Chapter 10

"Petra, please focus, for the love of Wall Maria," Erwin says to me as I hurry after him, Levi holding onto my arm to remain steady, to remain standing.

"But Sir, what about-" he cuts me off with a harsh look. My worry about Hanji increases since I still haven't seen her. I struggle to keep up with him as we rush as covertly from the military police headquarters as we can. Levi is bleeding again and my concern for him is not stifled by our current situation. If anything I feel more concern for him than I ever have before. Our bond is even deeper than the bond of a soldier, a soldier is just someone to learn to care about and then have to watch die. But, he's something more than just that bleak veracity. Somehow, I can't seem to care about my realities. He's my reality now, a thought that fills me with a healthy mixture of both fear and joy.

We take a turn and down a set of ancient servant's stairs that are lit by only one torch each flight. It twirls as we descend three flights down; Levi began really struggling towards the end. Not to mention that the wear on the stairs is enough to make the wood polished and slippery. We finally reach the bottom and are spit out directly into an industrial size kitchen, which is, by the way, completely clean and empty. We hurry past cold brick ovens and duck under hanging brass pots before coming to a small wooden door that sits propped open slightly. Erwin pushes the door open to glaring light that I have to bring my hand up to shield my eyes from. It's dazzling to be outside again. I was starting to feel like a bird in a cage.

"Let's go," Erwin says sternly. There's a carriage waiting for us, one of ours, and Erwin runs toward it, and once he reaches it he enters quickly. I look around to make sure none of the MP Officers are around to witness our departure, but I am surprised to find that it's entirely deserted. I recall that we didn't see any MP soldiers except from those two that opened our prison door. That can't be a mistake, Erwin is careful and that may have been part of our orchestrated release. I help Levi in, although he does well enough on his own. He sits back heavily against the soft cushions of the carriage and leans his head back, his strong jaw tightened. He closes his eyes to the pain.

"Shit, those guys were assholes," he lifts his head and looks at Erwin, "They specifically broke eleven ribs. If those fuckers weren't so good at their job they would have punctured a lung -or worse." He has murder in his eyes, and all I can feel is brewing hate towards those who did this to him. Those same men threatened my father.

When did you become a vengeful psychopath, Petra?

I shake my head. I need to get a grip. Those guys were just following orders. No use hurting others when my quarrel is with the higher ups. And when we take them down, it won't be a knife-in-the-dark assassination...no, it'll expose them publicly.

I shut the door behind me, and the carriage sputters into motion. Erwin audibly sighs and runs a hand through his hair –a motion not common to him. He reminds me of a father who has just met the school's headmaster, and is now about to scold his children. Except; we're the children in that scenario.

"Levi," he looks at him, "Petra," he turns to me. "I don't think either of you have an appreciation of what I had to go through to get you two out."

I sit with my hands clasped in my lap, trying to remain composed. Levi leans his head back against the rest and groans. We are stark opposites when faced with the same situation.

My immediate impulse is to apologise, but I force myself to ask the question at the front of my mind. "Where's Hanji?"

Erwin's eyes don't shift, "She was the first to be released, as a show of good-will. You two, however, were not so easily negotiated for."

"Yeah, yeah Erwin –we know you're so diplomatic etcetera, etcetera. Can you get to your point?" I try not to laugh at Levi's words; his demeanour is so adorable to me. Not to mention that even dirty and with his raven hair in knots he is still the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

Erwin huffs, "I bluffed and they believed me. Well, they were too stupid to realize how it could be turned on us, because if they had've realized then you wouldn't be sitting here now."

My eyes nearly pop out of my head. "You bluffed?! Wh-what was the bluff?" I stutter out. I push the hair out of my face, annoyed. I look at Levi, and even his guarded face holds a stunned expression.

"I told them that I would go to the press about your attackers' trial, and about the kangaroo court that makes a mockery of justice, and then I would expose why they wanted to capture you in the first place." If it was possible, my eyes widen further.

"But...how do you...know what they wanted from me?" I ask, almost afraid of the answer.

Erwin nods, "Hanji, when we met for the parlay, was given up to me. She was able to wrestle that knowledge out of the soldier who was guarding your door. It makes sense."

Levi pipes up then. "Would you mind filling me in?"

Erwin asks me with a look and I nod my consent. He looks at Levi. "Her father, Mr. Ral, used to be a miner and knew the miner who disappeared after trying to dig under the wall. He's the last one left alive that knows about what that miner said, what that miner saw. However, his memory is fading with disease and so to question him would be pointless; that's why they took his daughter to try and gauge how much he knows and how much he has told others."

Levi turns his eyes to me, worried.

I continue where Erwin left off. "Don't worry; they've deemed him as a non-threat. However, I'm sure that's why they were less than excited to let us go." I turn to Erwin now. "How exactly were you bluffing? I mean, couldn't you have gone to the press?"

Erwin sighs. "Luckily they didn't realize the great flaw with my bluff, in that it could have so easily been turned onto the Scouting Legion. The man who attacked you and gave you all this information? He was killed by them, and yet his death could easily have been pinned on us –since we did kidnap him after all." I nod, remembering the sound of the gun going off and blowing the back of Robert's head off. Erwin rubs the bridge of his nose. "It would have spiraled downwards in accusations and heresy that we wouldn't be any farther ahead and our names would have been dragged through the mud. Luckily, they didn't realize the potential of a publicity war because if they had then our leverage would have been for naught."

I sit back in my chair –stunned.

"How did it come to this?" I ask rhetorically.

Levi, sensing the lack of an answer gently touches my shoulder. I look to him, his eyes blue again in this light. His eyes look like pools of water covered in ice. I am taken aback, constantly, by how passionate his gaze is -the power behind that beauty.

We arrive at the castle to Hanji (not even waiting for us to get out of the carriage) throwing open the doors and grabbing me in a death grip of a hug. Her concern is overwhelming but the pressure on my ribs is less than endearing. "Hanji, can you let me go?"

"Oh, of course Petra! Sorry about that, but I was so worried! And what is this about?" She gestures to my camisole with the broken strap. I guess I do look quite...revealing. "You look practically naked." Her gaze suddenly hardens. "If any of those sons of bitches laid a hand on you, I'll personally castrate them with a dull knife. Or a sledgehammer," she adds as an afterthought.

Although her anger is unnecessary in this situation, it is endearing. "Thanks Hanji, but don't worry, I just used my shirt to patch Levi up since they tortured him pretty badly."

Hanji whips her head around to see Levi walking, albeit with a limp, into the castle and towards the infirmary. Taking in his partial nakedness, she turns back to me with a devious gleam in her eye.

"Petra," is all she says. I feel the blush rising to my cheeks and she notices. That's all she needed to say, one word and a meaningful look, and I'm a useless puddle of awkward emotions.

"SHUT UP YOU DIDN'T," Hanji looks around at my startled face, and checking that no one is there she punches me in the arm.

"Hey," I object as I rub my shoulder.

But she's not listening to me. "I cannot, I simply CANNOT believe it! You two? Oh my gosh, my little killer ducklings are growing up and having sex with each other!" She sounds way too happy about this.

"HANJI," I whisper-shout at her. Not that anyone is here to hear her declarations of my most private moment.

"What?" she asks like she doesn't know, "So you two didn't sleep together?"

I try and hush her up but it doesn't work.

"Uh-huh. Knew it, I knew it! You can't deny it; remember Petra, you can't hide anything from me."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, I wish I could though."

She gives a whooping laugh and drapes her arm around me. "So what now? Marriage? 2.4 children and a cottage inside Wall Rose?"

I sputter a little, "No! Well, I mean, I don't know! This just happened, and I don't know what it means yet. I don't know if he would even entertain an idea like that." I worry at my lower lip. I don't know what Levi would be up for, or if last night was just a once off thing, or what. I can't pretend like it didn't happen since the sensation of his hands is still too fresh to ignore.

Sensing my unease Hanji squeezes my shoulder. "Petra, he is pretty in love with you. I know him, and I can tell that. I can't say if he could ever leave the battlefield, but you are the only person I could ever see him leaving the fight for. You are the only reason why he would ever leave. Petra, that's pretty special."

I smile at her, still a little insecure.

"You know what? He'll be in the infirmary, wait out there until they're done patching him up and then be there when he wakes up. I think that's the best thing."

I nod; her words comforting. I can wait by his side. I will wait for him to be ready because despite it all, you can't help who you love. I smile at her, fully this time.

"Thank you Hanji, you've always been the best friend I could ever ask for." I find myself emotional, and my heart is full.

She hugs me. "We fight for the glory of humanity, but sometimes it's nice to find something else to fight for." She pulls back from me, her wide brown eyes sharp. "What are you waiting for? An invasion of titans? Go!"

I nod, smile back a tear, turn, and run into the castle.

Levi actually broke eleven ribs and his leg. The leg was broken so badly in fact that it had shifted and couldn't be set properly without surgery. He now lays in the infirmary with his chest tightly bandaged and his leg sewn shut and in a cast. He sleeps off the anesthetic, but I am determined to be there when he wakes.

I nod off once, but manage to stay awake. Somewhat. I wear my own clothes and I have bathed quickly, just so my hair is clean and the smell of the MP is off of me. I never realized how much I loved this place until I was taken from it, the seemingly unlivable stone hallways look warm and cheerful in comparison to the depth of darkness that surrounded the MP headquarters in a shroud.

My blonde hair is in a tiny ponytail at the back of my head since I can't be bothered to deal with it now. I sit in my uniform, the crest of two feathered wings sewn onto the back. That coat of arms (sans the "arms" and moto) is what eternally ties me to the people in this legion, even Levi. It's interesting that they would choose to call those wings "the wings of freedom" but it seems to suit us as a whole. We are, after all, just a weird assortment of crazed freedom fighters warring against the titans on behalf of all of humanity.

I sit in a chair next to Levi's bed in the infirmary, but it's a private room off the main medical area, so he has privacy. I'm the only one here; everyone else has had supper and has gone to bed. Auruo brought down some food for me and looked genuinely glad that I was okay, our past differences mostly forgotten. He offered to stay with me, but I insisted that I just needed to be alone.

But, actually, I'm not alone. I could never be alone when I have Levi. Even when he's unconscious I feel safer with him, his very existence in my space fills me with girlish giddiness.

I memorize the walls of the room while he sleeps. White with two oak doors with glass at eyelevel, but otherwise no windows –for privacy reasons. The bed is basic, with handles that could be moved up to keep a patient from rolling off the bed. Tiled floors. Wooden (empty) bookshelves. Three candles are all that's provided to light the small room.

I don't grow impatient. I just wait. I look at his hair that needs to be cut since the dark strands are hanging lower than usual. Prominent jaw, small nose, and high cheekbones make the man before me not only masculine but handsome in a way that I know he could never appreciate for himself.

His hand is outside of the covers, only inches from mine.

I don't really know, should I? What could the harm be? He won't wake up.

I brush his hand ever so lightly, so rough and yet so gentle. I place my hand into his, tracing the calluses on his palm. I slip my hand, so small compared to his, and hold on to him. The touch, the warmth about him seeps into me. I try to support him, but I don't think he realizes how much he supports me. Little things like this, his touch, keep me steady –even during the worst of times.

To my surprise he squeezes my hand back.

My eyes fly to his.

He silently stares at me, his expression unreadable.

I get up to leave but feel pressure in my hand. I look back at him.

Never the man to show emotion, weakness or even vulnerability...yet here he is: lying helpless while holding fast to me. It warms my heart. "Stay with me." He says it like a question, not a command. He knows I could leave and he doesn't want me to. That simple, that painfully simple, and it causes me to feel a rush of love for him. I would never leave him. That little plea and I'm gone. There's no hope for me now. Those heartfelt eyes that are usually so reserved, the sharp angles of his face that are usually twisted in contempt or disinterest are now softened by the expression.

Of course I sit down, what else would I do? My heart belongs to him, and once stolen there is no going back. I hold his hand and gaze at him –far more lovingly than I should. But now how could I have ever thought anything else? We love each other, whether or not either of us is brave enough to act on it past what has already happened.

I look away, suddenly shy. "I hope you're feeling better."

He doesn't say anything for a long time.

"You know, I meant everything that I said, last night."

I make an inhuman squeak. "Oh, really? I mean, that's cool, I mean, yes, I mean..."

He's laughing at me. He looks at me so lovingly. "You are absolutely adorable, Petra Ral."

I laugh once, blushing furiously. I contemplate what to say. I wonder if I should say the one thing I would really like to say. We may not have a moment like this again. I don't know what the future holds and I certainly cannot predict the extent of the issues we will face: between titans and the corruption in our leadership it'll be amazing if we make it out alive.

So I do the stupid thing and blurt out the obvious truth. "I love you Levi."

He doesn't look surprised, although that surprises me. He already told me what he thought, he already confessed his affection and yet here I am, worried that I'll be rejected. Considering that he's the only man I've ever loved, it's not hard to understand why I would be so nervous about admitting the truth, the truth that is plain to everyone else but us.

If it's possible, I blush harder.

His gaze turns serious suddenly. "Petra, why do you love me? I can't give you half of what you deserve. I would give you the world if I could but...I'm just a stupid thug turned soldier." He looks downtrodden, demoralized, like a man that doesn't believe he's worth anything.

I'm shaking my head vigorously, "Levi no, you give me more every day than any other man could. You can't give me a life of luxury inside of Wall Sina? Good, because I don't want that." He looks at me, warily surprised. I take a breath. "You seem to think you're lacking in the qualities I look for in man, but you aren't! You think I care about your family name? You think I could care about something as shallow as money? You think I want an ordinary life?" I search his eyes, trying to convey the emotions bottled in my chest. "I don't care about that. I only care about the man: a man who is humanity's strongest, a man who has overcome adversity from childhood. I care about the man who fights for us, not the man too afraid to leave his farm inside the safety of Wall Rose! Levi, I care about you. Not anyone else, it couldn't be anyone else. I love you Levi, and it's really not that hard to understand why."

If it was possible, Levi looked stunned. His eyes were clear though, his forehead's not creased. It's as if, for the first time, he truly sees at me. He looks at me and now appreciates the depths of my heart. It's mildly disconcerting, but if there was anyone who I would like to see into my soul: it would be him.

He traces shapes onto my hand with his calloused thumb. I bite my lip.

"I didn't know you felt that way," is all he says. He looks away, and then builds the courage to meet my eyes again. He stares at me a moment, but I don't flinch away from that gaze. I meet him head-on.

"Come lay with me Petra. Sleep by my side. Please." He asks it quietly, like he can't bear the sound of his own voice requesting such an intimate thing. In response I release his hand, pull off my boots and slowly remove my jacket. We never break eye contact. I sit down next to him, my weight barely making a dent in the bed as I shift and lay down next to him, the sound of crinkling bedsheets like thunder in the silence of the room.

I lay on my back and he turns (with a grunt of pain no less) and is on his side. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me to him. I turn more towards him, comforted by his warmth. He brushes a stray lock of hair from my face behind my ear. He stares at me, while mostly naked under the bundling of gauze. Our exposed feet entwine. I stare up at him. I suddenly kiss his nose.

His eyebrows furl. "What was that for?"

I giggle. "You just looked so kissable that I couldn't resist."

He smiles, a rare and beautiful thing. He seems to be doing that more lately. "I must have done something right in this lifetime to deserve you, Petra." He leans his forehead towards me. He kisses me, sweetly and gently. He kisses me like we have all the time in the world and there's no better way to spend that time than to savour the taste of each other.

I breathe quietly, nuzzling close to his chest.

He tilts my chin up to look into my eyes, his grey ones soft.

I smile up at him in a frozen moment of perfection.

As I slowly fall asleep in his arms, I feel him breathing in the scent of my hair. He plays with the small hairs at the back of my neck. I nestle more towards him.

Just as I'm falling asleep, I feel the rumble in his chest and his deep and molten voice speaks sweet-nothings into my heart.

"Petra," he speaks like a dream, "On most people the wings of freedom look like a death sentence, but on you...they look like angel wings."

The End