However hasty Castiel wanted their departure to be, nothing material made it possible for the next fortnight. He had a talk with his mother, expressing his desire to start anew and while she looked surprised, kept respectful of his privacy in a way that made him grateful for her discretion. He also appreciated the fact that they needed to spend a prodigious amount of time locked away in the writing room, far away from the rest of the family.
Propriety was unavoidable, so he did have to attend breakfast. He wished with all his heart that Dean would not, yet every day, here he was, on the far side of the table, helping himself to rolls, butter and honey, which raised hilarity from his little brother:
"An alpha eating only sweet things? I cannot believe my eyes. Don't you need sausages or black pudding to strengthen your blood?"
"I would not object to kidney pie Adam, but otherwise, I'll eat whatever pleases me. Is it not one of the privileges of us Alphas, after all?"
"Not if other alphas are mocking your habits, Dean. Michael tells me how embarrassed he is when he has gentlemen over and you won't touch the brandy."
"I do not drink alcohol. You know that."
"You ought to make an effort. I was talking to Father about you and we both agree that you are not distinguishing yourself enough for your standing. The only hope we have left is that you make an advantageous mating."
Dean looked down at his plate at this, concentrating on his fork and knife. Castiel felt a pang of sorrow that he could not be sure appertained to his own feelings or to Dean's ones. He kept a steady countenance and worked his way through breakfast as quickly as he could without being too ostentatious.
He also met Dean in corridors and around the estate, as well as meal times and soon, a pattern emerged. He never saw his eyes. Dean was always turned or looking away and Castiel did not know if he was more hurt or more relieved at that behavior. He would weep every evening before bed and wake up in the morning feeling sore and unwell as his body betrayed his determination not to yearn after Dean.
Finally, his torment was alleviated by a letter bringing promising news. One of his mother's old acquaintance, a Mrs Harvelle, who was now a widow and living in a house much too big for her, would be happy to accommodate them and make them feel welcomed. The happiness Castiel felt was overwhelming. His own comfort was not as important as his little brothers and here was a way to have a roof over their heads. His mother was not as cheerful for what she perceived as pity, yet beggars could not be choosers.
Little Samandriel was overwhelmed by the news. Castiel took him out for a walk to help calm him down and even managed to get him excited about this new adventure. Gabriel looked ready to burst and admitted to his need to be as far away from his half-brother as possible:
"Otherwise, I might say something regrettable. He will not help us with anything or offer any money and we are his blood!"
"Only half."
"The other half must be poisoned then. The only person I will regret from this place is Dean. I told him he should visit as soon as possible but he said his father needed him in London and he did not know for how long. I am sure he'll find a way, though," Gabe added, winking at Castiel who refrained from sighing.
"We do not have time to chatter any more. There is packing to do."
The journey was uneventful. The deliverance Castiel was expecting did not happen. Instead, his heart grew heavy and his head became occupied with one unique person. He accepted this sad state of affairs as he had accepted all the rest and focused on his family's needs.
Mrs Helen Harvelle was a very rich woman, indeed. She had one daughter who had married the year before with an alpha that lived in another province. Another widower was living here, a gentleman named Colonel Robert Singer. He barely acknowledged their presence before going hunting. Mrs Harvelle laughed loudly at his back:
"Such a sullen fellow! He has a heart of gold but he tries to hide it," she turned to look at Castiel and his siblings, "Well, what a pair of nice-looking young omegas you have here, Jane! Do they ride? I have many horses that would love to be taken on walks."
"Oh, only Gabriel does. Castiel is more of a walker."
"Perfect," Mrs Harvelle bellowed, "I shall ride alongside him, then. Be ready early in the morning, young man."
"Of course, Mrs Harvelle." Gabriel was beaming.
"Stop this nonsense and call me Helen. I shall not have my guests be on such a formal standing."
Castiel was horrified by this astonishing attitude and fled to the library. It was enormous and held many strange books about myths, but in a small corner, he found novels and remembered the last one he read. He lost himself in one, feeling somewhat connected to his past self, as well as the Dean he had though he knew then.