Guilty

Guilt. Noun - a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. See criminality

There are many side effects that come along with doing wrong. You know that feeling when you feel sick in the stomach? Or when you regret ever doing what you did? That is the one big side effect called 'guilt'. You try to ignore it but the feeling gets too strong to ignore any longer. You feel nauseas but you don't need to puke. You don't know it but your guilty conscience brings up these symptoms. The symptoms are clear. If you are filled with regret and shame then you have got the guilt. You can live a life of crime and outrun the whole police but you'll never escape that guilt. Guilt stays with you 'til death. Think of it as being married to it. I mean it is the same as marriage, isn't it? When you get married, doesn't the wife nag the husband but they stay together 'til death do them part?

Yeah…

Pretty much…

WayneWayne sighed as he closed his journal and put it back in its 'hiding spot' on his very messy desk. He tried not to wince as he moved the fingers on his right hand, they screamed with pain each time he moved them, but he knew that he couldn't let it show, or his family would become suspicious. Even though he had mugged Logan hours ago, he thought that he would be able to stop thinking about it, but with the black eye that Kendall gave him (that had just recently faded), the bruises on his chest that were going away, and his bruised knuckles along with the very light tinge of red on them, he knew that he wasn't going to forget anytime soon.

That was something else that was causing him to feel guilty. Not even giving a response when one of his sisters and her husband, some of the people he loved most in the world, announced that they were going to have a baby. Just because he felt a little bit shunned and downplayed on the news, like he had been shoved aside. He felt the same way when he went to the Ziggle Zaggles; it was like no one even remembered his excited. (No one above the age of 10 at least). He had accounted the feeling of loneliness to that and that's what drove him to beat up Logan that day.

He had seen him walking with Camille, he had seen them kiss, and then he followed Logan without even realizing what he was doing. Next thing he knew, he was sitting on top of Logan and beating him, punching him as hard as he could, ignoring Logan's choked words of pain. For a minute when he stopped and looked down at him, he felt that he should stop. But then he remembered his conversation with Camille.

"Yet," WayneWayne held up a finger. "After I did get beat up, if I recall correctly, you did stop to see if I was ok, just for a split second, before you went off with…Logan." He sounded like he was having trouble saying the name. "Which means that you still care."

"I care a little," Camille admitted, moving her hair out of her face. "And that's only because I care about my friends' well being." She shook her head. "You're a monster WayneWayne, and the only reason that you're doing this is to get back at them for trying too hard to get into their band…it's not worth it."

"It is," WayneWayne defended himself. "Because of them I had to suffer the ridicule from little kids, from my peers…and I know that they've been making fun of me this whole time. Just because I haven't been around the Palm Woods doesn't mean that I haven't seen them around lately."

"So why can't you just let it go?"

"…because I can't." WayneWayne shook his head. "Listen, you don't understand-"

"You're right, I don't." Camille nodded and a fleeting smile came onto her face. "And I don't want to." She gave a short wave. "Bye WayneWayne." She turned on her heel and started to walk away.

"I promise I won't do anything to you, Cammie." WayneWayne called, using her nickname. "I won't let anything that I do hurt you…but I can't promise it for anyone else."

So he had to do it, he had to go and continue to beat up Logan, to prove a point. When he finally finished he got up and ran out of the alleyway as fast as he could, praying that no one saw him. When he got the change, he ducked into a restaurant, claiming that he just had to use the bathroom for a second and quickly washed the blood off of his hand, already noticing that his knuckles were turning purple. It was getting harder and harder to hide everything from his family.

They were already worried about him but he continued to just play it off, change the subject, and leave the room to go back to his. He didn't want their pity; he didn't want to feel even guiltier from their looks of concern either.

Guilt had trapped him.

And he didn't know what to do at the moment.

WayneWayne walked across his room, kicking off his shoes and flopped facedown onto his bed. He laid there for a few minutes before darkness consumed him and he fell asleep. He didn't dream anything, it was all black, and that scared the shit out of him. Normally his dreams were full of color and with people that he was friendly with, even if he had no idea who they were (although he had heard that the people you see in your dreams, even if you don't know them, are faces that you've seen), but now he had nothing. All he felt was coldness and the darkness seemed to be mocking him.

About an hour later he sat up with a start, cold sweat falling down his neck. He wiped it away and got to his feet, stretching as he looked at his watch. 5:15, still an hour and 45 minutes until dinner. His stomach growled and WayneWayne left his room and went down to go to the kitchen. But he stopped when he saw his mother and Jaycee sitting on the couch, a bowl of popcorn on their laps, staring at the TV. He looked over and couldn't help but roll his eyes when he saw that it was Lifetime.

"Where's Sam?" WayneWayne muttered the question as he rubbed his neck tiredly. His dad didn't usually get home until right before dinner.

"He's hanging out with some of his friends that came into town." Jaycee replied with a smile. She looked down towards her stomach and rubbed it gently, her smile growing even wider.

WayneWayne walked across the room and sat down on the couch by his sister's side, pulling his feet up underneath him. He reached out and rested a hand on his sister's stomach and felt a smile twitch onto his face as he did so.

The room seemed brighter.

The darkness was gone for now.

A/N: And here's the chapter. Next one goes back to Kendall and the others and their reaction to Logan's beating. I'm probably going to make it from Kendall's and Camille's POVs at two different points in the chapter because the story is mainly focused on WayneWayne, but it's about Kendall and Camille as well. Thanks for reading guys; I didn't mean for the chapter to be this short, but with my other story Live and Let Live, I feel that it just makes the story more powerful. What do you guys think?

Cheers,

-Riley