This is a parody of the web video series Cinemasins and I do not own Star vs the Forces of Evil.
Everything Wrong With: Star vs the Forces of Evil
Episode 10
Spoilers
(duh)
Opening theme song begins.
Theme (ding).
Alright, here we are at our very first half-hour special (which includes the commercials). I am ready to be amazed.
Star: I just called, 'cause I have to say, happy birthday on your birthday day. Happy birthday on your birthday day!
*Sigh* And we begin things with, once again, the animation being slightly off (ding).
Also, discount 'Happy Birthday to You' song (ding).
Princess Pony Head: I mean, a princess, such as myself, could never indulge in such confections.
I think Princess Anna and Queen Elsa would respectively disagree with that notion (Anna and Elsa: *Sniffing the air* Chocolate.) (ding).
Star: Sliding down the twisty slopes of Zala Mountain…
I think you meant to say 'spiky' there, right Star? Because those mountains are clearly not twisty (ding).
Star: Then, dancing all night long at the Bounce Lounge.
(Ruby Rhod: All night long, all night long! All night!) (ding).
Pony Head: *Gasps* And that's my third strike.
Three strikes policy (ding).
Marco: What's that under your rug?
That's what I want to know (ding).
Marco: We only need three things: patience, brains, and the ever famous multi-faceted bobby-pin.
Uh Marco, I didn't hear 'breaking in and escape plan' on that list (ding).
Miss Heinous' Assistant: Ah yes, the newbies have arrived.
And now we finally reached the point where Jeff Bennett has run out of voices (ding).
Star: Radiant Shadow Transform.
Discount 'Sailor Moon' transformation sequence (ding).
(Star makes a princess dress for Marco).
And thus an entire batch of unneeded and unwarranted gender-bent fanfiction was born (ding).
(Advertisement for St. Olgas begins).
Discount 'Every pointless advertisement that colleges and universities send out' (ding).
Ad V.O.: We have a plethora of foolproof security measures.
First off, the 'Retractable Draw Bridge' is not a retractable draw bridge, it's a metal gate (ding).
Secondly, there is no 'Bottomless Pit of Dispar', it's just the ground we just saw people walk on with no difficulty (ding).
Thirdly, you're telling me you have ways of monitoring the mirror calls, yet the people inside can't even write letters to mail out or receive letters from home? You risk alienating the princesses whose homes don't possess these magical objects (ding).
(Miss Heinous takes away a princess' dimensional scissors)
Miss Heinous: These are useless. We have a Tramorfidian crystal in Tower 3. No rift can sustain itself within our walls, so you might as well cough up the scissors you smuggled in.
Why don't you just paint a sign that says "Destroy this tower and you can go home."
Marco: Once we get Pony Head and disable that crystal thing, those are our ticket out of here.
See (ding).
Miss Heinous' Assistant: Respect the queue, respect the queue!
Wait, is it 'line' or 'queue'? Writers, make up your mind (ding).
Marco: Come, on! Look at the intricate floral ornamentation on that armoire. The rich mahogany of the canopy bed. And there's enough velvet on that bedspread for me to swim in!
(Homer Simpson: NNEEEEEEEERRRRDD!) (ding).
Marco: No, we gotta do this quietly, without drawing any attention.
(Marco unlocks the door and Star rushes in excitedly)
Star: I am here 'cause I have to say, happy birthday on your birthday day!
You just had to say it, didn't you Marco (ding).
Pony Head: My deepest apologies but I must abstain, for partying is for the unrefined.
Discount 'Villiage of the Damned' child (ding).
Tea drinking princesses: It's not criminal, to be an individual!
A nice and rousing protest, don't get me wrong, but speaking in rhythm like that doesn't make you all individuals (ding).
Pony Head: Tee-hee hee, he got scalded.
Really? I didn't exactly hear him say 'ow' (ding).
Miss Heinous: An uprising? In my institution?
Are you really this surprised? Even the most evil of evil dictators know that their greatest enemy are their own subjects (ding).
Marco: Quick, find a place to hide.
Yeah, because barricading the door will always keep them out (ding).
(Guards pull back the curtains, only to find a pair of red boots).
Guards: Aww.
There's nothing wrong with this scene. This scene is gold.
Miss Heinous: Prepare the chamber; I'm leading this princess hunt myself.
(Cut to Pony Head's room where it's revealed that 'Pony Head' is nothing but a teapot, a candle, and some rope).
They fall for this (ding).
(Marco regurgitates the bobby-pin).
Eww (ding).
(Marco's eyes are forced open as a film titled: 'A Lesson in Etiquette. With a Glance at the Improper' is played on a huge screen in front of him).
Discount 'A Clockwork Orange'-style torture (ding).
(Star begins to cry).
Umm….I—I—I….I got something in my eye. DON'T LOOK AT ME (reverse ding).
(As pony head rips up the propaganda poster, her braid becomes undone).
Wait, how the hell does that happen? (ding).
Star: Raspberry Panzerfaust!
(Star destroys the crystal and the tower comes tumbling down).
What, no final obstacle to destroy the crystal? (ding).
Marco: Looks like that did the job!
Seems like Marco graduated from the Prometheus School of Running Away from Things (ding).
(Firework-like blasts emit from the tower rubble).
Unexplainable magic is unexplainable (ding).
Marco: Get on with your bad self my wayward sister.
Marco, please never talk like that again (ding).
Star: Okay Marco, I conquered my biggest fear and grew as a person, yadda, yadda, yadda.
(Elaine Benes: Yadda, yadda, yadda!) (ding).
(Miss Heinous tests the bobby-pin to see where it came from).
Overly complicated science is overly complicated (ding).
(The color green is listed as coming from the Earth Dimension)
(Kermit the Frog: It's not easy being green.) (ding).
Miss Heinous: Hmm, I will find the rebel rousers responsible for this and annihilate them!
Obvious foreshadowing is obvious (ding).
Ending theme song begins.
Ending theme (ding).
Episode 10 Sin Tally: 36
Sentence: Watching A Lesson in Etiquette. With a Glance at the Improper.