Chapter X Songless
A/N: Tons of things are getting crossed off in my notebook now! Huzzah!
Thank you all for waiting so long! Here is a reward for your patience... nearly 4,000 words.
I apologize for this chapter (what I reveal, at least) in advance. I'm certain it will be aggravating for some.
"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
Malachy McCourt
"This is a mistake!" Azula yelled, trying to keep up with her brother's long strides. Some days she loathed being shorter than most of her opponents more than anything else.
Her limbs were aching after being in bed for too long and she was desperately attempting to keep the overlarge robe closed. "You can't mobilize the army, Long Feng has ears everywhere." Ishouldknow. "What will he think when you show up on his doorstep? You can't even be sure he's behind this." Butheis.
"It makes perfect sense. If Long Feng did free him, Father would be honor-bound to owe him a debt of gratitude." The Fire Lord said gruffly.
"It's positively adorable that you still think father would actually repay a debt of gratitude, but I'm sure Long Feng does not share that logic."
He glanced at her, his expression was riddled with condescension and annoyance. "Azula, father himself taught me about honor…"
"Zuko, you pathetically hopeless bastard." She said with feeling. Zuko looked taken aback. "Isn't it obvious to you by now that honor is self-endowed? One simply has to say "I am honorable." Why do you let other people define honor for you? I certainly don't." She said proudly.
"And look where it's gotten you. How are you enjoying your gilded cage?"
Couldbealotworse. She thought, remembering the temple. "I'm not having this argument with you. You're clearly irrational, you probably value honor over your own life. And believe me Zuko; there will come a time when honor is worthless to you." They glared at each other for a long moment. "What if he isn't involved? How do you justify going to see him then?"
Zuko refused to face her as they entered his study. "If Long Feng isn't involved we will convince him to unite with us against a common enemy." He tried to disregard her words and looked out on the city in the brightening darkness of the early morning.
"That will take some convincing." She scoffed, lighting the torches and lanterns with unassuming orange flames.
"That's why I'm bringing you." He said begrudgingly, clasping his hands behind his back.
"You… what?" She spluttered, fighting a massive unexpected coughing fit. She clutched the arm of one of the ornate chairs.
"Azula?" Zuko turned to face her finally, that terrible conflicted look she had become too familiar with was plastered on his face.
She removed her hand to find it covered in blood. He knelt beside her, crimson robes pooling around him. "Are you okay?" He inquired, grasping her wrist instinctively. His eyes went wide- her skin was cool to the touch.
"It stings a little but I'll survive." She said irritably, smacking his arm away.
"Hold on I'll call for Katara." The communications system a man known as the Mechanist had installed had proved to be quite useful, but it wasn't always reliable. She wiped her hand on the upholstery while his back was turned and smiled slyly. "Hi, this is the Fire Lord speaking- it would be really nice if you could send someone up here to tell me why my sister is coughing up blood… Thanks…" He sounded so nervous and hesitant that Azula had to laugh. She was crouching on the ground with a hand over her racing heart unable to contain herself when Zuko turned around again.
"Your lungs- what's wrong?"
"We match." She gasped gleefully. She suddenly had the terrible feeling that she couldn't control this outburst.
"What are you talking about?" He took a step back from her. He could sense it too.
"I hit you with lightning." She began to unwrap her white bandages from the bottom, working upward.
"What are you doing?" He wondered, eyes wide.
"I hit you in the center of the chest!" She gasped. "Look!"
Then Zuko saw what she meant. Above her flat stomach and between her ribs there was a wide red gash. The resemblance was uncanny.
"If only your Water savage had punched me in the eye, we would be two of a kind!" She gasped, dabbing tears from the corner of her eyes.
Zuko watched her helplessly, his lips pulled into a sullen line. It had always been like this, she would be his friend and suddenly become his nightmare without warning. He had never been capable of hating Azula, only how she hung him out to dry, especially when he needed an ally. She had turned her back on him too many times. He supposed he would have to get re-accustomed to this, the fleeting bouts of composure interspersed with bursts of raw emotion.
"What is wrong with me…" She wondered aloud to no one in particular, voice threatening to deteriorate into something more revealing.
By the time the palace healers arrived she had concerted herself and insisted that she was fine, but hadn't been able to get off the floor. She went with them anyway, dragging her bare feet.
"She's doing much better now. The blood was just left over from her injury, it should go away soon." Katara told Zuko in a room with the curtains drawn.
"Does she know who could have stabbed her?" Aang asked quietly.
"She can't seem to narrow her list of enemies down enough to come up with a probable suspect." Zuko replied darkly. "I'm still taking her with me. She's negotiated with him before. I'll be taking the entire royal procession and an airship; I doubt she'll be tempted to murder me." He had avoided telling them about her outburst yesterday.
"Is it really necessary for you to go? I only just got back." Mai was slouched in a chair to his right, her voice was bordering on whiny. She languidly adjusted the razor pins in her hair.
"Some things are too important for me not to make an appearance." He said gravely.
"You could be walking into a trap." The Avatar mentioned, gripping his staff.
"If I'm not back in two days, you know where to find me." He said, smiling weakly. Katara was clearly disapproving (of course), Mai was downright grumpy (nothing new), and Aang looked worried (as usual). "I want to leave within the hour."
"So… you're going to go wake her up?" Aang said uneasily.
"You have a point. My sister is not someone you want to wake up in the middle of the night." He admitted, equally apprehensive. The four of them were silent for a long moment.
Eventually Mai stood and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "pussies" then promptly proceeded to do an about face to the door with her usual severe elegance. No one immediately moved to stop her.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. Mai reasoned. She might as well face Azula while she was exposed and unsuspecting. Mai reached the hall that led to her quarters. It was lit ominously with torches that glowed red against the walls. She turned the corner cautiously.
Azula was lying with her hands calmly folded over her chest, as pale as ash. "Time to wake the fuck up Azula." Mai droned, sighing and crossing her arms to make sure all her knives were in place. She casually threw a morningstar into her head board, but her old leader didn't stir. Mai approached her like a ghost, her chest was barely moving. Maybe Katara had been wrong. She may have died from an undetected injury. "Azula." She said again, peering down at her bluish eyelids.
Her eyes shot open and she sprung bodily at Mai. Azula's fingers closed around her throat and they tumbled off the bed and onto the floor. "If you love him so much then die for him." Azula said in a tempting whisper. Mai reached up to crush Azula's trachea between her thumbs, if only to shut her up. There was a cruel cold fire in her eyes that Mai was too familiar with.
Just as her vision was beginning to blacken, a gust of wind thrust them apart. "Clearly I cannot trust you two to be in the same country at the same time!" Zuko roared.
"We finally meet again!" Azula wheezed with false pleasantry. "I've been dying to do that for ages now!"
Mai was rubbing her head where she had been thrown against a wall. Katara knelt beside her and Aang still hadn't removed his force field from between them. Zuko dragged his sister up by the scruff of the neck.
"You're a sick fucking monster." Mai panted, running her fingers along her throat. Katara seized some water from her traveling skin and set to work on the impending bruises.
"Everyoneknows that, Mai. Especially me" Azula spat before being thrown out of the room.
"You're getting on that damn airship and maybe if you're lucky I'll let Long Feng keep you in one of his cells just like you imprisoned Uncle." He said under his breath. If there's one thing I know about my sister it's that she's a liar.She's so good, in fact,that it's easy to forget she is one. At times like these he recalled how truly despicable she was.
"Ah, Zuzu that just warms my heart." She said breathlessly, allowing him to push her out of the palace and out under the stars.
She rode through Ba Sing Se chained to a komodo-rhino, followed closely by a royal honor guard with a dozen arrows pointed at her back. Maybe Zuko had done this to humiliate her, but at least she was dressed nicely and her high collar concealed the ring of bruises on her neck. It was mostly dark, not many people came out to watch her pass by. Zuko sat brooding and looking dejected on his own ostrich-horse.
"Princess?" An unexpected voice called out. A man ran out into the street. Judging by his clothes, he was a simple peasant. Azula usually ignored these people, deeming them undeserving of her attention. "Are you the princess of the broken mirror?" Azula stopped short. No one knew about that save herself. Zuko glanced back curiously.
"I…" Azula realized she had nothing to say to that. She stared at him blankly.
"There is a wise woman in my village, who foretells very accurate prophesies. She told me if I was to see a princess during my travels I should send you to see her."
"I'm busy at the moment. I can't visit a hedge witch in some obscure village just so she can tell me how many children I'll have." Azula growled and tugged her cloak closer to her body.
"She brings tidings of your death. Yours is an impressive tale, as sweet as a summer breeze, as sad as a songbird who does not know any songs." Azula detested oracles, and she was contemplating shutting this one up once and for all. Zuko was staring at her intently now.
"Don't you want to know about your death?" He continued amiably.
"Not particularly. Why?" Azula raised an eyebrow. She was oddly calm and Zuko noticed.
"Everyone wants to know how they die. And yours is a beautiful death."
"You presume too much peasant. Besides, I already know." She kicked her mount into movement again and moved on to the upper ring without another mention of the encounter.
"We should meet in neutral territory." Zuko said, standing at the edge of the moat.
"We're in Ba Sing Se." Azula reminded him dolorously. "There is no such thing as neutral territory."
The bridge landed before them with a mighty crash that stirred up enough wind to blow their hair around. As they had suspected, Long Feng knew they were coming. He appeared on the other side beneath one of the giant gates. Zuko and Azula crossed the expanse of stone side by side. They were forced to leave the entire procession behind as a sign of good faith. Long Feng approached them with an unctuous grin highlighted by his poor taste in facial hair.
"Good to see you back in my fair city, Azula. I admit I wasn't expecting to see you here again," He offered as a greeting. "I see you've brought your much more impressive brother."
If I had been here no one would have released Ba Sing Se from my control. She thought. Long Feng didn't seem surprised that she had survived his assassination attempt, though.
"Long Feng." Zuko reluctantly inclined his head toward the other ruler.
"I just discovered that you have mobilized your military." He said airily.
"Our father just escaped and someone nearly killed Azula. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" Zuko retorted firmly.
"Goodness no, but I'm happy to see you're doing just fine, Princess." He turned his smile toward her. Long Feng had put her in a terrible situation. He was making sure she couldn't accuse him unless she wanted to reveal her previous involvement.
"I don't see why we can't be partners." Long Feng continued. "I simply ask that you demobilize your army and allow me to rule Ba Sing Se unhindered. After all," He turned to Azula. "You were the one that took it from me."
"Come now, Long Feng. How many functional business relationships have you known to begin with an ultimatum?" Azula leered, gazing at him slyly. This was the game they played.
"I am simply suggesting a compromise, Princess."
Azula recoiled from the word.
"What are your terms?" Zuko queried, always the peacekeeper.
"Come on Zuko. Let's go before this idiot has the chance to make a bigger ass of himself." She wasn't going to make a deal with a man who had tried to kill her. She would plant incriminating evidence for Zuko to find later and persuade him to believe Long Feng had freed their father. Azula turned to walk away, and Zuko moved to follow apprehensively.
"If you leave now, Fire Lord Zuko, your sister's life is forfeit."
Azula spun around to face him.
Long Feng was smirking with confidence and superiority.
"What are you talking about?" Zuko spat ignorantly, oblivious to the fact that he had been bested.
"I should have known you would take the coward's way out." She said coolly, addressing her fellow chess master. "Really, there just isn't any creativity anymore when it comes to dispatching your enemies. In our line of work it is a fading and unappreciated art, wouldn't you agree?"
Zuko was looking quickly from Long Feng to Azula as though he was going mad.
"You're already feeling the effects of it, aren't you?" He asked her softly. "It's a warm night; you're wearing a cloak…"
"What the hell is going on…"
"Shut up Zuko for once in your life!" The admonishment came out a little more violently than she had actually meant it to.
"Your hands are trembling, your skin is peeling off, you can't eat without feeling sick, crippling headaches come and go, your reflexes have been deteriorating- oh and you're having difficulty breathing, correct? Firebending corresponds with your breath, doesn't it? That's one of the more convenient effects. If you do not cooperate, Zuko, your sister will never recover. You already bear the burdens of your dishonored nation- could you possibly bear the guilt of her death?"
Zuko was looking at her in horror. Azula suddenly found herself in a terribly awkward situation and in need of a plan. She wanted to tell Long Feng that he had grotesquely overestimated her value and that Zuko would gladly hand her life over to him before dooming his country.
Cities would not burn for her sake, soldiers would no longer fall with her name on their lips, many people would willingly die to ensure that no more disorder would be inflicted on the world due to Princess Azula of the House of Agni. Zuko would let empires disintegrate for anyone but her. But upon second examination, once his initial shock had worn off, she saw something like hesitation in his eyes. Don'truinthisZuko. She pleaded silently. Then a simple but no less effective plan occurred to her.
"Don't be foolish," She responded calmly. "There is no antidote. As soon as I detected that something was wrong I used every last one of my resources. Eventually I found the information I was looking for."
Long Feng had gone very pale very quickly.
Azula realized what she supposed she had always known.
"You…poisoned her?" Zuko sounded as if he was choking on the information.
"I thought you would be pleased. She's so much less threatening now, isn't she." Long feigned friendliness easily, the corner of his mouth curled into a mocking grin.
"Why? Why would you…" Zuko croaked. Azula grabbed his arm, willing him to stay quiet. This didn't involve him and she didn't want him to say anything she didn't want to hear…
"Think of it as insurance."
"We have nothing to offer you, and you have nothing to offer us. This talk is over." Azula cut in, before her brother could ask what the insurance was for. "Zuko?" She said sharply, tugging his arm.
"There were only two possible outcomes." Long Feng kept speaking in spite of her. "Either you joined us and died before you had the chance to cause any real problems, and you cannot deny you would have, or, on the slim chance you decided not to join us- you would die before you could rise against us. Unfortunately, your usefulness ran out much earlier than I expected it to." Zuko fled from her side like she was contagious. She looked down and took a sharp intake of breath. The gears in her head were working, but not quickly enough.
"I sent the assassin before you could cause any immediate damage." Long Feng said, studying her.
"You've been in on this the entire time?" Zuko realized, the betrayal in his eyes irritated her more than anything else.
"It's your own damn fault you decided to trust me again Zuko." He really was incorrigible; he looked like a kicked puppy.
"Your father says the offer still stands, though I doubt that is any consolation at this point."
The revelation hit her like rockslide. "Father? He…?" Azula felt as though she would fall to her knees in shock.
Long Feng filled in what she couldn't bring herself to say. "He knew, yes."
This is not a revelation. Perhaps you were indispensable in the past,but he has no need of you any 've known all along,ever since those Fire Sages held you hostage, ever since Sokka rescued 've always known you foolish girl, you have always known.The voices were invading her headspace again; she hadn't heard them since she resolved to escape from the temple. Zuko was gratified too, she could feel it. He's wronged you too, may have scarred Zuko but he killed you,you 's killed you.
She took a deep breath, even though it hurt twice as badly as it previously did.
"You were his last great lieutenant, after all. I see you're still devoted to him."
Azula's fingers curled around her thumb, partially concealing the ring. Herpast,herfuture,heragonyherglory.
"Sorry," She hissed, snapping out of her headspace before it could take control of her. "I'm fresh out of forgiveness."
"I'm leaving," Zuko announced, in an "I can't deal with this shit any more" kind of way.
"I think not, Fire Lord." Long Feng said, a little too serenely.
Azula dropped into a firebending stance, ready to blast him to hell.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Princess. Wouldn't want to waste your strength." Dai Li agents were slowly rising on the battlements. Some had crossbows; others were approaching too fast for her liking. Theybetrayedmeintheendanyway.She looked from right to left slowly, considering her options.
She couldn't hope to fight them all now. To her left, Zuko looked dumbfounded but ready to fend them off. Youalwaysdotheunexpected;Ihavecometoexpectitofyou.
Azula threw a fire ball at Long Feng, forcing him to create a giant rock wall. She grabbed Zuko by the waist, took a deep breath and rocketed them both into the sky.
It was a short flight. But for her first time flying with a passenger, it wasn't so bad. They tumbled onto the parapet of the outer wall of the palace, far beyond the range of any arrows. "Of course," Zuko said, even more astonished than he had been. "You can fly! How could I have forgotten you could fly?" Azula didn't hear his shocked ramblings, though. Her lungs had temporarily seized and she was gasping like she was drowning on dry land. Plus, she had rolled a good 10 feet over the stone and was currently sporting a wide scratch on her forehead.
He pulled her to her feet and urged her into a run. If they could only make it just outside the wall and into the Upper Ring, their small army of guards would be there to protect them.
They vaulted down flights of stairs, skipping down steps like stones on water. Zuko was ahead of her, she cursed his long legs for the millionth time. She could hear the earth benders getting closer, but blood was starting to swirl in her head and her vision was blurring. He looked over his shoulder to tell her to hurry up, but she crumpled midway down the next flight. She clutched her stomach and grasped one of the metal bars on the railing. Zuko stopped and stared up at her, unsure of whether to go on without her or wait.
"Leave me, damn you." She said harshly, her brow furrowing. With every breath she sounded more like an ancient wheezing crone.
It suddenly felt extremely difficult to anchor herself to reality, and then it was pulled out from beneath her feet.
A/N: Essentially, Azula knows that Zuko loves her in some twisted way, but she doesn't want to actually hear him say it.
And she's going to die. If someone can give me a Dr. House-esque differential diagnosis I will be thrilled.
"last great lieutenant" taken from Harry Potter. Bellatrix is to Voldemort as Azula is to Ozai. Fitting right?
Unfortunately, I have become rather detached from the fandom as of late and I need to immerse myself again before I write anything new. I plan on re-watching the entire show over Christmas break, then I'll be able to churn out some quality text for your enjoyment.
Could really use some reviews at the moment, good and bad. I need some reassurance for life in general. All contributions are appreciated.