Chapter Nine: Selfishness
1
Amidst a chaotic bustle of labcoats and clipboards, a single man with the number 19 on his shirt wailed over the commotion.
"Minna-san! I need your attention, please; I need everyone's—oi!" A shrill whistle silenced the room, and Eguchi Meijin adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "Thank you. Now, we have a lot of work to do, so listen carefully! In order to find out as much as we can about this navi…"
He pointed to a holographic chamber, in which Imi EXE ping-ponged off the walls, crazed in her captivity.
"…we must take some precautions. This…" He held up a shiny green sphere. "This is what we're calling the Deconstruction Device. Echo is trapped inside it, and she cannot get out unless you let her out. Contact with any computer that is not isolated from the net will give her a clean route of escape. From there, she can get anywhere the net reaches and anywhere into the real world. Now, are there any questions?"
"Where is Hikari-hakase? Shouldn't he be leading the research team?"
"Hikari-hakase is…unavailable," said Meijin. "It cannot be helped."
"Oh come on, Meijin, don't play us for idiots! We all know he was doing something secret in his lab!"
"He can spend twenty-five hours a day working on his special project, but he can't spare a minute to look at this navi?"
"Do you have any idea who this is? This is Echo! My son was downtown this morning when she attacked; he's been taken to the hospital! We're wasting our time trying to study her. We should turn her over to the Net Police and decompile her bits!"
A dozen more voices joined the uproar in both support and condemnation of this remark. Meijin tried his best to calm the masses. "Everyone, please! We are scientists, not executioners! Please!"
Imi thrashed and yelled in her cage, tortured by the silence she'd worked so hard for. "Help me, Masuyo-chan! Help me, Papa! Papa!"
Sakurai Meiru dialed down the volume and swiveled away from the spectacle. Caged as she was, Imi needed a keeper. For now, Meiru and Roll were willing to fill the bill, but the job was…unsettling.
And lonely.
"I wonder where Netto is."
"How can you say that, Meiru-chan!" said Roll. "After everything Imi-chan did, after she used us, all you can think about is Netto-san!"
The drumming stopped, and Meiru's finger twitched. "What did you say?"
"She made fools out of us," said Roll. "Can't you see? All the times we were kind to her, all the times we tried to protect her— she turned them against us! She made out like a poor, hurt little girl, but she was always just pretending, waiting for us to let her go off on her own, so she could delete another navi!"
"She's captured, Roll," said Meiru. "It's done."
"It's not done! She deleted Grove, she killed Egami-san, and she almost deleted me."
"I know that. You don't have to remind me."
"Then you should be angry! Why aren't you angry, Meiru-chan?"
"Did you forget when Meijin-san captured her in the Deconstruction Device?"
"I remember it. He rolled the green ball to her feet, and she disappeared inside it."
"I mean before that."
"I don't understand."
"Think about it."
—
"Papa! Papa, why…?"
Meiru seldom woke to the sound of weeping, least of all a navi's weeping, but Imi wallowed in a pool of her own tears.
"Whatever you do," Meijin said, "don't touch her. Do you understand?"
Two officers nodded and pointed their guns at Imi, but they were loathe to fire. Meiru crawled to her feet and wiped her head, but her hand brushed against Roll's—her own—antenna.
We're still in Cross Fusion.
Beside her, the two boys—Netto and Dingo—rolled over and coughed up debris and particulates.
"Masuyo-chan? Where did you go, Masuyo-chan? Why won't you speak to me anymore?"
"What happened?" asked Netto. "Where's Papa? Nakamura-hakase?"
"I don't know," said Meiru. "They're gone."
"What—what is this?" Dingo nudged the white apron and blue pigtails with the tomahawk, but the figure didn't stir.
"Egami-san!" Netto rolled Egami over. "Wake up, Egami-san!"
"Netto, look."
He stepped back, and the carpet squished under his weight. A puddle of red soup engulfed his foot.
Egami's corpse thudded on the floor, and Netto clenched his fist. "She did this. Echo! You did this!"
"I just thought we could be together…" Sniff. "Papa…"
"Why did you kill her? Answer me!"
"Is it because of her? She touched me; it's not my fault! It's not my fault…"
"It is your fault!" said Netto. "Rockbuster!" He leveled the barrel on her. "Take this!"
Pew! Imi tumbled on the floor. Pew! She lay flat on her chest. Pew! "Papa! Help me, Papa! Papa!"
"Tomahawk Air Raid!" The blade slashed open her side, but the wound sealed and healed.
"Please, Papa! Masuyo-chan! Help me! Speak to me!"
Pew! "This is for Cardman!" said Netto. Pew! "And this one's for Rouletteman!" Pew, pew, pew! "And Roll and Grove and Rush!"
"Netto, stop!" said Meiru. "Look at her!"
"And for Egami—"
"Masuyo-chan!" Imi scrambled to her feet and clung to the base of Masuyo's tank, hugged it in an inadequate embrace, for her arms reached only halfway around. Netto's aim wavered, and he dropped his arm.
"What are you doing, Netto?" said Dingo. "It's Echo! Shoot!"
But the brunet boy shook his head, and the Rockbuster yielded, showing his own fist instead. "Echo's a little girl," he said. "A little girl who cries for her father, for her operator."
A tiny green marble rolled into the room, and Imi disappeared within. Meijin palmed the marble—the Deconstruction Device—and said, "Don't worry, everyone. It's safe. She can't get away now."
—
"If she hadn't gone for Masuyo-san, he would've shot," said Roll. "Wouldn't he?"
"No, he wouldn't," said Meiru. "I trust Netto."
"I don't understand it, Meiru-chan. She did such awful things, and yet you sympathize with her!"
"She's awful, and I'm glad she's locked up," said Meiru, "but it's because she's locked up I can sympathize with her."
"She's an evil navi! An evil little girl! Only evil people do what she did."
"I know she hurt you, Roll."
"It wouldn't change if it weren't me; she hurt a lot of people!"
"She betrayed you."
The pink navi shuddered. "Meiru-chan—"
"She betrayed your goodwill. She turned your heart against you."
Roll's fingers traced the perimeter of her emblem, the heart on the gold circle, which stuck on her chest.
"It will take time," Meiru said, "but that wound will heal, too."
Roll gazed across space at Imi, who fell to her knees and called to the heavens. "I just wanted it to be quiet," she said, "but…this is not what I wanted! I wanted Papa! Where is my papa?"
Imi never healed from that wound. Her father rejected her, and it tormented her to this day. She never recovered. Why should Roll? Why should Roll be the one to let go and forget?
Why should she have to forgive this girl?
Roll and Meiru turned their backs on Imi and meditated in darkness. Imi cried out to them, to the world itself, but by the time her voice met Roll's ears, her lament died to a faint whisper, soft enough that Roll strained to hear. Though she wanted nothing more than to ignore them, she listened to Imi's confessions, but they wound and repeated, like a corrupted song.
Like an echo.
2
"Mama and I haven't shown this box to anyone since…"
Yuuichirou cut the tape that sealed the cardboard flaps and removed the contents one by one: a newspaper clipping about a heart disease, HBD, and one of its lesser-known victims, "Hikari Saito, the infant son of famed scientist Hikari Yuuichirou." A creased photo of two baby boys, a matching pair of fuzzy boots and caps…
"We were thrilled," Yuuichirou said. "We were thrilled right up to the time we learned that Saito was ill, and even then, we had hope. Mama had hope longer than I did. The doctors felt like they couldn't tell her, so they told me instead. They inflated the odds in front of her, but I knew. I always knew. That's when I began working on a way to save you, Saito."
Rockman shivered. He'd pondered the question of Saito far too long to hear that name so casually used, let alone as a namefor him.
"Even still, you had the mind of a baby," said Yuuichirou. "There was only so much I could borrow from other navis and programs to grow your mind the way a human's would."
"I think you did very well, Papa," said Rockman.
"I can't tell you how pleased I was, to see that you'd matured so well! That you got along with Netto, that you complemented each other…" He brushed his eye. "But there's still something that needs to be done, and to be honest, I should've asked you a long time ago, Saito."
"What is it, Papa?"
"Do you want to be human?"
The Hikari boys looked at each other in shock and awe.
"You don't have to answer it now," said Yuuichirou. "There's still time; it's just…I've been working for so long to bring you back, it should've occurred to me that you might want to stay as a navi. You have a life of your own."
But the possibilities! Oh the wondrous, joyous possibilities. To walk in the real world, to have the sunshine tingle your skin…
…to meet Netto face-to-face and embrace him, not as a navi, but as a brother.
They had embraced before, in the parallel reality of Beyondard, where substantiated navis took their war of the beasts to the real world. There, Netto summoned Rockman to existence, and together, they defeated Zoan Snakeman of Falzer and rescued the Beyondard alternate of Colonel.
More than that, though: they saw eye-to-eye—human and navi met in the same world— and at long last, they could be true brothers-in-arms.
But I never thought we would be true brothers. I never imagined…
That was Beyondard, though, and while the denizens of that other dimension also liked to call this world Beyondard as well, Rockman couldn't simply get up and walk around the human world, and there were many times he wished he could have. Like when thieves stole his PET in Ameroupe, or when Netto first tried Cross Fusion and collapsed from the strain.
But then, none of those situations would've even occurred if he'd always been human. Netto would never have met Raoul and Thunderman, who helped the Net Saviors foil Nebula and then Duo. Similarly, Netto never would've been able to use Cross Fusion had Rockman stayed as Saito. How many evils had they defeated thanks to their partnership? How many would've conquered the net—nay, the world—were it not for their intervention? Would Regal rule the Earth and keep it locked under the barrier of a worldwide dimensional area? Would Duo have judged humanity unworthy and destroyed them all?
"Netto-kun, what should I do?"
"I don't know."
As the Hikari boys left the shattered remnants of their father's laboratory, a dozen men lugged two cloaked tanks from the room, ostensibly to a second lab, where falling concrete wouldn't threaten Yuuichirou's work, but neither Rockman nor Netto asked.
They ventured upstairs, where television screens showcased Echo's path of destruction. Men in orange suits swept standing water off the street, and ambulances swerved around glass minefields that showered from the skyscrapers above.
And then, they showed the face of Echo's latest victim: 15-year-old Egami Aya. She carried a flower pot on a sunny day; her grin and cheer outshone the brightest star. Over her shoulder, Grove bowed for the camera, and her crown of petals bloomed and pulsed with brilliant pink and white.
"I'm sorry, Egami-san," said Netto.
They happened upon the conference room. Meijin and the gaggle of scientists split into teams to analyze Imi byte by byte, but she did not threaten death upon them or scream for her freedom—nay, she called out only to her father, to her operator: to Hideki and Masuyo.
"She thinks Masuyo-san is alive," said Roll. "At least, I think that's what she's saying."
"I'm not really sure what she's saying," said Meiru. "Netto, where have you been?"
Where he'd been was a complicated question. Where he was going was even more complicated. Indeed, as Netto skated home that night, he strayed from the usual path, the quickest path. More than that, Rockman couldn't see fit to correct him. Instead, they found themselves at the park. Despite all the chaos that had befallen the town, the cries and cat-calls of children rang out under metal slides and chain-link swings.
"We should've been like them," said Rockman. "They don't know any different."
His brother nodded.
"Netto-kun, you haven't said anything. What do you think?"
The boy looked across the sand; castles and ditches dotted the landscape. "I think…I have a brother, and I didn't know I had a brother until today."
"We don't have to make the choice now," Rockman said, "but—"
Netto folded his arms behind his head. "I'm going to miss battling with you, nii-san."
"Nii-san?"
"Papa did say you were the older brother. It would be disrespectful to call my older brother by name."
"Netto-kun, I think you're taking this a little far."
"If you say so…" He grinned. "…nii-san."
Rockman laughed nervously. I think I can only handle one new name today.
"But whatever you decide, I'll understand," said Netto. "Human or navi, you are my brother."
If Netto had any other thoughts on the subject, he didn't share them. They headed back home, and there Netto enjoyed the fruits of Mama's cooking, the scrumptious aroma of curry in the afternoon—a boy's favorite dish prepared the way only a mother could know.
But Mama, I'm your son, too. Papa told me.
He and Netto exchanged a glance; they could tell her that they knew, but how could either of them bring back the sad memories of Saito's passing? Surely she knew all along that Rockman was Saito and derived joy from having a house of two boys again, and that joy was a private joy, too, one that she could call her own as long as it was a secret. Secret joys were meant to be kept secret.
And Rockman could only imagine her answer to his question. "Should I become human, Mama?"
Even that was the wrong question. It wasn't about whether he should or should not become human, was it? It was about what he wanted; did he want to become human?
Do I want to be human? Do I want to be Saito?
What would his life be like if he were human? Would he and Netto skate to school together? Would they have curry-eating contests at Maha Ichiban?
Would they battle each other with navis of their own?
Netto-kun…with another navi?
As a navi, Rockman was always there to keep tabs on Netto: he woke him up in the morning (well, most of the time), he reminded him to do his homework (and to do it by himself and not leech off Meiru). He chastised him for his tardiness and knocked Netto down a peg when his brother's ego distorted his sense of reality. Only Netto's navi would have such a constant, steady pulse on his life, and if Rockman became human, he would lose that. He would have his own life to live.
And his own navi. How awkward would that be? How could he ask another program to do for him what he did for Netto? How could he leave all his navi friends behind? Give up sparring with Gutsman, Net Savior missions with Blues and Searchman, or strolling about Internet City with…
Roll-chan, of course! Roll-chan would know what to do. After all, Roll always listened to him if he had a problem to talk out and couldn't consult Netto. Her suggestions were often a bit…fantastic (Netto's on a curry binge? Let's distract him with a virus attack; surely that'll work!), but she was attentive to a fault, and no doubt she would support him and offer him some advice.
But could he confide in her this secret?
"I think you can," said Netto. "When Meiru-chan gets home, I'll ask her to connect her PET to the net again, so you and Roll can talk."
That was simple enough, but there was another issue at hand that gave Rockman pause.
"It doesn't need explaining! It shouldn't!"
That was an age ago. Much had happened since Roll uttered those words less than a day ago: Echo snuffed out Rouletteman, Grove, and Egami, and more than that, she hid in their midst the whole time, and yet…was she truly evil? Insane? Both?
I should've seen it earlier. The signs were all there from the beginning. She was always gone when Echo attacked, and the touching! I knew she was out of the ordinary, but Imi-chan and Echo?
Still, it was best to put that matter to bed. She was gone, locked away, and may there never be another of her kind again.
All the same, was it petty of him to think not of Imi's victims but of his own dilemma—or Roll—instead?
No, we can't change the past. We have to move on from it.
Thus, Rockman floated in cyberspace, waiting outside a closed gate for Meiru and Roll to come home and open it again. Perhaps it wasn't petty of him to forget the legacy of Echo, but it was selfish of him to dump all his problems on Roll and hope that she could solve them, especially when she clearly had something on her mind herself.
It's decided, then. I'll try to understand what's been bothering her, and then maybe she can help me. It's the least that I owe her.
The gate pulsed, and Rockman stepped within.
"If he were dead, I might as well be dead, too."
Rockman balked midway through. Maybe this isn't a good idea after all.
But Roll beckoned him; her voice rippled across the gateway. "Rockman? Is that you?"
He shook off his doubt (Roll-chan is Roll-chan. She'll know what to do.) and passed through the gate, tranquil and calm.
Tranquil…and calm.
3
"Can you tell me why, Imi-chan?"
The girl in the white skirt shrank from the pink navi and her prodding antennae.
"Tell me!"
Imi shook her head. "It must've been an accident—that I heard their voices, I mean. Papa didn't seem to know anything about it."
"That doesn't excuse your behavior," said Roll.
"You didn't hear them, all right?" She clashed against a wall of hot blue rods, but their flames scorched her hands, and she jumped away. "You didn't hear them," she said. "You know sometimes you asked me questions and I wouldn't answer? It's because they were talking to me. When they're all talking at once, I can't tell what's real and what's from them! I can't tell what thoughts are even mine or theirs."
"So they told you to kill."
"Yes! Believe it or not, yes! I don't understand it either, but that's what they wanted. They saw what I saw, heard what I heard." She plopped on the floor. "We drove each other crazy."
"Is that what you call it."
"They were evil people, Roll-san; they were all evil. From the first time Sonicman touched me, he had nothing but hatred for his 'imprisonment' in my mind. They were all that way, every last one of them."
"Don't forget: I knew Grove. She may have been cold and rude, but she was not evil."
"Especially Grove. She was so irritating; she could never stop trying to outwit me. Her words were full of disdain and disgust. She and Slateman—they never shut up. I was so glad when he died."
"You killed him too?"
"You remember when Grove touched me? She saw my memories, heard my thoughts. I used that against Slateman. I put my own data into him, and Hikari-hakase fell for it."
Roll shook her head. One minute Imi would implore Roll to understand her plight, her suffering, but the next, she would revel in having deceived and manipulated her victims.
And I'm supposed to forgive her? I'm supposed to forget?
"I'm glad your father rejected you," said Roll. "You aren't worthy of anyone's love."
"Roll-san!" Imi flinched, and her eyes glazed over with a new layer of water. "How—how could you?"
"Don't think you can deny it!"
Fresh tears dripped from the tip Imi's nose. "I thought you were different, Roll-san…"
"Different enough to use, so you could get to the others?"
"I hoped you'd be kind, unlike the others, the voices. I never wanted to hurt you or Rockman-san."
"But you did hurt me, Imi-chan! Don't you remember?"
"I stayed at your bedside the whole night; I remember! Do you think if I wanted to kill you just for the sake of killing you I'd have done that?"
"You would've gotten caught."
"Maybe so, but I never came after you. You know that. I only attacked you to protect my secret."
"That doesn't make it right, Imi-chan!"
"I know! But I had to make them go away, so I could be with Papa again. He told me I was broken, and I thought that the voices were what he meant, but…it wasn't."
"You did all this for the sake of yourself and your papa?"
Imi's eyes pierced the bars. "Wouldn't you, Roll-san? Wouldn't you do anything for Rockman-san?"
For…for Rockman?
"I know you care for him," said Imi. "I always knew."
"Don't bring Rockman into this!" said Roll. "It's not the same!"
"It is the same! I love Papa. After Masuyo-chan died, he was the only thing left in my life, and he threw me away…" She sniffled. "He left Masuyo-chan's PET to die on her desk. He didn't even take it with him because he knew I might come back."
"That's different," Roll said. "He's your father."
"It's not! Papa made me to keep Masuyo-chan company as she was dying, to make her giggle and smile to the end. I used to think he made me for her, so she would be comfortable, but he didn't. He made me for him, so he could enjoy her laughter. I had to make her happy to make him happy. I couldn't make him happy myself. I could only make him sad."
He made her and threw her away. He took all her energy and left this thing behind.
"I hope you make him happy, Roll-san."
Roll jerked in her seat. "What?"
"I hope he makes you happy, too. It'd be sad if he didn't." At that, Imi turned her back on Roll and watched the crowd of scientists as they picked her data apart.
And Roll's mind melted into a sea of uncertainty. No doubt Imi was still every bit the despicable monster Roll believed her to be, but it made a lot more sense to say that she formed from something—was the result of something—than to say she was born evil, written to be a murderer. Sure, if Roll could believe Imi, then chance had a part to play in Imi's motives, for who could've guessed that her imitative programming would make her hear the voices of the people she touched?
But chance was something out of their control. What was in their control were actions—what people do and how they respond to each other. This, at least, was a discipline Roll studied to some length, if only to help Meiru understand the inscrutable behavior of a certain next-door neighbor with blue bandana. "Is he ignoring me," Meiru would wonder, "or is he just that dumb not to call when I want to see him?"
The usual consensus was "he's just that dumb." After all, anything short of precognition constituted stupid in Meiru's book, particularly on Netto's part.
Regardless of Hikari Netto's faults, Roll did appreciate Imi's circumstances. It's why I took her in—she was alone. A human who kicked out their daughter's navi and lacked the decency to find a replacement operator committed a high crime in Roll's eyes. Like Netto-san said, she's a little girl.
But Imi's actions after that were her own. Did she fight? Did she resist the urge to "silence" the voices within?
"I tried, Roll-san!" Imi said. "I tried and tried, but they were so many, and Sonicman—he was an accident! I didn't know what I was doing; I just wanted him to stop yelling at me, screaming at me…"
But then, when he was silent, she took his place and blamed Pickman and the others for her loss of control. Her lie brought them back to the Treble Clef and incited their attack.
She did it to herself. She caused her own suffering and forced everyone else to suffer with her.
Of course, had her father shown her love, everyone would be happy, and no one would need to suffer.
He rejected her, and she went mad because of it.
"I hope he makes you happy, too," Imi had said. "It'd be sad if he didn't."
After long hours watching Imi, Meiru walked home. The PET bounced and bobbed with each step. This motion turned Roll's stomach, and she closed the window on the outside world. What was worse, she couldn't blame her queasiness on a meal or illness, for navis experienced neither of these human peculiarities.
I feel sick because Imi-chan was so twisted. That must be it.
"I know you care for him," said Imi. "I always knew."
Was I really that transparent?
"Roll, are you there?"
"Huh?" Roll hopped to her feet, and Meiru squinted.
"What are you doing?" asked Meiru.
"Nothing," said Roll, "just…thinking."
"I'm going to connect you back to the net now. Are you up for it?"
I don't know if I feel like browsing the net right now…
"Netto told me Rockman wants to talk to you."
Flinch. "Rockman does?"
"Yeah, so I'm going to connect you again. Is that okay?"
Roll nodded.
"Are you feeling all right, Roll? Are you still angry with Imi?"
"I…I don't know."
The fiery redhead frowned. "Let me know if you need anything, or if you want to talk after you're done with Rockman."
"Thank you, Meiru-chan."
Meiru simpered, but she said nothing more, and the window closed. As for Roll, she fell back on the floor and gazed at the distant sky. Somewhere above her there was a virtual ceiling, but in the formless swirl of the cyberworld, the distinction between a sky and a ceiling mattered little. The world was the world, and that was that.
And none of it makes sense anymore. Imi-chan is Echo, Rush is gone, and Rockman…
A mass of data swarmed together beside her—sky blue squares and rectangles frothed and seethed but refused to coalesce. "Rockman, is that you?"
An image formed from the soup, and Rockman came to life. "Roll-chan!"
That's right; that's me. I'm your Roll-chan. She smothered him in her arms and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Is something wrong, Roll-chan?"
"I'm just glad we're both here," she said. "Aren't you?"
"…of course."
Oh, how his touch melted her, his grip firm and sure! In his embrace, she never knew uncertainty or fear, just confidence, warmth, and bliss. To feel his heat through his armor, to brush her face against his skin—
Push. He pushed, lightly, gently, on her shoulder. "Can we talk?"
"Sure, but—"
Too late. He backed out of her arms, but they dangled in air, cold and alone.
"I was thinking about what you said yesterday," he said.
Yesterday? What happened yesterday? Before Imi's rampage, Grove and Egami's deaths?
Oh yes, that's right. "You're my friend, Roll-chan, and I don't want you to be sad."
We're just friends. That's all. But still, he was coming to make amends, and she could hardly begrudge him that. "I was being a little silly," said Roll. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," said Rockman. "I just…wanted to make sure…"
"Make sure of what?"
"That you were all right, I guess." He laughed his cute, bashful laugh.
And he kept laughing.
Like he didn't want to stop laughing and go on.
"I'm fine, but you seem awfully nervous, Rockman."
"I do?!" He caught himself on the yelp, but his recovery wasn't so smooth. "Er, I mean…I'm not nervous! I'm not nervous at all!"
"What happened? Did you see a ghost?"
"It's not a ghost!" He shivered at even the thought of specters and bumps in the night. "No, it's…Roll-chan, I need your advice."
"Oh. Well, what about?"
"Do you remember what my father was working on?"
"He wanted to bring Masuyo-san back to life for Nakamura-hakase."
"There were two tanks in Papa's lab. One of them was for Masuyo-chan…"
"And the other?"
"For Saito."
For Saito! Well, that did change things. Rockman had told her about finding Saito BAT in his PET a while ago and that he wasn't entirely sure what it was meant for, but up to now, he hadn't made any headway in solving the mystery.
"So Saito-san is a person?" asked Roll.
"Saito is Hikari Saito, Netto-kun's…twin brother."
"Netto-san had a brother? And nobody knew?"
"Only Papa and Mama did. Well, it was in the newspaper, so I guess a lot of people must have known, but Saito died very young—as a baby—so Netto-kun doesn't remember him."
"So Hikari-hakase wants to bring Saito-san back to life?"
"There are a couple problems. Papa saved Saito's mind and converted it to data, and when it looked like he couldn't revive Saito, he…"
"He what? What did he do?"
"Sit down, Roll-chan."
"But—"
"Please." He took her by the hand, and she was powerless to refuse. "You see, Papa took that data and used it to create a navi."
"He did?"
"Yes."
"Where is that navi now?"
Rockman winced. "He gave the navi to Netto-kun."
"To Netto-san?"
"Yes."
Beat.
"Roll-chan?"
Beat.
"Roll-chan!"
She huffed and turned away from him. "Mou, Rockman, you're silly!"
"I'm…what?"
"I know and you know that you're the only navi Netto-san has ever—" Blink. Rockman is the only navi Netto-san has ever had, so that means…
"Roll-chan—"
"You're Saito?"
He nodded.
"And Hikari-hakase wants to make you human?"
Another nod.
Somewhere out there, on some metaphysical plane where thoughts and ideas become reality, a glass globe with "Roll's world view" written on it teetered on the edge of a table. Imi's betrayal and insanity chipped and cracked this sphere, but now it tipped over the edge, slammed into a tile floor, and shattered into dozens of prickly fragments.
He's going to be human. He's going to be human, and…he's going to leave me! He's going to leave me here, and I'll have to watch him, and I'll never be able to touch him—
"I mean, it's a complicated process," Rockman said, "and there's no guarantee that it'll work. Actually, Papa isn't quite sure what will happen if we run the program, but—"
Roll jumped to her feet. "Then you shouldn't do it! If it's dangerous, you shouldn't do it at all! You should wait; you can wait. You can wait until he figures out a way that is safe, or—"
"Papa's gone to a lot of trouble to prepare a body for me, and he's not sure if more time is going to solve this problem. 'It's completely new territory.' That's what he said."
But it'll work, and you'll leave me. You'll go to school with Netto-san and Meiru-chan, and I'll have to watch from inside my PET. Will you call me Roll-chan then? Or just Roll, like every other human does?
"And even if it fails, I'd like to help Papa speed up his research—"
"But what about the Net Saviors?" said Roll. "Who will fight if something new happens? If Dr. Regal comes back from the dead again, or if there's another Echo—"
"Searchman is in Sharo, Blues and Thunderman are working together in Ameroupe, Medi's helping part-time when it doesn't interfere with their pharmaceutical—"
"But none of them are you! None of them can replace you!" She grabbed his hand and pressed it against his chest, his symbol. "How many other navis can do Soul Unisons or Crosses? How many other navis and operators have ever achieved Full Synchro?"
And how many other navis could I take into my heart?
"I do worry about that," he said, "but…I should do what I want, right? If Netto-kun wanted to leave the Net Saviors, for instance, I would support him and tell him that he should do only what his heart desires. He enjoys it, I know, but still, if I chose to stay a navi just because I felt I had a responsibility to the Net Saviors, Netto-kun wouldn't like that. I have to do what's in my heart, too."
Tranquil and calm. Water is tranquil and calm. It welled up in Roll's eyes, silent and serene. Is that all that's in your heart? Is there nothing—no part of it—that belongs to me?
"I don't know what my heart is telling me to do, but—"
And water flowed in a narrow stream, around her nose and over her lip. "What about my heart?" said Roll. "What am I supposed to do if you're gone?"
"Roll-chan?"
"You're leaving me behind!" she sobbed. "You're leaving me alone!"
"I'd still be around!" said Rockman. "I'm not going anywhere."
"It's not enough!" The floodgates crumbled, and Roll heaved and jerked on the floor. "You can't become human! You just can't."
"Why not? Why are you acting this way?"
"Because!" The shriek, hoarse and shrill, racked her body. "Because if you become human, then we can't be together!"
He froze like an ice cube. Even he couldn't misunderstand that. "Roll-chan!"
Roll's eyes glistened with the wet sheen of her tears. "Don't you love me, Rockman? Don't you want to be with me?"
His muscles petrified; his feet rooted him to the ground. He could speak, yet he couldn't look away. "I…I…"
"Just tell me, Rockman. Tell me, please!"
"I…I…" At last, he summoned the strength. His legs broke free, and he took a step, one step.
One step back.
"No, Rockman, wait!"
He turned and ran. He dematerialized and left her alone.
"Rockman…" She curled into a ball, arms over her knees, as salty water sprinkled on her lap.
—
Roll-chan…loves me?
"It doesn't need explaining! It shouldn't!"
It shouldn't because if I loved her back, I would know. I would've known!
He turned his palms over. His fingers wavered and trembled.
With these hands, I touched her. I held her. So many times, and I never knew!
"Don't you love me, Rockman? Don't you want to be with me?"
And she cried. She cried because of me. If I become human, how long will she cry? Will she ever be the same?
The thought cut a hole in his gut. That Roll wept for him, sobbed for him…
…for his love…
Do I love her? When she's in pain, I'm in pain, and when she's happy, I'm happy. Is that…love?
"How was your chat with Roll?" asked Netto. "Did she have good advice?"
But now she was standing in his way! Love was supposed to free people, liberate them, but her love was a binding chain. A chain that would keep him from his family, from his brother.
I didn't want Roll-chan's advice. I wanted her support, so I could make my own decision. Instead, I have to choose between her and Netto-kun. Either way, there will be someone I can't touch…
"Just tell me, Rockman! Tell me please!"
How could he touch her ever again? How could he accept her tackle-hugs or hold her hand without remembering this night? He was with her nearly every day, and she'd kept this from him!
It would be so easy. He could stay as a navi for her, and neither Netto nor Papa would blame him. Everyone would understand, and Roll would have him from now 'til forever…
Too easy. He'd told Roll exactly what he needed to tell himself now. I have to do what's in my heart.
And if Roll truly loved him, she would wish for his happiness, wouldn't she? She would want him to follow his heart, just as Netto had encouraged him to.
And I know what I want to do now. I'm sorry, Roll-chan, but if I chose to stay with you just to make you happy, it would be a lie. I'd be lying to myself and lying to you, and you don't deserve a lie. You don't.
Decision made, consequences be damned. Rockman delved into his PET and found the file his father gave him—this time, in earnest—Saito BAT. He opened the batch file, and his program shut down as the code rewrote him.
Tomorrow, I'll be ready. Tomorrow, Netto-kun, I can be your brother.
—
"Don't you love me, Rockman? Don't you want to be with me?"
"Aah!" Rockman jerked to consciousness, and sweat dripped from his cheeks onto his boots.
Like Roll-chan's tears. He shook himself. Don't think about that. Let's just not think about that.
He turned his hands over, shook his legs, stretched his arms. He certainly seemed to be in one piece. Yuuichirou had warned him that the program could simply fail or that there could be some data loss, but these were acceptable risks. Rockman didn't expect become human without a little pain. He just had to endure it.
Even if it means hurting Roll-chan.
But his body worked like it always had. In a way, this was distressing. It meant he had nothing to distract him from the events of the night prior. How would he explain this to Roll? How could he tell her that he'd chosen to be human after all…
…and scorned her love?
I just don't want her to cry, not again. As long as she doesn't cry, everything will be all right. Everything will be fine.
He checked the clock. 07:45. Oh no, Netto-kun won't even wake up for a while; what can I do to distract—
The brunet boy kicked his sheets away and yawned. "Ohayou, nii-san."
"Netto-kun! You're awake!" You never wake up this early.
"I can too wake up this early," said Netto, "not that I would like it."
"But why? I didn't even yell through the PET yet."
"I had a strange dream."
"What kind of dream?"
"I dreamed that Roll confessed her love to me!" he said. "Can you believe it?"
"You…what?"
"I was telling her how I wanted to become human—I guess I was you in this dream—and she got all frantic and told me she loved me—er, I mean you, I guess."
Rockman gaped at his brother. Netto-kun dreamed that? He dreamed what happened between me and Roll-chan?
"You mean it actually happened?" asked Netto.
"I didn't say anything!"
"Yes you did! You said that I dreamed what happened between you and Roll."
"I didn't say that."
"Yes, you did!"
"I didn't!"
"All right, fine," said Netto, climbing out of bed. "You can pretend you didn't all day if you want." 'Just don't ask me later for advice on what to do about it.'
"Like you would have advice," said Rockman.
"I didn't say anything!"
"You did! You said I shouldn't ask you for advice!"
The boys glared at each other, but a mutual tingle of dread ran down their spines.
Can you hear me, Netto-kun?
'Can you hear me, nii-san?'
Pairs of real and digital eyes popped from their sockets.
"AHH!"
4
"Ahh!"
Sakurai Meiru tumbled from her bed and bumped her hip on the floor. "Ow! What was that?"
"I think it came from Netto-san's house."
Meiru limped to her feet. On the desk, Roll dangled her legs over the edge and kicked them back and forth.
"How long have you been up?" asked Meiru.
"I didn't sleep."
"Why not?"
"I was cold."
"You can get cold?"
"I can get a lot of things, just like any human could!"
Meiru stared. What…was that?
Roll shook with each breath; she exhaled, and the air stuttered out.
"What happened, Roll?"
She swallowed. "It's nothing."
"Is it Imi?"
A shake of the head.
"Well, that's good then. I hoped Rockman wouldn't talk about—"
A squeal. Roll clasped her hands over her mouth, but the muffled cry sounded all the more desperate.
"It has to do with Rockman?"
Nod nod.
"What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything! He said…nothing."
Meiru poked and prodded her navi for answers, but Roll evaded her questions, and with the danger of distressing her further, Meiru dropped the subject for the moment.
But Netto and Rockman have some explaining to do for this.
Thus, Meiru tapped her foot on her scooter outside Netto's house, but the brunet boy was nowhere to be found.
"Meiru-chan, don't you think we should go?"
At 08:15, it couldn't be helped. If Netto wanted to be absurdly late, that was his prerogative. She would still track him down at school—after all, he sat right behind her.
Maybe I can get Roll to tell me what happened while we wait for Net—
Meiru froze; the doorway to classroom 6-A locked her in place. What lay within the classroom could only be described as a gross perversion of reality. Had someone abducted her, taken her to another parallel universe and switched her with her counterpart there? Was this a world where Sakurai Meiru was the one chronically late…
…and Hikari Netto right on time?
"Netto!" Meiru marched to her desk, but the boy sat back with eyes closed. "Netto, wake up!"
His eyes inched open. "I'm awake."
"I thought you were sleeping."
"I've been awake."
"What are you doing here so early?"
"Oh…is it early?"
"For you it is."
"I woke up early."
"You mean you woke up at a normal time."
He laughed. "I guess so."
Well, other than the earliness, he seems normal enough. Meiru slid her PET to the corner of her desk. "I think something happened, Netto."
"What happened?"
"Between Rockman and Roll."
Flinch. His teeth clenched; he scratched his head. "What—what makes you think that?"
Meiru narrowed her eyes. "You know about it."
"I don't know what you're talking—hey!"
Meiru leapt from her desk and dragged Netto by the collar to the hallway. "Please, Netto. Roll's been in a daze all morning. What's going on?"
He gazed at the wall.
"Netto?"
Who knew lime green paint could be so fascinating?
"Netto!"
"Eh?" He snapped back to attention, but Meiru was far from satisfied.
"If you won't explain, maybe Rockman will. Rockman!"
The blue navi appeared on Netto's shoulder. "What is it?"
"What did you say to Roll last night?"
"I didn't say anything!"
"He didn't say anything!" said Netto.
"Fine. What didn't you say to Roll?"
The boys winced. "We should really get back inside, Meiru-chan," said Netto, edging toward the door. "I think Mariko-sensei is almost—"
"Oh no you don't!" Meiru pinched his ear, and a sharp yelp of pain echoed through the halls.
Two yelps. On Netto's shoulder, Rockman cradled his ear, even though his helmet blocked any attempt to massage it.
"What—what is this?" said Meiru.
She pulled on Netto's ear again, and Rockman gritted his teeth and groaned. She released, and both boys rubbed their ears to dull the pain.
"What's going on here?" she said. "Netto! Explain!"
—
He explained.
And Meiru hobbled to her seat alone.
"What happened, Meiru-chan?" said Roll, forgetting her melancholy. "You look ill!"
"Netto and Rockman are…are…"
"They're brothers."
"I know that, but that's not the strangest part."
"It isn't?"
Meiru shook her head. She crouched in her seat, so only Roll could hear. "They're connected."
"What?"
"Their minds are linked together," said Meiru. "Rockman ran Saito BAT, so he could become human—"
"He—he ran it?"
"Roll—"
"He chose to become human after all," she said. "He—he—"
"Roll, listen—"
She gasped, and an icy chill racked her frame. "He rejected me."
—
Meiru spent the rest of the morning surrounded by zombies. Roll helped take her notes and look up some of the more esoteric concepts covered in Oozono Mariko's lecture on geology and the types of rocks, but beyond these little errands, Roll was mute.
Netto wasn't much better. He cut short his usual banter with Dekao about their next rematch, and rather than nod off through class, he locked his eyes on the board and never looked away.
Is Rockman telling him to stay awake…in his mind?
Lunch wasn't as animated as Meiru was accustomed to, either. Most days, Netto devoured his meal and scrubbed his table for crumbs. Today's meal was much more muted, as Netto munched on his sandwich in quiet contemplation, but there was some serene peace about him: he savored every bite and chewed on the bread and meat with delicate passion.
"It's Rockman's first time," he said. "Eating and tasting real food, that is. Don't tell Yaito-chan, but her simulated food chips are nothing like the real thing."
"He can taste what you taste?" asked Meiru.
The boy nodded, and he sipped his milk.
And spat it out.
"Rockman doesn't like milk?" said Meiru.
"I guess not," said Netto.
As Netto partook of all available foods (from wobbly gelatin to snappy carrots) and treated Rockman to the full continuum of flavor, Meiru marveled at their new experience. They're together in a way Roll and I never could be. Well, unless they happened to be sisters in secret. They're together in a way Netto and I never could be, either.
"We've lost them, Meiru-chan," said Roll. "We lost them to each other."
We've…lost them?
"Rockman will become Saito, and they won't need or want for anything. They won't need us."
Meiru pushed her lunch tray away and shivered. Roll told Rockman how she felt, and he didn't feel the same. He chose to be human. Is that what Netto thinks of me? What can I do for him that Rockman can't?
Zip, zap. The fresh aroma of electrical arcs pervaded the cafeteria, and the overhead lights flickered and wavered.
"What's going on, Meiru-chan?" asked Roll.
"I don't know. Maybe a power outage or—"
"Battle Chip: Volcano Cannon, slot-in!" Netto sat before a holographic screen, on which Rockman blasted a gaggle of viruses.
How did he plug-in so fast?
"Battle Chip: Custom Sword, slot-in!" The orange edge of the Custom Sword sliced through an army of Mettools. Rockman slashed at dragon wings, pounced on walking trees and severed their branches.
"Come on, Roll," Meiru said. "We can help Netto."
"You think they need help?"
"Battle Chip: Soul Unison – Blues Soul, slot-in!" Behind a green eye shield, Rockman devastated his enemies in the wake of a Sonic Boom, but a new battalion of Mettools spawned and slammed their picks into the ground. Rockman tumbled backward and skidded on the floor.
"Agh!" Netto doubled over; his face scrunched and tightened, and his teeth gnashed together. The PET dropped from his hands and clunked on the table.
"Netto!" Meiru lunged to his side and propped him up over her shoulder. "Netto, what happened? Netto!"
"Netto-kun, are you all right?" asked Rockman. "Netto-kun—argh!"
"Argh!" The boy thrashed in her arms. He panted and groaned, but Meiru's grip never slipped.
"Netto-kun!" said Rockman. "Netto-kun, focus!" On the net, Rockman diced his enemies with businesslike precision, but his reactions slowed, and the viruses piled up around him, enclosed him in a circle five ranks deep. Sonic Booms eliminated a dozen at a time, but the ring shrunk…
"Rockman…" Netto fished his pockets for a chip, but the Long Sword chip shook between his fingers and hit the tile floor.
They feel each other's pain. Rockman can't concentrate while Netto's in pain, and Netto…Netto needs my help! She turned her PET over in her hands. Just where could she plug-in…?
The legions piled on top of Rockman, buried him in their shovels and picks. "Netto-kun! Netto-kun, you can hear me! Netto-kun! Netto-kun!"
Netto trembled, but he jerked his body to compliance. "Battle Chip—"
"Heart Slash!" The hearts obliterated the Mettools, freeing Rockman from their assault. The lights returned, and Netto collapsed to his seat, exhausted.
"Are you all right, Netto?" asked Meiru.
"I don't know," he said, wiping the sweat from his brow. "We can't do this, not like this."
In the cyberworld, Rockman and Roll faced off at a distance.
"Thank you, Roll-chan," Rockman stammered.
Her eyes studied him head to toe, but she said nothing.
"About last night—"
"You made a choice!" she blurted out. "You…you made a choice, and I understand it."
"You do?"
She nodded. Just how many nods were enough she couldn't seem to decide. "I do, and I hope—"
"Roll-chan—"
"I hope you're happy together!"
"Roll-chan, wait!"
She dematerialized—retreated to Meiru's PET, and Meiru and Netto's fellow classmates picked at their meals and chattered away, like nothing had even happened.
5
After school, Rockman and Netto disappeared before Meiru even had a chance to catch them. It was only on the way home, when Meijin called, that she learned the boys were at the Ministry of Science, with their father.
"Do you know?" asked Meiru. "Did anyone tell you?"
"Hikari-hakase filled me in on his project," said Meijin. "As it is, he should be fired for using Ministry resources for such a thing, but he's also the most brilliant mind we have here. As it is, I'm sure there will be some punishment, but it won't be too bad."
"What about Netto?"
"It will take some time," Meijin said. "We can't even begin to figure out how this happened or how to fix it."
And unfortunately for Meiru, there was no going home yet, nor could she go to Netto and keep him company through this bizarre ordeal. Instead, at Meijin's request, she rolled across town on her scooter and parked outside an oaken two-story home.
So this is where they lived.
Wooden planks bent under her weight. She ascended the stairs and shined her PET's laser at a panel beside the door. The deadbolt gave way, and a creaking hinge greeted Meiru upon her entrance to the Nakamura home.
It was dark—uncommonly dark. Thick curtains blocked the windows. Meiru flipped a switch, and a ceiling fan and light sparked to life, illuminating three chairs around a circular table.
The dinner table.
She traced her finger over the stained wood and picked up a trail of dust. She rubbed it between her fingers, and it fell away.
"Where do you think the computer is?" asked Roll.
Not here. Not among the drip-drip-drip of a leady faucet or the lonely hum of a refrigerator. Nor among a purple velvet sofa and armchairs that sat around the television set.
"Upstairs," said Meiru. "Let's go."
And so Meiru ascended into the darkness, where still air brushed her face and old floor boards creaked and squeaked.
"If Rockman were here, he'd be afraid," Roll said. "He'd think there might be a ghost."
Meiru smiled. Rockman's phobia for ghosts and the occult was hardly his strong suit, but it was also endearing. He could stand up to great cyber-monsters ten times his size and also cower before simple viruses covered in white sheets if they acted spooky enough.
Especially if they said something along the lines of "oooOOOoooOOOooo."
"I wonder if that's why he's afraid of ghosts," said Roll.
"What is?"
"Because he was born human."
"That would make sense, wouldn't it."
"It would."
At the top of the stairs, Meiru peered down both ends of a hallway. This time, she jiggled the light switch up and down with no results, so she ventured forth into the unknown. After all, neither direction would make much difference, would it?
"I hope it was brighter when they lived here," said Roll.
"I think it was. If no one's been here for months, things can break down while they're gone. Meijin-san said Nakamura-hakase was living in an apartment and not here, even though he still owns the house."
"Why do you think he did that, Meiru-chan?"
The redhead poked a door open, leading to a bedroom. "He didn't want to be here."
And it was little wonder why. Meiru switched on a lamp, and a den of wild beasts cornered her. Their fur sparkled and glittered; their eyes shone and gleamed.
"Stuffed animals!" said Meiru. "So many!"
The toys stacked atop each other in a pyramid on a four-post bed. On the walls, pencil sketches depicted the life of the inhabitant: some were of buildings (most had ambulances passing in the foreground), others of people (men with clipboards and pens and stethoscopes, nurses with needles and gauze and dinner trays). The wall told a story in ambiguous order. Meiru followed the tale back in time, where the drawings showed not doctors and orderlies but people—people from her life. Children hung on monkey bars and pulled themselves from end to end. Teachers scribbled on whiteboards and called for cease-fires in spitball wars.
But elsewhere on the walls, there was one spot where four special sketches resided. One for a woman, with short, dark hair and a wide smile. She dangled a paintbrush over canvass, and drops of paint hit the floor.
Another was a man. He toiled over a keyboard; his labcoat was open, and his glasses were folded on the desk.
A third was the artist herself. She drew herself in the mirror. Her hair flowed into her lap, and she studied her sketchpad. Though the image on the pad was incomplete, she smiled, pleased with her work, yet she had only completed the steel frame of her wheelchair and the spokes of the wheels themselves.
The fourth was, perhaps, the most haunting. It looked innocent enough, with a PET in the background and a navi projected into life. The navi's image was caught in mid-air; her skirt flared as she fell, but her face was bright with delight, and she waved her arms over her head, as if to get someone's attention.
"She was calling to her," Roll said.
"To who?"
"She was calling to Masuyo-san."
But there was still a fourth wall, where the lines were jagged and rough, the proportions strained and distorted. The images were unintelligible, and soon enough, the chaos gave way to a single blank page.
"Meiru-chan, look."
Just inside the door there was a mahogany desk. A wheelchair parked in front of it, and a notepad flipped open to an empty page.
"He left the desk the way she left it," said Meiru.
But there was one more thing. Solid white, with green borders, it bore a symbol on the button: a blue square on a red disk, with a white diagonal stripe.
"It's right where she said it was," Roll said. "Right where her father abandoned her."
Meiru tinkered with the PET, but the screen was blank and unlit. "I think the battery's dead. We should take this, though. Meijin-san might find something useful about Imi on it."
"You know, this is what Imi-chan's mistake was."
"What?"
"She hung on to her father; she rested all her hopes on him, but he already made the choice to leave her. She just couldn't accept it."
"Roll, please don't be like that."
"I won't make that mistake. I won't end up like Imi-chan."
—
With a PET on one side of him and his younger son on the other, Yuuichirou showed Netto a playing card.
"It's the Jack of Clubs, Papa," said Rockman.
He swiveled and drew another card from the deck, this time for Rockman.
"Seven of Hearts," said Netto.
Yuuichirou tossed the cards away and rubbed his head. "This is a disaster!" he said. "Nothing short of a disaster!"
"It's not your fault, Papa," said Rockman. "I shouldn't have run the program so soon."
Well, there was that, but Yuuichirou could hardly blame him for wanting to become human. "I should've known better than to give you the program before it was fully understood."
Despite a steady exchange of self-blame musical chairs, Yuuichirou scanned and poked his sons, looking for some clue that might show him how to reverse this "link," as Netto and Rockman came to call it, but the sheer magnitude of the link proved to be its most disturbing feature. His boys shared thoughts, feelings, and sensations in their full glory, as if they'd experienced them personally. He flipped a card at Rockman, and Netto spotted the grease stain over the center heart and the bend in the top-right corner.
"Perhaps another batch program would be able to reverse the effects," Meijin suggested. "If we could revert Rockman's code to its original configuration…"
So Yuuichirou toiled over a new program for hours. Saito BAT had been the product of weeks of effort; to undo it in a single day—it trivialized his work. It's like everything we've worked for up to now was for nothing.
It was a sentiment compounded when he applied and it halted mid-execution.
"I don't understand it, hakase," said Meijin. "Why would the reversion program fail?"
"Rockman and Netto are one system now," said Yuuichirou. "The program I wrote assumed Rockman could be affected in isolation, but they can't. They share everything." And how in this world can I fix that?
After burning most of the afternoon on the rewrite, Yuuichirou had to do without Meijin's assistance. Meiru and Roll arrived with some data from Nakamura's home about Imi, as well as her PET, and Meijin had to leave to analyze this data and subdue the other scientists. A pity, for the younger man thoroughly enjoyed the puzzle of Netto and Rockman's link, despite its perverse effects. No doubt he would've approached the problem of reviving Saito with similar gusto.
I should have brought him in sooner. He could've been very helpful; I just didn't want anyone to know, to find me and find out about this…
But Nakamura found him. Yuuichirou wondered how he found him, but then, a man desperate enough would find him regardless of what measures he took. Nakamura wanted his daughter to live, just like Yuuichirou did for his son.
He ran away, though. Who knows where he's gone. He's probably out of the country, fleeing from his legacy, fleeing from her.
He abandoned his own navi—his daughter's navi—and why? Did she remind him of Masuyo? Did she imitate his flesh-and-blood daughter to better become a virtual one?
He's lucky. He gets to run away from his problems; I don't.
"It's all right, Papa," his boys said. "We're sure you'll figure something out."
And now my sons can literally complete each other's sentences. I can pinch one of them, and the other will cry out in pain. They're fused together like two-headed, Siamese—
"Hikari-hakase!" An assistant bolted through the door to Yuuichirou's new lab, panting. "Hikari-hakase, quickly! Echo's broken from her restraints!"
"What? Where is she now?"
"She's still inside the Deconstruction Device, but she's got a navi hostage!"
"Who is it?" asked Netto.
"It's…the one with the antennae that go around her head like this…"
"Roll-chan!" Rockman said. "Hurry, Netto-kun! We have to save Roll-chan!"
Netto tucked his PET into its shoulder strap and dashed through the door.
"Wait, Netto!" Yuuichirou said. "We're not finished!"
But the boy sprinted up the steps, out of sight, and Yuuichirou sank in his chair. Can they even battle in this condition? If they feel each other's pain…
—
"Why do you want to talk to her, Roll?" asked Meiru.
"Because," said Roll. "If she can learn to let go, then…then maybe I can, too."
That would have to do. Meiru cut off her PET from the net once more, leery of giving Imi a means of escape, and plugged Roll into the system. In the narrow cage of the Deconstruction Device, a dozen bars of purple flame erupted around Imi, and Roll materialized in the prison.
"Roll-san!" Imi ran to the bars but steered clear of their incendiary touch. "Roll-san, please! I need to see my papa! Where did Papa go?"
"Your papa is gone, Imi-chan."
"He's…gone?"
"He left the city," said Roll. "He's gone."
"Papa…where did you go, Papa?" Imi asked the floor.
"I think you should let him go, Imi-chan."
"Let him go?"
"I wanted to help you; Rockman and I wanted to help you. If you'd let him go, we could have, I'm sure of it."
"You and Rockman-san can't replace Papa!" Imi said. "Papa is Papa. There's no one else who understands what I am."
"But he made his choice," Roll said, "and he should've chosen you, I know. If he had, none of this would've happened, but…he didn't, Imi-chan. You have to accept that."
"Why should I?" asked Imi. "Why do you deny me hope, Roll-san? Would you give up on Rockman-san so easily?"
"I have, Imi-chan."
"You what?"
"Rockman didn't choose me, either."
"I don't understand."
"Rockman had two choices: to stay as a navi and be with me or to become human and go with Netto-san…as his brother."
"And Rockman-san didn't choose you?"
Roll pressed her lips together and shook her head.
"But that's crazy!" said Imi. "Rockman-san cares about you; I know he does! When he fought me after I hurt you, he was so angry. He used your power—the Roll Soul—against me. He fought for you, Roll-san. Not for Rouletteman or Grove. He fought for you."
"He fights for everyone, Imi-chan, not just me."
"That's not true. Go back to him; talk to him. I think—"
"No, Imi-chan, it's over," said Roll. "I won't hang on to him like you hung on to your father."
"What are you saying?"
"He doesn't love me. I asked him point-blank, and he ran from me, just like your father ran from you."
"Rockman-san and Papa aren't the same!"
Roll stomped her foot on the floor. "You said so yourself: they are the same! Neither of us will be happy if we hang on to them! We have to…" She peeled away. It was easy enough to tell Imi to do it, but to say it herself—it would be final. There would be no retraction, no twisting of meaning. If she said those words, she would have to stick to them.
"Roll-san…"
"We have to let go," Roll said. "I loved Rockman, but I can't chase him anymore. He's made his choice, and I…"
She gulped. Maybe if she closed her eyes and just blurted it out, it would be easier. The vowels would fly on the air, and the consonants would hop off her lips.
"I will move on."
"No, Roll-san!" said Imi. "You shouldn't!"
"I should!" said Roll. "I should, and I have, and you should too!"
"No! I can't give up on Papa; I won't!"
"I know his leaving hurt you," said Roll. "When Rockman ran away from me, it hurt too, but we can't dwell on pain, Imi-chan. We have to let it go."
"You don't know my pain," said Imi. "You don't know what it's like to have the only person who can make you better forsake you. You don't know what it means to think and feel for yourself when tens and hundreds of voices shout at you—when they all call for blood!"
Roll clenched her hands beside her and towered over Imi. "You think I don't know it?" she said. "I cried. I cried for Rockman. So many times I've cried for him, seen him with other navis like Medi or that Aki-chan or Grove. I loved him, but it wasn't a warm feeling. It made me afraid. It made me jealous. It made me want to rip those girls apart for being close to him! Isn't that how you felt, Imi-chan? Those navis—those voices—they weren't just antagonizing you. They kept you from your father, and that's why you had to destroy them."
Imi yanked on her own hair and growled. "You don't understand! You can't understand! This isn't about anyone else; this is about my papa! This is my papa, and I will NOT GIVE UP ON PAPA!"
Imi panted, and her tears fizzled in the purple flames of her confinement. Roll knelt beside the bars and leaned down to look at Imi's face. "Then help me understand," said Roll. "I tried to help you before; let me try again now."
"There's only one way you could possibly understand, Roll-san."
"How?"
"This!" She lunged through the bars, and her fingers caught Roll's wrist.
"What are you doing?" said Roll. "Let me go!"
'They were right all along, Roll-san. You're no better than the others. Your anger, your fear—they had that, too.'
"Imi-chan?" Roll struggled against her grip, but the little squirt locked her in place and wouldn't budge. "What do you mean, Imi-chan?"
"You wanted to understand," said Imi. "Now you can."
'Echo, Echo, Echo…'
"What is this?" said Roll. "What is that?"
"They are my choir. They talk to me when all else is silent."
'ECHO, ECHO, ECHO!'
"Stop it!" Roll jammed her free hand over her ears, but the choir's chant pervaded her thoughts. "Stop it!"
"I thought you wanted to understand," said Imi. "We haven't even begun yet."
'You're weak!' 'You're a monster!' 'Let me go!'
"No!" Roll said. "Make it stop, please!"
"I thought that many times," said Imi. "So many times."
'DO YOU THINK WE WILL GO QUIETLY? DO YOU THINK WE WILL BE SILENT WHEN YOU KILL US?'
"Will you be silent, Roll-san?" asked Imi. "Will you be silent when I kill you?"
—
"Meiru-chan!"
"Netto!" The fiery redhead clung to him. "It's terrible, Netto! I can't plug-out; I slotted-in some chips, but they were useless against her! She's torturing Roll! Please, do something!"
"Let's go, Netto-kun!" said Rockman. "Hurry!"
"Right! Plug-in, ! Transmission!"
And Rockman materialized to a weak scream. With the bars of fire extinguished, Imi towered over a prone, helpless Roll, who shook and hollered as waves of agony carried through their Imi's hand into Roll's arm.
"Please, Imi-chan, stop! Sto—ahh!"
"Imi-chan, enough!" said Rockman. "Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting Roll-chan?"
"She wanted to understand pain," said Imi. "The kind you gave her wasn't good enough."
Rockman gritted his teeth. "Rockbuster!" The buster bolts splashed on a Dream Aura, and Imi continued her torture unhindered.
"Battle Chip: Neo Variable Sword, slot-in!"
Rockman leapt high and came down with sword swinging, but Imi's free hand morphed into a Paladin Sword, and she parried the attack. "You shouldn't be fighting me," Imi said. "You hurt Roll-san more than I ever could."
"Shut up!" He swiped low, but Imi dragged Roll's body into the blade's path. Rockman dug the Neo Variable into the floor, and it wobbled and stuck just a hair's breadth from Roll's knees.
"I'm sorry, Rockman-san," said Imi, "but there's not much more I can show her." Her sword dissipated, and a Mach Burst tossed Rockman across the room. He thudded on the far wall.
"Agh!" Netto fumbled his PET, and Meiru caught him; he sagged in her arms.
"Netto! Hold on, Netto!"
Roll wept at Imi's feet. "Please, Imi-chan…please let me go."
"You know it doesn't work like that," Imi said.
Netto shook off his daze. "We have to stop Echo," he said, climbing to his feet. "We have to…for Roll." He pulled three chips from his collection and fanned them out between his fingers. "Battle Chip: Spread Gun, triple—"
"Super Vulcan." The yellow rounds peppered Rockman, and in the real world, each impact jolted Netto as well. The chips flew from his hands and scattered on the floor.
"Goodbye, Roll-san." The Super Vulcan disappeared and gave way to a simple blue cannon.
The Rockbuster.
"No, Imi-chan—Imi-chan—"
Pink and purple light streamed into the mouth of the barrel. "Charge Shot."
"ROLL-CHAN!"
PEW! Roll disappeared in debris and smoke. Rockman tore through the clouds. Imi opened her hand, and Roll's arm thumped on the floor. "Roll-chan, hold on! Roll-chan!"
But her feet were already gone. They fragmented, and their particles wisped through the air.
"You're still connected to the net, Rockman-san."
He shook her; he picked her up and carried her in his arms, but that loosed even more of her data. The line ran up her legs. Her shins and knees disintegrated. Her thighs, her hips…
"Roll-san was wrong to tell me to forget Papa. Now I can find him, and he'll take me back." Imi opened a Rush Hole and dropped into it, but Rockman paid her no heed.
"Roll-chan, say something! Roll-chan!"
Her chest, her arms—all turned to dust. He opened her eyelids. "Look at me, Roll-chan! Can you hear me?"
He let go, and her eye snapped shut.
"Roll-chan, I…I…"
Her head, her antennae burned away, and Rockman's arms cradled empty space.
6
Beep-beep-beep-beep! Beep-beep-beep-beep! Beep-beep-beep-click!
Sakurai Meiru sat on the edge of her bed and studied the pink and white case. The screen was empty, but Meiru smeared her thumb over the screen.
"Don't do that, Meiru-chan!" Roll would say. "It's frightening to see your fingers that close!"
But now, the speakers were silent, just like Echo always wanted.
Meiru resisted the silence. Her fingers wandered the notes of the octave, and she collected them, organized them into a melody—her melody.
If you feel pain or sorrow, sing this song and you'll forget. I sing it now, my darling; this is my own death lament.
Puh-link! Her pinky slipped off the chord, and a dissonant tone reverberated through the house. The melody was broken, and Meiru banged out the cacophonic combination of notes, for music was not enough to defeat the silence: only noise—chaotic, unorganized noise, could hope to drive it away.
But even noise dies. All sound dies and gives way to silence. All sound dies…
Ding-dong!
Even the ring of the doorbell dies. It fades to nothing, and if you wait long enough, you can forget that anyone's at the door, that there's a world outside, where people shovel rice into their mouths, doodle in notebooks, and whisper in each other's ears. We eat, we think, we love, but eventually, we all sleep, we all—
"Netto?"
The boy hovered in the doorway. "Good morning, Meiru-chan."
"Good morning. Shouldn't you be off to school soon?"
"I wanted to see how you were doing."
"Oh, I'm fine!" said Meiru. "Totally fine. I should even come to school today. Even though Mariko-sensei wanted to give me the day off, it's not that—"
"Meiru-chan."
"What? You don't think I'm all right?"
"You're rubbing Roll's screen."
Her thumb twitched. She lifted it, and her fingerprint remained, almost like it was hers, but it wasn't. Even though Roll's colors decorated the PET, though Meiru bore that emblem above her ear, this PET was not hers. Without Roll, it was merely a box of wires and batteries. There was no life to it, no heart…
Drip. A water droplet splashed on the screen, and Meiru swirled it around the corners with her finger. Drip, drip. They bombarded the metal case and gummed up the cracks. Their reach was limitless, their source unending. Meiru's vision blurred; she closed her eyes, and the streams down her face pulsed with a new wave of tears.
"I'm sorry."
"No, Netto, don't…" She dried her face with her sleeve and shook off his apology. "Don't be sorry; it's not your fault."
"Rockman blames himself," said the boy. "He dreamed about it. He's dreaming about it right now. If he'd done something different—if we'd done something different—"
"Imi killed Roll," said Meiru. "Not you, not Rockman."
"I could ask Papa to make you a new navi!" said Netto. "She wouldn't be like Roll, but—"
"Another navi?" Meiru shuddered at the thought. "No one can replace Roll! She was my closest friend! She did everything for me and never complained—well, not too much. She had such wild fantasies; she told me about them, you know, and I thought they were a little strange, but they were cute, and they were innocent! Like when Trill was still a baby, she dreamed about tending a garden with Rockman and Trill like a family. Did you know that, Netto? She wanted love—his love! She wanted it so much…" She collapsed against the doorframe, and her sobs erupted. "Oh Roll! I hope you can be happy now! I hope…I hope…"
"Meiru-chan…"
"Will you hold me, Netto? Will you make me forget that she's gone, just for a second?"
He didn't have to say yes. She leapt into his arms and smothered him, but rather than tense up or retreat, he patted her back to comfort her, soothe her. "I wish…I wish there were more I could do for you, Meiru-chan."
She closed her eyes and rested her head against his. "We've been friends for too long, Netto."
"What?"
"There were two things that were important to me," said Meiru. "One of them is gone now, but the other is still here. The other is still here, and I don't want to let go of him; I can't let go, not now."
"I don't understand."
"You don't need to respect me, Netto, not anymore."
"But Meiru-ch—" She squeezed him tighter and cut off his air.
"Please, Netto," she said. "Can you do that for me?"
"I will," he said. "I will, Meiru."
"Thank you." She hugged him once more and returned to the door. "Will you come by after school? I want to have a service, I think, for Roll. We could plan it together."
"…sure."
"Okay. See you this afternoon?"
"Yeah."
She shut the door and brushed off Roll's screen. "It's all right with you, isn't it? I know what Rockman did, but Netto and Rockman aren't the same, and…"
She trailed off; the silence interrupted her. She peeked outside, where Netto skated down the street for school.
"Maybe Netto can do what Rockman couldn't. I don't know, but…I hope."
—
The boy in the blue bandana sailed over concrete seams and darted around mailboxes.
Poor Meiru-ch—
He shook his head.
Poor Meiru. I hope she'll be all right.
'She's just Meiru now?'
Netto's heart plummeted to the ground. He swerved and stumbled on his skates. He caught a lamppost to steady himself, but the world warped around him. The trees and flowers withered and died, and the sun seared him and pumped rage into his veins, but most of all, there was one image that rewound through his mind.
"Charge Shot."
And she crumbled; she crumbled in his arms and swirled away.
'We can't give up on her, Netto-kun.'
What do you mean, nii-san? What…what is—
'Echo! We have to stop Echo!'
Echo's gone, remember?
A holographic screen popped up in front of him. Between skyscrapers, a foreign police force peppered the white navi in bullets, but a wave from her fingertips upended their patrol cars, and she walked off screen.
'She's in Ameroupe. She's looking for her father, and she will destroy everything until she does.'
Enzan's in Ameroupe, right? With Raoul? Let them—
'THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! They don't know Echo like we do! She's going to hurt more people, more navis, before she can be stopped again!'
I don't know, nii-san. I'm worried about Meiru. If we go fighting Echo again—
'This isn't about you and Meiru-chan!'
But she's my friend!
'Are you sure that's all she wants to be? She wants you to call her Meiru now, and you are.'
What are you saying?
'Maybe she has a secret just like Roll-chan did.'
That's impossible. This is Meiru we're talking about.
'She's always touching you, isn't she? Hugging you? She hugged you just now; I see it in your mind.'
She hugged him, and it was warm and soft. Even when she squeezed him, she needed it. She needed his comfort, and how could he say no to that? How could he refuse to comfort his neighbor, his friend…
…his lover?
'She's in danger, Netto-kun.'
Danger? How could she be in danger?
'She's in danger as long as Echo's alive. We're all in danger. Echo will kill anyone.'
Then I should stay here! I should stay here and protect her!
'We have to delete her, Netto-kun! We have to hunt her down and stop her! We have to stop her for Roll-chan's sake!'
But nii-san—
'If you want to protect Meiru-chan, you'll do this, Netto-kun.'
"Charge Shot."
And she crumbled; she crumbled in his arms, but this time, it wasn't Roll's pink armor and yellow antennae. It was a girl: a girl in ruby shoes and black stockings, a pink skirt and a blue vest…
…and fiery red hair.
He called to her; he screamed her name. "Meiru, say something! Meiru!"
'We need to go, Netto-kun. We need to protect the ones we love. Protect them…and avenge them.'
Netto clung to the lamppost and panted. His eyes darted; she wasn't there. It wasn't real, but it could've been. It could've been. "Hai, nii-san," he said. "Let's go."
—
Meiru spent her day off from school planning Roll's funeral. It was quite unusual, she found out, to have a service for a net navi, but it could be practically unheard of for all she cared. She was having a funeral. She would remember her friend and celebrate her life, and that was that.
She wanted to hold the service in the park in Internet City, where Roll and her friends enjoyed many memories, but it was only recently rebuilt; Meiru and the Net Saviors destroyed it, after all, to stop Echo.
The specter of Echo loomed over the day as municipalities worldwide went on alert for her presence, but thus far she'd only shown her face in Ameroupe.
Her father must be there. She's chasing him.
Despite that sorry news, Meiru followed her list of things to do for Roll. All her friends would be invited, of course—Glyde, Gutsman, Iceman, Aquaman, Numberman.
Rockman.
I hope he doesn't blame himself. Roll wouldn't want him to, even…even though he hurt her.
She wanted to talk more with Netto after school: they had plans to make, after all, and she wanted to see how Rockman was holding up, but the Hikari boys never showed. Must've gone straight home. And if Netto didn't want to drop by, then she wouldn't sully herself by crawling to his house and begging him to see her.
I should've known he'd never change.
But afternoon turned to evening, and Meiru gazed out her window at Netto's, but his room was devoid of activity. Just where had he gone?
And evening turned to night. Meiru had to talk to someone. She called Yaito. "Oh, that Netto!" she griped. "He promised to come by to help me come up with ideas for Roll's funeral, but he never showed up!"
"Netto didn't show up at school, either," said Yaito. "Mariko-sensei thought maybe he was with you."
"What do you mean he didn't go to school? He came by my house before school started; it's not like he slept through it."
"Nobody's seen him all day, Meiru-chan. Nobody except you."
Meiru gaped at the screen. "What's going on here…?"
Ding-dong!
"Sorry, Yaito-chan, let me get that." That better not be him. If it's him, I'm going to thrash him; I swear, that Netto! Skipping school and skipping on me? He's got a lot of nerve to—
"Good evening, Meiru-chan."
What stood before her was a Hikari all right, but not the one she expected. Hikari Haruka crossed her arms behind her back and shivered in the night's air.
"Oh, good evening, oba-san! How are you?"
"I'm well, thank you, but I was looking for Netto. Have you seen him?"
She's looking for Netto? His own mother doesn't know where he is? "I haven't seen him since this morning."
"I got a call from sensei saying that he was absent from school, but he hasn't been home all day. I thought he might be over here."
Right now I wish he were.
It wasn't long before the police arrived at Netto's home. Yuuichirou returned from the Ministry of Science—he had no clue of Netto's whereabouts either. "He's not on a mission for the Net Saviors," said the father, "I'm sure of that."
Through her window, blue and red lights flashed across Meiru's face. Where did you go, Netto? Why did you leave me now?
She looked at the television, which was still stuck on the news. Footage of Echo's destruction in Ameroupe topped the headlines even this late hour.
And Meiru gasped. He's gone to Ameroupe. He's gone after Echo. He went after Echo, and he didn't tell anyone—not his parents, not me.
A pillar of spikes split a busy street and impaled passing cars.
Foolishly chasing Echo like this; he's crazy!
Twin red eyes lit up the screen.
He's going to get himself hurt, or…
Meiru took out her PET and wiped the screen again. "What should I do, Roll? I can't bear to lose Netto, not after losing you."
The PET was silent.
"I see," said Meiru. "That's what I'll do then." She raced upstairs and pulled a suitcase from the closet. She emptied her wardrobe and stuffed all she could into the bag.
I'm coming for you, Netto. Please, wait for me.
—
But he didn't wait.
On the streets of Ameroupe, a boy with a blue bandana walked alone. The wind caressed his face; the sun warmed his skin. He reveled in the sensations of the world around him, for his was new to its pleasures, but those joys barely softened his grief and rage. He was a boy with a purpose, with a mission of his own. He was not Hikari Netto, though many would mistake him so.
He was Hikari Saito.
End of Part One