Finding a home

It's been five days since I almost fried Black Widow. I've been hiding in my room ever since. The door is locked, and barricaded. No one gets in, but I can get out – not that that's going to happen anytime soon. I'm staying in here until they'll leave me alone. I'm dangerous, and they shouldn't associate with me. I missed that time, but who says that it'll be that way next time it happens … next time I lose my temper.

At first, the others tried to get me to come out. Sam, Wanda, and even Natasha tried. Sam instating that he was there to talk; Wanda saying she knew how it felt to lose control of your powers; Natasha telling me to grow up, that it didn't even touch her. I never talked back. They stopped after the third day.

I know that Vision could just phase through the walls, but so far, he hasn't tried. Maybe he's learning to respect people's privacy. Only last week, I heard Wanda telling that an open door didn't mean he could just walk through the wall. It could just be orders – to leave me in my confinement. They should take me back to the cell. That way, I'm not close enough to hurt them. I won't have to train, and I won't have to use my bending. It'll be safer for them.

I'll miss my bending; it's a part of me, how could I not? But it's so much safer if I don't use it. If I stop practising bending, I might forget how to use. And if that happens … I could be free to start a new life, here, in this new universe. I won't have to hide for being a multi-bender, I won't have to live away from the world. I could be a normal, average person.

I could be free.

Another day passes by, and I'm just staring at the wall. I've been really hungry, but water wasn't an issue. It might not be the healthiest to drink tap water from the bathroom, but it's better than dying of thirst. I only had a few snacks in my room; they haven't lasted long. Now I've got no food, and the delicious smells wafting over from the kitchen are really tempting me. Several times today, I've found myself stood in front of the door, my hand reaching out to open. But I stop myself each time, reminding myself what I've done. I can't go out there with them.

But, oh, do I want to.

The yearning to be part of a family once more, to not be afraid of who I am is overwhelming. It's burning me up, and one day, I'll explode. If I could just … but no – I can't. I can't be around anyone anymore. What if I get so angry, I release the Avatar State? What happens then?

The thought terrifies me. I wrap my arms around my legs, drawing them up to my chest. Rocking myself back and forth, I let the tears flow. My old best friend, Melanie, would know what to do. She was always so clever about these things; Mel always had a plan for when things went wrong – in fact, she often had several.

Tears stream down my face. What do I do, Mel? How do I get out of this mess? How do I solve my problems? The questions bounce around in my brain, demanding answers, solutions, anything. Now, more than ever, I miss Mel. We were the best of pals, inseparable since we met. We were separated four years ago – Melanie sent to a different compound. We talked over the phone, but I hadn't seen her since then. Everything I have left of her is my necklace, now clutched in my palm. They – the Avengers and their lackeys – gave it back to me, the same day I moved into this room. It was sitting on my chest of drawers, unnoticed when I first walked in. I cried when I saw it.

I'm still crying now.

Sometime later, it could be hours for all I know or care, there seems to be quite the commotion outside. Someone's voice rises above the rest, shouting, screaming, protesting … I jump up when I realise it's Beth. Beth. My heart soars, but sinks again, and I drop to the floor. She shouldn't be here. She doesn't need to deal with me. I appreciate – of course I do, she's my friend – that she came here, but she shouldn't be here. Beth would be safer elsewhere.

The shouting dies down, but they still mutter and mumble near my door. I clamp my hands over my ears, not wanting to listen. They'll try and convince to come out, and I won't. I won't. I won't put them in danger. They're safer with me on the other side of the door; they'd be safer still with me in a completely different building, or better yet – a completely different country. A completely different universe. If only I had never touched that stone … they wouldn't have me to worry about. They would be safe from me and my uncontrollable powers.

It would be better, that way. Why can't they see that?

There's a soft knock against the door; the force ripples through my back, as I lean against the wood. An equally soft voice speaks from the other side:

"Hey there, it's me, Beth. Ava … I'd like to come in and talk to you, is that ok? You don't have to come out … everything will be ok. Just … please, just let me talk to my friend, yeah? Please …" Her voice sounds oddly strained and brittle, as though it threatens to collapse at any second.

"I … "My voice cracks from disuse, and I choke upon the words. "I'm not safe … stay on that side, and leave me. Don't come back … I'm not worth your time."

"Hey! Now listen you little shit – "Anger resonates through Beth's voice, and I can imagine her standing with her hands on her hips, "stop moping around and feeling all pathetic. You are perfectly safe; I've been around you plenty of times, and I probably pissed you a few times, and you never went all Thor-without-the-hammer lightning powers on me. You're one of my best friends, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you keep acting like a whiny toddler. Grow the fuck up."

Her words startle me, and I step back from the door. My hand itches to open the handle, but I do nothing. Not at the moment.

"And all this 'not worth your time' bullshit is going to stop, too. Stop acting like you have to prove yourself worthy of being my friend, or the friend of any of us. We like you for you, and we don't like you locking yourself in your room for, like a week. It's not healthy, and it's not fair on the rest of us. It's selfish."

"S-selfish?! Selfish?!" I catch on the word, sure that I misheard her.

"That's right. You're just thinking of yourself and moping around like a depressing cloud of angst. We need our friend back, and it's selfish of you to not think of anyone but yourself." Beth is spitting the words out now. "We want you to come back out, and help make a difference to the world. You can't do that here. All of us mere non-powered humans at this compound are trying to make a difference, and save people's lives. You've got powers that can help you do it better than we can. You've got the potential to a superhero and save people better than we ever could. If you won't do it for you, then will you do it for them?"

"I'm not a hero, Beth … I'm nowhere close to being a hero. Far from it. What makes you think I could be a super one?" I bite down on my lip, trying to stop more tears from leaking out.

"You've got a good heart and a fierce sense of right and wrong. I've seen it: in all those training simulations, when you'd get others to safety, take the brunt of hits, lead the charge, and be the last one to surrender. You can do this … I believe in you."

I wipe at my eyes, sniffling and smiling at the same time. "You're the real hero, Beth. Superhero of pep talks. What would I do without you?" Reaching up, I gripped the door handle, and let her in.

"Starve to death, that's what, silly." She muttered, crushing me in her embrace. "Don't you ever do this again, ya hear me? Don't ever be so stupid." Beth pulled back, giving me a fierce look.

I nodded, gulping at the steel in her eyes. But then, she laughed, and wrapped her arms around me again. I hugged her back, so glad to have her for a friend. She might not be Melanie, but she doesn't need to be. She's Elizabeth Scotney, and my best friend. A rush of love rose through me, and I promised myself, right there and then, that I would never do anything to put her in danger. Beth is too good, and I don't deserve her. I am lucky to have her, I truly am.

I'm sat, rather awkwardly, on one side of the dining table, with the Avengers grouped on the other side. Beth is sat next to me; only the tapping of her fingers on the table, and the jiggling of her feet below the table, betray how nervous she really is. I squeeze her hand occasionally, and flash her a small smile. In truth, I'm as nervous as she is; eyes flickering between faces and the walls, palms sweating, and heart pounding. I don't know how they'll feel about what I did. It was wrong, I know that. But I don't know the consequences of my actions.

And now it's time for judgement day …

Wanda is giving me a faint nod of assurance, her eyes focused on my wandering ones. Sam, too, is giving me a reassuring glance. But it's not to them I have to focus on: it's Steve and Natasha that the real control lies with. The former as team leader, the latter as the victim of my anger. It's them I need to work on. Having Sam and Wanda as allies might help, but it isn't their opinion that'll be most important. It's the verdict of those in charge.

"We're not going to punish you, Ava." Steve speaks first, a flicker of concern sparking in those bright blue eyes. "Everyone has had problems with control and high running emotions before. Well, "He flashes a quick glance to Vision, "most of us. We just need to help you control your emotions, and not lash out in anger. We're not here to be your enemies, but to help you. If you can gain more control over your abilities, you could help us save lives. It's better to try and control your powers than not using them at all, understand?"

Ah … I might have been a bit vocal with my desire to never use my abilities again. A lot vocal. In fact, now my mind's a lit clearer, I recall screaming several times … and smashing a fruit bowl. Oops.

"I understand. I'm really … "My gaze lifts to Natasha's face, "I'm really sorry about what happened. It was foolish, and I could have hurt you." Trembling hands sit before me on the table, something completely different to how mine usually behave. "It wasn't my intention … I just … "My hands fist together, "I just got angry and lost control. I didn't mean to produce lightning. We weren't … weren't really trained for that. Too dangerous – that's what the carers told us. We learned the movements … I've only ever produced it a few times … I blew up a building last time I tried … I vowed to never use it again …" I trail off, aware that I'd just unloaded one of my worst secrets on all of them.

Somehow, I feel … lighter. As if the weight has been lifted from my shoulders; I am no longer burdened by its shame. I don't have to keep it to myself – these people are my friends, and I trust them. The lightness sweeps through me, living a fuzzy feeling in my chest. Maybe I have found a home, if I choose to stay.

"Ahem … "Natasha casts me a significant look, "we were just saying, Wanda and Vision will be helping you train. Wanda has had trouble with controlling her powers in the best, particularly if she is emotionally frayed. She will be able to help you, and Vision, who helped her control." An almost feral grin crawls over Natasha's face. "Try to blast me again, and I'll make you really regret it. But don't worry, I won't kill you."

My face must be a picture of terror, as Natasha gives a short, fruity laugh.

"I'm joking. Black Widow only kills her enemies now, not her sparring opponents."

The words send a shiver through me. What exactly did Natasha go through to make those words applicable to this situation? What horrors did she go through?

But my stomach rumbles, and I'm reminded of my lack of food over the best few days. "Uh … Can I, like, have some food, please?" I give an innocent shrug.

Wanda tosses me a banana using her Scarlet Witch powers. I munch into it, grateful for the snack. A smile creeps over me face, and a warm sensation fills me body. This could be home, not with a blood-born family, but a chosen one. This could be a life worth living.

I made the right choice then: to spin that stone, and send myself to another reality. Fate, maybe, or just a lucky chance – it doesn't matter. All that matters, is that I've found my family. I've found my home.

Here's your chapter, guys, as promised for every three days.

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