A/N: *innocent blinking* Who said they didn't take advantage of the spin cycle?

Edward had been a good kid. He hadn't given his parents much trouble as a teenager. Oh, sure. There were the usual arguments, staying out past curfew a few times, but he'd been relatively easy.

And never, in his teen years, had Edward ever found himself in the position he was in now: tucked into the recesses of a girl's closet, trying his hardest not to even breathe.

Charlie was supposed to be heading down to the Rez for an extended, all weekend visit. Edward, miraculously, had the weekend off. Bella had been ecstatic - they both had been. A whole weekend they could spend together...

So almost as soon as Charlie drove off, Edward was in the house and Bella was in his arms. After being apart for over a week, they were ravenous for each other, so much so that after a thorough kiss hello, Edward had hefted her right over his shoulder and marched up the stairs with her, grinning at her giggles.

It seemed so immature - hiding in his girlfriend's closet. Immature and disrespectful. Edward toyed briefly with the idea of coming clean, but the Chief coming back home unexpectedly caught him with his pants down. Literally. There was no way he could put his pants back on without Charlie hearing.

He was stuck having to listen as Charlie spoke to Bella. Apparently, he'd forgotten something. An important gift. "Is a three month anniversary really a thing now?" he grumbled.

"Um. For high maintenance girls, maybe. I think Sue is just pulling your leg."

"Hmm. You think I should leave the gift then?"

"No!" Bella actually squeaked. "I, um.. I think you should take it. Otherwise you'd just come right back again when you change your mind."

"Why would I change my mind" Charlie asked.

"Well, just take it. Just in case. anyway, Sue will think it's cute," she said quickly.

Edward had to stop himself from banging his head against the back of the closet wall. An actress his Bella was not.

Apparently, Charlie caught that wavelength. "Bella... why are you in bed? It's not even all the way dark outside?"

Edward's heart near about stopped.

"I was reading, Dad."

There was a pause. "You sure about that, Bells?"

"Yes?"

Edward's entire body was tense. This was about to go not well.

"Because you look a little... excited to be reading."

They were so fucked.

"It's a good book," Bella said, her voice remarkably steady.

"Isabella, are you sure if I open this closet-"

"Oh, my God. Dad. It's a... sexy book, okay?" Bella blurted. "Do you understand?"

Edward's eyes went wide.

There was another long pause. Edward prayed Charlie would buy it.

"Have a good weekend." The Chief's voice was hurried, as were his footfalls down the stairs.

Relief made Edward gasp.

It was another minute or so before the closet door opened. Bella's face was still beet red. "Hey," she said quietly, holding out her hand.

Edward took her hand, letting her help him up. "That was close."

"Yeah," she agreed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"That was too close," he muttered. "This is... What we're doing..."

"Oh, please don't do that. Please?" She pushed up on her tiptoes, kissing along his chin line slowly.

He sighed, closing his eyes, tightening his arms around her. "It's just..." He laughed. "I'm twenty-three years old, hiding from my girlfriend's father in a closet."

"And I'm eighteen and just had to let my dad believe he walked in on me masturbating." She grimaced, flushing again. "Edward, please. Don't let this ruin our weekend," she pleaded. "He's gone now."

Her kisses along the edge of his mouth were very convincing. Too convincing.

She was right, though. There was nothing to be done at this point. "You don't think he forgot anything else, do you?"

Smiling, she kissed him full on the lips. "I think the image I put in his head might keep him away for a week."

"Oh, my." He kissed her, pulling her against him, his hands running up and down her back. He kissed a line to her ear. "But it's such an alluring image."

Kissing him voraciously, she twisted her hands in his shirt, pulling him down onto her bed on top of her.

A/N: Ya know... as long as you're going to hell, you might as well do it thoroughly, Edward. A wise many told me this.