Hi! So thank you to everyone who is still with me, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support. I know it's been like two months since I last updated, but this chapter was a particularly difficult one to write, and I hope you'll see why. On top of that I had so much stuff to do for school, but now summer vacation has finally started for me so I don't have that to worry about too much.

Another reason for me being so not quick about this is that apparently I've decided it was urgent for me to translate the entirety of Rainbow Rowell's "Eleanor & Park" into my native language. I really truly don't know why, but I've already done two thirds of the book and I'm very confused about my motives.

And remember that creative writing summer program I was applying for? The one where I had insanely low chances of getting accepted? I totally got in! I'm flying out to Boston in two weeks, and I'm going to spend a month there, writing a lot and making friends (hopefully). Thank you to everyone who has wished me luck on this, I guess it really did the trick!

One last thing before I get off your backs: I got a review from Ben, a distant relative of mine, asking me if I also write original pieces. I couldn't reply by messaging because the review has been written from a guest account, but I do write original stuff. I have a song that I've written with my mom's boyfriend of the time (They're getting married in less than a week!), but mostly I write stories. I'm working on a full-length novel, but it's mostly theoretical and I don't have much really written yet. And now, at long last, chapter 10:

You'd expect being stuck in one building for weeks with an alien mass murderer would be scary.

Jess had expected that, too.

Maybe she didn't necessarily expect it to be as scary as other things. Like being stuck in a cell with an alien mass murderer walking around you. Or being stuck in a cell period. Or having your whole family killed. It might even not be as scary as being adopted by superheroes you've only heard stories about, even though it would definitely be a whole other kind of scary.

But she was certain that it would be a horrifying, eternally scarring experience.

It wasn't.

Which isn't the same as saying it was fun. It wasn't that, either. But not because Jess was afraid for her life or wellbeing. It was just… awkward.

And so boring.

Which really was just all kinds of weird.

Loki wasn't always present in the building, she discovered, which made sense – the food they ate didn't just appear out of thin air (although Jess wondered if it could make it. So far there seemed to be no real boundaries to what Loki could use his powers for). He'd use his magic to go out and come back unnoticed and retrieve supplies.

He probably stole them.

That sucked.

Jess tried to picture Loki visiting a grocery store, in his leather and armor and glaring. The thought was ridiculous, but it wasn't like there was so much else to do to pass the time.

Jess finished the three books Loki had given her in a week.

It was strangely exhausting.

As were all attempts to figure out how she was supposed to behave now that Loki trusted her enough to let her wander around the building without trying to kill him. If she had thought she was socially awkward in normal situations, they were nothing in comparison, and trying to come up with conversation starter for yourself and the person who tried to take over your world killing hundreds in the process and then kidnapped you after escaping jail was probably close to impossible.

Not that they talked much, or tried to. It was still a very tense situation for them both. Jess was still wary about the whole abduction thing, and Loki…

Jess honestly could not figure Loki out. His actions were so difficult to predict she'd given up trying. He could be nice and chatty one minute, and have a murderous look in his eyes the next. Jess didn't even know what triggered the changes when they came (unless she did something to provoke him on purpose, which she still occasionally did).

But on the time he was nice, he was almost kind.

Jess knew it was the first thing women in abusive relationships say: "He's not like that all the time. When he's in a good mood he's a sweetheart." So she tried not to think things like that. She tried not to think about how he let her make him laugh sometimes, and how he never insulted her unless she insulted him first, and how he never raised a hand on her again since that first time. She tried to remind herself how he kidnapped her, and killed more people than she probably knew, and didn't seem to care.

She was sitting in the surveillance room, watching the screens absent-mindedly. Loki was out, and the silence was disturbing. As much as Jess liked the quiet, she hated it when there was nothing for her to do. Then it just forced her to be alone with her thoughts, a usually depressing event.

She made a mental list of pros and cons about Loki. Because apparently that was all the mental stimulation she could get nowadays.

Cons:

1. He was a murderer

2. He was evil

3. He was probably psychotic

4. He'd kidnapped her

5. He'd hit her once and could again, and if he did he'd be a lot stronger than her

6. He had magical powers and used them to hurt people

7. Asgardian people were probably hunting for him and they didn't sound like they'd hesitate to trap Jess in the crossfire

8. SHIELD was also hunting for him and they definitely wouldn't hesitate to trap Jess in the crossfire

Pros:

1. He healed her leg

2. She wasn't being starved like last time

3. She wasn't being regularly abused like last time

4. He'd given her books and such

5. He was Thor's brother

6. He cared about the fact Jess got nightmares

7. He'd let her out of the cell

8. He was possibly more confused than evil

9. He was probably capable of changing

10. He had a weird sense of humor Jess was oddly into

Jess shut her eyes and exhaled slowly. I'm insane, she thought to herself. I'm crazy and delusional and insane. An alien kidnapped me and attempted genocide and now I'm trying to convince myself to trust him. I am stupid and impulsive and insane.

But even as she sat there thinking that, she couldn't deny it. At some point Jess had begun to trust Loki, to a certain degree at least. More importantly, she now trusted his ability to change and become someone better, someone safer for others and for himself, even if not the person he once was. Jess knew full well you can't go all the way back. Not after doing something like what Loki has done.

Jess wished she could stop thinking. Just flick a switch and turn the endless whirlpools of deafening, terrifying thoughts every once in a while. And maybe once she just wouldn't turn it back on.

That could have been peaceful.

Or she could just… stop breathing. In a way that could be an ultimate revenge against Lawrence, who wanted more than anything for his seed to grow and multiply and fill the world with his vile genetic mutation or whatever that thing even was.

What was that thing?

(Being left to her own devices for undecided amounts of hours at a time had her thinking useful questions of the sort.)

Not that she hadn't thought of the question earlier. God, the question must have gone through her head so much her subconscious was probably getting real tired of it. She thought about it when she first saw the purple flames her father created with the palms of his hands, and she kept thinking it for the ten months that followed.

Then she resumed that wondering when said purple fire has decided to start springing out of her own hands.

Jess didn't suppose she'd ever figure out an answer. Not on her own, anyway. She was smart and was well aware of it (sometimes she thought maybe she knew it too well), but she was under no conditions any good at science. Well, she could be, if she very much wanted to for school and such, but that did not equal to randomly solving mass mysteries even SHIELD couldn't seem to crack.

Jess blinked twice. Her thoughts were getting all loopy and fast lately, like her brain was too distracted for her to keep track. It was so bad she didn't even manage to concentrate on reading. She supposed the stress could be causing that, or all that sleeping she's been doing. But the truth was, the cause didn't matter nearly as much as the outcome. Days in which her brain worked on overdrive were always followed by similar nights in which her brain seemed to go to extreme lengths in order to antagonize her, including pulling out half forgotten memories and bringing crippling and not necessarily rational anxieties. Jess knew full well that in just several hours she'd probably be seriously thinking that maybe she'd never ever get better and that the dreams that plagued her sleep at night would keep her from getting on with her life, and wondering if maybe no one ever actually liked her. Even if she knew these to be lies at the moment, soon enough she would forget.

Knowing that just made her feel more helpless. Not hopeless, though. Not yet.

But at night…

Jess rubbed her face with her hands. Even her skin felt sluggish. Maybe Loki was drugging her food… but Jess doubted that, though she could provide no clear explanation why. She picked up her pen and the Sudoku book Loki had gotten her (she wasn't even going to ask herself where in the name of heavens he'd gotten that idea. She wasn't even any good at Sudoku). She added a few stray numbers to the square boxes on the pages in front of her, chewing her lip in a horrifically unattractive manner. Eyes focused ahead of her in concentration, Jess tried to submerge herself in the numbers, and drown away her spiraling thoughts.

She really, really tried.

When Loki's feet touched the floor of the building's first floor, he knew something was different even before his brain had the chance to assimilate to the change of scenery. When it did, he was able to pinpoint the source of the feeling.

Jess was singing.

Loki didn't know the song, which was not surprising. Jess must have been a few floors up, because he couldn't make out the song's lyrics.

Jess's voice wasn't… astonishing. It wasn't beautiful or any other adjective people would normally use to describe a good singing voice. But she wasn't horrible either. She was not always on key, true, but somehow she made that work. Loki supposed her singing was alright, or at least not utterly terrible.

Loki considered for a moment an attempt to understand the feeling Jess's voice seemed to have created in his chest. He quickly discarded the thought. As a rule, his emotions were best left alone. He'd learned that the hard way.

He decided not to let Jess know he has returned. It was unnecessary, and she would only be embarrassed that he had heard her.

Loki wondered briefly if he cared for her embarrassment.

He left the question unanswered.

Jess had been right about tonight.

She wasn't sure whether or not she had managed to fall asleep at all, as she had no way of telling the time, but she had spent at least an hour and a half on estimate lying on her bed and staring at the cell's door, which she had left open. She hadn't closed it even once since Loki unlocked it. The thought sent shivers down her spine and made her physically sick.

Right now, Jess was feeling as though her mind had betrayed her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't push away the maddening thoughts that overwhelmed her system, thoughts about herself and of Emmett and of her mother and of purple fire. Although these seemed to be quieter of late, like she was viewing those memories from behind a glass wall that dimmed the sounds and the colors.

Jess hated it, because even though she was losing the brightness of her family's memory, it still hurt.

Her mind was racing, going a million miles per hour, playing out every single flaw in her life, in the universe… in her. Jess wondered if being angry with your own head made sense. It probably didn't; nothing really did make sense in her life anymore.

I've had enough, Jess thought decisively. I need to clear my head. She wasn't naïve enough to hope to sleep anyway. Tossing the thin blanket aside, Jess set her bare feet on the floor and hoisted herself up. She momentarily lost balance, leaning on one of the cell's bars for support – just because she couldn't sleep didn't mean she wasn't tired. In fact, Jess couldn't think of a single thing that was more exhausting than the things she thought up on her bad nights. Then she was off out of the cell and onto the rest of the premises.

The night was pleasantly cool, and Jess found herself enjoying the darkness that engulfed her as she soundlessly made her way around the building. There wasn't much to see, as it was mostly vacant, but the walking itself – just moving, really – felt good. Fresh, somehow. Like breathing. Like she wasn't trapped inside her own skin.

Jess figured she'd stick to the main corridors rather than entering random rooms. They were all empty anyway, and the corridors should suffice to silence her thoughts for a while. That was why the toneless voice caught her by surprise.

"If you were aiming for a midnight stroll, your timing is a little off."

Jess stopped and backtracked a few feet to look into the room she had just passed by without even glancing at – the surveillance room. "Loki?"

Loki raised his eyebrows slightly, looking around the room sarcastically from one of the padded wheeled chairs at the control panel. "Were you expecting someone else?"

Jess rolled her eyes. "Ha ha," she said with equal amounts of sarcasm in her voice. "Hilarious. I was just surprised you're here, I figured you'd be sleeping, it's like two a.m." Without waiting for a literal or hinted invitation Jess crossed the room and occupied a second chair, pulling up one of her legs practically into her lap. She left her second leg on the floor, using it to spin her chair in absent minded half-circles. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I could ask you the same thing," said Loki calmly.

"You could," agreed Jess. "I've been hoping you wouldn't."

"Why?"

Jess shook her head. "You know why; I don't want to talk about it." She lowered her gaze and voice. "It's hard."

"You seemed fine talking just the other day," mentioned Loki in an unfathomable tone. "Before I let you out of the cell."

Jess swallowed, wondering why Loki was suddenly so open. She had been starting to think that he'd pretend the door to her cell was never locked in the first place. Maybe it was something about the nighttime that softened him. "Yeah, the cell… the cell's another thing. It… has an effect on me. For obvious reasons. I don't know why you're suddenly bringing it up after days of pretending it never happened."

Loki shrugged. "Well, I'm not much for pretend."

Jess snorted. "That's a lie if I ever heard one," she said bluntly.

Loki raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Come on," she said earnestly. "Do you really think that you can honestly say you're always one hundred percent the genuine, natural Loki?"

Loki stiffened slightly. "Nobody is ever genuine," he said darkly. "Everyone has a secret motive and everyone is selfish, just like everyone is disposable. Everyone is a liar… and none of them better than I."

Jess watched Loki calmly, seemingly unaffected by his words. "Do you really believe that?" she asked. "Your anger at Odin I get, but what about Thor? Do you think the centuries you lived as brothers meant nothing to him? Really? Because that's… well, never mind depressing, it's horrifically narrow-minded. And if you're fine with being narrow-minded I might as well give up all hope for a better world because honestly if there's anyone I'd have assumed would acknowledge diversities it'd be you."

Loki said nothing. He stared ahead, his green eyes unwavering, looking off into nothing.

"Alright," said Jess, looking away. "Then answer me this. What's my secret agenda? I have no reason whatsoever to be any manner of civilized to you, and yet here I am. What can I possibly be getting out of it?" She paused and turned to look at him again, even though he refused to look back. "You really are a great liar," she added softly. "So great that you've been convincingly lying to yourself for who knows how long."

Loki looked back at her at last, and once he did it was like he couldn't stop. He stared at her, something not quite fathomable but also not quite unfathomable in his eyes, frowning ever so slightly, and said nothing. But that was fine. Jess didn't need words to understand.

She bit her lip self-consciously. "Bet you really didn't see that coming when you decided to kidnap me," she mumbled. "Well. There you have it, then. This is why you shouldn't abduct people."

"Why are you doing this?" asked Loki. His voice sounded different. Somehow deeper, but also more vulnerable and weaker. He was almost whispering. "I kidnapped you, took you away from your second chance of finding happiness with a new family, kept you locked up, invaded your world… you have every reason to hate me."

"I know," said Jess quietly. "I'm not really sure about it either. Though I read once, in a psychology book, something about it." She scratched at her arm nervously. "Apparently like, people who have been through trauma find comfort in the presence of others who have been through trauma. Sometimes it's actually a necessity towards them getting better."

"And that is what you think this is?" asked Loki.

"I don't know," said Jess. "It's not like I'm exactly an expert. But… well, you have been through a lot. I don't even know where you were after you fell from the rainbow bridge, I don't know what happened to you there. And I'm pretty sure I actually do have post traumatic stress disorder. So… it fits. Maybe that's why we get along better than your average kidnapper and victim. I mean, it's that or Stockholm syndrome, and I think we're better off assuming the healthier option."

"Unless there is no psychological reason," said Loki. "Maybe there is no reason for us becoming friends."

Jess blinked at him, and looked at him more intensely. "Friends," she repeated. "Is that what we are?"

"Only if that's how you see it." Loki spoke lightly and easily, but Jess guessed it was mostly an act. Maybe she was overhumanizing him.

"No, I do," said Jess. "I do. I just didn't expect you to say it, that's all. I figured you'd have issues with that sort of touchy-feely stuff." She leaned back in her chair, pulling at her hair absent-mindedly. "God. How did this happen? We should both just… I don't know, be on Dr. Phil or something. I bet ours would be the most watched episode of the season too, since everyone on the planet hates your guts."

"Thank you," said Loki dryly.

"Sorry," said Jess lightly. "It's the middle of the night though, so I'll say just about anything." She snorted slightly. "Ha. I'm apologizing to the crazy alien who kidnapped me. Yeah, definitely Stockholm."

Loki made an amused sort of hum. "Do you remember," he began slightly hesitantly, "the night I first abducted you?"

"It'd be a strange thing to forget," Jess pointed out, letting out a brief laugh.

"I thought you must be insane," he said, "to speak to me the way you have, knowing who I was and what I've done. What I could do. But no matter what I said, even after I had hit you… you just kept defying every single word that left my mouth. You stood there, tiny, wounded, scared, a mouse in front of a lion, and the craziest thing is… it worked. You got me to listen. How you did that I imagine I'll never know."

Jess shook her head. There was something shaky about the gesture. "Doesn't matter what I did," she murmured, looking down at her lap where her hands rested. "What matters is you listened." She bit her lip. "I guess that means there's redemption for you."

"Redemption…" The word escaped Loki's lips like it was a joke, a humorless laughter filling the room. "How can you possibly expect that to still be an option?"

Jess shrugged. "I don't know. I just do."

"You are wrong about me," said Loki darkly. "There is no forgiving, not for me, not now. You should know this. If your father would have asked you to forgive him for all the horrors he has caused you, would you have agreed?"

"No," said Jess immediately. "Not if he crawled to me all the way from prison on all fours and begged me in tears. Not ever." She crossed her arms. "But that's not the same thing."

"Why?" asked Loki quietly. "You grieve over the actions of your father. People grieve over mine, over the lives I have taken. There is no difference."

"There is," Jess insisted.

"What is it?" snapped Loki, suddenly irritated.

"I don't know!" Jess cried. "I don't fucking know, alright? All I know, is what I've said. Now stop- stop questioning me about it because I don't have any answers for you; I don't even have answers for myself. Don't ask me how you're supposed to get your stupid redemption because I don't even know how I'm supposed to climb the fuck out of this pile of shit that I've gotta figure out how to carry for the rest of my life. And people say that it's not gonna be that long and that it's gonna be hard for a while but then I'll get over it and I'll be fine but how the fuck am I supposed to be fucking fine when everything that my life was, everything that I was has been wiped away in a split. Second. It's like having my legs pulled from underneath me and now I'm falling and I can't get up because I have nothing to build myself on. So don't you dare tell me that you don't have the guts to try and be a better person because it is just… so easy. It is so effing easy, Loki, but you're too scared to try and it's breaking my heart. Can you just… can you just please say that you understand what I'm saying and that I'm right and that you're brave enough to be good?"

There were tears shining in her eyes, and falling onto her cheeks. She sighed in frustration and buried her face in her hands, wiping the tears away, cursing under her breath. "Just… fuck. Now I'm crying like an idiot. Fuck. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Okay."

Jess's head snapped up. "What?"

"Okay," said Loki softly. His eyes were serious. "I understand. You're right." He took a deep breath. "You're right about me. About everything. I am going to change my ways, and earn my pardon if I can."

Jess exhaled deeply. Then inhaled, and exhaled again. She took a few more quicker breaths. Slowly, shakily, her face split into a bright grin.

Then it slowly crumbled, and Jess's body shook with the force of her choked sobs.