AN:

Hi everyone!

First off all I have to thank you all for awesome eight reviews for the last chapter and almost 1,400 views overall! I love you peeps! :D

Then I would like to apologize for the slight delay this time (not THAT bad I guess, but I'll apologize anyway lol) I was pretty sick for two days and didn't really feel like writing.

o-o-o-o

Elphabalover:

Haha, I know you can't wait for him to get lost… have been pretty much since chapter one lol One day my dear, one day… ;)

NIatheWickedlover:

Yes, I guess they do… guess that's the least you can do for our poor Elphie! ;)

Elphaba'sGirl:

Of course he wouldn't… He knows how much it sucks lol

TrinaAngle:

Again, thank you so much for your lovely and helpful review! I Hope chapters around the 3,000 word mark are somewhat satisfactory enough for you. I seem to be quite constant with that at the moment. Don't think it will go up much though. (But who knows)

And I really like "Tawaba"... too bad that the pairing itself already outlived its appeal by now lol

Dani:

Haha, yes it was xD

Olaf the Snowman:

Wimmy? Lol! Not sure if he would like the nickname… sounds not really all that manly, does it? Think this chapter will dampen your hyperness a bit, but if the previous one made you hyper be prepared to maybe get a heart attack before the last chapter of this story. ;P

The Wizard of Wicked:

.. yeah stick with "sorta" lol (for now at least)

MoonlitInuko:

As I said before, don't worry too much. Just try to enjoy the story. If it gets too annoying, feel free to come and visit me in New Zealand and slap me if it makes you feel better ;P

And yes, good ol' Elphaba is shining through here and there. Seems a bit random at the time but I'm sure she will win through eventually.

o-o-o-o

I would also like to say that I'm not all too happy with some parts of this chapter, but reading it 100 times over simply did not help much so I though I'll just have to upload it as it is and get on with it. Not sure why, but I guess it feels like there is too much waffling? I feel bit uncomfortable with writing so much about what people think and so little dialogue. There seem to be way too many questions, especially in Fiyero's head and writing it was awkward at times xD Need to practice this sort of stuff more I guess lol

I hope you still manage to kinda enjoy it anyway!

Xoxo MLE

Chapter Ten: Still the Same?

"Oh merciful Oz, Elphaba," he breathed, gasping for air.

Still barely able to comprehend this most unexpected twist of fate, Fiyero cupped her cheeks with trembling hands, caressing the exquisite cheekbones with his thumbs.

"I thought I had lost you, that I'd never see you again. Elphaba, I thought you were dead."

He almost choked on that last word.

"Elphaba?" she repeated slowly and frowned in confusion.

Not knowing any better he took her reaction for disapproval.

"You are right," he said, correcting himself. "Fae. My darling Fae."

He tenderly planted a consoling kiss on her lips, but she pulled away, shyly averting her eyes.

"You sure call me by a lot of different names. So… I assume I should know you?"

He might have thought that, after all this, nothing could surprise him anymore, yet her words knocked the wind right out of him. Was this an act or was this for real? What could have happened to her that made her lose her memory or at least part of it? Perhaps it was somehow connected to her mysterious loss of colour?

More and more questions flooded his head, but there was one single thing he actually was absolutely sure about: whether this girl in front of him was green, white, pink or blue - this was Elphaba. He could smell her, feel her.

Suddenly it occurred to him that his way of thinking was incredibly selfish. She was alive and well. If the only alternative was her being dead, brutally murdered in cold blood; what did it matter whether she remembered him or anyone else for that matter? If maybe the loss of her memory was the prize she had to pay for her life, it had been well worth it.

A hand firmly grabbing his shoulder brought him back from his reveries.

"Fiyero?"

Shaking his head to clear it of all these overwhelming thoughts, he looked up to find his brother standing right in front of him now, while Elphaba had retreated to the background.

"Tawim," he smiled, already a little weary from this emotional roller-coaster.

"Alright, two things," the younger brother began, his expression visibly torn between joy and disappointment. "One: I still can't believe you are here, it's a miracle! You can't imagine how relieved and happy I am and I would pull you right into a big, brotherly hug, if it wasn't for number two: risen from the dead or not; you can't just jump my fiancée and kiss her. Especially not like… that!"

In Tawim's head the scene how his brother had kissed his Fabala repeated itself over and over again. What was more, it had been a kiss of a kind he had yet to give her and he was flabbergasted at how easily it had come to Fiyero, almost as if he had already done it a thousand times before. She even had reacted to it – a thought he rather did not entertain at all. Well, if he was honest, his brother had always been the more daring lover.

Despite all this he would never allege that he had done this on purpose, just to hurt him. After all he was, well, his brother.

For Fiyero the surprises just did not stop coming that evening.

"Fiancée?" he repeated, his tongue feeling heavy and his head dizzy.

He nervously ran a hand through his blond hair. Quickly assessing the situation, he feared that the truth, or even half of it, could potentially endanger Elphaba. For as long as she would not be able to make these decisions for herself, he would not surrender any of her secrets.

"Look Tawim, I'm sorry. I… She…"

He took a deep breath and gazed at the ceiling. What was he going to tell his brother?

"You know, we went to university together and I had this major crush on her and, well, when I just saw her again, after all those years, it completely overwhelmed me. I guess I didn't fully realize that she was your girlfriend, um, fiancée.

"Congratulations by the way," he finally mumbled almost inaudibly.

He shot his younger sibling a sheepish look and Tawim nodded slowly, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly.

"Well, it's good to have you back, Firo," he finally said, patting Fiyero's shoulder. "I hope you will excuse us, but our journey was quite tiring and I believe we could do with some rest. Fabala?"

She quietly stepped forward and took the arm Tawim offered her. Fiyero, also more than weary of the festivities by now, followed them out of the ballroom, carefully keeping his distance.

Before he opened the door to his own quarters, he cast one last glance at the couple, only to watch Elphaba following his brother into his room. He felt a stabbing pain in his heart, an odd mixture of helplessness, jealousy and regret.

"Tawim?" she softly said as she emerged from behind the paper screen, wearing a navy blue chiffon nightgown.

He tiredly leaned back against the headboard of the large bed and sighed.

"Let's… just not talk about it, alright?"

Looking to the floor, Fabala played with the black ribbon tied beneath her bust. She felt awful. Two brothers, one long presumed dead, finally reunited and she had ruined the moment, simply by being there. It had been just as she had predicted it. Of course the way that had happened was something she could have never foreseen in her wildest dreams.

"Come to bed, Love," Tawim begged, patting the empty spot next to him.

She hesitated for a second before she made her way to the bed. As she crawled under the blankets, she caught sight of that familiar portrait of prince Fiyero by the fireplace. Somehow it felt odd sharing a bed with Tawim while the crown prince was 'watching' them.

She thought back to the kiss they had shared earlier that night. She had felt all the raw passion and desperate longing he had put into it. It had felt so genuine, so meaningful. Yet in the end he had apologized to Tawim about it, making excuses and declaring it an accident. She honestly did not know what to make of that.

She mouthed a silent "Good night" to the portrait and closed her eyes.

Tawim turned to his side and wrapped an arm around Fabala, pulling her closer. Knowing that she still was wary about them being so close at night, he had planned sleeping on the floor again, as he had done before their stay at the country estate. But after what had transpired that evening, he felt the need to keep her close and make sure that she still was his.

Well past midnight Fiyero was still lying awake, staring out of the window next to his four-poster. He really had tried hard to sleep in order to get rid of the chaos in his head. He had hoped to simply wake up the next morning and, looking at the whole ordeal from a different angle, find the perfect solution.

But, as so often, his plan did not quite work out. Instead of getting some rest, he spent most of the night beating himself up over things he could or should have done.

Fiyero got off his bed and walked over to the large, but rather empty bookshelf. Searching for his old life science book, he let his fingers glide along the dusty spines. When he finally found it, he opened it and retrieved a black and white photograph from between its yellowed pages.

He gently brushed a finger over the glossy paper. It was a rare picture of Elphaba. Since she usually hated having her photograph taken and always ran off whenever they had tried taking group photos, Fiyero had declared it his mission to hunt her down and take at least one proper picture of her. The result was the one he was holding in his hands.

It showed Elphaba sitting under her favourite tree by the Suicide Canal. The photograph was a close-up shot and the only reason why he had been able to pull this off, was that she had been sleeping. It had been the end of exam week and after days with no rest, but packed with extra study sessions, even Elphaba's body had eventually surrendered to exhaustion. In the picture she was leaning against the mighty tree trunk, still holding a thick history book in her hands, however her glasses had dropped to the ground and were hidden somewhere in the grass. He especially liked how the wind had pulled a couple of strands of raven hair out of the staid braid and blew them back and forth.

That had been quite some time before the Lion cub. Back then he had taken it for fun, but after she had disappeared, it had become his greatest treasure. Needless to say he would never show it to her, afraid she might tear it up in anger or embarrassment.

He took the picture back to the desk with him, where he sat down and continued staring at it.

"I'm so sorry Fae," he whispered, his chest constricting more and more the longer he kept studying her beautiful features.

Fiyero blamed himself for not being there for her. She had been out there somewhere for an entire year, while he had passed most of the time hiding in a corner, mourning her death and drowning in self-pity. Of course he had had a good reason to believe that she was dead, even so, if he loved her so much, should he not have exhausted all possibilities? Why had he never sought any real, physical proof that she was gone for good?

In the end it had been a fluke of pure luck that it had been Tawim who had found her and taken care of her. On the flipside of course, the two of them were a pair now, engaged to be married. He was afraid that he could have lost her for good, but he had no right to cry about it; after all it was his own damn fault. Maybe he should be much more worried about what would happen should Elphaba actually regain her memory one day. Would she blame him and stay with his brother or would she struggle deciding whom she loved more and eventually withdraw from both of them?

Comparing the Elphaba in the picture with the one he had met in the ballroom, he wondered how different they really were. Was the colour of her skin really all that had changed? Would this new Elphaba want her memories back? If so, he could try and help of course – only one living person in Oz could potentially know more about her than he did. But maybe she only thought she would want to remember and once she comprehended what a burden the full truth of her past was, would regret ever trying? Some would say she would be way better off building up a new life, blissfully oblivious to the hurt and hardships of the previous one. Perhaps Elphaba should remain dead, so that Fabala had a chance to be as happy as Elphaba had always deserved but never been allowed to be. Or should he even feed her lies to make her feel good about herself?

Considering all these possibilities, he knew that the old Elphaba undoubtedly would have preferred the brutal truth. However, the question was whether she still was that same person. It certainly would be too risky to just tell her the whole story over tea – how could he possibly know how this version of Elphaba would cope?

He heard the ancient grandfather clock in the corridor chime five times. There would be still another three hours until breakfast and since he would not be able to figure out what to do by brooding over it all by himself, he decided to start another attempt at finding some sleep. From today on he would be studying her, slowly testing the waters. Once he knew the new Elphaba well enough, he could begin contemplating what strategy to follow.

In the end this plan also was not going all too well. Having to be reinstated as the Vinkun Crown Prince, a lot of paperwork and diplomatic visits kept him rather occupied. He only had the opportunity to see Elphaba – or his brother for that matter –when they were all gathered at the large dining table, provided he was not having lunch or dinner with some official from Oz knows what country.

The first time in almost a week that he saw her outside the dining room was when Fiyero accepted one of his advisor's proposals to transfer the meeting on diplomatic relations with the Emerald City to the gardens. This change of scenery was most welcome, as he seriously dreaded this topic since he would now have to deal with Glinda as the new sovereign of Oz and she did not even know that he was alive yet. Likewise only few people were aware of the complicated circumstances of their separation.

As they walked past the duck pond, he spotted Elphaba wandering about all by herself.

"Thank you Gentlemen," he quickly tried to rid himself of his attendants, "that would be all for today."

One rather eager fellow tried to object, however, a more senior colleague held him back and shook his head.

Once everyone else had left, Fiyero took a deep breath and approached Elphaba.

"Is it alright if I walk with you?" he asked to get her attention, since it almost seemed as if she was ignoring him on purpose.

She whirled around, startled, because she had not noticed his presence. Looking into these radiant blue eyes made her heart beat just a little faster. A strange air of familiarity surrounded the prince, but not being able to pair this feeling with the associated memories was truly unnerving and made her head spin.

"Actually I feel rather dizzy and would prefer to sit down," she admitted.

"Sure. There is a bench right over there."

Wrapping his arm around her, he led her to the other side of the small pond and slowly eased her onto the wooden bench. It was baffling how touching her could feel so natural and so bizarre at the same time. She was supposed to be dead, yet she was right here; she was the woman he loved, but he could not deny that in some ways she was not.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize about what happened that night at the ball. I should not have done that to you – especially since you don't even remember me. That must have been… um… weird?"

She stared at her hands, folded on her lap. Weird was one way to describe the kiss, but above all she was still totally confused about his real intentions. Her eyes moved up to look at him for just one second before her gaze focused on her hands again. She wanted to ask him whether he had lied, whether there had been more between them than he had admitted to Tawim, but she was too afraid to be rejected or ridiculed.

When she did not even reply, Fiyero started to worry that she had been more than simply surprised or irritated.

"I hope my brother wasn't angry at you. You know, since you kind of…"

He thought back at how she had reciprocated his kiss. Had she felt something as well? Was her response guided by some kind of subconscious remembering? Or was he simply that good? For once he honestly hoped that that was not the answer to his question.

Elphaba closed her eyes briefly.

"No," she finally replied softly. "He didn't even mention it."

Fiyero just nodded, relieved Tawim didn't seem to hold it against her.

"So did we actually go to university together or was that just…"

"Yes, we did," he smiled. "Shiz University in Gillikin. Do you have any memories of that time? Anything at all?"

She sadly shook her head.

"No, I'm afraid I don't. I so wish I did."

This time she turned towards him and gazed right into his eyes.

"And I wish I would remember you. It kills me that I don't, knowing that I should. It's like a locked door right in front of me. I know that my memories are on the other side, but I don't have the key."

Her lower lip began to quiver and she averted her gaze, watching the ducks by the pond, hoping he would not see the tears that had started building up in her eyes.

"But if we were acquainted, couldn't you tell me everything you know about me? You are the first person I have met who recognized me."

In her case that was a good thing, Fiyero knew.

"I'm sorry, but I really shouldn't."

It seemed like she was desperate to remember but at the same time too fragile to take the harsh truth just yet.

"Maybe you should try a bit longer to find out for yourself. I'm sure that would be better than me bombarding you with things you don't remember or even understand."

She sighed but did not argue with him.

They sat there in silence for a little while until the crying of a small child disturbed the peace. Fiyero was puzzled. He had not been aware of anyone of the staff having a baby during his absence.

"My lady," the nurse called and Fiyero's eyes widened when she handed the little boy over to Elphaba. "I'm sorry my lady, but he just would not stop crying. He is fed and clean and just had a nap, but nothing would console him."

"That's quite alright," Elphaba smiled as she folded her arms around the child.

Liir almost immediately stopped crying and when she tickled his nose with the end of her long braid, he giggled and squeaked happily.

Fiyero could only sit there and watch the two of them, staring at them incredulously. This certainly was a scene he had never imagined to see; not in another couple of years at least.

Seeing how she was rather busy with the infant and not sure what else to do, he rose to his feet.

"Well, I'll be off then. I'm sure my counsellors are impatiently waiting for me. We should talk again some time."

"We should," she agreed quietly, looking almost sad.

He politely kissed her hand, since this was the only part of her body he was comfortable kissing in this current situation and left for the castle.