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A/N These last three are all for you Gemma – kate and Flack all the way :) No crime for the last three chapters. Bobby Renton and Ainsley, and that storyline are from series 6 – a cannon case that I've 'borrowed' lol all characters etc belong to CBS, O/C's are mine.

Chapter 9

Don woke with a start, reaching for his cell and switching it back on, he listened to the two messages, one from Sam, and one from Kate.

"Shit" he swore, swinging his legs out of the bed, the sudden movement making his head ache and a wave of nausea creep over him. He looked at the bedside alarm clock it's red numbers told him that it was 7.15 am.

He crept out of the hotel, realising that he hadn't been as drunk last night as he first feared. He'd been drunk all right, but not to the extent where he couldn't remember. He regretted it, badly as he walked. He remembered the conversation with Cliff Angell, remembered how it had all hit him like a truck, memories of Jess, what had happened that day, doubts about how he felt about Kate, and his father, and his career.

He stopped dead as he saw the diner on the opposite side of the street, the one that Bobby Renton's girlfriend, Ainsley had worked at, the one where his conscience had led him to take Bobby after he'd arrested him. He stood a moment, and then decided that breakfast was a good idea, breakfast and some serious thinking.

As he ate he reflected that his father was still his father, that he might not be infallible, but he was still a great man. He reflected that life had changed him too, that he'd made mistakes, and maybe tried to right them, just like he had with Bobby Renton. Or of not right them, do what he could to make up for it.

He recalled his own feelings that night, watching Bobby with his family for the first time, and how much it had hurt, even two years after Jess's death, thinking that he'd never have that. That he'd do anything to have Jess back so they could have what Bobby and Ainsley did, that not only was Jess dead, but so was his future, as a man.

Now, four years on he was starting to think he was wrong. He could have fathered children, to anyone really, after making the decision, the woman was actually immaterial. Until Kate had come back into his life, and suddenly, being around her made him feel alive again, the need to have a family moved to the background, the need for Kate had overtaken it. But maybe one day, if they didn't kill each other first, they could have what Bobby and Ainsley had, a life together and a family, but the family wasn't his primary focus now, Kate was. He realised that he couldn't walk away from her now, that as much as being in love with her scared him, he wouldn't make those mistakes again. He needed to tell her how he felt, he needed to hear how she felt, because life had maybe given him another chance, and last night he had nearly thrown it all away by getting blind drunk and hiding from his life.

…...

Kate threw her bag onto the couch, the smell from the kitchen made her mouth water.

"Remembered where you live then?" she said sarcastically "Hope she was worth it!"

"I spent the night in a hotel, alone" he said "I don't do cheatin'" not turning around from the food he cooked.

"Huh" she replied slouching into a chair "And you couldn't have called?"

"Yes I could have" he admitted "And should have"

"And so now you've tidied the house, and are cooking me dinner to grovel?" she said.

"Yes and yes" he answered, placing steaks onto plates.

He put the plates on the table, and he caught the look on her face, relief mixed with an anger so intense it scared him. He'd never seen her look vulnerable before.

"I'm sorry" he said.

"Oh well" she said, contemplating cutting her nose off to spite her face by pushing the plate away "It's all OK then isn't it?!"

"No it's not" he said "But I'm hoping it can be"

Hunger won, and Kate started eating "And you think that you can cook me dinner and I'll forgive and forget?"

"Something like that" he admitted.

"Then you got another think coming Batman" she snapped, putting her knife and fork down "What were you doing? Scaring me like that? And then just a text saying 'I'm home'?"

"I don't know" he admitted "What happened yesterday, it threw me"

"You know what" she said, standing up and grabbing the plate "I'm eating this in the bedroom, you can sleep in the spare room, unless you plan on going on another bender" And with that she flounced off, slamming the bedroom door.

He grinned to himself, that was exactly the reason he loved her, and would fight to make her see that.

…...

Don woke suddenly, he didn't realise what exactly was wrong at first. He was in bed, and Kate was next to him, then he realised that was wrong, Kate had banished him to the spare room, and now she was in here with him.

"What ch'you doin'?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Trying to sleep" she snapped.

"In here?" he asked, surprised.

"Something wrong with that?" she asked.

"No" he said quickly "I just thought..."

"Makes a fuckin' change" she hissed "You thinking!"

"I've said I'm sorry" he rolled over, facing her back, putting his arm around her "I know that's not enough, but if you'll stop bitching long enough, I'll try and prove it to you"

It took him a few moments to realise she was crying.

"Don't" he pleaded, he was shocked that he had caused this much pain in her, she'd always been so together, seemed so strong.

"I don't want to!" she protested "You think I want to be anywhere near you? I'm so mad at you I could kill you! But I had to, I had to see for myself you were still here, and that you're really OK"

"I am" he promised, wiping her tears away, and feeling her hand on his face, realising that she was now wiping away his tears, ones he didn't know were there "I'm sorry Kate, I really am"

"I hope so" she sniffed "Because I can't go through that again, you go AWOL on me again, I will hunt your ass down and shoot you"

"I didn't realise that it'd had such an effect" he admitted.

"Seriously?" she said "You disappear for a full 24 hours and don't expect me to worry?!"

"Well, you only called once" he explained "If the tables were turned, I'd have ripped this city apart"

"That's the difference" the tears started again "I figured you needed space, and then that you'd decided that all this me and you, was too fast"

"It was too fast" he admitted "But I don't care, I'm not sticking to any guidelines here, I love you, and it feels right. I just thought you were mad at me"

"I was" she said "Still am"

"I know" he started to kiss her, softly and gently, pressed tight against her she could feel what was on his mind.

"No!" she pulled away "No, not sex, not tonight"

"OK" he sighed, that had kinda been pushing his luck, he thought, though that hadn't been the motivation, he'd wanted to comfort her, the way he knew he could.

"We have too much sex" she said after a minute, her body making a complete joke of what she had just said.

He sighed "As much as it pains me, I think I agree"

"What?" Kate frowned at him "Seriously?"

"Yeah" he chuckled "Oh I love it, like really love it, but we do tend to use it as a way to..." he didn't really know the words he was searching for.

"Hide?" she suggested.

"Yeah, sorta" he nodded "I know I use it to get round you when you're mad, and you do the same, instead of talking about stuff"

"I don't!" she protested, then seeing his expression conceded "OK, maybe I do"

He laughed "Like just now" he stared at the ceiling "I was quite willing to distract you and then tomorrow, carry on like nothing had happened"

"Ummm" Kate pondered "What do we do? Ban sex and sarcastic comments? Because that's another one, witty one liners"

"Banning sex is definitely not the answer" he said "But we do need to try more verbal forms of communication maybe"

"You seduced me instead of talking to me over the whole Sam thing" she accused in a light tone.

"Don't you come that with me!" he warned "Because you are just as bad, I recall a few weeks ago saying I wanted to go see a movie, oh no, where did we end up?"

"You weren't complaining at the time" she huffed "And anyway, I didn't want to see that movie"

"Exactly" he told her "So you seduced me!"

"Maybe we need to do more normal stuff" she suggested "We haven't had a date, like dinner out by ourselves, or the movies, or even gone for a walk since we moved in here, if we haven't been at work, we've been in bed"

"Normal stuff like sleep?" he yawned.

"Uh-huh" she sighed, relaxing she mumbled "I haven't forgiven you"

"I know" he replied sleepily.

…...