Ben's head was about to explode. Every emotion in the world hit him at once. But mostly there was a blind panic. For a moment he was angry. What was Hal doing in his room? Why was Hal looking at his cell phone in the first place? Then the blind panic returned. Ben slammed his door shut and rushed over to Hal. He babbled almost incoherently. "What are fuck are you doing with my…that text, it's not what you think…you can't tell mom and dad they'll kill…what are you doing with my phone? Please Hal, you can't tell them." Suddenly he felt a vise grip on his lungs and he started coughing wildly. Jesus Christ. I'm having an asthma attack. He ran over and grabbed an inhaler from his desk and, sinking down onto his bed, tried to calm down. It was futile. All he could see in his mind was Hal running down to shout at his parents BEN IS DATING A GUY NAMED JIMMY LOOK AT THIS TEXT MESSAGE! Dating? Is that what he was doing? There was just too much going on. He couldn't breathe.
"Hey Ben; Benny!" Hal's voice cut through Ben's panic. It sounded sharp but somehow comforting. Ben opened his eyes, slowing his breathing down. Hal was standing next to his bed, looking down at Ben in concern. Hal touched his hand to Ben's shoulder. "Ben just breathe damn it. It's alright. Jesus Christ, I'm not gonna tell mom and dad. Just calm down, sit up, and talk to me." Ben slid up, and covered his face with his hands. He was completely emotionally drained. It was starting to be a familiar sensation. To his horror he realized he had tears in his eyes. Fuck. He was crying in front of Hal. Hal, who had teased him his entire life about being a nerd, about being overly emotional. "Benny. The reason I had your phone is it was ringing when I walked by. I came in to see who it was and try to turn the ringer off. When I pushed a button, that text message popped up. I really wasn't trying to snoop. We're too old for that shit. You obviously have a lot going on. Come on, talk to me." Hal sat down on the bed next to Ben.
In between stifled sobs, Ben let the whole story flow out of him. Ok, not the whole story. He edited out parts of the make out session. But meeting Jimmy, the instant connection, the strange feelings, the odd comfort he got just from the other boy's presence. It felt great to talk about it. He couldn't believe he was talking about it with Hal, though. He kept sneaking glances at his brother's face to gauge his reaction. All he could see what intense listening and understanding. Was this the same person he grew up with? Suddenly Hal had him in a bear hug. It was a little awkward because they were sitting down, but Ben finally relented and hugged him back. "Wow. Benny. That is a lot of stuff to go through alone. Or sort of alone, anyway. I'm glad you told me all this."
Ben looked up. "I just…don't know what to do Hal. I mean mom and dad, who knows how they're going to react? I don't even know what I'm doing, all this stuff that's going on…" Hal gripped him by the shoulders again.
"Ben, you know what to do. If you really like this…guy…you just let things happen. You see where it goes, and you move on from there, day by day. You don't have to plan your whole life right now. That's what I did, I thought I would do sports forever, then I fucked up my knee freshman year at LSU and that was over. I had no idea what to do with my life, all my plans were gone. And as for mom and dad…well that can wait. If you don't even know what you're doing, talking to them is just gonna complicate shit. When you are ready to talk to them, I'll be right there next to you. Now come on, we have Christmas Eve dinner. It should be smooth sailing without Matt whining about everything. You might want to wash your face though; you're all red and puffy…"
Author's Note:
Sorry this chapter is so short. I felt really good about the beginning and the initial dialogue, but things kind of fell apart for me in the middle. But I wanted to get this out so I can start working on the next chapter. I really wanted Hal to be someone Ben could turn to in this story. Next chapter will be way longer, I promise!