Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy or its characters all credit to the creative minds of Square Enix.

'Serah's thoughts'

Chapter 10: The Ugly Side of Serah

'She didn't...I had to hear incorrectly..'

"Wh-what did you say..?" The pinkette asked trying to keep her voice and breathing even. She heard Vanille. Loud and clear. But she had to make sure.

The red-head didn't want to say it again. She could hear the uncertainty in the girl's voice and the hurt in those icy azures of her's. And at that, Vanille felt her whole body go numb. "Fang, she..she killed your-"

"Stop.." Serah felt her entire world flip upside-down. Her breath caught in her throat and she slowly turned around to face Vanille, her eyes wide with disbelief. "N-no, that's no..my father was killed by Pulsian's..Lightning told me that-"

"Stop and think Serah..why do you think Lightning had so much hatred towards Fang.."

She shook her head. This was just too much, it was too much. "She told me they had a bad break up, besides Fang isn't even a-

"Pulsian?" Vanille finished softly, now falling to her knees from loosing the ability to stand. "You're wrong, both Fang and myself are from Gran Pulse. We came here eight years ago, and we both took part in that war. Has neither of our last names ever struck you as odd; Dia and Yun?"

"I can't..I can't..." Serah lost the will to even breath. She fell to her knees and wrapped her arms over her head. "How could..I have..been..so..so..blind.." her hands gripped tightly over her chest where the pounding organ she wanted so badly to yank out, suddenly started to ache. "All this time...everything she told me...was a lie?" She was on the verge of tears. The woman that she fell for..she lied to her. "Why...?"

"Serah I-"

"Leave...!."

"But I-"

"All of this is your fault!." She spat coldly, her voice vibrating against her throat. "How could you..how..." Finding words to speak how she felt was nearly impossible..

Vanille softly bit down on her lip as tears blurred her vision. A load of regret slapped her in the face. Not from finally telling Serah the truth, but for waiting so long to do so. The red-head walked over to the crying girl and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Serah stiffened. The girl's touch suddenly felt so violating to her so she pulled away. "G-get away from me!." The pinkette slowly backed away from the pig-tailed girl and curled herself into a ball on the floor.

Vanille felt a strain on her heart. Seeing Serah so torn up over this made her want go crawl under a rock and die. "I'm sorry Serah...I'm so sorry..!." She desperately choked through her tears as she took the girl in her arms.

"No!." There was so much remorse in Vanille's voice. She couldn't stand it. Usually, Serah would easily forgive someone but right now, that Serah was gone, locked away under a grieving, and broken Serah. She bought her hands over her ears to drown out the sound of the red-head's voice. Hearing it was almost deafening.

"Y-your apology means nothing to me! Nothing! It's not going to bring my father back is it!" She pushed, shoved, and kicked to break free of the red-head but Vanille would not release her. "It's not going to change the many nights I spent crying and wishing he was still here!. Nothing, nothing you say or do from this point forward will fix the pain and sorrow I've felt all these years!."

"LET GO OF ME!." She finally pulled herself free of the red-head and stood up from the floor. Her body felt so weak and tired from all the exertion, she had to lean against the wall to keep her stability. Serah could barely breathe. Doing so only resulted in spasams of pain to shoot across her heart. Her puffy and teary eyes stared down at the red head. "If...if it wasn't for you Pulsians, he would still be alive!."

Vanille could do nothing but nod in agreement. Serah was absolutely right. The words she spat hurt like hell but it was only the truth. She wanted to say something, anything to this girl but she was at a lost for words. All she could do was was continue to cry.

"Then again..." She turned to the freight stricken girl, Her hand still clenched tightly over her chest. "It's not just your fault, its mine as well. I should have just backed off like you told me but no, I was too blind." She squeezed her eyes shut to keep more tears from pouring out. "I was naive, and that was my stupidness.."

'Don't come crying to me when everything comes crahing down.'

This is what Lightning must have been trying to tell her. Now that she actually needed her she wasn't even here..

"Serah..." The pinkette didn't answer her. She just turned and slowly walked into her room, closing the door behind her. Vanille layed on the floor and continued her silent cries.

~xxxxxx~

The red-head kept her eyes glued on Serah's bedroom door. It was only just a few moments ago, that her and Serah were having a casual discussion about Lightning and Fang. But then it took a turn for the worse.

'If it weren't for you Pulsian's they would still be alive!'

Vanille whimpered and buried her face into her arm. The girl was right. Serah had all right to be mad at her. She wanted to put all the blame on Fang for not being honest form the start but, in the end, it didn't even matter. They both were from Pulse making them both responsible for that girl's suffering.

The front door slid open behind her but Vanille was too much in a daze to hear or know what was going on in her surroundings. "Oi, Vanille?"

The girl sat up and drew her knees under her chin, not even bothering to make eye contact with the woman. "Fang, where were you..?"

"I'll explain that later, but, what are ya cryin' for?" She gently wipped the girl's teary eyes and gave her a comforting hug.

"Where's Serah?" She asked. The red head casted her arm over Fang's shoulder and towards the younger Farron's door.

"Your welcome.." Vanille choked out and pulled from the woman's embrace. Fang held a perplexed expression as the red-head stood to her feet and headed towards the door, passing by the pinkette who looked just as confused as the older Pulsian. Vanille's eyes settled on Lightning's filled with both anger and frustration. Lightning had never seen this in the girl but it didn't bother her in the least. "I know.."

"She hates me now, because of the two of you.." The red head cried. Those already red eyes, becoming a shade darker as more tears ran from them. "Why'd you hide it..?" Lightning knew exactly she was talking about and swallowed hard. She could not hold her gaze on that girl's eyes, and instantly shot her eyes over to Fang who still seemed slightly confused. "Vanille, what are you-"

"Stop pretending like you don't know Fang!." She yelled causing the woman to jump slightly at the girl's choice of tone against her. Vanille sighed and wipped her tears with the back of her hand. "Thanks for making me loose a friend.." With nothing left to say, the red head left out the front door.

Fang and Lightning both stared at one another in silence, then averted their gaze from eachother to Serah's room. "The hell was that just now?" The Pulsian asked as she raised to her full height from the floor.

Lightning said nothing and passed Fang by on her way to the girl's room. "You and I both know exactly what that was about Fang, which is why I need to speak with Serah to get this squared away. I said some things that I probably shouldn't have, so..." She knocked again but there was no answer. Lightning went for another knock but Fang grabbed her hand and bought it back to her side.

"Let me talk to her first then. I caused this mess after all." Fang turned the knob and let herself in. "Ser-" Lightning suddenly grabbed the woman's wrist and pulled her form from the girl's room. "I'm going to speak with Serah first then you can follow after I'm done."

"Sure thing." Fang answered and watched the woman enter the already opened door.

"Serah?" Lightning called, walking to her sister who was buried underneath her blanket.

"C-Claire!." The younger responded and slowly sat up on her bed. Honestly, the girl didn't want to speak or see her, but hearing her voice after the little disappearing act she pulled, made her feel some sort of happy. She pulled the soft light blue blanket down from over her head to reveal her flushed and sweaty face. "Where were you..you were gone.." She asked as she stared at her through half-opened azures.

Ignoring her question, Lightning sat down on the girl's bed almost immediately and put her hand to her forehead. Serah could see the worry in her eyes but she had no one else to blame but herself for not being present in her time of need. "A fever? How did you get sick?"

"I'm fine.." She replied and pushed her hand away from her burning forehead. "You're not answering my question.." Serah pushed, now staring down at her hands waiting for her sister to give an honest answer.

"Serah I have to talk to you about something."

"Save it." She mumbled, already knowing what was to follow after those words. "Vanille told me everything.."

"Serah I-"

"How could you.." She cut in before she could finish her protest. "How could you keep something like that from me..?" Her eyes started to sting as they did earlier, and tears spilt from them again. It was almost like it was impossible for the tears to stop.

A guilty expression was visible on her sister's face as her eyes wandered from hers and went elsewhere in the room. "Because..because I knew how upset you would have been." Was all she was able to come up with. But it was the truth. Lightning never liked seeing her sister cry or being hurt for any reason.

"Since when do you care about my feelings, I'm stupid.. Remember?"

That was a hurtful slap in the face for the woman. She may have had a much vulgar way of showing her love for her only family member but she cared. More then Serah knew. "I've always cared, how could you ever think I didn't."

Serah shook her head and covered her ears. "Stop lying to me!."

"I'm not lying to you Serah." She felt Lightning's arms snake their way around her and embrace her into a secure hug. Her fingers carefully brushed the sweat drenched bangs from over the girl's eyes. "I wanted to tell you, I did, until you told me to stay out of your business. I wanted to protect you..keep you safe. But when you said what you said a few days ago..I had to let you find it out on your own.."

"Yea, well look what it did to me."

"This all could have been avoided, had you just listened to me!."

"Rub it in my face why don't you..just leave me alone!."

"Serah that's not what I'm trying to do-"

"I HATE YOU, GET OUT!" Lightning froze. Suprised at the chosen tone her younger sister just used against her. She tried to say something but all that came from her mouth was air. The older stood from her spot on her sister's bed and left.

Fang was positioned at the side if the door frame as a baffled Lightning emerged from the room. "Sounded pretty brutal. Think me goin' in there will make a difference?"

"She.." The older Farron passed by Fang and directly to her own room. Lightning was apalled. Never had she seen Serah act so ill towards her. It was...hurtful.

"I'm still goin' to try." The persistent woman said. Hoping for some type of back up from the woman but instead received-

"Fang I really don't think that's the best thing to do. Besides, I think you're the last person she wants to see right now."

"Ouch.." The woman smirked and ran her fingers through her chestnut tresses. "Well, all the more reason for me to talk with her. Gonna have to face her sooner or later so why not sooner."

Lightning snorted. "Right, it's your funeral..." Lightning entered her room and slammed the door behind her.

~xxxxxx~

Fang entered the girl's room and shut the door. Serah took notice and quickly turned around. There she saw Fang. The woman who..who. The girl's fingers clasped to the sheets on her bed and she started to tremble. "What do you-"

"Before you say anything let me speak." Fang's first thought was to stay as close to the door as possible, noticing the pinkette's reaction when she entered, but instead, she knelt down in front of the girl's bed and placed both her hands on her shoulders. "I know that I-"

"Get out!." She barked and pushed the woman away. She couldn't stand it. The air around them was growing thick and she suddenly started feeling sicker then she originally was. Being in the presence of this woman this liar, this murderer, only made an uneasy feeling form in her stomach.

"Serah would you just-"

"I don't want to hear you!."

"Please it's-"

"Shut up!."

"I'm sorry.."

'Sorry?'

She suddenly became annoyed. She was sick of hearing those words. "What's two words going to fix..?"

"Nothin' I presume. She claimed her spot back in front of the girl's bed and gently rubbed her hand along the girl's cheek. But, I'm sorry."

"Sorry... Sorry for what exactly? Sorry because I found out..?"

"No, sorry for all the pain I caused you.." her hand fell from the pinkette's cheek and back to her side.

"A little late for that, don't you think?"

"Yea, long over due but, better late then never right?"

"..."

"I'm sorry for hiding it from you Serah, I was just..afraid."

"Afraid?" A bewildered look came over the usually smiling girl's face. "Afraid of what?"

"I.." Fang coughed and swallowed down the embarrassment that she felt in those few seconds. "That I'd loose you, like I lost Lightnin'.."

"It's too late for that now.."

"What?" She couldn't beleive her ears. Fang felt her legs start to shake and her head start to spin. "D-don't say that..Serah."

"Good-bye Fang."

The Pulsian gently grabbed both the girl's hands and placed them over her chest. There, Serah felt the rapid beating of the woman's heart. Fang's green eyes met with her own only an unfamiliar shine was present within them. Was Fang about to- "I know how you're feeling right now and-"

"You do not." She spoke, slightly raising her voice. "You will never know how I feel because-"

"Because I never lost anyone in my life. Right? You're wrong.." The woman's voice seemed to have cracked and became shaky as she spoke. She felt her chest tighten in pain.

"..."

"Serah..."

"Leave, I never want to see you again.."

"Y-you don't mean that, Serah..you don't mean that.." The girl's words were ripping her to shreds. Just like Lightning's did only worse. Her legs buckled under her and she fell to her knees. "Serah..please don't do this.."

"..."

She could hear the pain present in the woman's voice and almost felt guilty for it. Fang turned to the girl one last time and smiled, tears trickling down her cheeks. "Alright, if that's what you want, that's what will happen. I'll disappear.."

"Good-bye, Serah.."

And that's chapter 10! :D thankyou all who continue to read and follow my story I appreciate it a lot!

R&R