Disclaimer: I don't own G.I Joe. We're clear on this, yes?
Author's Note: Again, :italics: is telepathic communication.
The next morning, Snake Eyes got up early, joining Beachhead in his morning PT. He left well before any of the other Joes came out for their PT. While they, and incidentally, Scarlett, were out there, he snuck into Scarlett and Lady Jaye's room, placing a box of assorted chocolates on her pillow and a vase of red roses on her dresser. He left the room and headed for the dojo, stopping in the mess hall to grab a few pastries for breakfast.
Scarlett and Lady Jaye dragged themselves from the PT course back to their rooms. Beachhead had been unusually unmerciful this morning, not that he was ever merciful. When Scarlett opened the door, both women could smell the flowers. Scarlett stiffened and then stalked in, ignoring them. She opened up the drawers of the dresser roughly, causing the vase to dance back and forth a little. She grabbed a set of clean clothes and slammed the drawers shut.
Lady Jaye watched her friend, wondering when she would notice the chocolates. She had heard all about the argument between Scarlett and Snake Eyes yesterday while they were going over the Intel everyone had gathered. "At least he knows he messed up big time," she commented. "The flowers smell nice." Her friend continued ignoring their existence. When Scarlett turned around and noticed the chocolates, she stomped over, picked them up, and threw them onto Lady Jaye's bed. She continued on her way out of the room, slamming the door shut as she left for the showers.
Nearly a week later, she was still pissed off at Snake Eyes and the entire base knew it. She was beyond polite with him when she had to speak to him and ignored him otherwise. He had tried getting her to talk about it, but she would completely ignore what he was saying unless it was work related. If it wasn't, she would turn around and walk the other direction as soon as she saw him. He continued leaving gifts in her room, but otherwise left her alone after his one attempt to talk. He had Jinx ask Lady Jaye what she was doing them and learned she was giving them away and that the flowers were still in her room only because Lady Jaye had claimed them.
He decided today, she was going to hear him out, whether she wanted too or not. She was going through the line in the mess hall, getting breakfast. She was at the end when he came up beside her, with her customary morning coffee. She turned away from the line and bumped into him. He caught the edge of her plate, preventing the food from sliding off. She scowled at him and yanked the plate away as he offered her the coffee. She tried to move around him, but he moved with her, blocking her path. He stiffened and turned around when he felt a portal opening and she took the opportunity to pass by him. She stopped short.
The portal wasn't visible in and of itself, but the figure emerging was. The reactions of the Joes were immediate, everyone standing up, drawing weapons as they did so. By time the figure had fully emerged from the wall, there were multitudes of guns and a variety of sharp weapons aimed at it. Scarlett shoved her plate at Snake Eyes, having nowhere else to put it, and had her gun aimed at it as well. He balanced it on his forearm, freeing up one hand. It was quiet, and the sound of Snake Eyes clicking his tongue seemed loud to him. The noise attracted the attention of the nearby greenshirts. *My assistant,* he signed with one hand.
The greenshirts usually took the closest tables to the food, being exhausted by Beachhead by time they got to the mess hall and not really being able to go much further. "I'm sorry sir, but what?" one of them nervously asked. He signed again. They looked confused and muttered among themselves.
"Well! What did the damn spook say?" bellowed Beachhead, not taking his eyes or his guns off the figure.
"Sergeant Major, we think something about assistant, but we're not sure."
"Is that your assistant, Snake Eyes?" he asked.
Snake Eyes nodded.
"Yes," the same greenshirt answered out loud for him.
The assistant started walking forward as the Joes lowered their weapons and began to sit back down, muttering among themselves. Once Scarlett had put away her gun, Snake Eyes handed her the plate and the cup of coffee. She took them, but stayed where she was. His assistant took her time walking past the tables. He crossed his arms and started tapping his fingers on his upper arm. She sped up slightly and finally reached him.
*You were enjoying that* he signed as she stopped in front of him.
:Yes, M'lord.:
*Do you find it amusing?* He knew he wasn't.
:M'lord, why should I not? Do you not find it amusing to have weapons pointed at you? Do you not relish the chilling feeling you give mortals as you pass by?:
*No, I don't. Why are you here?* He signed with jerky and fast movements.
She shrugged. :I have gathered the information you requested, M'lord. I did not think you wanted to wait another two days for it.:
He sighed, irritated that his chance to explain things to Scarlett had just been blown. He walked out of the mess hall to go inform Hawk.
The Joes were once again in the conference room, minus Snake Eyes and his assistant. Duke sighed quietly. He wasn't sure if it was better to be sitting in the conference room discussing Intel or doing paperwork in his office. The environment was more or less the same. The conference table and the desk were the same light-colored wood and the walls were the same off-white. The only difference was the amount of Joes that could fit in each room and the possibility that maybe he wouldn't get a headache. Flint and Beachhead sniping at each other across the table was threatening that hope. He was about to tell them both to shut the hell up when Snake Eyes finally walked into the room. Snake Eyes closed the door behind him and leaned against it.
"I take it we are ready to begin?" Hawk asked.
Snake Eyes nodded.
"What about his assistant?" asked Duke.
*Already here.* Most of the Joes looked startled at that. Snake Eyes pointed to the left corner across the room where Shipwreck was standing. Normally Polly was perched on the sailor's shoulder. She was instead, perched on an annoyed Jinx, hiding behind her hair, in the opposite corner of the room. He was surprised the poor bird hadn't flown out of the room while the door was open.
*Stop hiding,* he signed to his assistant. She appeared behind the sailor and he jumped, swearing as he did so and moving away from the corner.
:What would M'lord like to know about first?: she asked.
"Can we actually see who we are talking to instead of asking questions of a walking cloak?" asked Psyche Out.
:If M'lord 'Damned Shrink' wants, I could be a floating cloak, M'lord.:
Snake Eyes shook his head and stopped when he realized Billy was chuckling. He turned slightly to the right to sign at him. *Why are you laughing?*
Billy stopped. "I, uh, thought Psyche Out's question was funny?" Billy could feel Snake Eyes glaring at him through the visor.
:The child can hear me, M'lord,: his assistant was amused.
That had Snake Eyes' attention. *What are you?*
"What do you mean?"
*You heard her. You should be dead.*
"No I didn't," said Billy.
*Just because I don't have Tommy's hearing, doesn't mean I can't tell when you are lying.*
Billy winced, giving a short bow, "Yes, Silent Master."
Snake Eyes tapped his foot. When Billy looked up, he signed *Well?*
Billy toed the ground, "It's embarrassing."
:To be an assistant is an honor, child.:
"Quit calling me a child! I'm an adult!"
She snorted. :When you truly consider yourself as such-:
*Enough,* Snake Eyes interrupted. *Billy, you will translate for those who can't hear her.*
Billy sighed. "Yes, Silent Master."
Snake Eyes turned back towards the assistant. *You can remove the cloak and start by explaining how the powers work,* he commanded.
His assistant nodded and removed the cloak, dropping it to the ground where it vanished. She stretched black wings upwards before resettling them. Snake Eyes could feel a headache coming on. He was starting to wonder if maybe he should steal some of Duke's aspirin for this. *Are the wings necessary?* he signed.
She frowned at him. :I have not gone without them for nearly five hundred years, M'lord.:
Snake Eyes rolled his eyes underneath the visor. *Start with basic information. How does it work?*
Billy started translating. "There are three types of powers: Eternal, Chosen, and Hereditary. The Easter Bunny is an exception in that it is both Chosen and Hereditary. Those with Eternal powers are very hard to kill, although should someone manage to kill an Eternal, they would inherit the power. Special rules are in place depending on the power. For an example, if someone were to kill Father Time, the new Father Time would only be able to affect time from that moment forward. Eternals include Mother Nature, Groundhogs, Jack Frost or Old Man Winter, and Cthulhu, among others."
"How is Cthulhu in there at all? I mean, he isn't something that has been around for hundreds of years like the others," questioned Airborne.
"That is true, but the energies that create the powers needed an outlet and recently created Cthulhu due to his popularity on the web of information. You mean the internet?" Billy interjected.
The assistant shrugged.
Billy continued. "That energy takes a long time to accumulate since most of it goes into changing the powers into what is currently popular thought. An example would be Saint Patrick. It used to be Saint. Andrew, but because of the misconception that the Irish and Scottish are the same, it changed."
"Can you tell us who the powers are? Specifically, who Father Time is?" asked Lady Jaye.
A skeleton flashed for a moment in the features of the assistant. Snake Eyes and Billy both flinched, along with several other Joes. "Ok, ok, you don't have to yell, sheesh," said Billy.
"Well, what did she say?" asked Doc after a few moments.
"She said and I quote 'You do not need the knowledge of such things'," Billy rubbed his head. "Damn that hurt," he muttered.
"So what would be some examples of Chosen or Hereditary powers?' asked Stalker.
"Chosen powers include M'lord, Cupid, Bogeyman, the Four Winds, and Tooth Fairy. Hereditary powers include the Sandman, The Man in the Moon, and St. Patrick."
"M'lord?" Scarlett asked. Several other Joes also had questioning looks on their faces.
"She means Snake Eyes. So, the Grim Reaper is a Chosen power," said Billy.
:That should have been more than obvious.:
*I asked her not to call me that,* Snake Eyes signed, more to Scarlett than to anyone else.
Scarlett looked over at the assistant. "So, does that make whatever you are a Chosen power as well?" she asked.
"No, the powers that serve other powers are not always the same type. The Headless Horseman works with us. Both of us are Eternal powers. The North Wind assists Jack Frost, the West Wind assists Cupid, and I'm not translating that," Billy said crossing his arms.
The assistant shrugged. :If that is what you wish.:
"Whatever would be simpler to say."
*Both of you knock-* Snake Eyes stopped signing mid-sentence and stiffened. Billy and the assistant were doing the same, not that anyone was paying much attention to anyone other than Snake Eyes.
"What's the matter, Snake?" asked Scarlett.
*I don't know,* he signed shakily.
"God damn motherfucking son of a cow fucker," swore Snow Job. Everyone blinked and looked at him. They weren't used to quite that kind of language coming from him.
*What is that feeling?* Snake Eyes asked Snow Job.
:It is corruption, M'lord.: The assistant said, shivering.
*What?*
"Exactly what she said," snapped Snow Job.
"Someone want to stop and explain what is going on?" demanded Hawk.
"There is a balance maintained by the powers. It is being shifted in one of the worse possible ways," replied Snow Job.
"Wait, so who are you?" asked Psyche Out, pointing his pen at Snow Job.
The temperature in the room dropped. "Did someone screw with the AC again?" Dusty asked, looking around.
Snow Job ignored Psyche Out's question, focusing on Dusty's instead. "What's the matter, fifty-five to cold for you? How about we drop it to forty-seven?" The temperature dropped as he said it. Dusty and some of the other Joes started rubbing their arms and shivering. "Thirty?" asked Snow Job, grinning wickedly.
"Stop fuckin' with the temperature, damn it. It's the wrong time fer tha' shit," Beachhead scowled.
Snow Job gave a hmph and the temperature returned to a reasonable temperature of seventy degrees. Well, reasonable to most.
"Can we focus on the point at hand, people? How does the balance work?" asked Stalker.
:There is, how do you say it? Room to worm?:
"Do you mean wiggle room?" Billy asked, after repeating what she had said. She nodded.
"Many of the powers themselves are neutral. There is room for the bearers to be evil or good, so long as it does not go against the basic principle of the power and the rules are not broken."
"Can you tell what is happening to the balance? I mean other than it shifting. Can you tell what is wrong?" asked Psyche Out.
"Yes, Cupid is being corrupted. How do you know specifically?" asked Billy.
Snow Job snorted. "Experience. The longer you have been around, kid, the easier it is to identify the other powers."
:I can taste the powers. The Chosen and Hereditary powers change a little, but the underlying flavor is still the same. Cupid tastes salty.:
"Waaay too much information there, assistant lady," said Snow Job.
Snake Eyes cocked his head to the right, *How does a skeleton taste anything?*
The assistant shrugged.
"So great, we have to find Father Time and prevent Cobra from killing him and somehow find Cupid and uncorrupt him too? How the hell do you even uncorrupt something like that? Are you sure you can't tell us who these people really are?" asked Ace.
The assistant twitched and then started inspecting her nails as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. She started picking at her pinky nail.
*You c-a-n tell us,* signed Snake Eyes.
The assistant stopped and stared at Snake Eyes with a blank expression on her face.
*Really?* Snake Eyes signed stiffly.
"What?" asked Doc.
*She can tell us if I order it.* he sighed.
"So order it and make our lives easier," growled Flint.
He gave a long sigh of annoyance and then held out his left hand as if he were holding something. The scythe appeared and there was a sharp intake of breath among the Joes. A flash of light blinded them. Snake Eyes was dressed in a robe and removing his hands from the edge of the hood by the time most of them could see again.
*Hate stupid hood,* he signed to no one in particular. The assistant snorted. He pointed at her. :Tell us the identities.: She put her right arm horizontally over her stomach and bowed. There was another flash of light and Snake Eyes was back in his normal gear, again.
"That's it?" Scarlett growled.
Snake Eyes snorted. *No. Not letting anyone see it, not even you.*
:That was an excellent use of light, M'lord. What sort of magic was that?:
*Flash bombs,* he signed, holding one up. She cocked her head to the left, curious. :You have interesting toys, M'lord.:
He shrugged, putting the flash bomb back. *Names.*
Billy sighed and played interpreter again. "Dr. Mindbender is a rogue Sandman, ignoring his duties completely and for the most part, his powers. When he does use them, he is very careful about doing it in such a way as to not break his rules. The Headless Horseman, who is actually a Grim Reaper who broke the rules, works as a mercenary by the name of Firefly. The Bogeyman is Cobra Commander. Yes, I agree the names are ridiculous. Anyway, Saint Patrick is Destro and the East and South Winds are Xamot and Tomax."
"Gee, it's a wonder Cobra hasn't taken over the world with so many of the big wigs on that list," said Tunnel Rat.
Snow Job, Billy, and Snake Eyes all snorted at the same time. "One of the major rules is you cannot use the powers for personal gain," said Snow Job. "Some of those powers are near useless as well. Destro turns green and can summon feasts on March 17th."
*The Headless Horseman only appears the first half of August. Vacation for me.* The assistant rolled her eyes, shaking her head slowly.
Snow Job rolled his eyes as well. "The East and South Winds are pretty useless without the other two Winds. They can call winds from their respective directions on their own."
"How likely is it for the other two Winds to join them?" asked Hawk.
Snow Job eyeballed Beachhead. "The West Wind changes sides pretty often The North Wind is severely unlikely to join them. It would be awfully hard to force him to do anything. He is one stubborn asshole."
"What about the others you mentioned? Who are they?"
"There are several among you besides the - I told you I'm not translating that," said Billy.
"Obviously, Snake Eyes is the Grim Reaper. She says Billy is a Groundhog. Beachhead is the North Wind, and I am Jack Frost, at your service," said Snow Job.
"Or Old Man Winter," grumbled Billy.
"Depends on how I feel at the time, kid," Snow Job said, shrugging.
"What about the others? Mother Nature, the Easter Bunny, Father Time, and such?" asked Psyche Out.
"Father Time is... You are fucking kidding me, right? Colton, seriously?" asked Snow Job.
*You said the West Wind changes sides-*
"Is the West Wind Tommy?" Jinx interrupted. Snake Eyes glared at her. The assistant shook her head no.
"But he is something right?"
The assistant hesitated before nodding yes.
"Well, what the hell is he, then? Quit stringing us along!" Jinx shouted.
The assistant closed her eyes briefly and then jumped on the table. She ran towards Snake Eyes, the cloak materializing around her and the scythe in her hand as she did so. She missed slamming into him when he moved aside, but she managed to snag his arm, barely, and they both disappeared into the wall as she pulled them through a portal. They came out at the crossroads with Snake Eyes in Grim Reaper form.
:Forgive me, M'Lord, but I do not wish for the others to hear what I have to say next.:
He nodded for her to continue, eyes slightly aglow.
:Storm Shadow is Cupid. The West Wind serves as an assistant along with his cherubs and as such, when he switches sides, they follow. You must remove the corruption quickly.:
:How?:
The assistant sighed. :Have you not read the manual, M'lord?:
:I don't have time to read much and it's hard to work through. Wasn't written in modern English.: He thought for a moment. :If I could, I would give it to Scarlett, she might enjoy deciphering it.:
:M'lord! You cannot give-:
:I know. How do I remove the corruption?: he interrupted.
:By focusing on the corruption as you reap it, M'lord.:
:Could... I remove the brainwashing as well?:
:Brainwashing? I do not understand, but you can remove many things by concentrating on them as you reap. Memories, corruption, and illness, among other things, so long as it falls within the rules, M'lord.:
:Good. Go get caught back up on work.:
She nodded as he disappeared. He reappeared back in the conference room.
"Welcome back, what did she have to say?" asked Snow Job.
*Told me how to uncorrupt Cupid.*
"Did she tell you anything about Storm Shadow?" asked Stalker, while Jinx asked "What about Tommy?"
*No, but uncorrupting Cupid is a trade secret. She didn't want others hearing it.* He hated lying to them, but figured Tommy probably didn't want everyone knowing.
"Our main objective is still Father Time, people. I'm adding Cupid as a secondary objective. Duke, pick out a team to go with us to Colton's house," Hawk ordered.
"Yes, Sir."
Author's Note: Oh my, that's a lot of 'magical people' gathered on either side of the battlefield. Did anyone guess who any of these were going to be? I didn't give you much, I know, but there was a hint before to Cupid in 'Serious Eats'. The original dream had Snake Eyes as cupid and no Storm Shadow was in it at all. This was not acceptable to me awake. I mean, Tommy is charming, has that spiffy hearing, and is an expert with what? Uh huh. It's just more logical in my mind for him to be Cupid than someone who wields a Uzi, can't speak, and was/is somewhat awkward around women. Sorry Snake Eyes, but allow me to offer a consolation prize of being the Grim Reaper instead.