Dissecting the Mind

I stare down at the soupy peas on my lunch tray. Less than two hours ago, I heard the verdict from Strange on what my change in therapy techniques would consist of. You should've expected something like this you know. I expected something bad, drastic even. But this. This was just inhumane.

Therapy started as it usually did, with seemingly automatic questioning about my daily routine. Nothing he actually cared about. I knew today was the day Strange would finally tell me about my change in therapy though. I was trying to remain as calm as possible in his presence. He would undoubtedly pick up on any nervous ticks I let show. After the normal questions today, he didn't move on. Instead, he put his pad and paper down and looked me squarely in the eyes.

"Well Violet, I promised you that I would tell you what I had decided to do in terms of changing your treatment today." Another pause. I didn't know if he was waiting for me to speak, but considering how on edge I already was, I didn't trust myself to open my mouth. He continued, almost reluctantly, "Seeing as how your current medications seem to be having little to no effect on your psychosis, I've decided to take a somewhat different approach. It is for your own good after all."

Strange stood from his desk. I stiffened immediately, but I tried my hardest not to let my fear show. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. He walked slowly, deliberately, around to the front of his desk so that he was around an arm's length away. He perched on the end of his mahogany desk in a faux casual position trying to look grave, but being this close to him allowed me to see the gleam of excitement dancing in his eyes. "Violet, I don't want to worry you with the specifics, but I believe, in your case, that a minor surgery would help you more than any medications I could prescribe. I have scheduled it for tomorrow. I feel that it is better to get it out of the way sooner rather than later, in your case."

My throat felt like it was closing in on itself. Even sitting in the lunchroom right now, I could remember how dry my mouth went as soon as the word surgery was uttered. Minor surgery my ass. Nonetheless, I had pressed him for more specific details. "What kind of surgery?" I was surprised I could even form coherent speech at that point.

I swear it looked like he was trying to hold back a smirk at my tone. "Nothing life threatening. Like I said, I don't want to trouble you with the specifics, but rest assured, this surgery will help you immensely in your therapy sessions with myself." He stood fluidly from his desk. This was all just a big show for him. He's just as crazy as every single inmate in this place; there was no doubt about it. I certainly didn't need the voice in my head to tell me that.

My mind was shifting through a million different questions at once. I wanted to seem like the innocent patient that I certainly wasn't, so as to not raise any suspicions. I figured the safest to ask was, "Have you informed my parents about this…surgery?" Certainly they wouldn't let this man go through with this. Well, maybe my father would, but definitely not my mother. Right? I ignored the voice in my head saying that she most certainly would allow Strange to do this.

This time Strange couldn't stop the smile from appearing on his face. He even had the gall to chuckle at me, "No, I did not. I don't need to." I was about to argue with him, "You are eighteen years old Violet, I do not need to get parental consent for any treatments I may want to pursue on you." This wasn't good. This was not good. "But like I said Violet, do not fear. I wouldn't do anything to compromise your well-being. I'm trying to help you Violet."

I replayed these final words over and over in my head. After the session I tried to think of the possible "surgeries" Strange would conduct on me, since he wouldn't tell me outright what it was. Over and over I kept coming back to the only possible conclusion that would essentially take my willpower away. I didn't want to believe it. In the chaos of the cafeteria, it was harder to focus on my fears, since it was loud and bustling. It was also a perfect place to sulk alone until-

"Are you out of you fucking mind?" It was the perfect place to sulk alone until you weren't alone anymore. I figured the next time I talked to Roman after the stunt I pulled by going outside yesterday would not be a pleasant chat. Well, that's one thing you're right about. I looked up into his brown eyes. He was straight out glaring at me through his mask. I never felt like crying more than I did in that moment. I knew I would burst out into tears and basically cause a scene if I answered him, so I didn't. He didn't like that.

He slammed his tray down next to mine with unnecessary force, making some inmates at the table beside us glance over. Seeing this, Roman quickly deterred them with a smoldering glance. I thought back to Arkham City and how so many inmates were afraid of him. He was powerful. He had powerful connections. He was my one way out of here. I needed him now more than ever. Use him and lose him, sweetheart. I was still staring at him when he spun around to me and started ranting, "Violet, I've tried you know. I've really tried helping you. But I don't think you actually want out of here?" I was going to argue, "No. You shut up and you listen to me." His voice was deep and raspy again.

"Roman, I-" My voice cracked.

"I don't want to hear your damn excuses. You say I'm the one who's confused about this situation," He motioned between his chest and my own, "but I'm starting to think you're just playing around here." I began to shake my head. Beneath the table his hand shot out and caught my wrist in a bone-crushing grip, "So what is it? Huh? You don't actually want help? You don't need my help?" He let out a bitter laugh, "You tell me in the next ten seconds just what it is that you want. Because I'll be more than happy to leave your pathetic ass behind with your buddy Bane or Dent or whoever the hell else you're using." His eyes were maliciously narrowed. He thinks I'm just using him. Well you kind of are. I was aware he was waiting for my answer, but I couldn't speak. This was not what I needed right now. I needed him to get me out of here more now than ever.

He let out a noise that could best be described as utter disgust and threw my wrist away from him before moving to stand up. Well, if you're going to talk, I'd speak up now. "Roman, wait." I went to grab his arm, but he jerked it back in a way that I actually thought he was going to hit me. I flinched back in my seat a little. How did this go so bad so fast?

"You made me look like a fool in Arkham City and you're making me look like a fool to every one in this place." He bent down closer to the table, "Well, I'm done. You can rot in here."

"Strange is going to lobotomize me. Tomorrow."

Roman froze. His eyes narrowed through his mask again, this time suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"

I swallowed, tears were brimming my eyes now, "Please, just sit down and let me explain some things to you." I didn't know if he would at first, but eventually he gave in and sat back down, albeit a little reluctantly. I hadn't realized before, but I really didn't like the idea of Roman being my enemy.

"You better talk fast. Because right now you aren't making any sense." He glanced around the cafeteria, "Why would Strange bother to lobotomize you? If he wanted to incapacitate you he'd just kill you." He didn't believe me at all. Of course not, he doesn't trust you in case you haven't figured that out.

"Okay, well last Saturday I had a little….breakdown." He gave me a funny look, but I didn't give him a chance to ask, "I had to be sedated, but when I woke up I overheard Strange talking to Bolton about how I wasn't responding to the drug they've been giving me like I should have been." I didn't need to mention the hearing voices part. "That's when Strange told me he was going to be changing my treatments, but he didn't tell me how yet."

"You didn't think it was a good idea to mention this before now? You've had how many chances to tell me about this?" He was still angry. I guess I would be upset if I were in his position too, but he had to understand why I wouldn't tell him everything, right? He leaned towards me, "And what exactly do you mean you had a breakdown?" He sounded genuinely curious about this.

I wasn't done yet, "I didn't think it was all that important until I saw Zsasz yesterday. Bane told me he's been getting the same injections I have." I swallowed, looking him in the eyes, trying to express how open I was being right now. I didn't want him to think I was lying. "All I know is that it worked on Zsasz faster than it has on me so far. Bane seems to think it makes the recipient go insane-well, more insane in Zsasz's case. But, I think more than that, it involves something with a person's will power. Like it's supposed to take away your free will or something." I thought back to Strange mentioning how I had too much will power. I guess it was a good thing I'd always been so headstrong and stubborn.

Roman didn't speak for a minute, he just continued staring at me. I looked around, realizing Eddie wasn't here today. That was weird. I didn't want to look back at him. I felt embarrassed. "Violet." My head shot up at his voice. He didn't sound angry any more. He just sounded neutral at this point. "I wish you would've told me about this sooner than today." He sighed, "This really screws up the plan."

The escape plan. I knew before he even said it that there was no way they could get me out of here before tomorrow. It was less than 24 hours away. How could you have been so stupid to forget that? You just ensured the death of your sanity. I was going to have to go through with this surgery after all. "Look, I know I should've said something sooner, but…." Should I tell him? Hell, this might be one of the last times I ever spoke to him with my wits about me. I may as well come clean, "I didn't know if I could trust you. And I still don't." I looked into his eyes now. They weren't as hard as they were before.

"I know you want to know why I helped you back in Arkham City. But I can't give you an answer for that right now." You aren't ever getting that answer. "That doesn't mean you can't trust me though." He sounded confused. Maybe I was being a stupid teenage girl about this again. "I told you I'd get you out of here. I meant that."

"Well, it looks like that's not going to happen now." I said, trying not to let my voice crack again. Tears were threatening to spill over by now. Would I still be me when I was lobotomized? Probably not.

Roman leant over towards me, shifting in his seat so he was turned away from the closest guard. "Look, we were planning to get out of here in three days." Freedom was that close. I was that close to getting out and now it was all down the drain. I looked up at him and saw how he was looking at me. It made me feel funny, but not an unpleasant funny, "I meant it when I said I was going to get you out of here. I'll talk to Eddie during rec and figure something out, Violet." This time his hand clasped my own gently. He basically broke your wrist five minutes ago. Don't forget that you're dealing with an unstable loon. Roman was dangerous. I just had to stay on his good side. "I have some friends in here who can help with that."

I nodded my head and looked away. I didn't know how to feel about all of this. I definitely didn't want to get my hopes up yet. Breaking out of Arkham wouldn't be easy. "Maybe I'm better off not getting out of here." I don't even know why I said it.

His grip tightening on my hand, not painfully, more like reassuringly. "Don't say that. I'm going to get you out of here. I know I haven't given you many reasons to, but please just trust me here." I looked at him and nodded, but all that kept going through my head was how unstable this man actually was. He had a reputation in this city for death and destruction and who knows what else. Even if I were on the best of terms with him, I would not trust this man. Ever.

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I sat on one end of the old couch in the rec room while Roman and Eddie sat in the middle and other end respectively. Eddie had decided to skip lunch today in preparation of the escape or something and was currently freaking out about moving the breakout to tonight.

"It can't be done this quickly! My people can't get everything together that fast!" I stared at the television screen, trying not to cry. I was failing miserably. Eddie was eccentric, that I knew, but what I wasn't used to was Eddie not being confident in his abilities.

"Don't worry about you people. Lynns owes me a favor and I can guarantee if anyone has enough shit to get us out of here it's him." I hoped Roman was right about this Lynns guy being able to pull through and get us out of here. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to have to submit to Strange's surgery. I may be crazy and my life may be shot to hell, but I wanted to at least be sane in my misery.

They went on fighting about this for most of the rec period. Like everything else in this place, there was no doubt in my mind that the other rogues were now fully aware of the escape plan. As far as I knew we were the only three actively in on the plan but that didn't mean they hadn't made an agreement with the other rogues to try and get out of here too. Business in this asylum was so convoluted that I just chose not to think about it most of the time.

"Okay." My attention turned back towards Eddie. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him, but his head was turned slightly towards me. "I agree that given the new circumstances," He looked into my eyes here, "we should try to move it up to tonight. I'm all for trying this Roman, but I don't have much faith in it succeeding. I can try and talk to the people on my end and switch things around, but no guarantees." Neither Roman nor myself said anything to this. We both knew how much was at stake if this plan didn't follow through tonight.

Around us people began moving towards the doors. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach now. One hour closer to you losing your mind. I didn't remember a time in my life where I was this afraid of anything. Before we managed to leave the room, Roman caught my arm and squeezed it in what I assumed he thought would be a reassuring way. It just ended up hurting me more than anything. I turned my head to look at him, but something else caught my eye.

A few people were straggling behind in the room. Among them were Two-Face and Ivy. I had never seen the two of them talking or associating with one another, but as I passed through the entrance of the rec room they shared a look-a look that, as a teenage girl, I had shared more than a few times with my own friends. They're planning something. Together.

A/N: Hey guys! I decided to update a few days early since I made you all wait so long for the last chapter. As always, thank you everyone who has reviewed this story so far! I love hearing what my readers think! Also, has anyone seen the show Gotham? It's definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it yet!