Interplanet Janet
!!SOUNDS EFFECTS!! "THOUGHTS"
Chapter Ten
"I really wish you hadn't violently shoved Namor away like that, Janet," Susan Richards admonished her daughter as they walked away from the docking bay where their vehicles were stored.
"What was I supposed to do, Mom? Wait for him to pork me?"
"Janet! What kind of language is that?"
"Oh, that's right. Namor's a fish guy instead of a pig guy. Thanks for clarifying that for me, Mom."
"That's not what I meant and you know it! Namor has been through a lot as of late. You really ought to take into consideration other people's feelings"
Then Janet turned to the Invisible Woman. "Do you still have a thing for the Sub-Mariner, Mother? I vaguely recall you almost falling in love with the guy."
"No, Janet. I'm all together over him. But that doesn't mean that I don't care for him as a person. You can be so thick sometimes."
"What was that?!" Johnny called out, flying towards them, leaving a fiery trail behind him. "Did I hear right?! Did Janet really shove Namor away? What happened?"
"Since he had a thing for Mom, he decided I was the next best thing. That was so disgusting! Who does that guy think he is?"
"As I was saying Namor has been through a lot lately. Several of the women he has loved have died. And he just barely got his kingdom back only to have almost lost it again."
"He's been through a lot?! I just came here from another universe where everyone here was a fictional character as far as I knew. What's worse than that I lost the man I loved to my most hated rival. The last thing I needed was for that slimy fish guy to have his hands all over me. And by the way, the music of this time period stinks!"
"It's not that bad, Janet," the Human Torch interjected.
"And then there's 9/11. Reagan would have never allowed something like that to happen on his watch! And even if it did he would have turned Pakistan into a parking lot!"
"Things change, Janet," Reed replied calmly.
"Gee, Janet, you sound like an old woman."
"Are you talking about my mother or grandmother?"
"Take your pick," Johnny answered in jest.
"Johnny!" Then Susan abruptly turned towards her daughter. "I realize adapting to this universe is a little difficult. But have you thought how difficult it is for us, for me, having a daughter I didn't even know existed, raised by someone else and already grown?"
"I suppose."
"And the way you dress! I'm surprised your foster mother let you dress that way."
"She died when I was 17, Mom. It wasn't as if she could have stopped me anyway. Besides, could your mother have stopped you from dressing the way you wanted a few months ago when you made those people naked?"
"Janet! I told you I wasn't proud of what I did!"
"Anyway," Janet continued. "My mother wore an outfit that covered her as much as mine does now. And the swimsuits on the beach these days are a lot more revealing than what I'd ever be caught dead wearing."
At that point some more people walked into the docking bay. "We need to prepare for what Red Gho..."
"Johnny, look out! It's the Soviet Super-Soldiers!" Janet warned, her hands glowing with power, getting ready for a fight.
"Janet, stop!" Sue ordered, encasing her daughter in a force field.
"Hey!"
"Calm down, Janet. The Cold War has been over for quite some time now," Reed admonished.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot how the U.S. won that war already. Sorry, everybody. I've had a lot of run-ins with a lot of Soviet super villains in my lifetime. You want to let me out now, Mother? I know the score now."
"All right, Janet. But behave yourself," Sue admonished. But before the Invisible Woman could let down the force field, one of their guests stepped forward in a rage!
"You think you won so-called Cold War?!" a handsome, young man with big muscles announced with a hammer and sickle on his blue uniform that had white trim. Right behind him were a woman with long, shimmering blond hair, wearing a black uniform with a yellow star and trim and a large man wearing a Russian army officer's uniform.
"I don't think; I know," Janet answered from within the force field.
"So you are throwback from 80's. Listen, you Reagan sycophant. We Russians decided Cold War was getting us nowhere. So we called it quits..."
"That's right, you commie. You threw in the towel. That means we won!"
"Janet! Chill out already. Vanguard of the Winter Guard has something important to say. They're not the Soviet Super Soldiers anymore," Johnny commented.
"Are you going to let me out of this force field, Mom?"
"Before I do that I want you to recognize that Vanguard, Darkstar and Ursa Major are our guests not Cold War enemies."
"All right, already!" Janet answered, calming down after her mother let the force field down.
"And don't antagonize them. If Captain America can get along with Germans, you should be able to get along with Russians."
"You mean Germans like the Red Skull and Baron Zemo? I wouldn't trust those guys either."
"That's not what I meant! What's the matter with you?"
"Let's not forget that the Cold War was still raging when Janet left, Sue," Reed interjected intellectually. "Unfortunately Janet still has an 80's Cold War mindset."
Then Janet started talking again. "The Germans admitted defeat a long time ago. And as you can see by Vanguard's demeanor the Russians have not admitted to us having beaten them. Sheesh! They still have their nukes pointed at us!"
"How would you know that, Janet?" Reed asked, enthused. "None of our equipment has been used for that purpose recently."
"Have you forgotten, Daddy? I have both telescopic and X-ray vision. All I had to do was fly into space right over the Soviet Union and look carefully. It wasn't hard either since their nuclear missiles are pointed at America in the exact same way they were in my universe in 1982! And you say the Cold War is over?! That pervert who ran our country during the 90's practically unilaterally disarmed us!"
"I'm curious, Janet. Why did it occur to you to even check what the Russians had while you were in your previous universe?" Reed asked, turning to his daughter.
"I guess you all know about SDI or Star Wars, the name the liberals used to malign Reagan's idea to keep America safe? Well before President Reagan talked about it he had me meet with some scientists who had me spy on the Soviet Union from outer space. I guess I was the "prequel" to Star Wars."
"Wait a minute, Janet," Ben Grimm piped in. "I'm not an expert on the Cold War, but I can't believe the Russians would have just sat idly by and allowed you to do that."
"They didn't. They sent one of their super villains, Cosmo, to shoot me out of the sky. That guy was tough but he wasn't too bright. Most Russians weren't anyway," Janet said condescendingly to the consternation of the three Russians there.
"How did you fight that guy, Janet?" Johnny asked. "I remember reading an RPG supplement called the Red Doom that Cosmo was very powerful, a lot more powerful than you were if I remember correctly."
"He was but I was a whole lot faster and quick thinking. In the end I used my superior speed to confuse him, flying in between Soviet satellites. In the end I caused that dimwit to crash into one the Russian satellites, blowing it up. Then I..."
"You said something about being a prequel to Star Wars. Did Reagan's administration have you up there for another reason?" Reed interjected calmly.
"I'm not even sure I should tell anyone. It was an issue of national security which meant it was a secret."
"It's been over twenty years since that time period, Janet. You're not even in that universe anymore so you can tell us what this secret is," Reed said sternly.
"Hmm. All right. If the Soviets were to launch their nukes at the United States I was to fly into outer space right over the Soviet Union, blasting and destroying them over the country before they could get to America or any American targets. All losses to Russian life were deemed to be acceptable."
"Holy Toledo!" Ben exclaimed.
"Did Reagan's administration really think dumb blond could have destroyed every missile before it hit United States?" Vanguard questioned incredulously with his arms folded on his massive chest, glaring at the galaxy girl.
"I couldn't have gotten all of them but maybe enough so that we would have won that war decisively."
"Whoever told you that was lying to you, Janet. A war with the Soviet Union would have wiped out everything on the planet," Susan Richards stated gravely.
"I would have known if they were lying, Mom. Besides, a nuclear war is survivable. It would not have been survivable for the Soviet Union if I had had my way but we would have survived it. But despite all that I learned how to..."
"Durak!!" Darkstar screamed. !!ZAP!!
"Aaarrgh!" A darkforce energy blast struck the galaxy girl, slamming her back several yards into a wall.
"You murderous bitch! It is because of people like you Mother Russia felt need to build up too many missiles and hardware that brought country into bankruptcy."
"Don't blame us, Olga!"
"My name isn't Olga, stupid girl!" Janet was about to get up but before she could...
"Hold it, Janet!"
"Let go, Ben! That darkforce attack hurt!"
"Janet, even though I was young at the time, most people weren't as rude as you are now in the 80's. What made you so hostile?" Susan Richards asked with concern.
"We were at war with the Soviet Union in the 80's! We had no idea when those commies were going to send their missiles at us in order to take over the world! I was simply doing my duty as an American."
"That war is over, Janet. In fact it wasn't even a real war; it was a cold war. At any rate, we're at peace with Russia now," Susan answered.
"Really? I just told you they still have missiles aimed at us, better and more dangerous missiles than they had during the 80's. I don't know if I could stop most of them now."
"Why is that your concern, Janet? Who put you in charge of that?" her mother enquired, looking at her daughter as if she had stepped out of line.
"President Reagan put me in..."
"He's not the president anymore, Janet. In fact he died a few years ago. You really need to get with the times," Johnny replied.
"Yeah, that's such a bummer."
"It is good that warmonger is dead. Too bad he could not have died sooner," Vanguard replied.
"Warmonger?! You're the warmongers! Darkstar over there attacked me without provocation then she called me a murderous bitch! This is how you Russians have been acting ever since the end of World War II. You did all the aggression and pointed the finger at us! You haven't changed one bit and neither has your country!"
"In all honesty, Janet. Captain America has adapted to being out of place a lot faster than you have," Reed commented. "He wasn't suspicious of any Germans or Japanese when he came out of that iceberg."
"The Germans and Japanese were decisively defeated. The Soviet Union simply decided to..."
"We decided to end ridiculous arms race that was getting us all nowhere, stupid girl!" Darkstar interjected hotly.
Then Vanguard stepped forward. "That's right! And communism isn't so bad. It..."
"Communism stinks; it doesn't work and you know it!"
"It would have worked if warmongering president of yours didn't up stakes of so called Cold War, making Mother Russia over spend it's precious, over taxed resources."
"Over taxed resources?! Your country actually has more natural resources than we do. Russia is over twice as big as the United States. That's even including Alaska. It was your communist government that ruined everything. That's why it collapsed under it's own weight. This happened even faster when President Reagan put the screws to it."
"Lies! Communism is wonderful system."
"That's a load of bullshivik!"
"Ha ha ha! Good one, Janet!" Johnny laughed while even Ben smirked a little.
"That was a lousy joke, Janet!" Susan Storm said with a stern look. Then she turned towards her younger brother. "And you, Johnny, don't encourage her!"
"That was funny. But all right," Johnny said, calming down. "Let's forget about the past for now," the Human Torch said, raising a flamed hand.
"That's a good idea, Johnny," Reed interjected. "Now, why are three members of the Winter Guard here?"
"The reason they showed up is because they're having problems with the Red Ghost. Since we've defeated him so many times they've come to us for help. And you have to forget the past or more importantly your past, Janet."
"All right. But now you sound like my mother," Janet answered, her arms folded on her chest, giving her uncle a knowing look.
"Ouch! That hurt!" Johnny replied, feigning injury.
"Johnny!" the Invisible Woman announced as Johnny and Janet smirked at each other.
"Now that we have had history lesson. Can we get to most pressing of matters?" Ursa Major, the man wearing the military uniform asked with very little patience.
"Sure, Ursa dude."
"Let us get back to Mother Russia. We will explain everything there." At that point, Janet and the Fantastic Four entered into one of their vehicles along with the three Russians, taking off for Russia.
XXX
"Are you certain you know how to set off those nuclear missiles?" an old man, balding in the front with long hair in the back, wearing red clothes demanded to know.
"Don't question me, Kragoff! I know what I'm doing. I've taken everything into account," a middle aged man with shoulder length brown hair, wearing a green jumpsuit explained.
"Have you taken into account the Fantastic Four's new ally, this Interplanet Janet?"
"Of course, I have. We'll be successful."
"Maybe you're right, Thinker, but why did you bring this piece of work here?" The Red Ghost motioned to the tall individual who wore a super powered suit of armor and a long cape. His helmeted skull turned coldly towards the Red Ghost, giving him a harsh glare!
"Piece of work? Listen, Kragoff. I'm an expert in nuclear technology. That's why the Thinker brought me here."
"You've been known as a joke in the scientific community for years, Professor Daedalus. I find it hard to believe you're of any value here seeing as how you disappeared, hiding your face in shame when you work in quantum physics went bust."
Then the professor violently stormed his way towards the Red Ghost, getting in his face. "Listen here, Kragoff, I was working on nuclear energy when you and your pet monkeys were playing with yourselves."
"What?!"
"Take it easy, you two," the Mad Thinker said, getting in between the would be combatants. "You spoke concerns of Interplanetary Janet, Kragoff. Well, the good professor knows much about your worry in addition to his own extensive knowledge of nuclear weapons. He also has a great deal of hatred for the Fantastic Four. He'll be most useful here. Now let's not bicker with each other. Soon we'll have the world by it's knees. There's nothing that can stop us now."
"That's correct," Professor Daedalus spoke up. "My superior knowledge of nuclear weapons has allowed us to get control of the Russian arsenal a lot quicker than it would have taken you to do so without me."
"I find it hard to believe you are capable of doing what I haven't been able to do for decades," the Red Ghost interjected suspiciously, returning the professor's harsh glare.
"I can do many things you can't, Kragoff! Even though it surprised and irked me to find the Thinker in my out-of-the-way hideout, waiting for me upon my return, I'm happy to be part of this plan. Anyway. During my time in another universe..."
"What?!"
"You heard me. I was in another universe where I ran an organization that would have taken over the world in time. During this time my intelligence network which was second to none gave me the schematics and launch capabilities of the Soviet nuclear arms."
"But are the coordinates the same in your universe as they are in this one?"
"They're close enough."
"The knowledge Professor Daedalus had of the Russian nuclear arsenal was most impressive even if it was a little out of date. My inhumanly superior intellect was enough to fill in the rest of what was needed. But as it was doing something like this would have taken me a lot longer without the professor's help," the Mad Thinker explained.
"Yes. Yes. But don't forget how I had brought much of what we needed through my sources in the Russian government," the Red Ghost said in his own defense.
"You were very useful in that. Even though the Russian government has been made aware of what you've done it will not matter."
"They couldn't know! My apes were too silent." the Red Ghost replied.
"They know, Kragoff. They know. They will surely bring in the Fantastic Four due to all the defeats you've had at their hands."
"What?!" How dare you bring that to my remembrance?!"
"Don't worry about it. The Fantastic Four is doomed. That includes their new ally, Interplanet Janet." Professor Daedalus turned towards the Mad Thinker, his interest showing through his helmeted mask.
"Who is this Interplanet Janet?" the Red Ghost demanded to know.
"She's Mr. and Mrs. Richards daughter."
"That's impossible. They only have two children who are too young to be of any importance! Your facts are erroneous, Thinker. I think you're finally slipping."
"He is correct, you Simian fool."
"Silence, you over rated crackpot!"
"There's no need for hostility. Let me explain the details, Professor." As Daedalus motioned compliance with the request, the Mad Thinker continued. "She was taken from them before she could have been born into another universe along with the good professor here. That's where Daedalus got to become so much more than he was before."
"All right. So are you aware of what she can do, Thinker? We might need to put this on the back burner until we can know more about the Fantastic Four's new ally. I don't like unknown variables."
"I've taken her abilities into account as well. She can fly, shoot off energy blasts, has super strength, doesn't need to breathe and has vision powers. It's also easy for me to tell that her mental state is of the past and from another dimension. There's no way a retro bimbo like her could ruin our plans."
"That's true but there's one more thing." Both the Mad Thinker and the Red Ghost turned to their new accomplice. "It's important that when we fire any of those missiles off that Interplanet Janet is far away from them."
"Why is that important?"
"I know for a fact that when both of us were in that other universe Janet learned how to attack and destroy nuclear missiles before they hit their targets. I don't know how capable she is since there never was a nuclear war between the U.S. and the Soviet Union. But her very presence poses a problem."
"See, Kragoff? I told you Professor Daedalus would prove useful to this operation."
"So when will we be able to fire off Russian missiles and show our power?"
"All in good time, Kragoff. All in good time."
XXX
"I want you to behave yourself, Janet," Sue Richards stated to her daughter as the Fantastic Four walked towards the headquarters of the Winter Guard in the city of Moscow, Russia.
"All right, already! I said I'd behave. It's the commies who..."
"They're not communists! They're Russians. Don't forget that!"
"They still have their missiles pointed us," Janet whispered, looking around.
"That will do, Janet," Reed admonished.
"Greetings, comrades!" a big, fat, balding Russian politician with a huge thick beard called out, walking towards them with open arms. "Welcome to Russia! We are grateful for the fact that great Fantastic Four have decided to honor us with their presence!"
"Thank you for having us, Comrade Shernoff," Reed stated in greetings.
"Where is Thing? I don't see him here."
"I'm right here, chrome dome. And call me Ben."
"What happened to rocks that covered body?"
"Things change. My code name's Adonis now," the unusually beautiful man answered sternly.
"Oh." Then Shernoff regarded Janet for a moment. "I do not know who you are either, young lady." The man lustily regarded Janet's impressive bosom shamelessly for a few seconds.
!!SNAP!!SNAP!!"My eyes are up here, comrade. Anyway, I'm Interplanet Janet. Why do you still have your missiles pointed at... Hmph!"
"Janet says her greetings as well," Mr. Fantastic said, using his elongated arm to cover his daughter's mouth.
"Come inside so we can get to point." In a few moments everyone was sitting around a large table inside a room with a big screen video monitor surrounded by several communications and electronics devices. Several members of the Winter Guard sat in attendance. "Let me Introduce some of members of Winter Guard. You already know Vanguard, Darkstar and Ursa Major. Here are Gremlin, Sibercat, Red Guardian, Fantasia and Perun. The others are away on other missions."
The Gremlin, a midget sized bald man, wearing a green jumpsuit was the deformed man and genius who normally wore the gigantic Titanium Man armor. "The young woman in yellow is most beautiful. I wonder."
Then there was Sibercat who looked sort of cat-like with red hair that pointed up like cat's ears while his real ears were pointed. Even as he sat in his seat it was easy to see that he had a great deal of grace and agility as he wore a light brown uniform with dark brown trim.
Fantasia was a beautiful woman with long black hair, wearing a red evening gown that was open midriff, showing a lot of cleavage. She gave Janet a thoughtful look that made the blond bombshell a little uncomfortable but said nothing.
Also seated there was the current Red Guardian, a fit, muscular man wearing a red uniform with a white star on his chest and white trim. He sported a round, disc shield that resembled his uniform while he looked upon Janet with unconcealed interest. "I would love to just smother her American body."
"If Russia is no longer communist why is that oversexed, Captain America wannabe wearing that commie outfit?" Janet thought to herself as she regarded the Russian.
Perun was a large man who wore a helmet and red cloak similar to what Thor would normally wear. He had long hair and a beard, with a great deal of body hair, holding large axe which helped to focus his electrical powers.
"Now," the Russian politician said with a sense of grave seriousness. "The main problem is our nuclear missiles. Our intelligence has informed me that the Red Ghost has acquired great deal of stolen nuclear technology including top secret suitcases which can activate nuclear missiles."
"If that's the case why not just shut down all of your nukes?" Janet interjected as her mother glared at her.
"This is not so simple. And even if we wanted to do that there is risk that Red Ghost might shoot them off anyhow."
"Isn't there some way you can just terminate your nukes so that they can never be used at all?"
"Well, I..."
"Let me take a look at them. Perhaps I can fix things so that they can only work from here instead of far away," Reed answered.
"I don't see why we even need the Fantastic Four and their busty friend here," the Gremlin snapped. "I can fix everything myself."
"If that was true, Gremlin, we wouldn't be here!" Janet yelled back, receiving a hostile glare from the little man. Then the Galaxy Girl took a good look at her surroundings and concentrated.
"Stop it!" Darkstar demanded, covering Janet's face with darkness.
"Hey!"
"Don't dare use vision powers to spy on country!"
"We're trying to help you here."
"Darkstar! What are you doing? Stop it right now!" the government official ordered.
"She has x-ray vision. She will see everything Mother Russia has to defend herself."
"I have telescopic vision as well so I've already seen everything you have. Right now I... Hmph!"
"That's enough, Janet. I'll handle things from here," Reed admonished.
"Darkstar! Stop it!" the Red Guardian ordered.
As soon as everything had calmed down Reed Richards spoke up. "Now if you'll direct me to where the nerve center of your nuclear operations is, I can get to work from there."
"Yes, of course," the Russian official answered. "Come this way."
All of a sudden alarms went off! Then a short man wearing a white lab coat came running up to the Russian official. "A few of our nuclear missiles have went online and are about to go off! We can't stop them!"
"I better get over there right away!" Reed exclaimed hurriedly.
XXX
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Sorry for the long time between updates but I had a hard time thinking up another chapter. Anyway. Now I'd like to give props to the people who have given me reviews to the last chapter.
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