"Tell me you have good news, Gracie."
Grace put down the phone and nodded, folding the sheet of paper where she had written the address and putting it in her pocket. "Yes. I spoke with the… practitioner. I'll see her tomorrow at lunchtime so that she can explain me how exactly the ritual is to be done. Are you sure you don't want to come?"
Gabriel shook his head. "I'm sure. Even if I weren't stuck in Rittersberg for this… reunion, or whatever they call it, I still wouldn't be needed. You're the one who rocks at research," he added with a wink.
She rolled her eyes before frowning. "But what is it they exactly want?" she asked. Why the people of Rittersberg had insisted for that… council in Gabriel's presence was beyond her.
Gabriel shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe some more reassurances that Friedrich is going to be a good puppy, or that I'm not going to start hunting down people myself while I'm still a werewolf. I just hope the Hubers will have left by then, as they said they would. I sure don't want to face them again."
Friedrich. Grace frowned a little. Until the previous day – well, until that same morning, actually – the fact Gabriel referred to him on a first name basis both angered and worried her, but now there was only the worry and very little of the anger in her. Why was that?
"Grace, are you okay?"
She recoiled. "I… yes. I'm fine. I was just thinking. Are you still sure sending Mosely to take Ludwig's heart is a good idea? He never was there, but I was. And if I could take the diagram from that urn once, I can also take-"
"Nah, I'm sure Mose will do fine," Gabriel cut her off. "I mean, really, cut him some slack. He's not that much of a lousy cop. Back in the hunfour he actually was almost cool, saving your life and all. You could have almost said he knew what he was doing. Besides," Gabriel grinned a little again, "I already asked someone down in Rittersberg to get his, uh, token done. Don't think you'd wanna use that."
Oh, Grace thought, right – the silver body part that was supposed to represent… whatever Mosely was supposed to be there to pray for healing. She frowned a little. "Do I even want to know…?"
"Probably not," Gabriel cut her off, chuckling a little to himself at the thought of the token he had asked to be made by the next day for Mosely – his request had definitely made a few brows rise, but in the end they seemed more amused than anything. Well, for the most part. Werner Huber probably thought he was a complete idiot and a blasphemous one to boot, but Mosely's face once he saw the token he was supposed to use would be so worth it.
His amusement, however, wavered as he walked back in the hallway and thought back of von Glower's expression when he had excused himself and retired to his room. He had been clearly glad and relieved to know that there was a way to give Ludwig and von Zell's souls peace – though that meant that to help out von Zell they were going to have to get his to his body and cut out his heart or whatever the bullet had left of it, and it wasn't a pleasant thought in Gabriel's opinion – but he still looked proved and tired and thoughtful. His meeting with the Hubers had clearly been hard to get out of his head.
Maybe he should check how he was doing, Gabriel thought, and he walked up to von Glower's door to knock without giving the matter any further thought.
"Do come in."
"Hey, Friedrich," Gabriel called, walking in. Von Glower was sitting on the edge of the bed, and it looked like he hadn't been doing much but staring straight ahead for a while. Odd. "Are you okay?"
Von Glower smiled a little tiredly. "Yes, I am fine," he reassured him. "I was simply a little… shaken, I supposed. I never met any relative of… any werewolf victim," he added, turning his gaze to the ground once more.
Gabriel shrugged. "Well… yeah, I guess it's not much of a party," he admitted. "But it's not your fault, okay? You had no idea von Zell would have gone that far."
"I should have imagined it," von Glower murmured. "Others of those I chose fell into madness. I should have known that nothing I could teach him would prepare his mind for the Blood. It was too much. It's too much for any ordinary human being."
Well, that much was true, and while there was a logical part of him that kept repeating von Glower just could not know to what lengths von Zell's madness would bring him there was another part of him that just couldn't stop thinking of what could have been avoided if only von Glower avoided the risk completely. There would be no lair in the woods now, he thought, no pit filled with corpses at various stages of decaying, some of them so old that-
Gabriel's mind suddenly froze, unable to finish that thought as though he could see even now von Zell's lair, the countless bodies inside the pit. So many bodies, so much more than just the recent ones; so many bodies, too many for any werewolf to kill in only few months' span without anyone noticing the disappearances; too many, and too old. Von Zell had only been a werewolf for a year at most, while some of those bodies…
Some of those bodies were decades old.
"Gabriel…?" von Glower's worried voice reached him as though from a great distance. Gabriel looked up to see von Glower now standing, looking at him with concern, but he took a step back as soon as von Glower tried to reach out for him, his head spinning.
… the Baron arrived in Germany in the seventies… brought new ideas in the club…
… between 1970 and 1990 there were ten to twelve disappearances a year in each area…
… there was an old woman who lived in the forest… she told the police that 'the wolf killed the girl'… she was always complaining about a huge black wolf in the forest…
"Gabriel…?" von Glower's voice again, filled with concern, and then the warm weight of his hand on his arm that made Gabriel shake with sudden revulsion.
"STAY BACK!" he screamed, violently pushing him back. Von Glower stumbled a little, caught by surprise, and he opened his mouth to speak, to ask him what was wrong – but then he shut his mouth and paled as he looked at Gabriel's furious, disgusted expression, and Gabriel could tell that now he knew, he knew that he knew.
"How many people?" Gabriel gritted out, anger barely in check. He couldn't believe he had never realized that von Glower had hunted man as well, that he was a murderer. How could he not realize it? It was plain as day, he only had to think about it for a moment! Was it because he didn't think he would be capable of that? Was that what he had thought? What an idiot he had been!
The other man drew in a deep, shaky breath. "Gabriel-" he began, but Gabriel wouldn't let him finish. He didn't want to listen to his justifications, he didn't want his lies – he wanted the truth.
"How many people, Friedrich?" Gabriel repeated in a tight voice. "How many since when you came back in Germany? How many since Ludwig? How many in your life?"
Von Glower turned away, apparently unable to stand his gaze. "I don't know," he finally admitted.
"And to think you had the guts to look shocked when you saw the bodies!" Gabriel growled. "It was yet another act! And here I thought that at least you condemned what von Zell-"
"I do!" von Glower said vehemently, but Gabriel could sense something akin to desperation in his voice. "That mindless slaughter is… something I'm completely opposed to. I told you that day that a healthy beast in the wild only takes what it needs to survive and treats its prey with-"
"Don't you dare give me that about respect!" Gabriel snapped. "There's nothing respectful in tearing one's throat out! And you sure didn't need to hunt people to survive, so I don't care if you didn't dismember them in pieces tiny enough to fit in a shoebox – you're still no better than von Zell was!"
Von Glower shook his head. "No, Gabriel, I'm not! I never hunted out of bloodlust. But you must understand that to a beast there is no right or wrong, whether the prey is a man or a deer there is no diff-"
Gabriel moved quickly, managing to catch him by surprise, and his right fist hit von Glower straight on his face. He watched with vicious satisfaction as von Glower stumbled backwards and against the wall, bringing a hand to his face, then he was on him again before he could regain composure, and von Glower stilled as he felt something cold and sharp pressing against his throat – the Ritter dagger.
"Can I take a guess here, Friedrich?" Gabriel growled, his anger not soothed by the blood running down von Glower's chin and neck from his split lip. "That day you were shocked because it was the first time you actually saw what you created with your own eyes – as a man. You had never before faced your victims in any form but your beastly one, did you? You had never let the man face the result of the black wolf's actions before."
Von Glower stared at him, looking almost uncertain for the first time, and Gabriel gave him a jolt, still pressing the dagger against his throat.
"Did you?"
"No," von Glower finally murmured. "I had never seen the black wolf's victims with my human eyes."
"Why did you do that, Friedrich? A werewolf can retain some human awareness! I can, and I thought you could as well!"
Von Glower shut his eyes.
"Can you, Friedrich?"
"Gabriel…" he began, a pleading note in his voice, but Gabriel ignored it.
"Can you?" he pressed on, not really knowing what answer he feared the most – that he couldn't keep his human mind during the change or that he could, and consciously went after people. "Or can you not?"
"I can. And I do retain it, usually," von Glower said slowly. "But sometimes… I give up on it. I choose to fully become a beast, and my human mind won't take over again until I change back. In those occasions… prey is prey."
Gabriel could feel his blood turning into ice in his veins. "Then you really are no better than von Zell was."
"Gabriel, to a beast it doesn't matter-"
"Don't give me that again! For fuck's sake, you're not just a beast – you're also a man! You should know better! You-" he trailed off as he noticed how von Glower was avoiding his eyes now. "… You don't look as certain as before about the excuses your beloved philosophy gives you," he said, now quieter.
Von Glower didn't reply right away, and Gabriel was about to press on when he finally turned to meet his gaze, and he Gabriel was taken aback by how empty his eyes looked now. "Let me sit down," von Glower said, sounding weary. "And I'll reply to any question you might have."
Gabriel hesitated for a moment, half-tempted to shake him – he did want to get some reaction out of him, but it was still unsettling seeing him like that – then he just nodded and let go of the front of his shirt. He said nothing and only watched as von Glower sat on the ground somewhat shakily, as though he couldn't find it in himself to walk across the room and have a seat, then he sat in front of him.
"I'm listening," he said coldly. "Why did you do it? You knew it could be dangerous for anyone in your way if you gave up any human consciousness in the Change. Why did you choose to do that?"
Von Glower drew in a deep breath. "The Change grants me a freedom no human being could ever taste. You experienced it as well when you-"
"I kept my human mind intact," Gabriel cut him off, "and you can do the same. So why did you choose not to?" he pressed on, his voice raising.
There was a moment of silence, as though von Glower wasn't sure how to put it. "I suppose you can't know… since you never did…" a pause, then, "leaving all human consciousness behind, becoming fully a beast, grants even more freedom than the one you experienced. That's why, sometimes, I…" his voice faded and he fell silent.
Gabriel stared at him for a few moments, anger boiling in his chest. "So let me get this straight," he said slowly. "You let it happen even though you knew it could mean killing people because hey, it's more fun? Is that what you're saying?" he screamed the last question, jumping on his feet and grabbing the front of von Glower's shirt once more to shake him. "Dammit, Friedrich, how could you?"
Von Glower didn't react, but he did shut his eyes, and when he spoke again his voice was even weaker. "Gabriel, an animal isn't-"
"You're not an animal!" Gabriel screamed, giving him another shake for good measure. "You don't need to kill to survive! You don't automatically lose your mind when you grow fangs and fur – you choose to, for your amusement! How many people's throats did you tear out? Did you even remember doing so when you turned back to normal? Did you ever bother checking when you got your human mind back? No, you didn't, you already said you didn't," he spat out since von Glower seemed unable to speak. "This isn't something a beast does, this is something a monster does. I ought to kill you here and now!"
Von Glower opened his eyes to look at him, and for a moment Gabriel's grip slackened – it was the look of a man who just lost the one certainty he had in his life – but then he thought of the bodies in the cave again, and his grip tightened once more. "Tell me, what did it feel like seeing your victims as a man for the first time? And what did it feel like seeing Toni's mother just now? Oh, sure, von Zell was the one who killed her, but all those you killed surely had someone left to mourn, don't you think?" he roughly shoved von Glower back against the wall, as though he could no longer stand the closeness "you know what, I was wrong. You're not like von Zell – you're worse. At least von Zell was driven insane. Losing his mind wasn't his choice."
Von Glower said nothing, gaze lowered, and his silence infuriated Gabriel even more – didn't he have anything to say but poor excuses for himself? "At least say something," he snapped. "Something that makes sense."
There were a few moments of silence before von Glower finally lifted his gaze, and Gabriel couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for him, no matter how haunted and lost he looked now. "You're right," he said quietly. "I had never faced the consequences of any kill – any human kill – I did as the black wolf. Since they happened when I retained no human awareness-"
"When you chose not to," Gabriel cut him off. He was not about to let him forget that detail.
Von Glower drew in a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, when I chose not to retain human awareness, I… wouldn't remember whether or not I had killed a human being the moment I returned to my human form."
"And you didn't try to find out," Gabriel reminded him mercilessly, arms folded on his chest.
"No, I did not. When you found the cave and I got in to see the bodies you had found, I wasn't prepared to see how many bodies were there. My shock that day was real," he shut his eyes. "I was not pretending."
"Is that supposed to make any of this okay?" Gabriel snapped at him. The other man shook his head.
"No, it wouldn't change a thing. I know that," von Glower said tiredly, and even though he was so much taller and broad-shouldered than Gabriel was he looked more vulnerable than Gabriel had ever thought he could possibly look, gaze lowered and back resting against the wall, blood still on his face. "Nothing I say would change that."
"Darn right it wouldn't," Gabriel said, but his frown had softened just a little. "But it wasn't enough to make you doubt of your philosophy just yet. But now you are, aren't you? So what did the trick?"
"The girl's mother. She reminded me of my own mother," von Glower murmured, and his reply was so unexpected that Gabriel blinked – but he gave him no reply, waiting for von Glower to go on. He didn't have to wait for long.
"She would have given her life for my safety. She did everything in her power to keep me safe. She often said that had she failed to save me the day our home was burned, she would have had no reason left to live. She said that grief would have killed her," von Glower said, his voice now sounding oddly distant "I dreaded the thought she'd have to suffer like that more than I feared for my life. And then I saw the Hubers, and what I saw was exactly the grief I so feared my mother would have to go through. And I wondered how many people had to grieve because of…" he paused and let himself slide on the ground so that he's be sitting again. He buried his face in his hands and said nothing more.
A long, heavy silence followed. Gabriel stared at him, his anger wavering as he tried to see the Friedrich he knew in that wreck of a man, and he realized that his philosophy, the principle according to which he wasn't morally responsible for the actions of the black wolf, was what had allowed him to live with himself until that moment – and now that he didn't have that anymore, how was he supposed to justify himself?
He couldn't, Gabriel thought. He simply couldn't. He had come to realize there were things he had no justifications for, responsibilities he could not shrug off, and to him that was worse than anything else he had ever faced in his long life. "Friedrich," he heard himself calling out.
Von Glower finally lifted his head to face him again. He looked pale and he could not conceal the slight tremor in his hands before he folded them tightly together. "Perhaps you truly should," he said quietly. "Kill me, I mean. You'd free yourself from the curse."
It was only then that Gabriel realized he still had the Ritter dagger in his hand. For the briefest moment his grip around the handle tightened, then just shook his head and forced your grip to relax. "And give you an easy way out? No. You told me I have a lot to think through – and you were right. But it looks like I'm not the only one who's got an awful lot thinking to do. I hope you will, carefully," he added before finally leaving the room, closing the door behind him.
Von Glower did not get up for a long time.
Grace knew she was dreaming the very same moment she opened her eyes to find herself standing in the corner of a bedroom she knew well, even though she had only seen it once: King Ludwig II's room in Neuschwanstein. As though that – and the fact she was still wearing her nightgown – wasn't enough of a give away, she could also see Ludwig himself in the room. But he wasn't looking at her: he was actually looking at someone else, a tall, broad shouldered man with curly black hair she recognized right away – von Glower.
Only that back then he didn't go as 'von Glower'. Back then he was Paul Gowden first, then Rudolf von Glower… and to Ludwig, he was 'Louis'.
"Ludwig, please," Louis – von Glower – spoke in German, but Grace was somehow able to understand each word he spoke. "You don't understand…"
Ludwig ordered him to silence with one imperious gesture, his face distorted in anger. "Oh, but I do understand. I only now begin to understand what kind of lowly creature you truly are. Get out of my sight at once, you Judas!"
"Ludwig…" von Glower sounded almost desperate now, and Grace was sure she had seen a flicker of something different from hatred on the king's face before he scowled again and silenced him once more with a vehement gesture.
"And after all the lies you fed me, after you sold me to that Prussian jackal, you expect me to believe your words? You expect me to believe you love me still after you damned me? You expect me to believe you ever did?"
"I did – I do!" von Glower cried out. "Please, let me explain-"
"Say no more, you devil!" Ludwig shouted. "Do not dare to show at my door ever again! I refuse to look upon your face one more minute! Go away, or I else…!" he hesitated, then he clenched his jaw, his eyes burning. "Or else I'll tell what you truly are! I don't care of what will happen to me, but I shall have you destroyed! I shall see you burning at the stake like your wretched father if you don't disappear from my sight!"
For an instant von Glower looked terrified, even more than he had when he had realized he was about to turn into a wolf during the Opera, then he clenched his jaw. "So be it!" he exclaimed, taking a step forward, and Grace could see it took Ludwig an effort to not step back. "Call the guards, tell everyone the truth! Get me arrested, get me killed, get yourself murdered if you're so inclined – but listen to me first!" he was actually begging now, maybe without even realizing it, and he seemed so desperate that he could have moved a stone. Grace had to shake her head and repeat herself that he didn't deserve her compassion, but despite everything she still couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for him, for the lonely life he had to lead.
Ludwig hesitated again, a pained expression crossing his features, and for a brief moment it looked like he would give in… but then he forced himself to scowl once again. If it had been clear in his diary that he could never truly hate him, Grace thought, it was even clearer now. Still, he forced himself to believe he did, and when he spoke again his voice was trembling with… pain? Sadness? Rage? Grace couldn't tell.
"Can't you see how your mere presence is a torment to me?" he asked. "You have spoken enough. You have done enough – I only wish you finished your mission and ended my life rather than condemning me to this! A bloody death would have been sweeter than this. And to add insult to injury, I also have to endure the torment of listening over and over all your lies!"
Von Glower's features twisted into a mask of pure pain, as though those words had hit him physically. "Ludwig, I beg you-"
But Ludwig wouldn't listen to one more word he spoke. "Get out of my sight, Rudolf von Glower," he cut him off, spitting out the name he had chosen for himself when Bismarck had given him a title in exchange of his services, in exchange of the work he had done to convince him, Ludwig, to sign the treaty with Prussia. "I don't want to hear any of your lies anymore. But if it was not all a lie, if what you claim you felt for me is true, use me at least some mercy and never come near me again."
That seemed to hit von Glower in a way his shouts couldn't. He took a staggering step back, his gaze still fixed on the king, his face almost as pale as Grace had seen it when he had been wounded in the furnace room of the theatre. When he spoke again, his voice sounded oddly weak and he looked so much younger and almost lost, even though he looked everything like he did in the present and he had to be at well past a century old at that point already.
"I could teach you to enjoy this kind of life," he said quietly. It sounded like a plea, and it was clear that it was his last attempt – Grace could easily guess he had used that argument more than once already. "There is one thing I never lied to you about, and it is how I feel about you. We could truly be one now, and we could be happy if you only leave this place with me. We could flee together wherever you like, and you'll find out what a blessing this condition can be if you learn to accept it, to embrace it. Join me," he pleaded, his hand reaching out for Ludwig. From her corner and unseen by them, Grace scowled as she recalled those same words written on the letter von Glower had sent to Gabriel after he had been bitten – join me.
Some of her contempt for him flared up again as she thought of how he could be the cause of Gabriel's ruin just as he had been the cause of Ludwig's, and it was a relief… still, despite her best efforts, she couldn't ignore the sense of pity gnawing at her.
"Join you?" Ludwig was repeating, a disgusted expression on his face as he glanced at von Glower's outstretched hand. "And thus surrender to the beast and live outside God's grace? No, I refuse to walk down that path to damnation!"
Von Glower dropped his shoulders, his hand falling by his side, and he suddenly looked incredibly tired. "You're condemning yourself this way," he said before adding in a whisper that Ludwig maybe didn't even hear, "... and me."
"No, I'm trying to keep my immortal soul safe. You're the one who condemned me," Ludwig's voice was as cold as ice, much more terrifying than his screams and insults. "Now, for the last time, leave this room. Leave this castle and never come back, you snake," his fiery eyes stared in von Glower's, and Grace could see that despite all his anger and the pain of the betrayal, it was taking him a terrible effort to convince himself that he truly despised his former lover. "May God damn you to the deepest pit of hell."
Von Glower flinched and for a moment Grace thought he would try to speak again, but then his face turned into an emotionless mask. "As you wish, Your Majesty," was all he said before he turned his back to him and walked out of the room.
Ludwig gave a long sigh as the door closed behind him and sat on a nearby chair, burrowing his face in his hands. He stayed motionless for what had to be only a few minutes, but felt like hours to Grace. She finally took a few steps forward, if anything to see if Ludwig would detect her presence and react in any way, but she was still a few steps from him when a howl came from the window, coming from the woods around the castle, and there was no mistaking whose howl that was: a normal wolf's howl would have never sounded so mournful, so filled with grief and loss.
Ludwig let out a cry as the sound reached his ears and he immediately collapsed from the chair on his knees, his hands clamping his ears shut, his breathing labored, murmuring something that sounded like a prayer. The last thing Grace could see as the scene before her began to slowly fade and falter away while she began to wake up was that Ludwig's handsome face was twisted in an expression of indescribable anguish, tears running down his cheeks and falling on the richly decorated carpet beneath him.
It was dark when von Glower left his room for the first time since his last conversation with Gabriel. His split lip had already healed, and he didn't pay any mind to the blood on the collar of his shirt – after all, he wasn't planning on keeping it all for much longer: he wouldn't need any clothes at all after Changing.
He wasn't planning on escaping: he would be back before dawn. But right he only wanted the little relief he could find in the Change, in savouring the cold wind of the forest ruffling his fur, in following this or that scent until his paws were tired, until he could find a deer or a rabbit that would fall to his fangs. He would sneak outside form the secret passage, leave his clothes there and-
A sudden clinking noise reached his ears, so soft that it was almost covered by the crackling sound of the fire he supposed Gerde had left going on before retiring in her room. Von Glower stopped in his tracks, wondering who it could be; he couldn't find it in himself to face Gabriel now, and he didn't know whether or not he had told anyone else what he had just found out about him. If he had, he didn't know what kind of reception he would get. In any case there was no way for him to sneak outside with someone in the living room, at least not trough the passage he knew, so he should probably just get back and-
"Oh, hey. It's you," Mosely's voice reached him before he could move a step. Von Glower glanced down at him to see he had a bottle of wine in his hand and a glass in the other. "You scared me for a moment. Care for a drink?" he asked, raising the bottle a bit. "I was looking for bourbon, but looks like all that's left is wine. I think I'll buy some of the good stuff on my way back from the shrine. Given that I don't get caught and arrested for trying to steal a royal heart," he muttered, making a face. "Hell, wouldn't that fuck me up big time. Would end my career back home in a snap."
So it looked like Gabriel hadn't told the others, von Glower mused. He opened his mouth to decline, but then it occurred to him that Mosely's was the only friendly face he had seen that day, aside from Gabriel's and perhaps Gerde – and Gabriel had to despise him now – and he found himself suddenly yearning for just that, for a little company and maybe some small talk over wine.
"Gladly," he finally heard himself saying, walking down the stairs to join him. There were a few armchairs around the fireplace, close enough to the fire to be comfortably warm, and Mosely was pouring the wine in two glasses. He handed one to von Glower, who took it and sat on the armchair facing him. "Thank you."
"Hey, you're welcome," Mosely said, looking only a little uncomfortable. "This... wasn't your best day ever, eh?"
"Not quite, no," von Glower admitted before taking a sip of wine. "I must thank you again for standing up against the villagers."
Mosely shrugged. "Told you, it was nothing. But man, you did give me a scare when you let that guy putting the gun at your head. Don't do that again."
A small chuckle left von Glower. "I won't," he promised, though wondering how soon Gabriel would finally realize killing him was the only option. Now that he had to despise him, it was a given he would soon reach that conclusion. "I'm glad no one had to shoot."
"Yeah, tell me about it. I got the goosebumps at the thought of shooting - we were outnumbered as hell, so I wouldn't have gotten to shoot twice. Guess they weren't really thinking so clearly."
Von Glower sighed. "But they were right. I have my responsibilities for Tony Huber's death."
For hers, and many others.
"Well…" Mosely scratched his cheek. "You did not do it, and it was not your intention. So it's more... accessory to manslaughter?"
"Oh, it was slaughter alright," von Glower found himself saying bitterly. "Of a young child, in broad daylight, before her own parents' eyes."
Mosely shifted. "Huh... well, still wasn't you. And it's not like smearing your brains all over Knight's door would bring anyone back. I think. Or would it? This supernatural crap is beyond me."
The chuckle that left von Glower was a little more sincere this time. "I think not."
"Yeah, guess not. I must sound like an idiot," Mosely muttered, emptying half of his glass in one go. Not how you're supposed to enjoy wine, but von Glower was hardly in the mood to point out as much.
"No, you don't," was the reply. "You're actually dealing with all this far better than most people would. This is not your first encounter with supernatural, is it?" he asked, suddenly reminded of detective Mostly's role in Gabriel's novel about the voodoo murders. "You helped Gabriel along with his first case."
"Yeah, that I did," Mosely smirked a little. "It was Twilight Zone crap, I tell you. But it was, uh… a break from routine, I guess."
"And after that you came all the way from the States to make sure he was fine, even though you knew he might be involved in some other case."
"Well, yeah. He's a pain in the ass but hey, we've got each other's back."
"That alone makes you a valuable friend and ally for Gabriel," von Glower said quietly, taking another sip of wine, which seemed to turn sour in his mouth at the thought he had lost any chance to be close to Gabriel even as a friend. "You and Miss Nakimura both."
Mosely opened his mouth to reply, but someone else got there first.
"Did you hear me coming and tried to flatter me?"
Both Mosely and von Glower glanced at the bottom of the stairs where Grace stood, clothed in her nightgown and her eyes still swollen with sleep.
"Grace. What are you doing up at this hour? Are you alright?" Mosely asked.
"No," von Glower was replying at the same time. "I was not really listening. I did not hear you coming."
Grace just nodded slightly at von Glower before turning to Mosely. "Mosely, I need to speak with the big bad wolf here. Alone."
Mosely looked a little puzzled, but he eventually just filled up his glass again and stood up with the clear intention of bringing it in his room. "Alright, guess I should try getting some sleep before I'll be off to steal a dead king's heart. You're not going to try pushing him in the fireplace or anything, right?"
Grace chuckled just a bit. "I might be tempted, but no. I just have… something to discuss with him."
"Okay then. Just…" he hesitated. "Well, take it easy, okay? 'Night," he added at von Glower before walking upstairs. Von Glower followed him with his gaze before sighing and turning to face Grace, who poured a glass of wine for herself before sitting on the same armchair Mosely had been sitting onto until a minute before.
"I take it there is something you want to discuss," he said quietly, faintly wondering if she knew, if Gabriel had told her… still, he thought not. She looked far too calm, too controlled in his presence. Had she known, she would have expected more anger... and hardly any willingness to be alone with him.
Grace drank a little before replying. "I had another of those dreams," she finally said stiffly, her gaze fixed on the glass. "About Ludwig. And you."
That wasn't a reply von Glower had been expecting. Not that he knew what to expect to begin with. "Me?" he repeated.
"Yes. You were in it, asking him to join you. He refused, and when you left… he broke down," she bit her lower lip before staring at him straight in the eyes. "You destroyed him. Did you know being Changed would destroy him?"
So that was what the talk would be about. Von Glower lowered his eyes to his glass. "No. I did not think it would turn out to be such a torment to him," he said tiredly, not lifting his gaze from his wine. "I had hoped he would-"
"Join you," Grace finished for him, her voice completely flat.
Von Glower nodded. "Yes."
"So you betrayed him to have him for yourself, and keep him out of Bismark's way," she stated, a sharp edge showing in her voice.
"Not quite. I betrayed him far before that day. I lied to him from the start, on many things," he said, turned to look at her as he spoke. "I'm sure you know by now that our meeting was not casual. I was set on him by the Prussian court. Bismark wanted him to sign the treaty, but Ludwig was far too proud, and far too enamoured of his Bavaria to accept that. I was to gain his trust, to become his confidant, and convince him to sign it. And that I did."
Grace stared back at him and nodded, slowly. "But you grew to care for him. Didn't you?"
Von Glower smiled weakly. "I soon grew to love him, yes. He was a noble soul – noble, but troubled. And in a way he already was as lonely as myself. After he signed the treaty and my work was done, I was given lands, and a title. I could go back to Prussia, start a new life with all that. But I could not will myself to leave his side. I told Bismark I was planning on staying in case he changed his mind someday and might need to be convinced once more, but I hoped he never would. The years that followed were those I remember most fondly. But then…" he paused, the faraway look in his eyes fading. "Then he began having second thoughts. He said that the treaty was the ruin of his Bavaria, that his kingdom was meant to wear its own crown."
Grace forced herself to ignore the clear trace of sadness in von Glower's voice, but she found herself unable to feel anger. Maybe it was because of the sadness the dream had left behind, maybe she was just too tired. "And you were ordered to kill him, or render him unable to rule so that he could be disposed of."
"Not right away, no," von Glower murmured. "I tried to speak to him first, to convince him that the treaty was to be kept. I tried with all the arguments I had, begged him not to tell anyone of those views, at least not immediately; I begged him to wait and think matters thoroughly before voicing his thoughts to anyone. But he must have mentioned it to someone else, for word reached Bismark. So I was given that order – convince him, kill him, or make sure he would be considered unfit to rule and deposed. And as you know, I could not convince him in any way. But I tried," his voice faded a little, and he shut his eyes. "I tried."
"And you still accepted to carry out the order," she said, some coldness making it back in her voice.
"If it weren't me to get him out of the way somehow, someone else would have. I knew it would only be a matter of time. I-"
"You could have told him the truth. You could have warned him," she cut him off, and von Glower fell silent for a few moments.
"Yes," he finally said, "I could have. I should have. But I feared he'd hate me if I were to do so. I certainly deserved it, but I couldn't bear losing him."
"And you decided to make him yours. You thought that by biting him you could satisfy both Bismark and yourself," Grace stated, then, "and you also hoped he would learn to enjoy his new life and escape with you."
"That I did," he confirmed. "It was foolish of me. I was lonely and selfish, and..." his voice faded, and he fell silent for a long minute. "I condemned him because I hoped things would turn out differently. I condemned von Zell for the same reason. It was for naught, all of it. Ludwig's fate taught me nothing."
Grace bit her lower lip. "Did you do the same to von Zell, then? Did you Change him against his will?"
Von Glower shook his head. "No," he said. "I told him the truth about myself last year. We had become... close, and I thought he had absorbed enough of the philosophy, that he might be ready. I asked him if he wanted to accept the Blood first. He did. He wanted to be Changed, he wanted to be my companion: he considered it a gift. But he did not know of the risks. I kept telling myself that he was ready and that he would escape them, and I didn't tell him of the madness that could come with it should the Blood be too much for his mind. Did Garr von Zell want to become like me? Yes," he sighed, facing her again, "but he did not want to become a monster."
A long silence followed as Grace simply stared at him, speechless. It was the chiming of an old clock to startle her out of her thoughts. "At least we can fix some of the mess you made," she finally said. "We can give Ludwig peace at last, since we can take his heart. And to von Zell, I suppose, unless you destroyed-"
"I did not. I simply hid the body well. His heart was hit by a bullet, and it was enough to kill him; destroying his body was not necessary."
"I see. So we can help them now. But what of Gabriel?" she asked, anguish showing in her voice against her own will.
"Gabriel's only way out is killing me," von Glower said plainly, his gaze empty. "He will soon understand you were right all along. He'll have to accept that someday, and behave accordingly."
Grace found herself staring at him in surprise. "He… what?"
"He will simply know there is no other way out," von Glower repeated, "and perhaps my death will serve to soothe some of the Hubers' suffering."
She frowned. "You know it won't. Your death won't bring back their child," she told him a little sharply, then her tone softened. "If you think Gabriel will reach that conclusion, why are you staying? You could escape now. You could have escaped already. You had plenty of chances."
"What for?" von Glower asked with a slight shrug. "If I escape once more, if I run away, I know I'll be alone for the rest of my days. Never again I'll take the risk of Changing someone else. And I'm tired of being alone through years, decades, centuries. It wears you down in a way you cannot imagine."
"I thought you hoped Gabriel would join you," Grace pointed out.
Von Glower shut his eyes and thought back of Gabriel's furious, hurt expression upon knowing that he – someone he had trusted against all odds – had shed human blood. Von Glower used to think it was something that as a beast he was not to take responsibility for; now he knew he could no longer cling to that thought, and he feared Gabriel would never forgive him. He had lost any possibility he had thought he had of convincing him to join him – nothing but loneliness would await him if he were to live through those days.
"Not anymore, I don't," he murmured. "I'll help you at the best of my possibilities to bring Ludwig and Garr to peace. Afterwards… Gabriel will choose what to do. I'm sure he'll choose wisely. You're his friend – I trust you'll help him with his choice."
"But…" she said, staring at him and faintly wondering if he had hit his head – was he really telling her she should convince Gabriel to kill him? "What will become of your soul once you're dead?" she asked, realizing just then that she had never even thought of that.
Von Glower didn't reply right away, and Grace noticed his hands shook a little as he poured himself another glass of wine. "I suppose I'll simply wander, like Ludwig had to do," he said quietly, pausing to take a few sips of wine. "Fitting, I'd say."
Grace felt a sudden coldness in her stomach. That was a horrible fate, the kind of fate she tried so hard to save Ludwig from; they were even trying to spare that to von Zell, to the madman who had slaughtered little Tony Huber and several others. The thought of condemning the man sitting beside her to that very same torment made her uncomfortable. "Maybe we could… free your soul as well," Grace heard herself saying. "There is this ritual, you heard of it. We could-"
"No, you couldn't," he cut her off with a shake of her head. "Blood of a living relative within the seventh generation would be needed. I have no living relatives; even if I were to find any distant one, it would be far past that."
Grace stared at him for a few moments, and her uneasiness had to be showing on her face, for von Glower smiled weakly. "Do not concern yourself about me," he said gently. "My fate is either death or a life of loneliness, and nothing can change that. I've come to accept it. I guess my only regret is that I won't be able to beg for Ludwig's forgiveness," he said, and paused. "... But perhaps he still wouldn't want to face me, even in death."
The memory of her dream still vivid in her mind, she bit her lower lip and turned away. "Look, I… I don't want you dead just because, okay?" she muttered. "I don't really want you dead. I only want Gabriel to be okay. If we find another way to break the curse on him… if you're not going to Change anyone else…"
Von Glower found himself smiling a little bitterly. If she only knew what Gabriel now knew about him! "That matters not. Gabriel will eventually be free from the curse, whatever it takes," he said, "but thank you."
"It's okay," she said before falling silent, not knowing what else she was supposed to do or say – but then von Glower spoke first.
"May I ask you one thing?" he asked, gaze fixed on the still half-filled glass.
"What?"
"These… dreams you've been having. About Ludwig. Do you have them often?" he asked.
"This is only the third time," Grace replied. "The first time it was a little over a couple of months ago, right on the first night I spent in Schloss Ritter; I saw him riding that sleigh… you know, the one he'd ride at night. He helped me escape from a pack of wolves, and then turned into one himself. He was trying to let me know what I was facing, I think. Trying to let me know what happened to him."
Von Glower seemed thoughtful. "Yes, that must have his reason. He helped you along, didn't he? With the lost opera and his scheme at the theatre with the crystals. It was his idea, unless I'm mistaken. He planned that trap for me, to have me killed and free himself."
Grace bit her lower lip in thought. "Yes, that was what the scheme at the theatre was for. But I do wonder why he'd choose to do something that complex. He could have hired an assassin. He would have still had a hand in your killing, and he would have been free. Didn't you ever wonder why he never did that?"
He didn't reply right away: he finished his wine and put the glass down first. "I did, more than once. Especially since, as far as I knew until a few days ago, no scheme to end my life ever existed. Ludwig knew that by ordering my murder he would have been freed from the curse; of course, he knew I'm not so easy to kill and that I might have escaped a simple assassination attempt with relative ease – but why didn't he even try? That I don't know. I can only guess," he said, and turned to glance at her. "You do have a guess of your own, don't you, Miss Nakimura?"
Grace nodded. "Yes. I think he didn't downright order you killed because he couldn't bring himself to," she said softly "you were still a… an obsession to him, until his last breath. When he killed himself, he cursed you to hell. But he still referred to you as his love," she gave a small, sad sigh, reaching to run a hand through her hair. "When he realized music, along with properly placed crystals, had the power to trigger the Change, he decided to use it to make you turn into a wolf right in front of everyone – someone would shoot you as a reaction, no doubt. That was his plan. He would simply make you reveal your true nature in public and let someone else deal with you accordingly, without having to utter your death sentence himself. Is that what you think as well?"
He slowly nodded. "Yes," he said quietly, "that his what I think. And in a way, I suppose that plan fit very well with the man Ludwig was. Complicated and apparently illogic, but perfectly planned out and even beautiful in a tragic sort of way. It truly didn't surprise me to know it was actually him to come up with such a scheme." Von Glower stared ahead for a few moments, as though lost in through, then he sighed. "And what of the other times you dreamed him?"
"Well…" Grace murmured, shaking the melancholy off herself, and she had to clear her throat before she could speak more clearly. "After that it was Gabriel to dream him while unconscious, after being bitten. In the dream, Ludwig showed him where he had hidden the parts of the opera, and the diagram. I only dreamed of him again after the plan had failed. The night before I made you read his…" her voice faded for a moment, but then she kept speaking. "I dreamed we were back in the theatre. He asked me why hadn't I helped him, why hadn't I saved him. And then we were on the lake where he killed himself, and I saw his suicide..."
Her voice broke, and a long silence followed. "And tonight you dreamed of my attempts to ask him to leave the court and join me," he finally murmured.
"Yes. But I don't understand what he's trying to tell me this time."
"I think he's simply asking you not to give up on him," von Glower suggested, "to help him finding peace at long last, now that we know there is another chance for him. He's asking not to be forgotten."
"As if I could," Grace muttered with a sigh before shaking her head a little, as though to clear her thoughts. "Why did you ask about my dreams anyway?"
Von Glower stayed silent for a few more moments before replying. "When we first met in the cell downstairs," he said slowly, "I got the impression something was off with your resentment against me. Don't get me wrong – you had, and still have, all rights to hate me – but all that anger seemed just too much from someone I hadn't personally harmed. And I wondered if it all of it was from you in the first place."
Grace frowned. "What are you getting at?"
He made a vague gesture with his hand. "Let's put it this way – you and Ludwig developed a bond; that's what allows him to appear in your dreams and guide you. You opened your soul to his, and he opened his to yours. Don't you think this might mean he has some kind of… influence on you?"
The question made Grace stare at him for a whole minute before she could reply. "You mean that he could… control me, or something?" she asked slowly.
"Not quite, no," von Glower corrected her. "Your actions are still your own. Your free will wasn't hindered. It is just your emotions he might influence, perhaps without meaning it. Do you think it might be possible?"
She stayed silent another minute, staring ahead in thought. She thought back of the melancholy she had felt when in Ludwig's room in Neuschwanstein while looking in the mirror, of the deep sadness and sense of helplessness as she stood on the banks of the lake where he had killed himself – and of the hatred she had felt for von Glower, for the black wolf, when the plan had failed: had all of those emotions been wholly hers, and hers alone?
No.
Grace swallowed and turned to him. "I… I think you might be right," she finally said. How come she had never thought of it? Had she stopped to think about it with a cool mind, she would have realized she was far too eager to have Gabriel killing him that she probably should have, to the point that she had been reluctant to even wait a little to find out if another way out could be possible. Could it be that…? "Do you think Ludwig was hoping that by somehow… pressing me into having Gabriel killing you he could be freed?" she asked.
"That's a possibility," von Glower admitted. "He must have been desperate after the scheme at the theatre, his scheme, failed. For him to be free he had to have a hand in my demise. But now something changed – now we know of another way to save him. You seemed far less hostile to me tonight than you've ever been."
"Because Ludwig could never truly hate you. He wouldn't want you killed if it's not necessary," she murmured. "And now… now it isn't anymore."
Von Glower smiled a bit. "Not to save him, no. But for Gabriel it will be."
"Only because you don't now of any other way it doesn't mean there isn't," Grace pointed out, her eyes narrowing a little. "You didn't know of the ritual to free a deceased werewolf's soul, but it exists and now we know it. There could be another way. Give us a chance to try."
A chuckle escaped him. "That's quite a change of attitude, Miss Nakimura."
"Things changed," she retorted, then she tried to smile a little, "and I guess that at some point I had to give up and admit that Gabriel will never be convinced to kill you now."
A bitter expression crossed von Glower's features at the thought that perhaps Gabriel was in the process of changing his mind already now that he knew the truth, but he managed to hide it. "I suppose that for now we should simply focus on helping Ludwig. He's been suffering for far too long, and I wouldn't want to ruin his chance now. We'll think of what should be done with me once both him and Garr-" he trailed off as a sudden thought hit him, his eyes widening a little.
"What is it?" Grace asked, puzzled.
"Garr," von Glower muttered, getting up from the armchair as though something had just bitten him before pacing back and forth across the room. "He's got to be somewhere in-between, too: a wandering spirit, like Ludwig is."
"I… guess that could be," Grace said, trying not to think of the fact that old book about lycanthropes read that any werewolf that tasted human blood would be damned to hell right away – but on the other hand, who knew if that was true? It wasn't like whoever wrote it ever saw it himself. "That's likely, at least. Why are you…?"
"Ludwig could communicate with you through dreams," von Glower said, still restlessly pacing across the room. "He could guide you, and his connection to you could influence your emotions and sensations in some way, isn't that right?"
"Yes, that's what we established. Why do you-" Grace began, then she trailed off. "… Wait. Do you think von Zell could be able to do the same thing? That he could have established a connection to someone?" she asked, getting up herself. "Are you thinking of…?"
"Yes!" he stopped pacing to stand in front of her. "Think of it – a close relative of his shows up in Rittersberg. She seems to be sure something is wrong with von Zell's death, and wants answers from Gabriel himself. She has a strong dislike for him for apparently no reason. And she's restless, she's prone to anger, she behaves like a caged animal – and she keeps eating, always hungry, never sated: all the traits of someone who's getting through the Change. And yet she is not a werewolf, she's not a cursed soul: she's connected to one, and this influences her mood and emotions so much more than Ludwig influenced yours because the spirit who's now connected to her died so recently and is so closely related to her. Von Zell set her on Gabriel's trail. He wants her to find out what truly happened, and perhaps to find a way to help him. He is the reason why Elsa Schröder showed at Gabriel's doorstep: he's guiding her to the truth the same way Ludwig guided you."
Grace considered his words. Yes, it fit, all of it. "You could be right," she said. "We have to tell Gabriel about it. If von Zell can really communicate to her somehow she could really find out the truth, and we better speak to her before she does and reveals any of this to… well, to anyone. Maybe she'll even cooperate once we tell her we want to help her uncle. We could use her blood for the ritual as soon as we know something more about-"
"Not sure convincing her will be that easy. But hey, that's a good explanation. Fits right with that charming Rottweiler personality," Gabriel's voice came from the stairs, causing Grace to trail off and both of them to look up at him. He was almost to the bottom of the stairs, clearly having dressed himself hastily, his hair still tousled from sleep – but the dark shadows under his eyes made it clear his sleep had not been easy, if there had been any.
"Gabriel," she said. "How long…?"
"A few minutes. I heard enough," Gabriel said with a shrug, only looking at Grace as though he hadn't even noticed von Glower's presence. "I got a great hearing as a side affect, and you sure didn't bother to be quiet right now. At least there wasn't any bloodshed. From either side," he added, his voice growing just a little colder, and his eyes briefly turned to von Glower, who bit his lower lip at the anger and hurt that still showed in Gabriel's gaze.
Grace didn't seem to notice, clearly too caught up with planning out their next move; von Glower couldn't help but admire her practical mind. "Great, so you know already. I… we were thinking that the sooner we get to talk to her about this, the better it is. If she finds out the truth before that, she might not trust as at all."
Gabriel made a face. "Yeah, but I can't say I look forward to dealing with her again. And with von Zell, for extent."
An exasperated snort left her. "Gabriel, this is important. We could need he."
"I know, I know," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Tell you what, I'll give Harry a call tomorrow and ask him if he can look up for her address and phone number and stuff."
"Harry?" Grace repeated.
"Harold Übergrau. Y'know, the family lawyer. His son, actually, but he takes his job seriously. He'd try his best to get me the Queen of England's crown if I asked for it," he said with a chuckle. "He even helped me out with a little translation about, well, my last case. I can trust him to do as I ask and keep his mouth shut about it, so I bet we'll have the Rottweiler's address and phone number by tomorrow afternoon, if not sooner. If she's so eager to find out the truth, I bet she won't be sayin' no to another chat."
Grace nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."
"Sure, it's mine," Gabriel gave her a cocky grin, causing her to roll her eyes.
"Yes, whatever," she muttered before yawning. "Guess I'm off. I have to get up early tomorrow to see this practitioner. I just hope the ritual won't turn out to be too complicated."
"Yeah, same here, on both things. I'm off, too. 'Night, Gracie," he said lightly before turning and walking upstairs again. The sound of the door of his room closing echoed even downstairs, followed by a few moments of silence.
"I guess we should all try to get some sleep," Grace finally commented, still so busy mulling over what Elsa's contact with von Zell's soul could mean for them and their plan that she didn't seem to have even noticed how Gabriel hadn't even looked in von Glower's direction again, how he hadn't even spoken to him once. Von Glower was grateful for that: at least he wouldn't have to answer to any questions.
He simply nodded. "I agree. I think I'll retire as well in a few minutes."
Grace glanced at him. "Is insomnia something else that comes with the curse?" she asked in a half-hearted attempt to joke that made von Glower smile a little: now that Gabriel was so cold – and had all rights to be, he though with some sadness – it didn't feel bad at all getting to speak to other people who did not want to spill his blood, or at least not anymore.
"I simply have some things on my mind," was all he said, turning to glance at the fireplace again. Grace seemed to understand his mute request to be left alone, for she just turned and walked upstairs without saying another word.
For long hours the gentle crackling of the fire was the only noise in the room. Von Glower stared into the fireplace throughout most of the night, until the fire was gone and nothing but glowing embers were left, thinking of the despair in Ludwig's eyes, the madness in von Zell's, the anger and hurt in Gabriel's, the fear that must have been in little Toni Huber's in her last instants – and by dawn he found himself wondering if it wouldn't have been for the best if his life had ended in flames and smoke the very same night his father's had.
"I take it I'm dreaming again. Please, tell me I'm just dreaming again."
Elsa's voice sounded faint to her own ears, but she didn't take notice: she was far too busy looking around to try figuring out where the hell she was. It was an elegant living room with a high ceiling; most of the furniture was apparently made of carved wood, and it looked very expensive, though not nearly as much as the carpets on the floor.
A great place to stay, but Elsa was sure she had never been there before – not to mention that last thing she remembered was falling asleep in her own apartment, so it had to be a dream, right? She was about to pinch herself to be sure, but she froze as she caught sight of something in front of her: a mirror, a large mirror that took a large part of one of the walls. She could see her reflection and that of the room's furniture, but it wasn't that that made her stare at the mirror with widened eyes.
She wasn't alone in that reflection.
Elsa turned so quickly that there wouldn't have been any time for anyone to hide, but nobody was in the room with her – much less him. Still, as she turned to look at the reflection once more, nothing had changed – von Zell was still standing behind her dressed in what she supposed were his hunting clothes, his expression unreadable.
Well, no need of pinching now. This has got to be a dream.
Still, she found herself speaking, eyes still fixed on the mirror. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked the reflection. "I'm trying to figure it out, but damn you, you've got to help me out!"
He said nothing, staring at her through – of from? – the mirror.
"Say something! You could speak last time!" she growled in frustration.
Garr von Zell stared at her for a few more moments, then he turned to his left and walked away, disappearing from the mirror.
"Hey! Come back!" Elsa called out, reaching to touch the mirror's cool surface, but it didn't feel any different as a normal mirror's. Where had he gone? She sighed and turned to the direction he had vanished to – the direction he would have taken had he truly been standing beside her and had she truly been looking at a reflection – to see a door leading to a hallway. Oh well, she thought to herself, it wasn't like she had any other leads.
It turned out her guess was right after all: as soon as she stepped into the hallway – which was as dark as the living room had been bright, she noticed – the light was suddenly switched on in a room at her left, whose door was ajar. Elsa walked up to it and pushed it open.
What she found inside was a study, with a large wooden desk against one wall – and sitting at the desk, with his back to her, was von Zell. He didn't turn as she approached, his gaze fixed on something on his desk; he only turned when she was standing by his side and could see that what he was looking at was a map. He looked up at her and nodded towards the map, his finger tracing a small writing on the upper right corner of the map – Nationalpark Bayerischer Wald. The Bavarian National Forest.
"That's where you went missing," Elsa stated.
"It's where I was killed," Von Zell spoke, his voice so filled with rage that for a moment it sounded like a growl.
Elsa found herself unable to breathe for a moment. So it was true, she was right – Garr von Zell had been killed. "Who?" she asked.
This time von Zell offered no reply: he just turned back to the map and tapped a spot with a finger, where – she noticed – two rivers seemed to join into one. "Find me," von Zell rasped.
She swallowed. "Do you mean it's there? Your body…?"
Again, von Zell gave her no answer. He just folded the map and pulled back a little to open a drawer and put the map in it, then he leaned on the desk and shut his eyes. "Find me," he repeated, his voice now weaker.
Elsa tried to speak, to reach out to shake him and ask him once more who had it been to kill him, but a moment later her eyes snapped open and she found herself staring at the ceiling of her room, her right arm still stretched out.