Hello to all out in reader land. I decided it was time for the wedding ceremony, so here it is.
I do not own Twilight.
I felt like I was going to throw up. The day of the wedding was here and I just wanted to hide. Already today I had had one panic attack, two crying fits, and an unsuccessful attempt at running away.
My awful day had started much too early and it seemed as though it were alternately racing too fast and plodding too slow. Alice had decided that four in the morning was a perfect time to awaken me even though the wedding was not until five o'clock in the evening. Apparently, "a baker's dozen of hours is lucky" before the ceremony. Personally I think Alice was full of crap and was just trying to get me to stop whining. I had spent the day being poked, prodded, primped, and preened. It was the full body wax that had instigated the get away attempt, but I had gotten about four steps out the door before I was escorted back to my torture chamber. Alice threatened to tie me to the chair and so I decided to keep my remaining dignity. So here I sat with Alice and her "sister", Rosalie.
Rosalie and her husband Emmett showed up last night. I was rather shocked considering no one ever told me about them at all. But Rosalie and Emmett lived a distance away and did not visit often. A fact that I was growing thrilled about since Rosalie seemed to have taken a distinct dislike of me as soon as she walked in the door. I'm not sure why, but I offended her by existing and her sneer was beginning to scare me a bit.
When Alice and I grabbed a moment to ourselves, I asked why Rosalie and Emmett left. Apparently, Edward and Rosalie did not have the best relationship and it had gotten much worse after the death of Esme, their "mother". Gentle Esme had been a steadying influence on the two and her death during the War had shattered that. As much as they both respected and loved Carlisle, it was not enough for them to stop their constant bickering. So Rosalie and Emmett took off and created a life of their own. Alice and Jasper went to visit them every so often, but it had been over a century since Edward had seen them.
Jasper had also returned for the event. He unfortunately had a job that kept him away from the capital city for most of the time. He worked out in the field as a general of sorts, although the Vampiric Nation had no actual army, only guards. But it was thought that it would be better to have something in place should an uprising ever begin.
It was actually Jasper who had been called in earlier, when I had had an acute panic attack. Jasper's calming ability had made it possible for Alice to finish my makeup as Rosalie snorted with derision in the background. After I had calmed enough, Jasper was kicked out with orders that he could not let Edward see me in Jasper's thoughts before the wedding or he would get no "nookie" for a year. To this threat, Jasper laughed and I believe that he took Alice about as seriously as I did. Alice wouldn't last a week in Jasper's presence let alone a year.
I had about one hour left before I was to be married and crowned queen. Alice was trying to give me marriage advice which I'm sure was well meant, but was likely to do me little good. I was not expecting a marriage like hers. My marriage was to be based upon politics, not love. I had not spoken more than the required niceties to Edward since my ill-conceived attempt at seduction. I'm not even sure it could have been called that since I was just as shocked at my actions as he was, but in any case, we did not have a relationship that was meant to be a happy marriage.
It was finally time for the dreaded ceremony and I began to wish again that Edward had just killed me when he was supposed to. I was led to the Cathedral where the whole mess started and was greeted by a crowd of city dwellers who had come out to see the spectacle. Alice had informed me that this was a greatly anticipated event as there had not been much to celebrate in the last four hundred years. People were looking forward to a party. What Alice had not told me, but I had heard from the castle servants, was that much of the city had placed bets on whether Edward would end up eating me within the first year. It was split seventy/thirty and not in my favor. As I walked past the faces in the crowd, I wondered how many of them had bet against my survival. We had finally arrived and I wished to be anywhere else.
I know the Cathedral must have looked beautiful. I had helped grow the hundreds of roses that bedecked the seats and altar. I had seen Alice readying giant sheets of delicate satin that she said was to drape upon the stage and swoop among the buttresses. I know also that there had been hundreds of other little details that Alice had so carefully laid out as I attempted to distance myself from the planning. But in the end, I saw none of this. Instead, I saw the most beautiful thing on heaven and earth and wept because it was not truly to be mine.
Edward was at the end of the aisle waiting for me. He was like a magnet that I wished to run to, but feared to become attached to. It was only the steady arm of Carlisle that kept me in check as he escorted me down the aisle. As I approached, the idea that I had been trying to keep at bay for months finally broke through my defenses. I loved Edward. I did not want to, but I did. The girl who had always scorned the idea of love was now consumed by it, but at a terrible price. He did not love me. He couldn't love me. I was human and insignificant. He was a vampire and mighty. I was plain and he was godlike. I was Bella and he was Edward.
Through the ceremony, I did my best to keep my eyes down so he would not see the love shining there. I could not face his refusal of my love and I wished to keep it a secret as long as possible. I said my vows, which I cannot remember, and was giving a ring, which I could not look at. When the sham of a wedding ceremony was complete, I had to say my vows again, but this time to the Vampiric Nation. I was crowned queen of a nation in which I was a second class citizen and which I knew nearly nothing about. I was a village goat girl who was being forced to masquerade as a queen.
Eventually, the ceremonies ended and I was escorted back to the castle in which the reception was to take place. I knew that it had been planned in advance that I was to be safely put onto the dais before any of the feasting would begin as Carlisle and Alice were concerned at how some would react to feeding while a live human was in the room.
I was given a sumptuous meal, that I did not eat, as Edward was given his animal blood, that he did not drink. What a pair we made. I held back tears as Edward glared off into space. Neither of us had the will to look joyous even with Alice constantly badgering us to "cheer up already".
Finally I could stand it no longer and I excused myself to have a "human moment". Edward barely looked at me as I left. A faithful guard followed behind me as I wove through the merrymakers. Once I made it to the hall, I let my shoulders slump with the strain that I was feeling. I began to meander towards the necessary that had been put in just for me. As I walked, my guard began to walk closer. Soon he was on my very heels. I looked back at him, but his face was a mask of boredom. Shrugging, I turned the corner and yet again ran into a set of arms. But this set did not belong to Edward.
"Hello pet. Did you miss me?" asked James.
My screamed was muffled by the odd smelling cloth that was placed over my mouth. And then there was blackness.
Do you love it? Do you hate it? Please review.