A deleted scene from chapter 19 of A Change of Fortunes.
He was on his way back to the Prancing Pony, shaking his head in amusement at Fíli's misery, when he nearly walked into someone.
The somewhat large fellow, with shaggy hair to his shoulders and (sadly) a fuller beard than his own, stumbled drunkenly out of a doorway with a thick, half-eaten carrot in one hand. Kíli steadied him as well as he could before the man mumbled something unintelligible and walked off, then looked toward the establishment the fellow had exited.
It was a brothel, given the highly suggestive clothing worn by the females he could now glimpse through the large window by the door. Quite likely the one his brother had paid visit to. In spite of himself Kíli found his attention drawn, and he watched the people inside somewhat mesmerized by the way the "ladies" of the house seemed to hold sway over the men. It seemed they had only to bat their eyes, purse their lips, or pretend to simper and the man on whom they were focused would do or give them whatever they desired.
Was this the fantasy Fee had spoken of? If that were so, it did not seem a very fulfilling one.
"Thinking of going for a tumble?"
Kíli nearly jumped out of his skin at the deep rumble that came from his left. "Mahal's hammer, Dwalin! How the razâd can a brute like you sneak up on a dwarf like that?"
The warrior's thick arms were crossed over his chest and a smirk was about his face. "It pays to have a marketable skill set."
A moment of silence passed, and then, "Well? Are you?"
Kíli glanced to the window once more to find one of the girls actually staring at him. She crooked her finger and smiled invitingly, but he could only give a half-hearted smile in return before he shook his head and turned to walk away.
Dwalin fell into step beside him. Silence was their companion for a minute or so until Kíli boldly asked, "Have you ever lain with a daughter of men, Dwalin?"
"In my youth, lad."
"Was it just to get rid of your virginity, or did you do it for the pleasure?"
Dwalin glanced sideways at him. "To be perfectly honest, a little of both. The first step I ever took into a Men's brothel was to satisfy my curiosity, to see what the talk was all about. And yes, I wanted to give in to my lust like any other young dwarrow—I had desires that could not be fully sated otherwise. Every time I went back or visited another, it was purely for the pleasure."
From the corner of his eye, Kíli noted a sly smile beginning to play over the other dwarf's lips. "There are some females of that…profession…who do what they do not because they've no other choice, but because they truly enjoy pleasuring males. Those are the ones to seek, Kíli, should you ever give it a go. Not only do they take the time to learn what males enjoy in the bedding, but they're the best ones to teach you what is likely to please other females."
"Do you think the ladies swap stories, asking each other what their…visitors…did to them, to see if there's anything new they'd care to try?"
A loud guffaw was his immediate answer, and then, "I think females of any species or station are as like to talk of sex as males are."
"Fíli rather enjoys the girls," Kíli said then.
"Old news, that."
"It's nearly the only thing we don't have in common—that kind of pleasure seeking simply isn't for me."
Dwalin snorted softly. "That's no news to me, either."
"I want to fall in love, Dwalin," he confessed next, surprising himself even as the words passed through his lips. He'd only ever said that to Bronwë.
His companion stopped and turned to him. "Do you think the rest of us don't?"
Kíli gestured toward the Prancing Pony, still a block away. "I know it's the last thing on Thorin's mind," he said, then tilted his head back and looked up at the sky, noting there were a few stars sparkling between the clouds.
"I thought I'd found her. There was just something about Tauriel… I really thought she could be my One."
Looking back to Dwalin again, he added, "What if my survival wasn't the only thing changed when Azog was resurrected? What if Tauriel and I were meant to be together, and that destiny was lost to us because of the fecking Necromancer and his black magic?"
Dwalin's arms dropped slowly to his sides as he heaved a sigh. "Meant to be does not always mean meant to last, laddie. If you want my honest opinion—"
Kíli frowned. "I swear, if you say no dwarf should lay with an elf I will throat punch you. I got enough of that from Thorin."
An eyebrow rose on the other dwarf's face. "You and Tauriel would never have lasted," he said after a moment. "Oh, to be sure it would have been a passionate affair, but some flames that are born are doomed to die."
Frowning again, Kíli said, "I don't get your meaning."
"Kíli, our people were born from rock in the fires of the Great Forge. In our souls that fire burns eternal—'tis why Mahal calls us back to him when we die. Tauriel also has a fire in her, unlike any elf I've ever known. But fire cannot be calmed by fire—it can only be checked by ice. And so as our Maker's bride keeps his fire tame, keeps it from burning out of control and consuming the world, we must each of us seek the ice to match our fire. You and Tauriel would have burned each other out because both of you are spirits born of fire."
Never in all his life had Kíli heard Dwalin speak so philosophically. But then neither had he ever had such a deeply personal conversation with the other dwarf before. It was something of a pleasant surprise to know that he felt as keenly, thought as strongly, as any other.
But still he did not quite understand. "So what are you saying? That the reason the dwarf population is dwindling is because we're all born of fire?"
"That I cannot say," Dwalin replied with a shrug, "though it is certainly a possibility—a very sad possibility. The point I am trying to make, however, is that while I don't doubt your feelings for Tauriel were genuine, you should not discount the possibility that like she, you might yet meet the One who completes you. It does not do to dwell on dreams, lad, and forget to live."
Move on with your life were words left unspoken, but Kíli heard them just the same. What Dwalin had said felt as a cut to the bone, but an old saying was that the truth hurt. And to think that even had he lived he and Tauriel might not be together now…
Maybe Dwalin and Fíli were right. Maybe it would not have worked out between them in the end. But acknowledging that didn't mean he was ready to move on to another, did not even mean his One was still out there, waiting to be found.
If she had ever existed at all.
Heaving a great sigh, Kíli started off again, and said nothing more until they'd reached the inn and Dwalin's hand was on the doorknob. Something the older dwarf had said before had made him curious enough to ask,
"Have you ever been in love, Dwalin? I mean, did you ever think you'd met your One?"
Dwalin turned back to him. "Aye, once. 'Twas a dwarrow lass more beautiful than any I'd ever known. But she had an intimidating, over-protective brother and a father who suffered no fools, and by the time I'd worked up the courage to seek permission to court her, she'd met your father."