Edward sighed, walking into the living room half dressed. As much as he knew it was important, he didn't feel like going to the doctor today. Maybe he was being lazy, but…it just seemed like so much effort.

Still, at least he had a celebratory dinner (since this was the end of his first trimester) to look forward to later.

Ed wandered into the kitchen, mumbling a greeting at Roy, and grabbed some toast from the counter. He made a mental note to thank the man for breakfast, once he was more awake.

Leaning against the wall (he would never wake up if he sat down), Edward munched away, slowly becoming aware that Roy was watching him. He looked up, raising his eyebrows, and was met with a wide smile.

"What?" he asked. While this attention wasn't exactly uncalled for, it was unexpected, and maybe a little weird.

"You're showing," Roy answered simply. "Just barely, but I can see a little bump."

Edward looked down at his bare chest, placing a hand as he so often did now on his stomach. "Hmm…"

"What? Aren't you happy?"

"Yeah," Ed responded thoughtfully. "I mean, a part of me is. This is amazing…that I can see it now, my baby growing. But…it's not going to be long before my bump gets hard to hide."

Roy put down the bowl he had been scrubbing and walked over to Edward, placing a hand on his shoulder. "So you'll have to tell everyone. It's not that big a deal."

Ed rolled his eyes. "Easy for you to say."

The man didn't bother responding to that comment, instead glancing at the clock. "You'd better put a shirt on, we have to get going."

Nodding, Edward walked back to his room, finishing his toast on the way. "Al," he called out as he passed the bathroom. "We're leaving soon."

"Okay!"

Ed continued to his bedroom and threw on the first shirt he saw. Huffing, he sat on his bed, retrieving his boots and pulling them on. Easy enough.

He joined Alphonse in the hallway and they both made their way to the front door, where Roy was waiting.

"Hello, Ed, how are you doing today?"

"Tired," Edward sighed, pulling himself onto the examination table as Roy and Al sat in the extra chairs the office provided.

Ted laughed. "In that case, I'll try to make this quick. If you could just take off your shirt…"

Ed did so, sitting it onto the table next to him. Ted stood and walked over to him, placing a hand on his stomach. "Sorry," the doctor apologized. "This might feel a little invasive, but I have to make sure everything feels normal."

"It's cool," Edward responded. He had to admit, it did feel a little strange—no one ever touched his stomach—but it wasn't distressing. After all, Ed was eventually going to have to get used to this; as he continued to grow, he just knew Alphonse was going to be all over him.

"Alright, everything feels fine."

"It's not too early?" Ed asked. "I didn't think people were supposed to show this soon."

"Well," Ted answered, "that varies depending upon the person. Some women begin to see a bump as early as eight or ten weeks, some don't show until much later in their pregnancy. You're just on the early side, as you have been with pretty much everything; that's good, though. At least you're consistent. Besides, you can tell you have a bump, but with a shirt on it isn't evident at all."

Edward nodded, content with this response.

"Now," the doctor continued. "Have you felt any unusual pain? Intense cramping, perhaps? Or have you experienced any bleeding?"

"Nope."

"Excellent. No pain in your lower back?"

Ed shook his head, glad to report that he was doing fine—and so, presumably, was his baby.

"Does it ever hurt to move? Or is there a certain position you don't find comfortable?"

Again, he shook his head.

Ted nodded, smiling softly. "That's good. Now, don't worry if your back does start to hurt, or if something begins to be uncomfortable; that can happen and doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong. I just have to ask, because if you do feel anything like that, we need to check it out."

"Sounds good." Edward bit his lip. "Hey, Ted, I do have one question."

"Go ahead."

Oh, this was just…awkward. "How…how am I supposed to give birth?"

He watched as Alphonse gaped, and Roy's eyebrows inched upward. It was something Ed had just thought about recently, and apparently the idea hadn't crossed their minds yet either.

"You're probably not going to want to hear this…" Ted began. "But the baby is going to have to be born just like any other baby; coming out the same way it went in."

Edward felt his face growing red even as he fought to swallow. He'd been afraid of that. And now he had another question—fuck, he didn't want to ask this in front of Roy and Al, but… "How the hell is that supposed to happen? I can't—there's no way a baby is going to—"

"Yes," Ted mused. "The anus is much less well adapted to birthing than a vagina…" Oh, and Ed thought he had been blushing before. "But there are ways to overcome this."

"Uhm, Brother?" Al interrupted. "I think I'm going to wait for you outside…quite honestly, I don't want to hear this."

Edward couldn't blame his brother. If he could leave, he would. "Okay, Al." He found his gaze sliding over to Roy—honestly, could there be anything less attractive than discussing how you're going to squeeze a baby out of your ass? No, Ed didn't think he wanted the man to hear this, and gave him a look that said so quite plainly.

"Oh no," Roy stated, his own stare challenging. "I'm not leaving."

Ed looked to the doctor. "Ted? Can I force him to get out of here?"

Ted rubbed a hand against his chin thoughtfully. "Well…technically you are underage, and he has been acting as a guardian of sorts throughout his…I don't think so."

Roy grinned dubiously, leaning back in his seat in victory.

"But it's embarrassing," Edward whined.

The man's expression turned serious. "Look, Ed, I'm just trying to make sure everything goes smoothly. Yeah, I get it, this is awkward, but I'm not going to shove it in your face or anything. I'm trying to make this easier on you, not harder."

Sighing, Ed gave in. "Fine. What am I supposed to do?"

"Stretching." Ted answered simply. "I was going to tell you this at your next appointment, but now is fine too. You're going to have to practice stretching your anus."

To be honest, Edward had heard of worse ideas—that wasn't something he was necessarily, ahem, unaccustomed to—but to say it in front of Roy… "Okay, fine," he muttered, trying to get this over with as quickly as possible. "I can do that."

"At first, yes," the doctor conceded. "But eventually, as you stretch yourself further, you're going to need to have someone else help. One, because the angle you would have to be at to do it yourself will become harder to achieve as you grow, and two because you will not be able to—and I'm sorry, I'll have to put this bluntly—reach as far, or push something in as far, as someone else would."

Edward almost wanted to die right about then. He was fairly sure he'd never been this flushed before. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm sorry, but I'm not. Of course, we have staff who could do this for you, if you don't have anyone else you'd prefer…"

Oh, it took all Ed's willpower not to glance at Roy. He could feel the man's gaze boring into him, but no, he wasn't going to meet his eyes. He was terrified that if he did so, his answer would be written all over his face: that he wouldn't particularly mind if Roy shoved something up his ass…

Edward had to cover his face in his hands to try to avoid that mental picture, or at least to avoid anyone seeing the expression it caused.

There was a tense moment of silence in the room. "Is that all?" Ed whispered, head still in hand.

"One more thing," Ted said apologetically. "There is a particular kind of pillow—called a doughnut cushion—that I would like you to sit on whenever possible. It is used for injuries to the tailbone, and relaxes the surrounding muscles, so it should help a little with the stretching. I think I might have one in the back…let me check."

And with that the doctor departed, leaving Ed and Roy alone in his office. Edward was silent, not trusting himself to say anything. What could you possibly say?

For once, the man was mercifully silent.

Ted came back in a minute later, holding a bright blue, circular pillow with a hole in the middle. Edward looked at it with slight distaste, taking it when it was handed to him.

"There you go," the doctor murmured. "That should do it. I know you don't want to hear anymore, but I have to tell you: for now, you can stick to stretching yourself, with your fingers. Please don't use any unorthodox tools—you don't want to get an infection."

Ed nodded, pleading with his eyes to be released. Ted conceded. "You can leave."

Edward jumped down, pulling his shirt on and half running from the room with surprising speed.

When he reached the car, he pulled over the front passenger door—couldn't manage to say anything to Al—and after a moment's consideration, tossed the pillow onto the seat before clambering in.

Letting out a surprised sound, Ed leaned his head back. This was actually quite comfortable. He closed his eyes, and heard the driver's side open up.

"You know, one good thing about all this…" Roy started. "Is that the pillow makes you look taller."

Edward opened his eyes just long enough to smack the man's arm.

A big thank you to Saia-chan, who gave me a lot of ideas included in this chapter. I think, with her suggestions, this story is going to be even better than I had originally planned, so thank you so much! :)