Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Final Fantasy VII in any way, shape, or form. I own nothing!

Harmonies for the Haunted:

Part X

There is no despair so absolute as that which comes with the first moments of our first great sorrow,

When we have not yet known what it is to have suffered and healed,

To have despaired and have recovered hope.

- George Eliot

Client Name – Elmyra Gainsborough

Delivery Item – Bouquet

Destination – The Forgotten City

Elmyra Gainsborough

The name couldn't have been more glaring if it was in neon letters and all he could do was sit at his desk with his hands in his hair and stare at it.

Cloud couldn't remember how long he'd been in his office staring at this particular slip of paper. He'd kind of zoned out after he stumbled upon it.

It shouldn't be that surprising. Elmyra had consistently ordered the same delivery around the same time of year since Aerith died but seeing it on paper never really got easier. It still stunned him with guilt and remorse, reminding him of all his failures and shortcomings.

"Cloud? What's wrong?"

He didn't have to look to know Tifa had entered his office and was now towering over him, looking over his shoulder and down at the desk at the object that firmly held his attention.

She was silent for a moment, waiting for him to respond. When she realized that he wasn't going to, she snatched the piece of paper off his desk and he didn't even move to stop her. Not too long ago he would have been more adamant and would have fought to keep this to himself like he had for the past few years but not this time.

"Does she ask you to do this every year?" she inquired gently, her eyes not leaving the order.

Cloud managed to nod, finally becoming a bit more lucid.

There was another moment of prolonged silence as Tifa gingerly placed the order slip back onto his desk.

"Have you seen her since…?"

"No," he interrupted.

No. He hadn't seen poor Elmyra Gainsborough since he, Barret, and Tifa had gone to Kalm after Sephiroth was defeated to retrieve Marlene and tell poor Elmyra that her daughter was dead.

Tifa nodded then sighed as she leaned the back of her hips against his desk.

"Maybe…" she hesitated. "Maybe you should."

"What good would it do?"

"Maybe it could give you some closure, make this kind of thing less…painful."

"Or make it worse," he grunted, folding his arms over his chest and reclining in his chair.

She sighed again. "Elmyra Gainsborough aside, I don't think this is something you should do alone."

Cloud knew she was right and that she was worried, justifiably so. He knew for a fact that this kind of thing wasn't good for him but he didn't know if bringing her into it would make a difference. All he could think of was how much she'd cried when the returned to Aerith's church after Meteorfall and how she'd stood behind Barret looking like a ghost as he'd told Elmyra what had happened to Aerith. Frankly, this kind of thing wasn't good for anyone, including her.

"The kids and I could go with you. Maybe we could make a day of it. It might be easier that way, especially if you decide to see Elmyra. You know, Marlene used to ask to go back and see her…"

He remembered. He remembered the daily pleadings and the daily refusals. Marlene would ask to visit the woman who'd cared for her while they were off chasing Sephiroth and they would always coarsely refuse. It was just too hard. Neither of them could face Elmyra after breaking that unbearable news to her and Marlene quickly caught on that even the subject of Elmyra Gainsborough was forbidden territory.

"I don't know…" Cloud propped his elbows up on his desk and buried his face in his hands.

"Just think about it, okay?" She placed a gentle hand on his back between his tense shoulder blades. "I'll support you no matter what but I really think it would be good for all of us."

Us. If she had said just you, he probably would have put this conversation away with all the other stuff that he didn't like to think about until he was reminded of it again this time next year but because she had said us that somehow changed everything. It was a reminder that this wasn't just about him. There were others involved.

The warmth of Tifa's hand left his back and she began leaving the room but hesitated in the doorway. "But if this is one of those things you need to do alone, I understand."

Cloud glanced over his shoulder at her, making eye contact with her for the first time since she'd entered the room and nodded stiffly.

She smiled before gently shutting the door behind her, leaving him alone with his thoughts, her suggestion, and that name on that slip of paper.

After a lot of thought and playing out all of the worst-case scenarios in his head, Cloud decided that doing this particular delivery with Tifa and the kids wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Thus, he'd decided to make a day out of it like Tifa had suggested. If he was going to go to confront these particular demons, he was going to do it right and preferably, all at once. He was going to do it while he actually had the nerve and the resolve and without drawing it out.

As a result, Cloud had suggested they go to Aerith's church in Midgar first. It seemed like the appropriate thing to do. Marlene had been asking to go lately anyway and he felt like he needed to finally keep his word and bring Tifa to the church with him.

Of course, Marlene had been overjoyed at the prospect of all of them going together while Tifa was supportive but kept her distance as if to keep from walking on sacred ground or inserting herself somewhere where she didn't belong. She was always…cautious.

As they crossed the church's threshold, he would admit that it saddened him a bit to see where the water used to heal them of Geostigma had washed away all of the flowers. He'd even been expecting to see them until the brown sea of earth came into view. What was once almost glaringly bright and full of life was now a soggy patch of dirt littered with wood that had once made up some of the church flooring as a result of all the water that had stood there not too long ago.

A part of him wished the pool of petal kissed water that had healed Denzel and dozens of other kids was still there instead. It was different but it wasn't an eyesore like this was.

Marlene made a beeline for the front of the church, hauling Denzel to the now barren flowerbed with her. He seemed reluctant but humored her nonetheless.

Cloud and Tifa, however, stayed near the entrance, lingering by the doorway as they watched the kids talk amongst themselves and inspect the patch of dirt that once sired dozens of white and yellow flowers.

"Thanks for bringing us with you," Tifa whispered.

With a half smile, Cloud nodded. He knew how much this meant to her. It was a big step. Even though she'd continually asked him in the past to not go to the church alone, he'd never followed though.

"I know it's hard but I really think this is a good thing," she continued as she took a few steps towards him and closed the gap between them.

He knew she was right and that this would be a big step forward in the healing process, but that wouldn't make this delivery or facing poor Elmyra Gainsborough any easier. It couldn't possibly be worse than when he'd had to tell her Aerith was dead but that didn't mean it would be pleasant either. However, it was something that probably needed to be done if he really wanted to heal, to live without feeling broken or handicapped.

"I miss the flowers," Marlene declared as she approached them with Denzel on her heels.

Tifa's eyes go to the front of the church and lock onto Aerith's barren flowerbed. "Maybe you can plant some more."

"They'll grow back," Cloud said matter-of-factly. "It'll just take time."

That seemed to be a recurring theme in his life lately. He was learning that things just needed time to recover, whether it be people or flowers. After something traumatic, you just need time to heal. There isn't some magical switch you can flip that will magically make you better. It just wasn't that simple.

"Can we help?" Marlene asked.

Oh, the symbolism! Cloud suddenly felt like this flowerbed…what was left of it anyway. He was suddenly a clean slate. Everything old was gone, washed away and now there was room for something new and fresh but there was nothing yet. There was nothing necessarily pretty about what he looked like now, an empty flowerbed of rippling brown, but there were little flickers of green peaking out. Life was budding. There was promise. There was hope and there were possibilities.

"Of course." Tifa smiled. "I'm sure Cloud wouldn't mind bringing you from time to time so you could tend to them?"

"Sure." He gave a nod and gazed back the budding flowers. "I think she'd like that."

After spending the morning at Aerith's church, they made their way to Kalm.

The last time Cloud checked, Elmyra was living there with her sister and niece, the same relatives she'd been staying with the day they'd returned after Meteorfall to retrieve Marlene and inform Elmyra of what had become of her daughter… At the time, Cloud hadn't cared enough to ask whom she'd been with. He just knew it was two relatives and that had been enough for him. Details simply hadn't mattered.

Tifa visibly paled as they approached the house, likely recognizing it from the last time they'd been there. Her expression was eerily similar to how it had been that day but it wasn't as heavy. Like him, she was lighter now but the burden was still carried with them every day.

He remembered that day clearly. They probably would have never knocked on that door at all if Barret hadn't been with them. He remembered standing outside this very door for what felt like hours with Tifa pressed to his side as he tried to muster the courage to go in and say what had to be said.

"You okay?" he asked lowly.

She jerked to attention and looked up at him, clearly surprised that he was turning the tables on her. Usually, she was the one asking if he was okay.

"I think so... Are you?"

"I'm okay right now," Cloud replied honestly because he really didn't know how long the sense of okay would last.

Again, they were outside the same door they'd stood before years ago, side-by-side as they tried to muster the courage to confront Aerith's mother. At this the circumstances were different this time…

When he'd done this particular delivery last year, he'd avoided this all together. He'd asked the post office to pick up the bouquet she wanted delivered so he wouldn't have to face Elmyra at all. All he had to do was go to Kalm, pick up the bouquet, and then take it to the Forgotten City but ignoring Elmyra hadn't made any of that any easier. It had still been a horrible day that had left him in an awful mental state for at least a week.

Cloud decided to treat this like a bandage. He needed to just rip it off, so he knocked but regretted doing so almost immediately. He suddenly wanted to go back to the church. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and feel it throbbing behind his eyes.

Tifa shrank away from the door with him as if a dragon might bust out but Denzel and Marlene boldly stood there, waiting for whoever might answer eagerly.

Cloud envied their courage.

The doorknob rattled and the door creaked open on rusty hinges and Cloud's heart stopped.

A woman who favored Elmyra eyed them from the partially opened door. Her hair was just above her shoulders and was pulled back with a red bandana. She wore a dress of a similar color beneath a slightly stained apron that was wrapped haphazardly around her waist.

Her hair was the same brownish color as Elmyra's but her eyes were lighter. The two were obviously sisters even though they didn't necessarily look alike.

"Is – Is Elmyra here?" he stuttered.

The woman nodded and smiled a bit, likely recognizing them from their last visit. "One moment."

Her footsteps faded and faint voices could be heard inside. Tension built inside his gut again until he felt the back of Tifa's fingertips brush the back of his hand. His fingers responded and twitched at the sensation and within seconds, she'd taken hold of them. It wasn't much but it did calm him down substantially. It was like he was drowning and she'd suddenly thrown him a life preserver. He could even hear her in his head telling him that it was okay, that he could do this, that they could do this.

Suddenly, the door was cracking open again and this time, the woman behind it didn't just look like Elmyra. It was Elmyra. Her hair was still in the high bun she'd always worn but the hair pulled back into it was more white than brown now and there were more creases and wrinkles under her brown eyes.

Like the green dress she still wore, she looked more worn than he remembered…or maybe he just didn't want to remember.

"Cloud? Cloud Strife?" Elmyra mused, sounding a bit uncertain but he was quite sure she knew very well that it was him. He doubted anyone would be able to forget the man who hauled the child they'd raised as their own into the ultimate fray only to have him return once the battle was over to inform her that said daughter had died during the struggle.

He froze up at the sight of her and he had no words for her. He simply offered his pathetic imitation of a smile.

"And Tifa and Marlene too." Elmyra smiled, her features brightening significantly.

"Hello, Mrs. Gainsborough," Tifa greeted warmly.

"And who's this?" the older woman asked, her eyes darting to Denzel.

"This is Denzel. He lost his family in the plate collapse. Cloud found him not too long afterwards and he's been with us ever since." Tifa beamed like a proud mother as she placed her hands on his shoulders and to his surprise, Denzel didn't immediately shrug them off.

"It's nice to meet you, Denzel." Aerith's mother smiled again before opening the door. "Come on in! Make yourselves at home."

No. No, no, no. This wasn't how this was supposed to work. It was supposed to be quick and painless.

"That's not necessary," he said even though Marlene and Denzel were already heading inside and preparing to make themselves at home. "We were just in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by and pick up the bouquet you wanted me to deliver."

Like the coward he was, he couldn't bring himself to say her name aloud. Hell, he couldn't even bring himself to utter the name of her final resting place.

"I'll be happy to go get it for you but you are more than welcome to stay for lunch," she replied.

"No. We—"

"Can we, Cloud?" Marlene asked anxiously as she tugged on his forearm.

He was reluctant. In fact, he was more than reluctant. Cloud would call it adamant. Yes, he would say that he was downright adamant about staying and Cloud was not necessarily a pushover but saying no to Marlene suddenly felt impossible. She undoubtedly wanted more time with Elmyra…and the feeling was probably mutual.

Desperate, he glanced back at Tifa. "Do you mind?"

Tifa looked at a loss as she folded her arms so tightly that her shoulders almost grazed her earlobes. She shook her head a bit before softly saying, "If she doesn't…"

Cloud's eyes reluctantly rose to meet Elmyra's.

"It's fine, I promise," she insisted after successfully reading their thoughts. "We'd be happy to have some company for a change. I can't tell you how long it's been since we've had visitors."

And just like that she was off to the kitchen with the kids, leaving Cloud feeling baffled and disarmed because he simply didn't know how to handle how okay she was with them invading her home. It was awkward but he supposed it could be a lot worse. Besides, she and Marlene seemed genuinely happy to see each other and that was enough to make this whole trip worth it.

During their meal, Elmyra had politely introduced him to her sister and niece as one of Aerith' dearest friends, someone who had been very important to her. She forgot to say that he was the bastard who'd gotten her killed.

She then proceeded to introduce Tifa in a similar fashion before collectively introducing her and the kids as his family, something that fit surprisingly well. It made him warm and caused his chest to swell with a modest amount of pride and only a small amount of embarrassment and shame. It didn't feel entirely right but it didn't feel wrong either. Not to mention, Tifa and the kids seemed surprisingly okay with the label.

Conversation floated around heavily and he participated as best he could although his heart wasn't really into it. He'd always been a man a few words and that often translated poorly, making him come across as rude or ungrateful even when he wasn't trying to come off that way.

They'd discussed the weather, his delivery service, and she'd asked about their life over the past few years. They'd told her about Denzel and he'd tiptoed around the subject of Tifa and how they lived together and were trying their best to raise Denzel and Marlene. He didn't want to spur more questions than necessary, and explaining the dynamic of his life with Tifa was a complicated endeavor in even the most ideal of situations…much less this one. He had no idea how Elmyra would feel about it.

More than anything, she talked to the kids, which was probably the biggest reason she'd asked them to stay for lunch. She probably couldn't care less about him and Tifa but she was genuinely fond of Marlene and after he and Tifa briefly told her how they thought Denzel was a gift from Aerith, she'd seemed rather taken with him as well.

"We should probably get going," he declared, rising to his feet once Marlene finished telling Elmyra about Barret and all the oil fields he'd found. "If you'll give me the bouquet you want delivered, we'll get out of your hair.

"Oh! Right. Give me a moment. I'll go get it for you."

Elmyra scurried out of the room and ventured up the nearby stairwell until she was out of sight.

Once she was gone, they proceeded to thank Elmyra's sister and niece for lunch and said their goodbyes. After that they ventured to the living room where they waited for Elmyra to return.

Leaning against the nearest wall, he watched Tifa as she aimlessly wandered through the room.

She eyed the various pictures than hung on the paisley walls as well as the other homey décor scattered through the space. She strolled around until she reached the old piano in the corner then stopped abruptly.

The next thing he knew, he was standing beside her and watching her every move closely.

Her fingers ghosted along the bleached keys, her eyes distant. Cloud hovered over her and privately wished he knew how to play Chopsticks.

Man, my sense of humor sucks…

"Remember how to play?" he asked instead.

"You mean you actually remember me playing?" she mused, sounding sarcastic yet genuinely surprised.

"I do."

FLASH

The melody trickled out of her open window and down into his front yard. The familiar reverberation of ivory and taut strings meshing together in perfect harmony wriggled into his ears, giving him a strange sense of tranquility, making the world seem small.

Back slightly slouched, he sat on one of the steps that led into his home, one knee pulled to his chest and an apple in his mouth.

He sat there on the middle step, listening to her play and absentmindedly watching the town slowly come to life and hum with activity. His attention, however, was never far from the Lockhart house not even a few yards away. His eyes continually wandered to the window that he knew was connected to Tifa Lockhart's room, knowing Tifa herself was not far from it.

She'd ventured back into her home for lunch not too long ago and had yet to reappear but Cloud would be there once she did, which was why he was taking his sweet time eating the apple he'd snatched out of the fruit bowel on his way out of his house. Once she finished her daily piano practice, she would come back out and he'd be able to see her up close, maybe even talk to her if he was lucky.

As he waited, he played through all the possible scenarios in his head and figured out the appropriate responses and reactions for each.

Cloud was confident in his capabilities. He felt like he could be smooth. He could impress her, right?

After what felt like ages, she finally emerged again, clad in that pretty little blue dress she'd been favoring of late. It hugged her still developing curves in all the right ways, making Cloud shift uncomfortably on the concrete step as a result and he wasn't even entirely sure why.

"Hey, Cloud," she greeted casually as she made her way past him, a hint of a smile teasing her lips.

Mouth full of partially chewed apple, he could only grunt and wave in response but it was enough. Waiting in that spot all afternoon was instantly worth it. That was what he had waited for all evening and while it wouldn't seem like much to anyone else, it was a lot to him…even if he hadn't been as smooth as he'd hoped…

FLASH

"You used to play every day around lunchtime," he mused, suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was now stating his thoughts aloud.

"That's right," she replied with a wistful grin as she lightly pressed on one of the white keys.

"I used to wait outside and listen to you."

"Really? Why?" Tifa chuckled as she placed another finger on another nearby key.

Cloud blushed. "You know why…"

Tifa's cheeks tinted red as well. "Still, I wasn't very good."

"Sounded good to me."

In fact, it had sounded great to him. He'd thought it was the most beautiful sound on the Planet simply because she was the one creating it. To him, the greatest actress on the Planet reciting all five acts of Loveless would have paled in comparison to her playing.

"I suppose I got the hang of it but it didn't come naturally. It took a lot of effort but I was determined to at least somewhat master it. Mother always wanted me to be able to play. I started getting lessons when she was still alive and I felt obligated to continue after she was gone. I guess it was kind of my way of trying to make her proud."

That explained a lot. Tifa was naturally gifted at a lot of things but she was better at even more because she worked so hard and she worked hard to make her mother proud and to compensate for her loss once she was gone. She wanted to excel at everything to appease her parents in one form or another. Excelling would make her mother happy and keep some of her widowed father's sadness at bay.

She'd done a great job. She was everything a father would have wanted in a daughter. Then Sephiroth killed him and all of her energy went into lessons with Zangan and ultimately, AVALANCE. Now he supposed she put it all into him and the kids, it went into keeping their little family together at its fraying seams.

Tifa played a soft little melody. He didn't even know pianos were capable of making that soft a sound. It was like the flutter of angel's wings, a tiny whisper but it still caught Marlene and Denzel's attention and they were suddenly making a beeline for Tifa and the aged instrument.

"You play the piano?" Denzel gawked, inspecting both Tifa and the piano with harsh scrutiny as if to ensure he wasn't being fooled or tricked.

Tifa smiled. "A little."

She continued to play a little piece to demonstrate her rusty skill to the kids and he recognized it instantly. It was one of the many tunes she'd play as he listened to her from outside. It was one of his favorites, one that would stick in his head long after she'd stopped playing and he'd find himself humming it as he went about his day. Once he'd come home subconsciously humming it. He hadn't even known he was humming until Mother told him it was pretty and asked where he'd heard it.

"I don't know if I've ever seen you smile before."

Cloud jerked and saw Elmyra looking up at him with an amused look on her face and a bouquet of bright yellow flowers in her arms.

I'm smiling? Huh. I guess I am…

"You've always had this humorless air to you," she mused as she placed the flowers on the nearby coffee table. "Even back then you walked around like you had the Planet on your shoulders. Then after Meteorfall you looked so broken that I wondered if you would ever piece yourself back together but I can see now that you have."

"I don't know about that but…I'm trying."

"Good. That's what Aerith would want. She would want you happy and I think you and Tifa are right about Denzel. I believe that he was her way of trying to help you find some peace and happiness."

"She did always have this way of knowing what people needed." He looked down at the bouquet of flowers and he didn't have to ask to know where these particular flowers had come from. They were from Elmyra's yard back in Midgar, which meant they hadn't been destroyed after Meteor after all.

Elmyra followed his gaze to the flowers then back to Tifa and the kids.

"Are you and Tifa…?" Elmyra couldn't finish the sentence anymore than he could really answer it.

A grimace was his only response.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry or make you uncomfortable. Since you two live together, I just assumed…"

Cloud was not equipped to handle this. Plain and simple. This was exactly the kind of things he'd wanted to avoid.

Elmyra smiled at his unease. "Aerith wouldn't care one way or another as long as you're happy."

He nodded, knowing it was true but that had never stopped the guilt he'd felt for being happy. Happiness had been part of his cycle of misery. It was part of the reason he'd lived the way he had for so long.

She was suddenly laughing to herself. "You know, somehow, I always knew it was going to be her."

Cloud's brow furrowed with intense confusion. What was that supposed to mean?

"I think I knew from the moment she walked into my house with you and Aerith. And I think – I think Aerith knew it too in one form or another…that in the end, it would be Tifa."

That honestly wouldn't really surprise him. Aerith just…knew things and if she had anticipated or sensed that particular possibility, then that would explain why she acted the way she had sometimes.

"I said that I wanted you to stay away because of Zack, because you were another SOLDIER. I didn't want Aerith to be in danger or to go through another heartbreak, but there was something else about you that made me anxious... I think I sensed Tifa's mark on you before I ever laid eyes on her and when she came in with you, all long black hair and big doe eyes… Call it a mother's intuition but somehow, I just knew."

Cloud gazed down at her and thought of apologizing again for all the grief and pain he'd caused them but felt like she wasn't asking him to. It was like she was merely stating fact, like she was trying to give him peace or maybe even wipe away some of his confusion.

At that moment, he realized that in a way, Elmyra was right. Even when he couldn't remember Tifa the way he remembered he now, even when the memories and those old feelings were forgotten and faded, even when he wasn't really Cloud, Tifa had always pulsed with life in that pathetic weary thing he had the gall to call a heart. Maybe… Maybe it had always been Tifa.

A/N: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

This chapter was a bit different. It was Cloti but without the usual fluff. I slowed down a bit for this one to confront some necessary evils. Cloud has to heal in order to be a good man for Tifa, you know? And a think this was a big healing chapter. Not that the others weren't about healing but to me, this one was a bit more direct. Maybe you enjoyed it all the same even though it wasn't like the last few chapters. But, hey, what's the fun in a redundant, predictable story? Everyone likes a little change of pace every now and then, right?

Also, how would you guys feel about a Cloti story starting when Cloud and Tifa meet and finishing after the Nibelhiem incident? The flashback in this chapter was fun to write and I got on a roll and wrote several others like it and I was on the fence about whether to wedge them into this story or to just write a new Cloti story solely dedicated to pre Mako poisoning Cloud and his life in Nibelhiem before joining SOLDIER. What do you guys think?

Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed Part X!