METROID: con-FUSION
By tikitikirevenge.
Disclaimer: Metroid and all related names and characters are the property of Nintendo. This is because, in reality, Nintendo is a front for the evil Space Pirates who hope to lessen our reasoning capabilities by creating games which force us to neglect our better judgement. We must stop them now! You know how… it's in the ice cooler…
Pointless Interlude
"So there's this chicken," said Draygon as they walked.
"Chicken?" said Kraid.
"You know, a bird? Poultry?"
"Oh, chicken," said Kraid.
"So there's this chicken," said Draygon, "and it-"
"It's a normal chicken?" interrupted Kraid.
"Well, I guess," shrugged Draygon, "but anyway, the chicken is in the city and he…"
"He?"
"I don't know. Can't a chicken be a he? Okay, it's a she," said Draygon. "So anyway, he-"
"-she."
"She is in the city and she starts to cross the road."
"Wait," said Kraid, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"I don't know," said Draygon raising her arms in surrender. "To get to the other side?"
"Sounds right," said Kraid.
"So there's this chicken, and she crosses the road," said Draygon, "but then she nearly gets hit by a car."
"What kind of car?"
"Oh, a big, ugly one. So the driver gets out…"
"Why would the driver get out?"
"I'm getting to that. The driver gets out, and then he turns out to be Adam Malkovitch."
"Who's that?" said Kraid.
"I don't know," said Draygon, "but apparently it's a joke."
"Oh, a joke," said Kraid.
He paused in thought.
"I don't get it."
"Well, let's try that again, then," said Draygon. "These things are funnier the second time round."
"Right," said Kraid. "Chicken, female, in city. Road, crossed. Car appears, driver gets out. Driver is Adam Slavich or whatever. What's so funny?"
"I'm not sure," said Draygon. "It was really funny when I first heard it."
"Maybe it was contextual," said Kraid.
"Maybe I wasn't drunk," said Draygon. "Things are always so strange when you're sober."
As Kraid and Draygon walked, Samus Aran suddenly appeared in front of them from a hole in the ground.
"Hey, look, it's Samus," said Draygon.
"Samus! High five!" said Kraid.
Far below, Samus looked at the Geemer.
"I feel a sudden urge to kill," Samus noted.
"Well, now that you have Morph Ball Bombs," said the Geemer, "you should be able to have fun."
Samus rolled into the Morph Ball and started dropping bombs at Kraid's feet.
The explosions were tiny considering Kraid's size. "Ha! Nice try!" he exclaimed.
Kraid caught on fire.
"Ow," he said.
"That must hurt," said Draygon.
"Well, I'll be off then," said Samus. She left.
"I daresay that this was completely irrelevant," said Kraid.
Life went on.
Insert cliff-hanger here.