CHAPTER 10
She set her empty box on the coffee table and replaced it in her hand by her glass of wine. As she took a sip, she glanced up at Castle who was finishing his own box of noodles.
After her embarrassing breakdown in the conference room, she'd gone back to work, mentally praying that Castle wouldn't pursue the matter further. He didn't. He had simply left the precinct, leaving behind a bag in which she had found one of her larger sweaters. That night, she had put that sweater on and had fallen asleep in the comfort of his scent surrounding her.
He hadn't come back to the station.
So, when his scent had started to fade away, she had called him.
There was no murder, no investigation and no emergency, except a personal one; a desire, a need to see him, to fill the emptiness in her life.
The next day she had gone with him to the hospital and they had taken the sling off for good. To celebrate, he had invited her to what he had advertised as "the best restaurant in town". An hour later they were eating Chinese out of card-boxes in his living-room.
He hadn't brought up their night together nor their conference room conversation. No. They had spent their diner talking about everything and anything, mostly work, his next book, his joy of having two valid arms again...
"You look awfully serious Beckett."
Also, he hadn't used her first name since that day.
She set her glass on the coffee table and turned to him, folding a leg under the other.
"Castle, we never talked about that night we spent together..."
He sat in a similar way as she did, facing her as well.
"Did you want to talk about it?" he asked.
"Didn't you?"
It was time for her to take that step forward. And the next one. And the one after that. She had the power to decide of their future and she knew it. She had seen Castle's cards. It was time to show him hers.
"I'm sorry. For so many things I can't even begin to list them." she started, her eyes focused on her hands "You may have noticed I'm not really good at the talking thing..."
She lifted her eyes to him.
"I care about you Richard. Probably more than I care to admit..."
He smiled at her confession and the use of his first name and she responded in kind.
"I don't want you at my work because I need to know that you're safe. But... when you're not around, I... well I... you know."
She took one of his hands and studied it carefully, avoiding eye contact.
"Kate? When I'm not around, what?"
In the end, she decided to look at him, at least to give him the stink eye.
"You know what."
"Maybe so. But I wouldn't mind hearing it."
When she saw the cocky grin on his face she wondered if her threatening looks had lost all their power over him... She sighed and examined the palm of his hand a moment before answering, looking him straight in the eyes.
"I miss you. When you're not around, I miss you. Happy?"
His answer was a large satisfied grin. Then he grew serious again.
"I miss you too Kate."
They watched each other in silence for a moment, their hands playing together on their own accord.
"Can I say something?" he didn't wait for her approval and continued "You won't always be able to protect me Kate. If my incident served any purpose it was to show us that I don't need to be at work to be in danger. We live in New-York for Christ sake! If you wanted to protect me all the time you'd have to stay by my side twenty-four seven... Actually... come to think of it, I wouldn't mind that!"
The look she gave him reminded him to stay focused on his point.
"What I mean is that shadowing you at work does not put me in any more danger than walking down the street at night. If anything I'm actually safer being by your side wouldn't you say?"
"But when you're around, I'm constantly worried that something may happen to you" she countered "and... I can't afford the distraction Rick. We've seen how bad it was when I worked Amy's case... I I wanted so badly, no, I needed so badly to catch the guys who had hurt you, I completely botched my murder investigation... I can't make that mistake again."
He took her second hand and placed them both on his chest.
"First of all, we already talked about this. You have nothing to feel guilty about when it comes to that murder and, may I remind you that in the end you caught the bad guy? Second point... you only worry about me when I'm around?" he asked with a mock outraged voice.
"Richard..." she warned.
He smiled and placed her hands on his knees.
"Kate can I ask you something?" again, he did not wait for her answer to ask "would you give your life for Ryan and Esposito?"
"Of course but..."
"Right. You'd give your life for them because they are your partners, just like you'd risk your life for me because I, too, am your partner. It's what you do. It's who you are. The situation is exactly the same for them as it is for me, except you didn't sleep with Ryan and Esposito."
He frowned.
"You didn't sleep with Ryan and Esposito, right?"
"Castle!"
"Just cheking. Face it Kate, there is no way I'm gonna stop shadowing you and any way... you miss me too much when I'm gone..."
A wink. And smile.
"You'd take a bullet for me and I'll keep coming out of the car. Let's just accept that we are both romantic fools who would die for each other and move on. I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't." he concluded with a wicked smile.
She'd never cease to be amazed at his ability to go from a serious conversation to being a complete idiot. She'd never stop loving him for it.
"It's as simple as that, huh?"
"Why not?"
Yes, why not?
He leaned closer to her and she felt his warm lips against hers. She immediately responded to his kiss and very quickly their tongues found each other once again, tasting, exploring.
When they drew apart, he put a hand on each side of her face and admired her.
She saw that look again in his eyes, caring, tender, full of admiration. She liked the way he looked at her. She didn't know what he saw in her, she didn't get his fascination, but she liked it.
"You are so beautiful" he whispered.
His words sent shivers down her spine and made her blush at the same time.
When he traced the outline of her lips with a finger, she parted them slightly and captured his index in her mouth. Her eyes locked into his, she swirled her tongue around his finger, sucking and licking it like a Popsicle. She gave him a very satisfied smile when she saw the undeniable arousal on his face.
Changing her position on the couch, she drew closer to Richard and he unfolded his legs, seating upright on the couch. She took advantage of his new position to sit on him, straddling his thighs.
She threaded her fingers in his hair as he placed his on her back. She leaned down and their mouths met again for a dance they now knew by heart.
She felt his hands slide under her blouse and the contact of his hands on her flesh triggered a wave of desire that rippled through her body. She instantly started unbuttoning her blouse, the need to feel his naked flesh against hers growing stronger with each of his caresses.
He understood her needs and as she frantically undid her buttons, he lifted his own t-shirt and discarded it on the floor where her blouse quickly joined it.
She put both her hands on his torso, caressing him gently. She stopped when her fingers touched one of the two scars on his side. She had probably seen them before, but she hadn't paid any attention to them the first time. She brushed them lightly, one at a time, feeling a slight pang in her heart.
He saw her bite her lip, a sign he recognized too well.
He stroked her cheek tenderly, replacing a few strands of hair behind her ear in the process.
"Kate?"
She looked up at him.
"Are you okay."
She simply nodded, her hand still resting on his scars.
He slid his hand from her cheek along her jawline. She tilted her head back, allowing his hand to continue down her neck, onto her shoulder. He found a strap and slowly pushed it off her shoulder before continuing his caresses along her collarbone until he reached the rim of her dark-blue bra. He glided a finger along its edges across her chest to the other shoulder; when he found the other strap he pushed it off as well.
His mouth replaced his fingers and he followed the same path from her shoulder, along her bra, to her other shoulder, leaving behind a trail of fiery kisses.
He could feel her flesh turning hot under his lips, he could see her chest rising and falling faster and he heard her moan.
"Richard..."
Her voice, hoarse with desire, calling his name, pleading...
His hands circled around her back to unhook the superfluous piece of clothing.
When she was free from it, she leaned backwards slightly while he held her with own arm; with his other hand, he explored the newly exposed flesh. And soon enough, his mouth replaced his hand.
She slid her hands behind his shoulders, digging her fingers into his flesh, each flick of his tongue on her skin fueling her rapidly growing desire.
When he felt her hips starting to move above him, his arousal reached a new level that couldn't be denied anymore. He folded his arms around her waist, tightly holding her and got up, lifting her in his arms as he rose.
She let out a surprised yelp and promptly wrapped her legs around him.
She stared down at him, clearly stunned and slightly impressed.
"Richard Castle... you are full of surprises."
He smiled proudly.
As he took her to his bedroom, she explored his neck with her tongue, allowing for a welcome distraction from the pain that was shooting from his side and shoulder, obviously unhappy about the strain they were subjected to so early into his recovery.
When they finally reached the bedroom, he sat her down on the edge of his bed.
From her seated position, her hands quickly latched onto the buttons of his pants, undid them and slid the garment down his legs.
From there, her focus was drawn again to the two scars just above his hips. She pulled him closer and lay tender kisses on each of them.
The feel of her wet lips so low along his abdomen made him shiver in pleasure. He leaned over her, forcing her down on the bed. He started unbuttoning her jeans and as she crawled backwards on the bed, he slid them off her legs and sent them on top of his pants.
He wanted to observe her a moment, taking in her undeniable beauty as she lay there, naked, on his bed. He wanted to memorize every line, every detail of her body, exploring it with his fingers, his lips, his tongue... But the sight of the stunning woman he had desired for so long, loved for so long waiting for him to kiss her and take her was too much for him and he lay himself on top of her.
He stopped a few inches away from her face and stared deep into her green eyes. His heaven, his refuge.
"Kate..." he whispered, tenderly stroking her cheek "will you still be here in the morning?"
She slid her hands behind his neck, forcing him down to her and kissed him lovingly.
"I promise" she answered in a breathe as she captured his mouth once more in a passionate kiss.