Over the years, Athos had seen many different drunk stages. The main one, being, silent and moody were his friends would leave him in a corner and then drag him back to tone of their homes when closing time came. Then there was the stage when Athos could just keep drinking until he passed out, which after so many years didn't come until far too many bottles. This was when his friends grew generally worried about the older man. The current stage of drunk he was in now was, in D'artagnan's opinion anyway, just plain weird.
Athos didn't usually smile but right now, on his 6th glass of vodka, he was grinning like a lunatic. "Is he alright?" D'artagnan finally said when the usually stoic musketeer let out a giggle.
"He's fine, aren't you Athos?" Porthos grinned and Athos focused on them and gave a dopy smile. D'artagnan still didn't look convinced as Athos' head fell forward. Aramis quickly picked up the glass as Athos' head made a thump on the table and a snore appeared from him.
"That can't be normal." D'artagnan stated, seriously concerned when Athos let out a purr as Aramis randomly stroked his head, downing the rest of his vodka as she did so.
"It's Athos' dopy drunk stage." Aramis replied, a smile appearing on her lips as Athos lifted his head up again, a hazed look in his eyes. "Bed time I think." She said, going to help Athos from the table. Porthos laughed as Athos grunted and fell asleep again. "You not going to help?" Aramis glared at Porthos who only shrugged.
"Dopy drunk stage?" D'artagnan asked, utterly confused now. "How many drunk stages does he have?" Porthos and Aramis only laughed a little. The younger of the four had been with them around 6 months now but had only ever seen Athos when he going through his more unpleasant drunk stages.
"Plenty, you've seen the drunken depression stages, this is the dopey one." Porthos replied, listing them off. "Then there's happy and giddy drunk." D'artagnan snorted, not fully believing that one. "Possessive Athos is Aramis; favourite." Aramis hit Porthos over the head then.
"Athos, possessive. That's almost as hard to believe as him being giddy." D'artagnan laughed, curious about this one.
"You don't believe us?" Porthos asked, fainting a hurt look. "Well, I'll just have to tell you about the time Athos and Aramis kissed." D'artagnan almost choked on his drink then.
"Kissed?" Porthos nodded in answer and Aramis only shrugged, carrying on stroking Athos' hair and obviously not listening to their conversation.
"That was the first time we saw, Athos the possessive drunk." Porthos replied, grinning at Aramis' glare and very glad Athos was still sleeping.
3 years beforehand ….
Aramis was up at the bar, talking with Porthos as Athos sat in his accustomed corner with a drink in hand. "One of these days' he is going to drink himself to death." Aramis said, seeing the way he downed the glass and motioned for another one.
Porthos only shrugged in answer, his eyes roaming the room. "Do you want to try and stop him?" Aramis only shook her head at Porthos.
"Go and have some fun, I'm good here." She said, seeing the way Porthos was glancing over at a game of cards going on in a corner of the bar. Porthos sent a grateful look and grabbed his pint and walked over.
She was debating on whether to just head home after finishing her drink when a man came over and leaned on the bar next to her. "What are you drinking?" He asked, and Aramis smiled sweetly at him as she gave him her order. Maybe she could stick around for a little longer. "My name's Cameron." The man said, passing the drink over.
"René." She smiled back at him, appreciating the way Cameron was looking over her. She'd been too busy for the last few weeks to really spend time with anyone outside of Athos and Porthos so it was nice the attention.
"René, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman." Aramis blushed a little at the words, not arguing when his arm draped over her waist. That was until a figure appeared behind her.
"Hands off." Athos's tone was forceful and Cameron glared at the older man as Aramis silently cursed her friend.
"What are you her boyfriend?" She did not expect what happened next.
Athos pulled Aramis too him and kissed her full on the mouth. She let out a little noise of protest as his warm lips met hers but didn't pull away until Athos was finished. Aramis felt a little light headed as Athos told Cameron to piss off, still holding Aramis close to him. When the other man left, frowning at the couple, Athos released Aramis and walked back over to his table. A dark flush appeared on Aramis' face as the older man left and she didn't stop to think before hitting him across the face.
The next day Athos came into the office with a huge bruise on his cheeks, while Aramis wouldn't look directly at him, still remembering the kiss from the night before. When Athos asked what was wrong she'd nearly hit him again before realising he had no idea what had happened the night before.
Current Day…
"After that, Aramis wouldn't go near drunk Athos for a full month." Porthos grinned as he finished explaining what had happened. D'artagnan tried to hold back a laugh as a Aramis' cheeks turned a dark shade of red.
Another snore appeared from Athos and Aramis said, "There was also the time drunk Athos here mistook Porthos for a bed." Porthos glared at Aramis but she only shrugged as D'artagnan leant a little further in.
2 Year beforehand ….
Somehow, the two had managed to get Athos out of the pub and where now climbing the steps to the older mans' flat. He wasn't saying much as Aramis ducked from underneath one arm to open the door. Athos mumbled something as they guided him to the sofa and Aramis went into the kitchen to get some water for Athos to drink.
Porthos went to stand up to help get Athos' clothes, ready for bed when his friend grabbed his shirt and buried his head in Porthos' shoulder. Mortified, Porthos looked down at Athos to find the older man curled up like a cat on the sofa, clinging to Porthos shirt.
"He looks adorable." Aramis muttered, walking over and handing Porthos the cup.
"Athos, drink this." The older man groaned but did as he was told. When he was finished, he curled himself further into Porthos' leg and rested his head on the bigger mans' lap.
Porthos looked helplessly at Aramis as Athos started snoring, asleep. Thinking it was the perfect time to escape, Porthos tried to move Athos only to have the other man growl and drag himself further into Porthos' lap, still asleep.
Current Day ….
"Poor Porthos was stuck like that till morning when he could escape." Aramis grinned as D'artagnan burst out laughing. The laughter disturbed Athos who blinked bleary eyed at them.
"What's going on?" Athos asked, turning to each of his friends in turn and surprised to find D'artagnan burst out laughing when he looked at him.
"D'artagnan here is going to take you home." Porthos replied, seeing a way to get revenge on their young friend. D'artagnan shook his head quickly, not wanting to look after a drunk Athos after hearing what his friends had just said.
Athos only grunted as D'artagnan let his face fall onto his hands. Aramis and Porthos waved goodbye as D'artagnan helped Athos out of the chair. The older man fell onto his shoulder and D'artagnan struggled under the older mans' full eight as they walked out of the bar, Athos drooling on his shoulder a little on the way back.
….
When D'artagnan finally managed to get Athos into bed, he thought he'd escaped whatever hell Aramis and Porthos had planned for him with the help of an unknowing and extremely drunk Athos. That was, at least, until he tried to move.
"Athos." D'artagnan hissed. Athos' legs were on top of D'artagnan and for a sleeping man he was surprisingly strong. D'artagnan shook him a little, trying to wake him p but all he got was a snore from the sleeping man.
Seeing that he was stuck on the bed for the remainder of the night, D'artagnan swore silently, promising to get revenge on Aramis and Porthos for letting him deal with this drunk stage of Athos.
I tried to make this one humorous as my last ones' have been a little heavy but I don't know if I succeeded or not as I'm not that good with writing humour.
As always please review and tell me if you have any one shots you want me to write :)