Ten
Sirius snuck out of Malfoy Manor just before dawn, with the help of a rather dotty house-elf with bat-like ears and a nose shaped like a tomato, and Severus returned to his bedroom. He showered before sliding between the sheets of the four-poster to get a few hours of sleep. Needless to say, he and Sirius had done very little sleeping. If they hadn't been lovemaking, they'd been talking.
Severus' sleep was fitful, filled with dreams of the terrible consequences of their actions. Voldemort or James Potter or Lucius could so easily discover them, and it would be disastrous. The Wizarding world was generally accepting when it came to things like this, but Hogwarts was always an exception to any rule. His rivalry with James Potter ran too deep for Potter to just overlook the fact that Severus was his best friend's boyfriend, and Lucius would not tolerate any behaviour in Severus that would jeopardise his position with Lord Voldemort. And Lord Voldemort…Severus couldn't believe he was a particularly understanding or accepting man.
If he were sensible, he would break things off with Sirius. But he was in too deep now to back out. He was more afraid of being without Sirius than being with him.
He rolled out of bed and rummaged in the writing desk beneath the window for parchment and a quill. He knew he was being sentimental and girly, but he couldn't help it. Every molecule in his body craved to be near Sirius.
miss you already
Those three words could substitute the other three Severus was too afraid to say right now. Severus walked quietly to the room between the library and Lucius' study where the seven Malfoy eagle owls lived. Severus selected Salazar and set him on his way. He was the fastest of the owls, and would arrive in London in a few hours.
On the return to his room, he collided with Narcissa.
"I'm sorry," Narcissa whispered, "I didn't see you. Happy Christmas."
"Happy Christmas, Mrs Malfoy."
"Honestly Severus, I'm two years older than you. We were at Hogwarts together. You can still call me Narcissa."
"Right. Narcissa. You're up early." Severus wondered then if this was a tactless thing to say to a woman the morning after her wedding. They both knew what she'd been doing the previous night.
"I'm a bit of an early riser. We didn't see you at the reception. My Aunt Walburga was also unable to find my cousin Sirius throughout the whole of the evening."
"I'm sure she was terribly upset about it." Severus said before he could stop himself.
Narcissa took in the outraged expression and Severus' face and began to piece parts of the puzzle together. She knew all about her cousin's reputation and she thought she'd spotted the two of them escaping the reception at the same time. "Let's have a chat, shall we?"
The last thing Severus wanted was a conversation with Lucius' wife about this, but somehow he didn't think he could say no to Narcissa. She led him into the parlour reserved specifically for the lady of the Manor's use.
"Am I right in assuming you and Sirius are romantically involved?"
Severus' silence was confirmation enough.
"You can relax, I'm not going to tell anyone. It's not even my business, really, but I thought I'd let you know that I'm here for you. Sirius is my cousin and he's always been kind to me, which is difficult to find in my family. And Lucius is so terribly fond of you, I would hate it if you and I couldn't get along."
"I'm afraid." Severus blurted, cursing himself for doing it. "If anyone at school finds out about me and Sirius, we don't have a chance. And Lucius will never accept this."
"You never know. He could surprise you."
"I know you're his wife, but the two of you only really met last night. Trust me, he's never going to accept the fact that I'm gay." Saying it out loud made it frighteningly real. "And Voldemort won't like it much either." Wasn't that the largest understatement in the history of the world?
"You've done a good job of keeping it secret thus far." Narcissa frowned, "I wouldn't worry about it."
"But I don't want to live in secrecy forever. I want a real life with Sirius, not a lifetime of sneaking around with him and pretending to hate him in public." It terrified Severus, the intensity with which he felt the desire to be with Sirius, in a real, public relationship.
"I wish I could help more. I can promise you both a safe haven or a rendezvous place once I give birth to a male heir, but until then I am rather powerless."
"Why are you so eager to help? I don't believe it's just because you want to get along with me for Lucius' benefit."
"You're risking everything you have to be with someone you love. I was never allowed the chance to fall in love. There's too much hate in this world and the love that is here needs to be looked after, or it's liable to turn to hate too."
Severus didn't know how to respond. Any way he did would be as good as admitting he was in love with Sirius. It may have been the truth, but he wasn't about to go telling everyone he knew. Some discretion was required in cases such as these.
"Thank you." Severus said after an awkward pause.
Narcissa nodded once before turning her head towards the door. "I think I hear Lucius. We best both get back to where we ought to be."
"Where have you been?" Walburga snarled as Sirius crossed the threshold into the kitchen. "Still wearing the clothes from last night, I see."
Sirius flicked his hair out of his eyes and ignored his mother's comments, collecting a plate of food from Kreacher, the family house elf. He hated Sirius just as much as Sirius' parents did, maybe more, so fierce was his loyalty to his master and mistress.
Sirius started towards the stairs to go eat in his room, but before he could, he felt the familiar cloud of blankness filling his mind and his mother's voice echoing around his empty head, "Sit down, Sirius."
He fought it as much as he could, but Sirius was inevitably powerless against Walburga's Imperius curse. He dropped into a chair and slammed his plate down on the table.
"I do not care to know what or whom you were doing last night, but I will not tolerate such disrespectful behaviour in my own house. Firstly, we're going to do something about your hair, because it is beyond ridiculous." Walburga muttered a few spells and Sirius felt most of the weight from his head disappear. His hand jumped to his head to discover his mother had shorn off all of his hair and he was now sporting a close-cropped, military look.
"Mother!" He roared in protest.
"Oh, calm down. I'm sure one of your friends knows a growth charm and you'll get it back to it's usual sloppiness in no time."
"Then what's the point of changing it?"
"Because I can." Walburga smiled cruelly. "Now, your brother has a dinner at Malfoy Manor this evening and your father and I are going to a Christmas party. We are loathe to leave you in the house on your own, but it seems we have no other choice."
"Is Father afraid I'll make off with the Black family good silver? Seeing as it doesn't actually belong to me."
Walburga went slightly pale, before snapping, "Honestly, the nonsense that comes out of your mouth sometimes."
"We both know it's not nonsense, Mother."
"You don't know anything. Your performance on your O.W.L.s made that abundantly clear."
"Happy Christmas to you too, Mother."
Sirius pushed away from the table and stormed out of the room. He stomped up the two flights of stairs and slammed his door twice for good measure. When he glanced at his windowsill, he found a giant eagle owl waiting for him. He crossed to the window and pushed it half open, letting the bird hop inside.
There was a scrap of parchment tied to its leg and Sirius untied it quickly, unfurling it to recognise Severus' slanted handwriting.
The words on the parchment made Sirius' bad mood disappear and he sat at his own desk to scrawl off a reply.
Miss you more.
Walburga chopped off all my hair. Will you help me re-grow it when we get back to school? I suppose you'll be seeing my git of a brother tonight. Be sure to embarrass him in front of everyone for me.
Also, I nicked your long-sleeved black t-shirt, in case you're looking for it. It smelled like you.
Sirius found he could write things to Severus he would never actually be able to say in person. Perhaps it was years in this household, but Sirius didn't know how to show affection. He could be physically involved with people, but he was an emotional idiot. It was difficult, caring this much for Severus when he knew it was a relationship destined for disaster. Voldemort or Lucius or James would come between them, it was only a matter of time.
Sirius,
I don't think Lucius will appreciate it if I humiliate your brother. He seems to share your parents' opinion where Regulus is concerned.
I've been trying to imagine your short hair and I really hope it doesn't look as bad as I've pictured it. How will you ever accomplish the sexy grin hair-flip combo without the hair to flip?
I had noticed my shirt missing, actually. I'll be sure to steal one of yours the next time I see you.
Severus
Sev,
I'm sure my hair looks worse than you're imagining. You'll have to fix it if you ever want to see another hair-flip again.
Are you sure you can't make Reg look like an idiot? Maybe if he's awkward enough, Voldemort won't let him join the club. On second thought, let him join and why can't you make a fool out of yourself?
Sirius
Sirius,
You know I can't do that. I don't want to talk about Voldemort. I know he puts you in a bad mood.
Sev
It's not him that puts me a bad mood.
Sirius
What is it then?
Sev
I don't want to talk about it. Enjoy your dinner party.
Severus sat around the Malfoy Manor dining room table with the other sixth year Slytherins, some seventh years and a few fifth years, Regulus Black included.
At the heads of the table sat Lucius and Lord Voldemort himself. He was an intimidating man, with dark hair and classically handsome features. His skin looked as if it had never seen the sun and his eyes gleamed with power and something else Severus couldn't recognise. Lucius had seated him directly to Voldemort's left, and the guest of honour turned to address Severus.
"Severus Snape, I believe." Voldemort spoke in a hushed voice, not wanting to be overheard.
"Yes, sir."
"Lucius has explained to me your…special circumstances. You are a half-blood?"
"Yes. My mother is a Prince. My father is a lousy Muggle drunk."
"I see something of myself in you, Severus. You see, my father too was less than satisfactory. Lucius also tells me you have an aptitude for Potions."
"Yes sir."
"Are you working on anything at the moment?"
"Professor Slughorn—
"I am not interested in what Horace is teaching you. The man is an idiot, very easily influenced. I am asking about your personal ventures outside of the classroom."
"I don't have much opportunity," Severus admitted, "but I've improved several of the potions instructions in the sixth year Potions textbook, making them more potent. Things like that…come easily to me."
"This is good to hear. You sit your N.E.W.T.s next year?"
Severus nodded.
"Provided you do well on those and don't do anything…foolish between now and then, I will pay for you to receive further education in Potions so you can contribute your particular talents to our cause."
"I'm very honoured, sir."
Voldemort's eyes narrowed, "Remember, nothing foolish."
Severus shuddered a little at the dangerous look in Voldemort's eyes. There was something reptilian about them.
Regulus Black sat across the table from Severus, on Voldemort's right.
When he addressed Regulus, his voice was loud enough for everyone to hear, "Regulus, you have a brother in Gryffindor, do you not?"
"Yes. My parents have spent the last six years rather displeased with him."
"I imagine so. Your parents are very supportive of the cause, and obviously a blood traitor for a son is an obstacle against them."
"He's more than a blood traitor." Regulus rolled his eyes.
"Really?" Voldemort arched an eyebrow.
"He's slept his way through half of Hogwarts. There were rumours he'd gotten a seventh year pregnant last year."
"A father at fifteen. Tsk tsk." Voldemort clicked his tongue. "Anything else we should know about your brother?"
"He's not sleeping around anymore. At least, not with girls."
Regulus met Severus eyes over the table and Severus knew that he knew.
"How very enlightening. I understand why your parents are having such difficulties with him."
Your brother knows about us. He mentioned to Voldemort you're not interested in girls anymore. He left me out of it, but there's no guarantee that he won't tell.
Sirius swore colourfully under his breath. He strode out of his room and across the hall into his brother's.
"Are you spying on me?" Sirius snarled.
"Someone has to keep an eye on you. I'm not an idiot. I saw you sneak off with Snape during Lucius' wedding."
"Keep your nose out, Reg, or I swear—
"I'm not going to rat the two of you out."
Sirius gaped at his brother.
"Voldemort likes Snape for some reason. He spoke to him alone in Lucius' study for twenty minutes after dinner. And Malfoy treats Snape like his brother. Obviously getting on Snape's bad side isn't going to get me anywhere."
"You're not as dumb as you look, Reg."
"I guess it evens out then, since you're ten times dumber than you look. You're an idiot if you think no one is going to find out."
Sirius turned on his heel and strode out of his brother's room, slamming the door behind him. Inside his own room, he paced furiously for a few moments. He felt like time was running away from him. Obviously as Voldemort gained more power and more supporters, the closer Sirius and Severus would be to the end of their relationship. Sirius didn't like admitting the dread that filled him with that thought. He hunched over his desk, hastily scrawling a note to Severus and sending it with the Malfoy owl that was still waiting there.
I need to see you. Can you arrange to get back to Hogwarts early?
I'm not sure.
Please.
There was something so desperate in Sirius' one-worded letter that Severus couldn't refuse.
I'll be there tomorrow.
Severus didn't know how Lucius would feel about his returning to school early, but he needed to try. Perhaps he would go to Narcissa first. She had told him she was a sympathetic ear, after all. If Lucius didn't agree, he'd have to sneak out. He packed his trunk quickly. He wanted to be ready, no matter which option he ended up with.
Once his trunk was packed, he strode down the hall to Narcissa's private sitting room and tapped on the door lightly. He heard her soft voice invite him in and he eased the door open slowly. To his disappointment, he discovered Lucius also in the room with Narcissa.
"Severus," Lucius practically beamed at him. "We were just discussing the Dark Lord's approval of you."
"Oh." Severus tried to look pleased and failed miserably.
"What's wrong?" Narcissa's face creased with concern.
"I was wondering…I feel as if…would you be terribly angry with me if I went back to Hogwarts tomorrow?"
"You want to go back to school? This early?" Lucius frowned. It was not a good sign.
"Well, it's just…it's your honeymoon and I don't want to be an imposition."
"You're not imposing, is he, Cissy?"
"Of course not." Narcissa looked on him with kind eyes, "Is it perhaps about what we discussed the other morning?"
Severus nodded.
"What did you discuss?" Lucius looked confused. "When?"
"Severus and I happened upon each other the morning after the wedding. He's been having a…relationship problem and asked my advice."
"Have you found a girlfriend, Severus?" Lucius asked.
"Not exactly. There's someone I like, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way. She's staying at school over the holiday and I was hoping maybe if I was there too…"
Severus had never told an outright lie to Lucius before, and he hoped the man couldn't tell.
"Well, then, I think you must go back. Who is this girl?"
"I…erm…"
"He wouldn't tell me either." Narcissa said quickly, "Doesn't want to jinx it."
"Ah…of course. You have my blessing to go...make a move?"
Severus nodded and thanked Lucius.
"We'll send you through the Floo tomorrow morning."
"I'm going back to school tomorrow." Sirius announced at dinner, running a hand over his shorn hair.
Orion didn't even look up from his steak and kidney pie and Reg shot him a look across the table that said, I know exactly what you're doing.
Walburga pursed her lips and seemed to be counting backwards from ten, which was odd, since she rarely attempted to control her temper with him. When she did speak, all she said was, "Fine."
He'd been hoping for a fight, but wasn't going to complain about not having to get in a screaming match over going back to Hogwarts, when he knew full well they'd have a celebratory dinner tomorrow night to rejoice in his absence.
All that mattered was he would see Severus in less than twenty-four hours.
A/N: Oh, that Walburga, using Unforgivables on Sirius and cutting off all his beautiful hair. Whatever shall we do with her?
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