EDIT: Rewrite as of 2011.

I apologize for the severe lack of updates, but there simply was so much to do… anyway, this chapter was turning out very slow, because Misa is, after all, still in love with Light in a way, so transforming her within the span of a few thousand words isn't something easily done. So here we go, trying to do something lie that. In a way.

o.O.o

Legally Running

o.O.o

Her first instinct was to vomit.

Then to scream. And to cry. The last of those, she wasn't able to hold.

Misa-Misa never cried; she offered childish pouts and a trembling upper lip, but that was the extent of her sadness. She was always supposed to be pretty and happy. That was her mantra. Pretty and happy. Misa-Misa was a happy-go-lucky girl with not a care in the world…

…but Amane Misa wasn't bound by such conventions, least of all when locked in a bathroom in an expensive hotel, far away from prying eyes. There were instances when one simply had to let go and release all her inner demons; this was one.

After a few minutes of silent sobs, she shook herself, trying to gain some composure. The final effect of her best efforts was an expression akin to a Stepford wife on the verge of overload; meaning that she still couldn't pull off anything even close to convincing.

The worst thing was, she was painfully aware that she had made a scene that wasn't likely to go unnoticed by either of those whose identities she had just discovered. Once she had calmed down enough to think coherently, she wanted to slap herself for her stupidity.

Stupid Misa, what a joke she was to them both, she thought miserably. All this time, she had thought that she only needed to prove herself and then everything would fall into place.

Apparently not.

Apparently, the only reason why Ryuu- L, she reminded herself, repeating the hated letter in her mind; never Ryuuga-san again. Only L – intended to exploit her connection to Light, because there was absolutely no other reason for him to stick around and befriend her. Pretend to befriend her.

And she had actually believed that someone liked her not because of Misa-Misa, but because of her private self… another silly, ridiculous assumption.

As for Light… at a happier time, she would have gleefully and gladly believed that he wanted to keep her out of harm's way by breaking up with her, but the fact that he had brought another girl into the picture and proposed to her was something that prevented her from rejoicing at the prospect. Still, she hoped… but somehow, she was beginning to think that both Light and Ryuuga – Kira and L – had begun to see her as a connection between the two of them that could be exploited as a strategic advantage.

After all, she'd never be smart enough to figure something like this out… right?

"Misa… forgive me." a sepulchral voice echoed from somewhere above her. The blonde wiped away the stains of tears, ruining her make-up in the process, but she didn't care.

"Rem has nothing to apologize for!" she said with certainty, shaking her head fervently. She still had enough presence of mind not to blame the shinigami for her own folly. "Rem is a great friend to Misa and wanted to protect her. Misa was just…" Again, the tears came, without any answers. "Why does it have to be like this?"

She had sacrificed half of her life, she realized in a moment of panic... for nothing. Only pain.

"I don't know, Misa."

It was a difficult admission for Rem, though she didn't know precisely which situation she was referring to. The model was usually perky to the point of ridiculousness, but she possessed positive traits to equal the negative ones. Neither of the two humans she cared for that had inadvertently betrayed her by being on different sides of the chessboard were in any way her match, but the shinigami doubted her partner would see it that way.

"Misa… if it will make you feel better, I can kill them… both of them. Neither will even realize it."

At least she tried. But Misa's eyes immediately bulged and her pigtails shook in passionate denial. "NO! No, Rem can't do that! That's-!"

"Talking to yourself?" Misa quickly swallowed her words when she finally understood that the door to the bathroom had opened and closed, allowing the somberly-clad figure of Takada Kiyomi entrance. The girl folded her arms, her eyebrows knitting together in amusement. "I thought you were only having a diva moment; yet here you are, displaying all the signs of hysteria or a beginning mental illness."

"Go away Kiyomi; I'm not in the mood for this." Misa hiccupped, thanking her lucky stars that her rival hadn't heard most of her conversation. She had absolutely no need to be written off as a nutcase now. Though admittedly, she might be turning into one.

"And she speaks in first person." Takada announced to the world in general. "Lo and behold. Are you planning on moping around here for much longer? I was asked to see if you're all right, but that's obviously not the case."

"Misa… Misa will be fine. Misa just needs a few minutes to readjust her make-up." the blonde made up wildly, putting on a brief and unconvincing smile. "Then everything will be ok."

Takada sighed. If she didn't make sure, she'd be the one who'd get chewed upon. "Look, not that I care, but what are you getting hysterical for?"

Misa thought for a moment, considering things. She didn't like Takada in any way; the girl had been mean and discourteous to her, giving her no indication of feeling differently towards her over these past few months. However, she was also smarter than Misa in terms of book-smarts, which, being a different point of view, might be helpful now.

"Kiyomi… have you ever thought that there might be something bigger than you, that you never saw before it was… right in your face?"

"What do you think the whole Kira case is about?" Takada asked flatly, "This is about the fate of the world, melodramatic as that might sound. If you don't understand that, you don't have any business being here."

"But you support Kira… why are you here?" At least Misa paid attention to what the various clubs and societies at university talked about – this being one thing.

"Because I was chosen… and because I want to be here." Takada said, her chest puffing out a bit. "Make a difference. The better question is, why are you here?" she folded her arms around her willowy frame, raising a dark eyebrow. "Never mind not knowing what possessed L to pick you; you don't have any reason for being here."

"Misa thinks… I think I do." the blonde muttered darkly, rising to her feet like a doll compelled to move.

Takada was somewhat perplexed; as if with the push of a button, Amane had flipped from fragile flower to a kind of mindless but determined zombie. She got up and surveyed the damage her face had sustained – black mascara was streaming down her cheeks and her eyeshadow was beyond hope. Taking some toilet paper from the nearest stall, Misa wet it in the sink and proceeded to rub the professional-looking paints from her face.

Without the make-up, her small frame added to the impression that Misa was sixteen at most. Her clothes, elegant before, now looked frumpy and unsuitable for her, along with the severe hairstyle. And then, as if a light had been turned on, Misa put on an almost frighteningly cool smile – the almost hysterical gleam in her eyes made even the calm Takada almost step back – and calmly bounced back to the investigation team meeting room.

Rem floated behind her, watching the girl with some mild concern, followed by a thoroughly stunned Takada.

The others had apparently gone over most of the major issues in her absence and Misa received only a few annoyed or slightly studious looks when she returned, wearing an expression that suggested that the world was all sunshine and unicorns and that currently, she wanted nothing more than to shoot all the unicorns and put on dark glasses to tune out the sunlight.

The last part, very few noticed. Smiling when she wanted nothing more than killing someone with strawberry cheesecake was more difficult than she had anticipated, but Misa managed.

"Misa-san, are you sure you're all right? Perhaps it would be better if you left for the day."

That Matsuda, he really seemed to be a fan. Of course, she was well aware that she had probably seemed more than a little hysterical to all of them. So what. It wasn't as if any of them really cared about her 'professional' opinions, right? She was here only to provide amusement and smile pretty and make them wonder what she meant to the other.

For the first time in her life, Misa fleetingly wished death on someone. Remembering that she herself could bring it now scared her, but the fear passed through her only briefly. At least Light had merely cut her out of his life.

And he had broken her heart.

Was it to protect her? Or was she a liability to his work? Would he have ever let her know?

Had he been Kira even then? If not, why did he hurt her so?

Had he ever loved her? Did he love her now?

Why the pretense? Lying to her face and pretending that they were actually friends—

She abruptly stopped there. Misa-Misa was never upset. Pretty and happy and coy. Good pet. Nice girl. Who cared about Amane Misa, right?

"I'm all right now." Misa-Misa said, smiling and briefly closing her eyes in that motion. She saw the searing red light of the names and numbers above their heads even so. the images were almost burned into her brain now. "It was just the pressure coming down on me, I guess."

The young officer relaxed briefly, coping with the situation with a little lame joke. "For one moment, we were worried Kira had chosen you as a victim."

Neither Light nor L even flinched at that, not that she was watching either of them. Takada scoffed slightly, but otherwise ignored all that.

Above Misa, Rem frowned. Would she use her Death Note now? The easiest way to solve Misa's anguish was to kill everyone in the room, but Misa wouldn't forgive her something like that. besides, her being the only survivor would only single her out as Kira.

"Ha ha, yes… that would be interesting, wouldn't it?"

Though admittedly, she certainly had the skill at lying to everyone to be able to pull that off.

o.O.o

The first place Misa went to after leaving the investigation team was the university library.

Rem went along with her, but Misa asked her not to help with the research she currently wanted to do. The shinigami agreed, but remained adrift around the great corridors and halls, ready to come to Misa's aid, if necessary.

It wasn't, really. Misa wasn't concerned with such things right now anyway. She was busy rummaging through various books about criminal law, philosophy and general ethics. She didn't even know where to start.

Actually, she did. It was in a dictionary under the keywords 'utopia' and 'dystopia'.

Some of the language still didn't make sense to her, but she continued reading it all stubbornly, trying to find something similar to her situation, to the Kira case.

Rem had already suggested taking away her Death Note and, in all honesty, Misa had considered it – walking away. But…

She loved Light. She could help him triumph. He was now more than just her love – he was her hero. The one who brought justice to those who had been set free by the unjust justice of the world.

But she wanted to be with Ryuuga. She didn't want him to be L. She wanted to believe that he had spent these months with her simply because he liked her – because he was a weird but devoted fan. Not a detective plotting her use.

She could still walk away…

The stalemate wouldn't last forever. Sooner or later, one of them would kill or arrest the other. They were both smart, much smarter than her, but even a genius could make a stupid mistake. Just like a ditz like her could stumble across the truth.

It had cost her half her lifespan, but Misa had accepted that. In any case, she reasoned that if the shinigami who had died for her sake now existed as part of her lifespan, her life probably still was longer than that of an average human being. She liked to think that way.

Was Kira a human being, a god, a savior? Did anyone have the right to exercise absolute power?

Who has power has right. Misa agreed with Machiavelli on this once she stumbled across his philosophy. After all, unjust people used their power to escape justice.

I am justice.

She had the power of Kira as well now… did that make her a god?

"Amane-san… what are you doing?"

Above her, stepping over the pile of books she had taken out, was Misora Naomi, still a college lecturer and former FBI agent and one of the people in which Misa really didn't trust right now.

"Oh, good day, Misora-sensei. Just doing some research on the current project." she said, trying to sound blithe. But her frustration was leaking through the mask of serenity and perkiness and Misora saw it.

"Ah. No details allowed, then. I understand. But you look very much down." There was something frantic about the image of Amane, who no doubt dressed like this only to go to funerals, digging through books with a fierce energy in her gaze. "Is something the matter?"

The model gave a somewhat undignified sigh. "I… I think I'm not the best person to be doing this, Misora-sensei. This… this can't be solved, it just can't!" With that, she tossed the latest book over her shoulder in frustration. It landed on one of the many piles behind her.

"What are you talking about? Have you received instructions beyond your authorization?" Misora's voice was sharp and held the beginnings of an interrogation. She actually knew very little about what L was planning to do with these kids, but she knew that Amane was somehow a crucial part of the process. Her having come to the university like this was no coincidence. In fact, Misora was almost certain that the model had some sort of connection to Kira. "Perhaps I could help somehow – I don't have access to the investigation in any way, but I could at least advise you, if you wish it."

"I'm not sure how much I can say…"

Now if only it was so easy to coax it out of her… of course, it was possible that Amane herself knew nothing.

"There isn't anyone here at this hour, but it would be advisable to not use specific names and terms. Try to be broad." The ex-FBI agent suggested, pulling up a seat.

Misa wasn't entirely certain about this, but… well, she couldn't exactly confide in anyone but her sister, who was away from Tokyo. Rem wouldn't understand human emotions this well and as long as she used discretion…

"All right. I think… I think I might have figured out something related to the investigation. The information could help some people, but… hurt… others. Very." she emphasized, backtracking through her own sentences to see if she hadn't revealed much.

Misora frowned. "Do you have any evidence regarding your discovery, or is it simply a theory?"

"I guess… a theory. B-but now that I… see it, making connections might be quicker, because I know where to look." It was so obvious to her, though obviously Misora would never understand her emphasis on those few particular words. Or, if she did, she would never make the connection.

After all, what connection was there to make? No one apart from her and perhaps Light knew about the shinigami eyes.

"I see. Can this theory implicate you in any way?"

"W-what?"

"You understand that if you possess any information relevant to the case and it is traced back to you – along with the fact that you didn't share it with him when you should have, the probability of you being a suspect might rise a notch." Misora explained calmly, studying the model for a moment. "Although in your case, it might be a risk worth taking."

"You are saying Misa isn't smart enough to be Kira." Before Misora could respond in any way, the blonde smiled just a bit stiffly. "That's fine. Anyone would assume that, I guess."

"Quite the contrary, Amane-san. In the last few months, your performance has been more than up to standard for this university. In all honesty, I believe you could be Kira. Theoretically."

Misa blinked, eying her as if she had dropped out of the sky in front of her. "Y-you do?"

"Of course." Misora nodded without any kind of surprise at this reaction. "Any of those chosen for the investigation could be, as you all have your respective strengths that make you possible candidates. With you, it is obfuscation."

"Eh?" Misa was still a bit distracted by the revelation that Misora-sensei apparently didn't think her silly.

"Your acting skills." Misora emphasized without patronizing. "The change in your academic record isn't what most people would expect judging by your profession and apparent personality. Of course, this could be partly based on determination."

"I see."

"You haven't told me much at all, Amane-san, but I think I can piece things together." Misora noted. Apparently, her own hypothesis that all this was being done to corner the true Kira in some way was proving to be true. But what had given Amane the basis for the theory she had – and why couldn't she prove it if something had triggered this reaction? "Without knowing the details, I can't effectively advise you, but…if you see a definite link between Kira and the person you suspect, follow it."

"But… for all that might be wrong with this, Kira has helped people very much. If this person proves to be Kira and I expose them, then everything will be back to the way it was – bad people will be allowed to walk free when justice decides to let them."

Misora stood up, giving the model a hard look. "Amane-san, forgive me for putting this so bluntly, but can you still say that after having been given the chance to speak with L?"

Though even the detective wasn't all-powerful, he was, in many ways, similar to Kira. going around the law in some cases only to make certain that it was followed on the long run. Doing what was necessary… but also never committing atrocities such as Kira was doing. The difference between the two wasn't that L respected a human life while Kira considered it merely a record of deeds.

It was that L never forgot that it took a human to correct humanity, not a self-styled god. Someone who rose too high above the problem couldn't be trusted to find the solution.

Misa didn't answer at first. Until Naomi was gone, she actually held her silence. She imagined those past few months. She now knew how the lambs felt when the wolf tossed aside its sheepskin. At first, she did.

"Oh yes I can." she whispered quietly to herself.

By the time Rem returned, the piles of books were gone – unnecessary baggage – and Misa had decided.