Chapter 10: Qpid:

Author's Note: Yes! Qpid is next as promised and hinted in the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy the fun! These aren't the easiest to write so I would very much appreciate some reads and reviews. I do not own Star Trek or any of the characters so please don't sue.

The episode began with Picard talking about giving a speech at a keynote lecture then Troi walks in.

"One quick question," Q commented offscreen, "Why is she never in Starfleet regulation clothing?"

"She can wear whatever she likes." Riker replied.

"Then why couldn't I be naked?" Q complained.

"Because that's different Q."

"But why? She's showing off her girls so why can't I show off my guy."

"It's not the same Q. Now shut up before I make you."

"Don't tell me to shut up." Q muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!"

The episode continued with Troi telling Picard to relax. She leaves and Captain Picard returns to his quarters and studies an artifact. Then Vash appears and claims to have came through the window. Then seemingly out of nowhere the two kiss.

"Eww." Q commented. Beverly herself said nothing and she remained expressionless. It was unclear whether she was bothered or not.

"You're not going to say anything? He's your man after all." Q claimed to Dr. Crusher.

"His past is his past. There's no changing that." Dr. Crusher said truthfully seeming now quite unbothered.

The episode continued with the introduction. Then Picard was having tea with Vash when Dr. Crusher arrived at the door. Vash and Picard had met on Risa and Picard never mentioned her.

"Didn't that make you jealous?" Q asked.

"Nope." Dr. Crusher simply said and not another word was spoken.

Vash asks Dr. Crusher show her the ship and she walk into Ten Forward. Riker begins talking to Vash and Vash seems to know what he's about to say because of Picard's impersonations of him.

"Aren't you jealous Picard? Him trying to steal one of your many girls?" Q asked.

"Not at all. I'm no longer attracted to her."

"Yeh right. You just say that because there are two Crushers in the room."

"Q, I am not jealous."

"Whatever you say."

Riker takes over the tour and brings Vash to the bridge where she sits down on the captain's chair. Captain Picard walks in and offscreen Q raises an eyebrow.

"So she gets away with the crime of sitting in the captain's chair." Q commented.

"You better not try it too or we're going to have a problem." Picard replied.

"Whatever you say, captain."

The episode continued with Vash returning to her quarters. Then Vash and Troi talk and Vash discovers that the captain failed to mention her to anyone. Upset she goes to Captain Picard and demands answers. Picard claims for it to be inappropriate. Vash gets angry thinking Picard is embarrassed by her.

"Never very good with the ladies how mon capitane?" Q asked offscreen.

"Shut up, Q." Picard replied.

The episode continued with Picard going to the ready room where he is meet by Q. Q smiles offscreen glad to once again see himself in action. Picard asks Q why he is there and Q claims to have a life debt. Q won't leave until he has done something for Picard. Q offers to bring him to Tagus III but Picard refuses. Q gets upset about not being able to give a gift to Picard and leaves. Picard calls Riker in and tells him that Q just came.

Picard then visits Vash and Vash defends herself when Picard gets upset about her excavations. They argue and Picard goes to his quarters only to have Q appeared again. Q claims to know what the agruement was about and claims to know that Picard is being brought down by a woman. He then claims that if he had known sooner he would have appeared as a woman. Picard seems very annoyed to hear all this and tells Q to leave.

Q leaves and Picard begins his speech. Dr. Crusher and Troi find themselves in hats. Riker finds himself with a big walking stick. Data finds himself in an old robe. Picard soon finds himself as Robin Hood and then Picard and crew end up back in time in around the twelfth century according to Picard. Worf protests to being a marry man.

"Oh, I guess we found out who is not a merry man. Let's change that." Q said smiling. He turns Worf into his costume and Worf gives him "I'll rip your head off look." Q laughs and Worf punches him in the face. Q gives Worf and injured look before turning him back.

The episode continued with Data identifying the characters. Then a man comes for Picard slash Robin Hood and Worf rushes to fight him. Picard orders everyone into the forest and everyone eventually follows. The characters give up the chase on "Robin Hood" and Q shows up claiming that Vash needs to be rescued. Q refuses to end the fantasy.

Vash finds herself in the fantasy and is able to talk Sir Guy out of the execution. Meanwhile, Geordi is playing some sort of instrument. Worf goes to smash it out of annoyance.

"I can't believe you keep that brute. I mean poor tone deaf Geordi. Am I right?" Q asked.

"I don't really care anymore actually." Geordi admitted.

"You're no fun." Q claimed.

The episode continued with Troi practicing her archery. She accidently shoots Data and offscreen Q breaks out laughing. Troi looks embarrassed and frowns slightly.

"It's okay. Your aim was improving." Riker reassured just like Data in the episode.

The episode continued with Vash saying she had agreed to marry Sir Guy. Q looks completely shocked. Q tries to convince Sir Guy she's not what he wants only to fail. Picard comes to rescue Vash later only to be held back by questions. When the guards come, Vash pulls a sword on Picard and gets him arrested. Vash then tries to write a letter to the crew.

Q catches her in the act, but the crew come to the execution to save Vash and Picard. Data prepares the diversion and executes. The crew fight and Vash is taken away. Picard goes for Vash and rescues her. Q appears and takes Picard back to the Enterprise. Vash returns and tells Picard she's going with Q. Picard seems upset and makes Q promise to keep her safe. They kiss one last time and Vash the episode ends.

"You sure you're not jealous?" Q asked Dr. Crusher.

"Absolutely."

Author's Note: So how did you like it? Good? Bad? In between? Next chapter is going to be Yesterday's Enterprise unless you have any other suggestions. Don't forget to review.