"Cass?"
"Dean, let me tell you my story. Let me tell you everything."
It took hours, getting from the beginning to where they stood three weeks ago. Dean had to stop Castiel five times to properly hydrate him when his voice began to die. Dean knew this was important, knew that if he didn't listen now there wouldn't be another chance.
"Dean, I've lied to you. When you asked if God sent me – I lied. He wanted you to do this alone, He wanted you to become the man you are supposed to be without aid – But you're just a man! And as an Angel I was foolish, I thought I knew better. I took his plan and I ripped it up – I just –"
"As an Angel?"
"Yes."
"Cass, you're still-"
"I'm not an Angel anymore, Dean. I do not know what I am but I am not the celestial being you thought me to be. Not anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"They have eradicated my connection to Heaven, Dean."
"They cut you off? So what, how does that –"
"It's more than that."
"Then what? Please, explain it to me."
"Angels are connected to Heaven directly by their Grace. An Angel's Grace is used when fighting, flying or anything that requires power."
"Like a battery."
"Of sorts. In order to sustain their own Grace, all Angels are tethered to Heaven by an ethereal link. When that link is severed their Grace weakens with use until it is completely extinguished."
"Yeah, so what? Worst case scenario-"
"I die, Dean."
Somewhere inside of him, Dean had known that was what Castiel was about to say and yet he had hoped that was not the case. He had foolishly thought that without his powers the Angel would become human. 'And then what, genius? We'd have a fucking parade, throw some confetti? Yeah,right.'
"Why?"
"My Grace is similar to your soul; the difference between the two is that a human can, for all intents and purposes, function without theirs. Humans do not rely on their soul as Angels do their Grace. Without my link I will slowly deplete my Grace until I extinguish it and cease to exist."
"Won't you just go back to Heaven when you die?"
"When an Angel dies, Dean, they don't go anywhere."
"Then just stop using your powers!"
"It is not that simple."
"How complicated can it be?"
"Existing in this plain drains me. Simply occupying this vessel uses Grace. Not using it is not possible."
"Then go back to recharge!"
"Do you think me a fool? I have already tried – like my link it is beyond my reach. I am 'cut off' completely."

Castiel watched as Dean began to pace, becoming more frustrated and upset by the minute. He knew the hunter would be agitated, knew this would affect him. The concern ebbing from his soul, however, was not expected. 'We have made such progress in two weeks; if only I had more time!'
"This is my punishment for disobeying God, a fate worse than death in a realm as hostile as it is beautiful. I will die a creature below the lowest life form and my passing will mean nothing."
Dean rushed at Castiel then, fury boiling to the surface as he grabbed the lapels of his coat and dragged him inches away from his own face. Cass could feel the heat of his breath on his face, the specks of brown in his emerald eyes – the very eyes he could not remove his own from.
"Don't you ever say that, Cass. You're not gonna die – don't you ever say that."
"Everything dies-"
"Shut up! You're not dying – not on my watch."
"Why are you fighting this so hard?"
"Because you forced your way into this and I'll be damned before I let you just saunter right back out. How long do we have?"
"I don't-"
"No powers, playing human – how long?"
"A year at most."
"That's plenty of time."
Dean released him, leaning back a little bit but still in his 'personal space'. Castiel had no idea what to think.
"We find Sam and go from there; he'll know what to do, he always does."
"Dean, it's almost been a month and we still have nothing. What makes you think-"
"It's been three weeks and we've got a lead."
"Yes, with the usage of my powers! What makes you think-"
"Cass, we will find Sam. You're gonna survive this. For an Angel you could really use some faith."

In the morning Dean took Castiel clothes shopping for the first time, which turned out to be as fun as electroshock therapy. In the end they ended up with five new outfits – two cheap suits, two outfits Dean deemed 'Hippy Gear' and a pair of blue jeans with a plain black T-shirt. Carefully folding them into his new duffel, Castiel placed it in the trunk with Deans before they made their way to Vermont.
As expected the demons were long gone leaving wreckage and mayhem in their wake. Dean was losing face as their search continued to bear no fruit, Castiel having left hope behind in the last hotel room. When they both decided to turn in, the lights off while they waited for sleep, Castiel turned to face Dean.
"Dean."
"Yeah Cass?"
"Why are you so desperate to save me?"
"You're my friend."
"Friend?"

Dean turned to him then, his eyes falling on the silhouette of his companion. He couldn't see them, but he felt the Angel's eyes on him.
"Yeah, friend."
"Oh."
"What, you didn't think we were?"
"I had not realized I held any importance to you."
"Dude, you saved my life – multiple times. You rebelled for a guy you'd never met, you've been helping me find my brother when I had no one else who could or would. Do I really have to pull a chick flick moment with you?"
"A 'chick flick moment'?"

Castiel heard Dean sigh heavily, a sound soon followed by movement on his adjacent bed. The Angel froze as he watched the hunter's shape stand and slowly make his way over. Nerves turned to confusion when Dean lifted the covers and began to nudge him over.
"Scoot, man; lemme in."
Castiel wordlessly obliged, making room for the larger man on his twin sized bed. Dean was warm against him, his hands seeking Cass out before pulling him flush against his chest. The Righteous Man stroked Castiel's hair tenderly as he whispered to him.
"You're the closest thing I have to family left, Cass. I need you and finding Sam won't change that."
"Do you mean it?"
The words escaped him before the thought had formed in his mind. He felt Dean chuckle under his cheek, the movement somehow as relaxing as the hand carding through his hair and while the other protectively rested on his back. Castiel slowly worked his hands up from his sides to rest beside his face on the larger man's chest. Somehow the whole situation made him feel like the child he never was, seeking comfort in someone stronger than himself.
"Yeah; we're gonna survive this, Cass. All of us."
"I believe you."
Castiel meant every word.