soda, Steve and Two- Bit hanging off the fence around the track.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked as I came up to them. "Shouldn't you be at work?" Steve shrugged.
"Business was so slow that the boss let us out early. We went looking for you at Buck's bar, but he said it was your day off and hinted as to where you might be." I smiled with a roll of my eyes as I opened the gate and trotted Sally through onto the oval shaped track.
"Course he did." I said as I trotted her up and down a short strip of track for a few minutes to get her warmed up before I nudged her to go faster.
Before long, the two of us were speeding around the track, and I was sitting low in the saddle, letting the air wipe across me.
I could hear the boys calling out and cheering as I passed by them, and just to show off, I slowed down slightly and dropped the reins.
A trick I'd taught Sally was to keep going without me controlling her from the reins. With a simple nudge of my knee, she'd slow down or speed up while I sat back in the saddle.
I held my arms up and fell into a rhythm to keep myself in the saddle as we made another trip around the track.
"Show off." Soda grinned as I came to a stop in front of them. I grinned back and slid off.
"Just showing you how it's done." I said as I started to pull the saddle off.
"What are you doing?" Two- Bit asked and I smirked as I proper the saddle on the fence and lead Sally closer so I could get back on. "You can ride bareback?!" I laughed and swung my leg over Sally's back. Positioning myself comfortably before picking up the reins again.
"Riding is the one thing I take full interest in, Two. Of course I've learned how to ride bareback." I took off down the track at a light trot before picking up some speed.
Once again, I dropped the reins once we'd gone around once, and I held my arms out, leaning slightly into and away from the turn so that I'd stay up. I felt so free when I was riding, like I could stay up on the back of a horse forever and never get tired.
After another ride around the track, I brought Sally to a halt at the fence.
"You're pretty good for someone who hasn't ridden in over a year." Soda said as he came over to the fence to help me off. I smiled and put my hand on his shoulder to balance myself as I swung my leg over and dropped to the ground.
"I'm surprised I did that well without falling off." I said as I took the reins and walked Sally back to her stall in the stables. "It's nice to be back. I missed riding, even if it does remind me of Dally a little more then I'd like it too." I sighed as I took the saddle from Soda's arms and took it over with the other saddles on the rack.
"I'm sure you'll be fine." Soda said as he wiped his dusty hands on his already dusty and greasy jeans. I nodded and walked back out to give Sally a quick brush down to get the sweat off of her.
"Yea, so what are you guys up to?" I asked as I ran the brush down her neck. Soda shrugged as he leaned against a stall.
"Don't know, there ain't much to do in the middle of the day. What're you doing?"
"Denis said he's got a new horse that needs to be broken in, and he asked if I would give it a try. I said yes, so I'll probably be here for a few more hours." Soda nodded and pushed himself off the stall.
"Have fun with that. I'll talk to you later." I called out a goodbye before I put my full focus onto Sally and smiled as I watched her own muscles relax from our work out today.

A few hours later, I was wiping sweat and dirt off my clothes and face. The new horse was almost as wild as they came, and it'd taken me forever to get him into the smaller corral so I could run him. He'd kicked up dirt and dust, and managed to make some mud, even though everything was dry.
"Good job with that horse, Mia." I turned to see Denis walking towards me where I was having a drink of water from the fountain on the side of the building. "We couldn't even get him to come near us before you worked with him. You're a real horse whisperer." I smirked and shook my head.
"Not really, but thanks." I pulled my hair out of the ponytail before pulling it back up again. "I can come by later in the week to work with him some more, but I gotta work tomorrow." I knew it was best to work with a horse every day when you were trying to break them into a saddle, but I couldn't put off work.
"That's fine. I can always see if someone would walk him around one of the corrals for a half hour or something." I nodded and waved over my shoulder before heading back to the truck.
I drove to Buck's so I could shower before I got ready to go to Tim's for a few hours. We'd been keeping our distance more then we used to, but things were going better then they had before we started fighting. He'd been teaching me how to drive the bike, since the first time I'd made it jolt back and forth far more then I should have.
"Where you goin'?" Buck asked as I can down the steps dressed in cleaner clothes.
"Over to Tim's, see if he wants to go out for supper tonight at the Dingo or something. I'll be back before 11, I promise." I knew Buck was still upset about Tim, but I wasn't about to stop trying to make things work with him, just because Buck wasn't happy about it.
"Fine." Buck grumbled and left the room. I rolled my eyes with a sigh and headed out for the truck. It was getting late, and the sun hung low in the sky, almost gone behind the tree tops.
As I pulled up outside Tim's, I saw two other cars parked along the front and raised an eyebrow. Tim didn't normally have people over, and I almost decided not to bother, but for some reason, I had the feeling I needed to go inside.
I got out of the truck and walked up to the door, the inside one was open, and the screen one let noise from inside out. I could hear Tim's voice, along with several others as I slowly opened the door and let it close behind me. The voices stopped and all was quiet for a moment.
"Hello?" I called as I walked towards the kitchen where the voices seemed to have been coming from.
As I entered the room, I stopped dead, feeling my heart stop, drop to my feet and start up again at a breakneck speed in a matter of seconds. I couldn't breathe as I starred at the small group of guys standing around the kitchen table, bags of white powder clearly being divided up among those who were there. There was only one thing that would be so precariously divided up the way they were doing it.
"Mia," Tim said slowly as he stood still, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. "Just, stay calm and let me explain." I shook my head; my eyes wide and one hand over my mouth will the other clutched at my stomach.
"I think I'm gonna puke." I said as I turned away and headed for the door.
"Mia!" Tim called out, and before I reached the door, he took hold of my arm and pulled me back. The initial shock was fading away, being replaced with deep anger.
"Let go of me!" I snapped and managed to pull myself out of his grasp. But he managed to block my way out.
"Let me explain." He repeated and now instead of feeling like I was going to be sick, I felt anger bubble to the surface and I was left sputtering for words.
"Let you explain?!" I half shrieked. "Explain what?! What's in the bags?! Cause I know what it is! I just- I can't believe that you'd- Urgh!" I was pulling at my hair, unable to put a complete sentence together, so I settled for punching Tim in the face as hard as I could. His head snapped to the side and nearly hit the wall.
"How could you?!" I yelled as he rubbed at his cheek, moving his jaw around to make sure it wasn't broken. I brought my knee up and got him hard in the chest, sending him to his knees. "How could you do this?! After everything that's been going on! You're dealing drugs?! You told me it was nothing! You told me it was just a few errands!" For a second I thought I felt tears sting my eyes, but I was too angry to let them fall. "You've been lying to me this whole time! Was everything just one big lie to you?!"
"I haven't been lying to you." Tim snapped as he stood back up. When he was angry, he seemed to tower over me, but I stood my ground and looked up at him with hatred. "Sure I've twisted things around a little, but I haven't lied. I've told you the truth; I just left out what it was we were doing. This is a high risk situation for getting into jail, and I am running errands. How else do you think this is getting out there?!" I shook my head and paced for a second.
"I can't believe you!" I snapped. "All those times I talked about how much I hated drugs, were you even listening to me?! Or did it just go in one ear and out the other?! This is why we left New York in the first place! Stuff like this was become too popular for our liking!" I shook my head. "I don't care what you think! You've been lying to me since I've come home. I knew there was something wrong when I got here, but I never questioned you- god I was so stupid! You had me jumping at your every word! Is that what you planned?! To have me so clouded over that I'd never even notice?!" Tim shook his head, and I watched as the fight seemed to drain out of him. Not like he was really fighting though, I was the one doing all the yelling.
"Mia, there's a reason for all of this." I snorted and shook my head as I took a step back from him. "Mia, I did this because I care." I laughed bitterly before I narrowed my eyes at him, cold hard hatred bubbling in my stomach.
"I hate you." I said, and it all came lose with those three words. I stormed at him and shoved his chest.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I shoved and punched at him, and when I felt too weak to keep it up, I walked swiftly past him to the door.
"Mia, wait!" I stormed out the door and down the front steps. "If you'd just listen to me-" I picked up a decent sized rock and hurled it at the door, satisfaction streaming through me when it narrowly missed Tim's head and broke through the screen door.
"I'm not listening to another word you have to say!" I yelled, and remembered the ring on my finger. He'd given it to me after our first date, and the only time I'd not had it on was during the fight I'd incited with the Socs. But Tim had given it back to me before I left for New York, and I'd worn it ever since. I'd thought it meant something, but now I saw through it; it was just a cover up.
"Here," I pulled the ring off and tossed it up on the step, and it landed perfectly at his feet. "Take that piece of scrap metal; give it to some other girl you can play your mind tricks with, cause I'm done." I turned around and walked to the truck. I heard him yelling as I got in and pulled away, but I blocked it out and focused on where I was going instead.
Though I hadn't really had anywhere in mind, I found myself outside the Curtis' house. As I cut the engine, what had just happened sunk in, and my stomach dropped as tears blurred my vision. My head fell to the steering wheel, and I had enough sense to watch out for the horn. But other then that, all I saw was the blurry outline of the things in the truck; the truck that Tim had given me with the money he got from selling out drugs. How come I hadn't seen it? How come I hadn't seen it coming?
I sat and cried for a few minutes in the truck before I did my best to compose myself to go inside. I knew the guys would be ready and willing to tear Tim to pieces, but something told me not to mention the drugs. The rational part of my brain was telling me to go to the police and report it; while the other half, the part that wanted to believe this was all a bad dream, was telling me to keep quiet about it.
Either way, I wasn't going to talk to him ever again. He'd lied to me, and done everything he could to cover it up. I was done with him.
I stepped out of the truck, bracing myself against the sides when my weak legs started to crumble underneath me.
I managed to get myself to the front door and into the house. It was quiet and I was about to call out hello when Soda's head came around from the living room, a smile on his face.
"Hey Mia, been a-" He stopped and I knew he'd seen my red eyes. "Mia? Are you OK?" I started to nod my head, but I couldn't do it. Tears started to streak down my face again as I started to crumble against the wall. I slid to the floor and a half second later, Soda was right beside me, his arms wrapped securely around my shoulders.
"Gosh Mia, what happened to you? Are you feeling alright?" I choked on a sob and grasped at his DX work shirt that he hadn't changed out of yet.
"We broke up!" I managed to croak out. "I went over and we fought, and we just broke up!" It was then I realized I was doing the same thing Tim had been doing to me for months; I was covering up what was really there. No way was I going to be like him. But the thought of him brought more tears to my eyes, and I was shaking with sobs as Soda sat there on the floor with me, rubbing at my shoulder and running a hand through my hair.
Eventually, I stopped cry and was left hiccupping as Soda pulled me up off the floor and walked me into the living room.
"Where is everyone?" I asked as I wiped at my eyes. All I'd put on for make up after coming home from the barn was mascara, but it was now running down my face in long black smudges.
"Two-Bit and Steve had dates, Ponyboy went to the library to do some studying and Darry decided to go out with a few friends for the evening." Soda shot me a grin that could charm any girl into giving him whatever he wanted. "We're all alone." I smiled a little, and moved close to him.
"What would I do without you, Soda?" I asked as I continued to wipe at my eyes.
"Probably drown Darry with all your stories instead of me." I huffed out a breath that was meant to be a laugh and looked out the window. The sky was getting dark, and the streetlights were coming on.
"Soda, I gotta tell you something, but you gotta promise not to tell anyone. Not a single living soul, alright?" He raised an eyebrow but nodded and I took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying again. "The reason Tim and I fought and broke up, is because," I didn't want to say it. I know I'd already said it to him, but somehow I felt like it'd been fully real if I said it to someone else. "Is because he's deal drugs." I couldn't remember a time when I'd ever seen Soda's eyes bulge out so much, but there they were, as wide as dinner plates and ready to fall out of his head.
"Drugs?!" He asked. "He's dealing drugs?!" The shock turned to anger and he started to get up and run to the door. "I'll kill him!" I jumped up and caught him before he was out the door.
"Soda, no!" I said as I managed to pull him away from the door. "Please, just don't, OK? You can't let anyone know that you know. Clearly, I wasn't supposed to." Soda was silently raging as I pushed him down on the couch to calm down.
"Did you hit him?" He finally asked and I nodded as I dropped down beside him.
"Yeah. Smacked'im, kicked'im. I wanted to see if his head could go through the pavement outside the house, but I didn't feel like getting sent to jail for manslaughter." Soda huffed beside me, and I looked over at him. It took a lot to get Soda angry, and even then, he'd never looked as angry as he did now. I starred down at the floor, trying my hardest not to cry even more then I already had.
"Man he really pulled one over on us." I glanced up at him. "I can't believe he managed to do this, and we never suspected a thing." Tears filled my eyes as I thought about how well Tim had covered up everything he'd been doing. I hadn't suspected a thing; he'd pulled a fast one on me.
"I can't believe I fell for it." I said quietly before tears trailed down my face, and once they started, they didn't stop.

Dear Agony
Just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Don't bury me
Faceless enemy
I'm so sorry
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear Agony
Leave me alone
God let me go
I'm blue and cold
Black sky will burn
Love pull me down
Hate lift me up
Just turn around
There's nothing left
Somewhere far beyond this world
I feel nothing anymore
Dear Agony
Just let go of me
Suffer slowly
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Don't bury me
Faceless enemy
I'm so sorry
Is this the way it's gotta be?
Dear Agony
I feel nothing anymore
XXX

So, I've kind of lost my drive for writing this story. I just feel like it's not getting the same kind of… I don't know the word, attention I guess, as my other stories. Same thing for One Moment. I just don't feel like people are as into them as they use to be.

If you are still readying this and liking it, please review! I really want to finish this story at least, since I really like the ending I've written for it, but if no one is really interested, I'll probably stop.

Anyway, please review!

~Stay Gold!