Thoughts: Kiss or Kill
Disclaimer: If I owned the Mai series, then the lead characters for Otome would've been Natsuki followed by Shizuru in Destiny. I just have to say this; I don't think Arika or Mayo is very appealing in the looks department. Mayo looks like a side character that you could throw into the furnace for extra heat.
A/N: Special thanks to MysticOmega for the tips. I visualize the scenes like you do, but I forgot to use all five senses. Bleh, I blame it on my lazy mind.
-ben: dialect
Ikezu: bully
Songs: Any sad or relaxing ones would work. I like the 'Komoriuta' songs from the Otome soundtracks.
Shizuru tried to stand but her knees failed, causing her to slump back down to the grassy floor.
The younger girl ran over to her.
"Shizuru-onee-sama," her voice was like steel, "don't push yourself."
Surprise was hidden behind the mask of the older woman. "Ara, Nina, didn't I tell you to call me 'Shizuru'?" She gave the girl with midnight tresses her diplomatic smile, saying the words weakly in soft Kyoto-ben.
"It was not polite of me to call you that, Shizuru-onee-sama... I do not mind, however, if Shizuru-onee-sama continued calling me, 'Nina', though." Natsuki returned the smile; one that harbored no feelings.
"Very well then, Nina. Thank you for saving me earlier."
'Why the sudden change in attitude, Nina? Perhaps I did something to wrong you?' Shizuru thought, concern hidden in the depths of her mind.
The agent looked up into the sky.
The sun was setting, reflecting a pinkish purple hue that decorated the atmosphere with a beautiful blend. The rays of light turned their skin into a tone of orange. Nature became a mixture of cheery colors hiding the soft chirping of birds and grass hoppers. A rare scene that existed only in paintings was now reality. This was a view blessed to the ill-fated pair…
If not for the circumstances, the sight would've been romantically stunning to the pair.
Natsuki made no mention. She glanced at her watch. A little past five. It's been roughly two and a half hours.
"We should hurry back to the lake house. It doesn't seem as if they've called the authorities. Let's go," the agent said nonchalantly; gaze still fixed on the aqua sports-watch. It was simple but entrancing.
The seconds were ticking…no, flashing away, careless and ignorant of all events on Earth. Even if humanity were to be wiped out, time would never cease its perpetual progression.
Shizuru nodded but made no progress to stand up. She waited for 'Nina' to protrude her hand.
Prolonged silence caused the agent to break away from the mesmerizing numbers. Head swerved, chocolate delved into cherry searching for a reason.
Natsuki gave Shizuru her hand. Politely taking it, Shizuru tried her best to arise without directing too much force on her aid. She failed, slumping back down.
No exchange was made, though crimson showed a hint of shame.
The body before her bent down and took the black jacket. She draped it over her shoulders.
Then, in a quick swift motion, the agent swept her off her feet.
The thought of being carried off bridal style towards the horse made Shizuru secretly blush. The situation was similar to a fairytale. The knightly prince would save the damsel in distress, carrying the princess back to his mighty steed and ultimately to safety.
'Then, they would marry, living happily ever after…' Shizuru shook her thoughts.
'No…what I am thinking? There are no such things as happy endings, silly.'
The blue-haired teen placed the older girl onto the back of the brown and white beast. Untying the knotted reins on the tree, she jumped on behind Shizuru with excelled grace; not even an atom of her skin touched the honey-haired girl's body.
"Nina?" Shizuru questioned, trying to swing one leg to the other side of the horse to get into riding position. Again, she failed; all energy had left her body.
"Onee-sama, don't push yourself." Natsuki stated flatly. "I'll ride us to the lake."
"But Nina doesn't know how to ride yet," another practiced smile formed on her lips.
"I saw the steps Onee-sama had taken early to get the horse moving. I'm sure that I can ride the short distance to our destination." Irritation leaked out of the agent's flat voice. Shizuru caught it with a net and slightly relaxed.
'If she's irritated, then whatever I did couldn't have been that bad,' Shizuru thought.
"Meanwhile," Natsuki coughed a bit to clear her throat, "try not to fall off."
"Mou… Nina, ikezu. Unlike Nina, I have plenty of experience," a playful smirk drew on her lips as she added a little pout, "but with no leverage, I'll surely fall off."
'Will my prince save me for the second time?' The honey-haired girl inwardly laughed at her own idea; she was a hopeless romantic.
This woman is pushing her luck.
"Fine, Shizuru-onee-sama, please feel free to lean on me during the ride," Natsuki took off the brown shoulder bag and grabbed the jacket that was slung over her other shoulder, "in exchange, hold onto these items for me."
"Gladly," the crimsoned orbed woman put on the jacket and strapped the bag over her shoulder.
'Smells like green apples…,'Shizuru mused, trying to lock this smell in her memory for future reference. She leaned her side onto Natsuki's front, head resting on her shoulder.
Without flinching or blushing, Natsuki pulled on the reins, signaling the horse to move; he willingly obeyed. The scent of jasmine tea wafted to the agent's nose.
Looks like the most I'll get out of the beast is a trot…but, Natsuki stole a glance at her 'elder sister'. It's not as if she's in any condition to take on a canter either. She sighed.
After a couple minutes into the ride, eyelids felt as heavy as bowling balls. Shizuru blinked a couple times trying to keep awake but to no avail. It didn't help that the surface she was laying on was very comfortable either—the cold aura was a façade; the younger girl's body was still filled with miniscule warmth.
x – x – x – x
A single voice echoed as the pair made way to the lake that was now in view. Shizuru awoke from the noise.
"Let me go! Shizuru-onee-sama has not come back yet!" Tomoe screamed while struggling against the grip of the two maids. "At least call the police!"
"Tomoe-chan, calm down. You know what happened the last time we've tried that." Yukino was in full control of the situation. She readjusted her glasses.
"The tabloids printed the event all over the newspapers for a month," Erstin sighed.
They were all equally worried—more for Shizuru than 'Nina', but nonetheless worried for the pair.
"Nina-san will surely bring Shizuru-onee-sama back," Yukino reassured the Tomoe that was still screaming and kicking for freedom. The maids held onto the raging girl, barely holding her back.
"We've waited for three hours, and we barely know the woman for Christ sakes!"
"Even though, I may not know Nina-onee-sama that well… she seems like a dutiful person," Erstin tried to pacify her green haired sister.
"I thank you for thinking of me in such high regards Erstin-san."
Natsuki had been listening to the conversation, rather she liked it or not. Tomoe's voice was a few decibels too high. She inwardly scoffed; Shizuru was amused by the situation.
Heads turned to the source and saw the riders a few feet away.
"Shizuru-onee-sama!" Tomoe cried happily, breaking free of her restraints and ran over to the horse.
"Are you alright?" The three sisters asked in concern at the same time.
"Ara, I feel perhaps a bit sleepy, but other than that, ookini, I am fine." Shizuru smiled warmly at the three.
"Did 'that' happen on the way here, Shizuru-onee-sama?" Yukino questioned.
…'that' as in fainting?
"Yes, but Nina saved me." Red eyes flashed a look of thankfulness at 'Nina', who only quickly turned her head away towards the lake.
Beautiful scenery unfolded. The sky was now close to a sea blue, giving the moon access to reflect its image upon the lake. The lake in return, reflected moon light to its surroundings, illuminating the distant shadow of a mountain, the trees, and the lake house located about fifteen feet away.
"Thank you, Nina-onee-sama…" The blonde girl fully voiced out with a sweet smile. Erstin was glad her faith in her new sister had not been in vain. 'Thank you so much, Nina-onee-sama…thank you oh so much,'Erstin thought.
Natsuki turned her head in hidden surprise, eyes widening ever so slightly. Rarely do people thank her for a deed, but today there were two.
"Yes, thank you. Without Nina-san we would've been in huge trouble," Yukino bowed.
…three
"Nina-onee-sama, I would also like to thank you," Tomoe followed the lead of her sisters. Being left out was not an option.
…and a forced four.
The agent's mood brightened up by a microscopic fraction. "It was my duty; there is no need for thanks." There is no reason to feel happy for following my duty. No, but…
"Ara, Nina isn't very truthful," Shizuru winked at her; 'Nina' looked away once again.
The rest of the sisters were astonished by the playful attitude of the eldest sister.
'Something must've happened,' Tomoe thought, gritting her teeth.
"Well, should we rest in the house tonight?" Tomoe suggested, mainly towards her elder sister, Shizuru.
"But are you not hungry? I suppose none of you ate anything yet," Shizuru remarked; her strength mostly regained, though a bit hungry herself.
Yukino and Erstin blushed. Now that they think about it, the two only ate breakfast. All the sisters have successfully skipped lunch. It was the last call for dinner.
"The preparations for the barbeque are ready. We should all eat—especially Shizuru-onee-sama to regain her energy." Yukino took some of the maids over to the grill.
"It's more fun under the moonlight, anyways," Erstin gave another smile. The blonde girl was ever so sweetly polite.
"Then it's decided then." Tomoe ordered the rest of the maids to help the pair off their horse.
x – x – x – x
The barbeque was fantastic. Even the few maids that went with them to this trip were allowed to participate. Everyone was merry and cheerful; it was truly a great idea to eat under the moonlight. The moon acted as the major light source therefore the wooden bench table only needed a couple candles—not to mention the food was scrumptious. Of course, this description seemed a bit too happy for a certain someone.
In the meantime of the whole event, our heroine seldom talked. Even as her 'siblings' tried to start a couple of conversations, 'Nina' would just of swat them away. The raven-haired girl was suffering from a headache caused by over-thinking. Her eyes also threatened to melt away from the smoke. All of it just blew towards her and no one else; it aggravated the agent even more. She had to scoot to another location that was further away from the group, but silence was what she needed.
Leaning against a tree, Natsuki was struggling with her thoughts from earlier. Idly picking on the bits of gritty tree bark, she replayed the events of today in her mind. At first, it was okay. Then, things went downhill ultimately climaxing at the fainting spell her 'elder sister' suffered. A part of her thoughts then trailed to the unknown voice, ending to the promise she made to herself. She wanted to turn around and punch the tree to release her frustration, yet she knew her actions would only raise suspicion.
Now, inside the house and her own personal room, she was suffering insomnia.
Thinking can be considered a curse.
She sighed. Natsuki lifted her hand as if trying to grasp the ceiling. She stared at it, unable to sleep. A particular feeling was still nagging and poking her. The young girl closed her eyes and tossed around in bed for a few minutes. Chocolate orbs fluttered open again. She knew if she wanted any sleep she would have to finish her thought from earlier.
Happiness. I believe the known definition is the emotions experienced when in the state of well-being. But what does that mean? What kind of emotions does one feel when they're happy?
Happiness…What does it feel like? Does it sway my inability to make decisions?
… Today… Did I feel happy? Did I perhaps felt joy in following my duty? Something so trivial like a 'thank you' is able to trigger such an emotion?
… But am I not allowed to? As long as 'that' emotion from earlier today is sealed away, then it should not matter. Happiness… was different from what I felt when I was with her… That, I am sure.
Yet what is happiness? To many people, the answer may be different… but to me?
…
Was I happy because of my 'family'?
Was I happy from the thanks I've received for following my duty?
The antipode of happiness… is sadness. Just like light cannot exist without darkness, happiness cannot survive without sadness. So… is happiness a lie covering the true sadness one feels?
Natsuki heaved another sigh and massaged her temples. The questions only made her headache worst. Sitting up to stretch, she yawned and plopped back onto the mattress.
Keh, since when did I ask myself so many questions? What I feel during this mission should not matter. Things will end quickly as always. I'll be out of this life before they know it.
But… considering my actions today, acting stoic only makes the situation worse.
If I truly consider this… then these emotions that I felt are because I am 'Nina Wang'.
All these actions are also only a mere reflection of how 'Nina Wang' would act.
The young girl with midnight tresses closed her eyes and stated in her head. She recited the sentences like a pledge.
I am disguised as Nina Wang…
No, I will become a daughter of Sergey Viola…
The agent made up her mind. All actions are to be considered for and only for the mission. She'll do anything for the role of a true Viola daughter.
Still, I have to watch out for that woman…
Issue temporarily settled; the girl finally fell asleep, waving a 'happy' goodbye to insomnia.
A/N: Wow, this chapter took me quite some time. I had to adapt to Agent Natsuki again after writing Red Ribbon. Agent Natsuki is more of a confused but straight forward being. Some emotions are foreign to her, but she's not afraid of taking her time to process such thoughts. Natsuki in Mai-HiME would've ran away from thinking of such things. That is the main difference, I suppose. Agent Natsuki is also more composed and mature for her age than the Natsuki in Mai-HiME. You could say I'm going for the Otome version of her.
So as a prize, tell me your thoughts. I'll respond to each and every one. These are also treats for my pain. –glances at the clock- It's 3:30AM XD. I started this chapter around 7:00PM.
Haha, some of you actually mentioned Natsuki as a knight right after I wrote this and checked my reviews. O.o; I guess fans think alike.
Now featuring!
Mayo-filled dark chocolate! For reviewers! This new creation will send your soul from the depths of hell to the world of the living! Yes, this little –cough- poisonous –cough- delicious treat can raise the dead!
Stay tune! And keep on guessing!
Red Ribbon is done with 45 pages, taking only three days. That makes me happy…I guess. I realized how hard it was to end it the way I had originally planned. Instead of pure fluff, I added conflict and maybe a bit of angst? Everything I write turns out to be a mixed genre of sorts.